My Mom said the strangest thing to me yesterday

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I was talking on the phone with my Mom today and we went from talking about handling my finances then the subject changed my Mom said she thought I was acting like a dike. When I asked her why she would say that, she said it was because I don't wear make up every day and I haven't been wearing skirts or dresses in a long time. I said to her that being a lesbian is about your sexual orientation and not about how you present yourself.

She complained that I wore jeans a lot and I told her that I really haven't had many occasions to wear skirts or dresses. Just so you know I don't have anything against gay people in general, I just don't like it when my Mom accuses me of acting like one. Especially since I am straight. Just think what she said is ridiculous. Would like to hear your responses. Thanks.

 

[sasaxrah]

Plenty of lesbians wear skirts all the time. This is stereotyping.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Plenty of lesbians wear skirts all the time. This is stereotyping.

I agree with you.

 

[sabyra]

Wow, what a conversation! Just as sasaxrah said, pure stereotyping.. wearing jeans and no make up is totally normal.

 

[nylonsnfeet]

Interesting comment indeed. Jeans & no make-up have been around for a number of years.

I have 2 daughters, ages 35 & 34. Both been wearin jeans & pants as long as i can remember. The older rarely wears make-up, the younger a bit more. Their BOYfriends are good with such.

Maybe mom needs to take a look out the window & catch up with the times.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

lol... you don't need an excuse to wear skirts, you should just wear 'em anyways, bc well you should lol...

but anywho... to clearify something, and I mgiht be wrong, the term "dyke" is generally used to discribe the "man" kind of lesbian... not all lesbians, you know the kind of lesbians thats all big and bad and tough and stuff lol.. so they wouldn't wear skirts and make up and be all girly.. i mean i could be wrong, I don't use that word so I don't really need to now the corect time to use it but i think it's the manly kind of lesbians..

but you should dress however you're comfortable I suppose. And that is kinda strange of your man to say lol.. Are you single? Because maybe she said that bc she wants you to start dressin better so you can attract men bc she wants grandkids?

 

[rhiannon]

Wow...according to your Mom I'm a dike....wait till my husband hears that!

 

[kered]

Wow...according to your Mom I'm a dike....

Me too!

 

[naughtylucy]

Me too!

 

[milagros317]

Your mother is way off, plenty of lesbians wear skirts or dresses and plenty of straight women wear jeans or other pants.

It is possible that she is just anxious about whether you will get married and this is her way of broaching the subject. Parents can be a real pain sometimes.

 

[Flatfoot]

Jeans aren't feminine??? She should see how the jeans women have these days accentuate a woman's features! I guess she's hardcore old-school, like before Mary Tyler Moore.

 

[Helena]

Your mom is behind the times. You need to buy your mother a tiara, place it on her head, and then tell her to stop acting like a raving queen.


Seriously, just do as you like. Wear what you'd like, and be happy.

 

[RChello]

or better yet...

just go get tickled out of your mind to take your mind off it

 

[BrightEyes1082]

My mom was convinced that I was a lesbian when I moved to New England,
because she thought I was moving to be close to Lee. Which I was, but that's
beside the point. I reassured her the best I could, but I found the only way to
handle it was to not really discuss it. I'd just say, Mom, I'm not a lesbian. She
had a plethora of reasons to think so, including man-hating because I was going
through a divorce, and the fact that I suddenly was spending all this time traveling
to see a female 900 miles away. She doesn't have those suspicious anymore, maybe
because I'm dating again, but regardless, I'd rather let her think I'm a lesbian than to
come clean about my BDSM activities or my D/s relationship.

In short - don't bother arguing with your mother. Just assure her when you can, and
live your life as you do.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Clothing does not make the individual; regardless of his or her sexual preference. This is insane to hear.

Sorry to hear about your situation, Jen.

Keep rockin' the wranglers,
Jeff

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Gee, according to her criteria, I'm one hell of a dike. In that case, I think I'll go get a used, really old F-150 and a rottweiler. Now, where did I misplace that Etheridge CD?

 

[Adam]

Oh boy, I'm sorry to hear that. That's not exactly the nicest thing to say to one's daughter. And jeans are very sexy, damn it.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

I agree with what everyone has said; it is pure stereotyping on your mother's part. I rarely wear makeup and when I do it's either lipgloss or lipstick, and I hate wearing dresses. The last time I wore a dress was the one I wore to my prom SIX YEARS AGO!

Everyone is different and have their own preferences for things.

 

[crydun]

Gee, according to her criteria, I'm one hell of a dike. In that case, I think I'll go get a used, really old F-150 and a rottweiler. Now, where did I misplace that Etheridge CD?

I hear you, Knox. I LOVE Melissa Etheridge and I'm as straight as they come, as you know. This is stereotyping and pure bullcrap!

 

[john getty]

I was talking on the phone with my Mom today and we went from talking about handling my finances then the subject changed my Mom said she thought I was acting like a dike. When I asked her why she would say that, she said it was because I don't wear make up every day and I haven't been wearing skirts or dresses in a long time. I said to her that being a lesbian is about your sexual orientation and not about how you present yourself.

She complained that I wore jeans a lot and I told her that I really haven't had many occasions to wear skirts or dresses. Just so you know I don't have anything against gay people in general, I just don't like it when my Mom accuses me of acting like one. Especially since I am straight. Just think what she said is ridiculous. Would like to hear your responses. Thanks.

Wow, that conversation seemed much stranger before I noticed you were a woman.

In any case, I agree with the previous posters, your mother may simply be behind the times, (that's not a criticism) the older generation generally are.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

lol... you don't need an excuse to wear skirts, you should just wear 'em anyways, bc well you should lol...

but anywho... to clearify something, and I mgiht be wrong, the term "dyke" is generally used to discribe the "man" kind of lesbian... not all lesbians, you know the kind of lesbians thats all big and bad and tough and stuff lol.. so they wouldn't wear skirts and make up and be all girly.. i mean i could be wrong, I don't use that word so I don't really need to now the corect time to use it but i think it's the manly kind of lesbians..

but you should dress however you're comfortable I suppose. And that is kinda strange of your man to say lol.. Are you single? Because maybe she said that bc she wants you to start dressin better so you can attract men bc she wants grandkids?

I disagree with this. On so many levels.

At any rate ... I think you're mother is a goober. If I were you, I would just laugh about it. Jeans are cool, no matter who wears them. (Personally, I'm not a jean person, however; I'm a cargo person. I love cargos with a mess load of pockets all over the legs! That's just about the only think I will wear on my legs, aside from sweat pants!)

Wear what you want. It's your body - no one else's.

 

[Saeria]

Take from someone whose sexual orientation gets questioned quite alot more than I'd like. I guess in some weird sort of way you'd call me just another angsty feminist. It's not uncommon to see me in a ragged pair of jeans and a band T-shirt, rocking those oil stains from the last time I spent under my car cussing at some part I'm fixing. I mow my own grass, I do my own house/car repairs, and have spent my time working light construction in the past. I haven't opened the old makeup kit in several months and my poor hair is always a crazy dishevelled mess. I watch porn when I'm bored, keep up with certain sports and politics, cuss like a sailor (when the occasion calls for it), and If i had a set of nuts I would undoubtedly scratch them every chance I possibly could. That being said, I'm not a lesbian.
My mother once said to me when I was oh.. i think about 15.. that if I ever became a dyke she'd disown me. She was, and prolly still is really worried about that even though I'm married to a dude. I can't hold it against her, though. She grew up during the era of women being discouraged from being ultra capable of anything outside of household affairs. She truly believes that a woman's job is to shut up and do as the man says. She wouldn't last a week in my marriage. I literally had to give my husband a black eye to straighten him out (it only took me 10 years to figure out what to do.) It's not uncommon for my mother to comment on how "manly" i come across to people when I open my big stupid mouth. Her advice "play stupid, and you'll appear more attractive". fuck that, the good Lord gave me a good brain and I fully intend to use it.
I'm prolly not the example women should follow, really. I've become standoffishly strong through years of total fuckery and have led a somewhat uncommon life. I've become strong to maintain a base level of sanity, not necessarily because I chose to. If I were dropped back into the dating scene, I'm pretty sure I couldn't charm a dude with my feminine wiles. I dropped those off at the daycare and forgot to pick them back up a long time ago.
Do you feel like a woman? Plenty of women act and look drop dead gorgeous dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I happen to see myself as one of those. Not in the atypical model sense of the word, but there aren't too many times I feel less than beautiful in my own way. And that's what it's all about. I like me, I like dudes (but maybe I'd bang a chick just to say I've done it cause that one incident when I was 19 didn't count cause I was too drunk to remember it... but that's a different story for a different day).
Just don't hold your mother's ignorance against her. Pointing out ignorance, sometimes, just breeds contempt. Shake it off, give her a big hug, and pray that one day she comes to understand a little of what it's like to be you.

The End

 

[Angel77]

I <3 jeans! I'm a jeans whore.

Oh yeah, and I'm straight.

I'm with pretty much everyone else. Just live your life and be happy. You can try to convince someone until you're blue in the face that you're not something they're accusing you of but is it really worth the time and energy in the end? Sometimes. And sometimes it's not. If she has preconceived idea on what a lesbian should look like, it's going to be next to impossible to convince her otherwise.

 

[sasaxrah]

but anywho... to clearify something, and I mgiht be wrong, the term "dyke" is generally used to discribe the "man" kind of lesbian... not all lesbians, you know the kind of lesbians thats all big and bad and tough and stuff lol.. so they wouldn't wear skirts and make up and be all girly.. i mean i could be wrong, I don't use that word so I don't really need to now the corect time to use it but i think it's the manly kind of lesbians..

I've always understood dyke to just be a derogatory term for a woman who sleeps with women. It has also been "reclaimed" by some lesbians as a term of pride. I think what you mean is "butch."

 

[Filthyweasel]

Hang on...I don't wear skirts, or dresses, or makeup! And I like girls too! Oh crap, does that mean I'm...

...a guy. Oh yeah.