My sadism just keeps increasing

[Tenebrae]

As far as I can remember, I always loved to see women in pain. Or getting desperate, crying, begging. Being tortured. My love for tickling might fall into other categories such as foot fetish (which I also have), sapphism, playful domination and others. But at the core, what REALLY turns me on above all is that tickling can be a display of exquisite cruelty.

I was around 20 when I first joined the forum. I was already on the more hardcore side, but thinking back on it, my fantasies were somehow tamer than they are now. Some 15+ years later, they have reached such a level of cruelty that they have become almost abstract. Something Dante could have written. The talented artists and writers of our community (chief amongst them Redscript and Kunzite) have most certainly been a source of inspiration, but it does not explain the phenomenon entirely.

It is like my inner erotic world has a life of its own. It grows. It refined itself over the years. Layer after layer, it built itself upon itself until it became the beautiful monster I am now staring at whenever I allow my thoughts to drift towards it.

I am happy to keep it to myself. I do not feel the adolescent need to throw it into everyone's face, to write stories inspired by it anymore. And I consider myself a very balanced person. As a kid, I used to be worried that I would grow up to become the bad guy I could see in action movies. That I would end up shot by James Bond, thrown off a tall building by Bruce Willis, neck broken by Schwarzenegger, etc... Are villains not sadists, I reasoned. The appeal of keeping a beautiful woman to torture at my leasure was too much, I had to be the bad guy, it was my nature.

And yet as I grew up, I discovered that my sadism was not a determining part of my personality, nor that it was going to make any choices for me. I turned out to be a pretty okay person: a loving father, an excellent husband, a competent employee and a good son.

Although not worried one bit by this side of me, I am sometimes baffled by the most extreme characteristics of my erotic imagination. I love it dearly, but I wonder whether any of you have ever felt the same. Ever felt your tickling fantasies have a life of their own? Ever been surprised at how cruel and/or sophisticated they can be? Did they keep getting more intense and out-of-this-world as you aged, or did they on the contrary become tamer and more grounded? I am very curious to hear your opinion~

 

[robmic]

I've always loved non-con tickling. Mainly because no one ever wanted to be tickled. So if I want to tickle someone, I usually tricked them into letting me tie them up, then go for it. But I wasn't a super cruel tickler. I would go short bursts to get the loudest laughter out of them then stop before trying it a little more. It wasn't my intent to traumatize anyone, I just loved the helpless laughter. But it changed a little bit as I got older and found girls to tickle, then have sex with them. I'd do my best to please them afterwards so they wouldn't be mad at me for tickling them and many would come back for more!
Don't know if that aligns with what you were inquiring about, but that's the closest to what I could say is sadistic in me.

 

[MrMacphisto]

My imagination is still decent, but with age, I think I've grown somewhat numb to this interest. I still enjoy it, but I don't have the same passion for it I had when I was in my 20s. The chaos of the world in general probably pushed my focus elsewhere.

 

[BuckWild]

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I am primarily a lee, so my imagination may be more masochistic, but I'm a story writer and I think that requires some sadism too. I imagine up a lot of very extreme scenarios.

It might sound strange, but I don't have interest in pain. I just love cruel and overwhelming tickling. Honestly, I think I always have. My earliest memories of my imagined tickling scenarios are still the same kind of theme, with inescapable bondage and merciless tickling to the point of begging and tears. My fantasies have certainly matured along with me, but that they were always about torture.

Though, as I got older, I think that my imagination got stronger too. I am able to put much more thought and detail into these scenarios than in my earlier years. Are they more sadistic? You know, I don't really think so. But they are certainly more detailed and involved, maybe a bit darker. I am also more creative now, having experienced more information to inspire me.

I think I must have always had some wires crossed in my head, but as I got older, I learned much more about storytelling and different themes. I think those things played into the types of stories my mind creates.

 

[Myriads]

It is normal.

Our sexualities never stop evolving, and they continue to do so long past the points where other aspects of our development start.

Part of this is due for this aspect of ourselves to be forever in a 'tuning mode' where we seek that which provides the most mental stimulation, then repeat repeat repeat evolving the like in small ways. Eventually you sorta cap out on a aspect or level and you move onto another. As sexuality is so multi faceted that can go on a life time.

The intensity dial is one of the most basic aspects that sees change. It tends to get turned up. Especially on fetish aspects. "Moar!" is a common human pull.

Myriads

 

[Wade]

Y'all make ticklish people super nervous, just sayin

 

[robmic]

Y'all make ticklish people super nervous, just sayin

With good reason! Just watch out when the bondage gear comes out!

 

[footfan69]

My interest is now more advanced, slow tickle torture, but all within the atmosphere of mutual consent. It’s really a perspective of love. Two people with smiles on their faces pleasing each other; the Ler thinking “I am going to give this person the pleasure they really want” and the Lee thinking “This person is giving me my ultimate fantasy.” The Lee is always naked, tied with their wrists together over their head, armpits exposed, being slowly edged to orgasm, and then tickled some more. Completely vulnerable and stimulated with a variety of instruments, including fingers, fingernails, lips and tongue. As a Ler, this is my fantasy. Sound like fun?

 

[Tenebrae]

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I am primarily a lee, so my imagination may be more masochistic, but I'm a story writer and I think that requires some sadism too. I imagine up a lot of very extreme scenarios.

It might sound strange, but I don't have interest in pain. I just love cruel and overwhelming tickling. Honestly, I think I always have. My earliest memories of my imagined tickling scenarios are still the same kind of theme, with inescapable bondage and merciless tickling to the point of begging and tears. My fantasies have certainly matured along with me, but that they were always about torture.

Though, as I got older, I think that my imagination got stronger too. I am able to put much more thought and detail into these scenarios than in my earlier years. Are they more sadistic? You know, I don't really think so. But they are certainly more detailed and involved, maybe a bit darker. I am also more creative now, having experienced more information to inspire me.

I think I must have always had some wires crossed in my head, but as I got older, I learned much more about storytelling and different themes. I think those things played into the types of stories my mind creates.

It is actually very nice and welcome to hear a 'lee's perspective on this ^_^

I was actually pretty much a switch in my teens, but as of today (36 years old) I am firmly a 'ler, another thing that has changed with age and experience. I do indulge puncutally into the sub side (my wife has some dominant fantasies she likes to explore, but she is getting more submissive with age as well), but it has become rarer these days.

It is normal.

Our sexualities never stop evolving, and they continue to do so long past the points where other aspects of our development start.

Part of this is due for this aspect of ourselves to be forever in a 'tuning mode' where we seek that which provides the most mental stimulation, then repeat repeat repeat evolving the like in small ways. Eventually you sorta cap out on a aspect or level and you move onto another. As sexuality is so multi faceted that can go on a life time.

The intensity dial is one of the most basic aspects that sees change. It tends to get turned up. Especially on fetish aspects. "Moar!" is a common human pull.

Myriads

You make excellent points, as always, in a scholarly sort of way.

I am sure all this is very normal and all, but nevertheless I find the fine mechanics of it all fascinating. And I wonder how much it can differ from one person to the other. In spite of what I am from now on gonna name thanks to you "the MOAR response" probably being the most common evolution, I wonder about the nuances and the different expressions of it all. For instance, a friend told me he had increasing interest in vanilla porn, something that absolutely does nothing for me.

 

[Tenebrae]

Y'all make ticklish people super nervous, just sayin

Hahaha, I love this Sorry, I guess?

Now the image of a cute girl sitting in the corner, nervously fidgeting with her handbag and sweating while while wondering whether she will be next won't leave my mind

My interest is now more advanced, slow tickle torture, but all within the atmosphere of mutual consent. It’s really a perspective of love. Two people with smiles on their faces pleasing each other; the Ler thinking “I am going to give this person the pleasure they really want” and the Lee thinking “This person is giving me my ultimate fantasy.” The Lee is always naked, tied with their wrists together over their head, armpits exposed, being slowly edged to orgasm, and then tickled some more. Completely vulnerable and stimulated with a variety of instruments, including fingers, fingernails, lips and tongue. As a Ler, this is my fantasy. Sound like fun?

More than fun, I would say this is very romantic As for me personally, it sounds too similar to a real-life situation to... tickle my fancy (yes I said it ) or, say, qualify as a fantasy. But more power to you~

 

[Myriads]

You make excellent points, as always, in a scholarly sort of way.

I am sure all this is very normal and all, but nevertheless I find the fine mechanics of it all fascinating. And I wonder how much it can differ from one person to the other. In spite of what I am from now on gonna name thanks to you "the MOAR response" probably being the most common evolution, I wonder about the nuances and the different expressions of it all. For instance, a friend told me he had increasing interest in vanilla porn, something that absolutely does nothing for me.

It differs massively from person to person. Each psychology is unique, and will respond and change over time in equally unique ways. So you'll see huge differences between people.

It all goes back to what a patch job our sexualities are evolutionarily because we have these big thinky self aware brains.

So everyone gets a unique track in said development that has a huge measure of randomness sprinkled in. This is further randomized by the 'nature' aspect of our lives, with random situations and possibilities being open or closed to us as we age. Our sexualities loop back into the circumstances we are in and keep trying to develop.

Your friend who has become more interested in Vanilla porn is a good example of all this. Often as we age, we experience all the surface sexual aspects we desire, indulge our bigger paraphilia and tune them very tightly, and reach a point where we start to look to sex and sexual interaction for other things than those aspects alone. Many seek connection, mental and emotional, and see in 'vanilla' sex a path that allows that more effectively over their fetish side. Other times it's just a peeling back of 'what works' to the basics for some, as a way to approach sex from a new angle. Again, the reasons are many.

The only thing you can definitely say is everyone will come at it differently, and for different reasons, and different goals. Unique atoms sailing along interaction with the things they encounter and changing as they do.

Myriads

 

[newTickleorder]

Nah, you're perfectly fine. We all have our unique tastes when it comes to our tickling fetish. Over the past few years, I've developed a craving for women being tickled in "cartoonish" scenarios, such as:

-A woman falls head 1st from a tall building and instead of dying or whatever, is promptly flattend like a pancake with their barefeet being exposed. And in order to "unflatten" her, you have to tickle her bare feet.

-I remember reading about this scenario on here way back in 2001, but he said something about Olive Oyl having a sparring boxing match with someone and they punch her clean out of her boots, and she flies into the wall barefoot and in complete logical fashion, the wall debris comes down as a set of stocks, locking her feet in and allowing her adversary to tickle her helpless soles silly.

-In Chilly Willy, Chilly squashes the guard dog into a can and his foot pops out and a feather attached by a crane tickles his exposed foot back into the can. Now this fantasy would be way hotter with a human woman. Sorry, not into cartoon dogs being tickled but if that's your thing then more power to you lol. I even made a few wacky gifs off that scenario lol:



-From "Once Upon a Horse" a woman gets involved in a bar brawl and swings from a chandelier, and then a guy puts her on his shoulders and slams her feet 1st through a wall, and a dog shows up and begins to start licking her exposed her bare soles, causing her to explode with laughter.

-From the Animaniacs intro, a woman is strapped into a leather chair and her tormenters begin tickling her helpless feet. She laughs like crazy and then one of her tormenters pulls a lever, pushing the chair into the ground along with the woman, leaving just her feet sticking out.

Things like that lolz.

 

[isabeau]

Why do i find this thread a total turn on....*shakes head* i must be mad or sick...especially considering the fact that i'm eons older than you lol...but i do get where you're coming from, i've had what i always considered rather perverted fantasies since i was a child.

 

[themoblitz]

I think it's perfectly normal and safe, as long as you feel you have it under control. I feel similarly- I amaze myself sometimes with how much of a turn-on cruelty can be. It used to bother me, but the older I get the more I feel comfortable with it, as there has never been any compulsion to act on these impulses. While I seem to get some kind of sexual gratification merely out of the visible distress of people, it is able to remain confined to a sexual and fantastical context.

Ironically, friends and family have gone out of their way to mention how compassionate they think I am. I always think, "if only you knew," but I concede they have a point.

I chalk it up to the idea that maybe some wires in my brain got crossed that weren't supposed to be, and go about my life enjoying my private 'sexual hotwiring.'

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I'd love for my boyfriend to be more sadistic to me in tickling.

 

[Tenebrae]

Nah, you're perfectly fine. We all have our unique tastes when it comes to our tickling fetish. Over the past few years, I've developed a craving for women being tickled in "cartoonish" scenarios, such as:

-A woman falls head 1st from a tall building and instead of dying or whatever, is promptly flattend like a pancake with their barefeet being exposed. And in order to "unflatten" her, you have to tickle her bare feet.

-I remember reading about this scenario on here way back in 2001, but he said something about Olive Oyl having a sparring boxing match with someone and they punch her clean out of her boots, and she flies into the wall barefoot and in complete logical fashion, the wall debris comes down as a set of stocks, locking her feet in and allowing her adversary to tickle her helpless soles silly.

-In Chilly Willy, Chilly squashes the guard dog into a can and his foot pops out and a feather attached by a crane tickles his exposed foot back into the can. Now this fantasy would be way hotter with a human woman. Sorry, not into cartoon dogs being tickled but if that's your thing then more power to you lol. I even made a few wacky gifs off that scenario lol:

View attachment 692566 View attachment 692567

-From "Once Upon a Horse" a woman gets involved in a bar brawl and swings from a chandelier, and then a guy puts her on his shoulders and slams her feet 1st through a wall, and a dog shows up and begins to start licking her exposed her bare soles, causing her to explode with laughter.

-From the Animaniacs intro, a woman is strapped into a leather chair and her tormenters begin tickling her helpless feet. She laughs like crazy and then one of her tormenters pulls a lever, pushing the chair into the ground along with the woman, leaving just her feet sticking out.

Things like that lolz.

I remember most of these vividly. Most people of my generation remember the iconic scenes from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but you actually went out of your way to point out the lesser-known ones. Those cartoons have shaped our imagination and were until the Internet the only access we had to tickling content.

I must mention though: in the Animaniacs, it was a man getting tickled (the mad scientist), not a woman

Why do i find this thread a total turn on....*shakes head* i must be mad or sick...especially considering the fact that i'm eons older than you lol...but i do get where you're coming from, i've had what i always considered rather perverted fantasies since i was a child.

Haha, I am happy that you find my inner thoughts arousing I imagine that we all can relate to a degree. And there is nothing wrong with your age, on the contrary your experience in the matter must be way more extensive than mine

I'd love for my boyfriend to be more sadistic to me in tickling.

Please send me his phone number, I'll teach him a few tricks

I think it's perfectly normal and safe, as long as you feel you have it under control. I feel similarly- I amaze myself sometimes with how much of a turn-on cruelty can be. It used to bother me, but the older I get the more I feel comfortable with it, as there has never been any compulsion to act on these impulses. While I seem to get some kind of sexual gratification merely out of the visible distress of people, it is able to remain confined to a sexual and fantastical context.

Ironically, friends and family have gone out of their way to mention how compassionate they think I am. I always think, "if only you knew," but I concede they have a point.

I chalk it up to the idea that maybe some wires in my brain got crossed that weren't supposed to be, and go about my life enjoying my private 'sexual hotwiring.'

Hahaha, that is exactly how I feel. Never ceases to amaze me how powerful and how much of a turn on it can be. Fortunately yes, I can say I have it under control as I don't kidnap random girls from the streets, nor do I abuse my wife Thank goodness, just like the vanilla people, we are not governed by our base instincts otherwise the world would be in total chaos... I mean, in much worse chaos than it is right now

Just like you, I am an all-around "nice guy", really. I am polite, educated, caring and loving. I guess I have my moments when I am angry, frustrated and jerk-ish like everybody else, but overall, no one could ever suspect how much of a monster is housed inside my heart lol. That said, as my wife recently pointed out, no one ever suspected Hannibal Lecter either

 

[Mr. Feet]

Tenebrae:

I'm quite late to this thread, as I have not been very active on the forum of late. But I had to chime in, as I found your musings interesting. Intellectual meditation on perversion can be fascinating (Philosophy in the Boudoir was always a favorite.)

Like you, I am very much into sadism as well as tickling, but I don't believe my fantasies have gotten any more sadistic with time. On balance, the "level" of sadism has remained fairly consistent for 2 decades, and maybe even slightly declined. So it may not be an iron law of sadism that the torture must increase in intensity or complexity, though the exemplar of the term certainly believed it did. The infamous 120 Days had several tales featuring recurring characters whose sadistic fantasies increased from simply torturous to murderous over time. The MOAR principle at work.

Also like you, I've never had any problem living a well-adjusted, ethical life, despite being strictly into non-con scenes, pain, etc in the fantasy realm. It's infuriating to read about someone getting the same things done to them against their will in the real world, that might be a huge turn on in a fantasy. But as long as it's in my mind, "No real people were harmed in the making of this movie..." I have had a few lucid dreams where I tickled non-consensually, and those were vivid and memorable experiences. I don't have any interest or desire to replicate those experiences in the waking world.

"The evil man is at his most evil when he is alone." (Nietzsche, loosely)

 

[Soles_Scream]

As far as I can remember, I always loved to see women in pain. Or getting desperate, crying, begging. Being tortured. My love for tickling might fall into other categories such as foot fetish (which I also have), sapphism, playful domination and others. But at the core, what REALLY turns me on above all is that tickling can be a display of exquisite cruelty.

I was around 20 when I first joined the forum. I was already on the more hardcore side, but thinking back on it, my fantasies were somehow tamer than they are now. Some 15+ years later, they have reached such a level of cruelty that they have become almost abstract. Something Dante could have written. The talented artists and writers of our community (chief amongst them Redscript and Kunzite) have most certainly been a source of inspiration, but it does not explain the phenomenon entirely.

It is like my inner erotic world has a life of its own. It grows. It refined itself over the years. Layer after layer, it built itself upon itself until it became the beautiful monster I am now staring at whenever I allow my thoughts to drift towards it.

I am happy to keep it to myself. I do not feel the adolescent need to throw it into everyone's face, to write stories inspired by it anymore. And I consider myself a very balanced person. As a kid, I used to be worried that I would grow up to become the bad guy I could see in action movies. That I would end up shot by James Bond, thrown off a tall building by Bruce Willis, neck broken by Schwarzenegger, etc... Are villains not sadists, I reasoned. The appeal of keeping a beautiful woman to torture at my leasure was too much, I had to be the bad guy, it was my nature.

And yet as I grew up, I discovered that my sadism was not a determining part of my personality, nor that it was going to make any choices for me. I turned out to be a pretty okay person: a loving father, an excellent husband, a competent employee and a good son.

Although not worried one bit by this side of me, I am sometimes baffled by the most extreme characteristics of my erotic imagination. I love it dearly, but I wonder whether any of you have ever felt the same. Ever felt your tickling fantasies have a life of their own? Ever been surprised at how cruel and/or sophisticated they can be? Did they keep getting more intense and out-of-this-world as you aged, or did they on the contrary become tamer and more grounded? I am very curious to hear your opinion~

I had a judgment based on your subject line, but after reading the above, I’d say this explains how my friends into hardcore BDSM/damsel in distress might feel. To enjoy it in fantasy content and or to practice it with consenting adults in a (consensual non consent) fashion is something I can back.

 

[Toermentor]

As far as I can remember, I always loved to see women in pain. Or getting desperate, crying, begging. Being tortured. My love for tickling might fall into other categories such as foot fetish (which I also have), sapphism, playful domination and others. But at the core, what REALLY turns me on above all is that tickling can be a display of exquisite cruelty.

I was around 20 when I first joined the forum. I was already on the more hardcore side, but thinking back on it, my fantasies were somehow tamer than they are now. Some 15+ years later, they have reached such a level of cruelty that they have become almost abstract. Something Dante could have written. The talented artists and writers of our community (chief amongst them Redscript and Kunzite) have most certainly been a source of inspiration, but it does not explain the phenomenon entirely.

It is like my inner erotic world has a life of its own. It grows. It refined itself over the years. Layer after layer, it built itself upon itself until it became the beautiful monster I am now staring at whenever I allow my thoughts to drift towards it.

I am happy to keep it to myself. I do not feel the adolescent need to throw it into everyone's face, to write stories inspired by it anymore. And I consider myself a very balanced person. As a kid, I used to be worried that I would grow up to become the bad guy I could see in action movies. That I would end up shot by James Bond, thrown off a tall building by Bruce Willis, neck broken by Schwarzenegger, etc... Are villains not sadists, I reasoned. The appeal of keeping a beautiful woman to torture at my leasure was too much, I had to be the bad guy, it was my nature.

And yet as I grew up, I discovered that my sadism was not a determining part of my personality, nor that it was going to make any choices for me. I turned out to be a pretty okay person: a loving father, an excellent husband, a competent employee and a good son.

Although not worried one bit by this side of me, I am sometimes baffled by the most extreme characteristics of my erotic imagination. I love it dearly, but I wonder whether any of you have ever felt the same. Ever felt your tickling fantasies have a life of their own? Ever been surprised at how cruel and/or sophisticated they can be? Did they keep getting more intense and out-of-this-world as you aged, or did they on the contrary become tamer and more grounded? I am very curious to hear your opinion~

I can 100% relate to that, and the fact that you write that you are a well-balanced person tells me that everything is as it should. There is nothing wrong with being sadistic, actually, for some (including me) it's part of the fun. I'm heavily into the torture of tickling, bastinado, and heat play. I love the tension, the fear, and the panic of torture.
Actually, I'm practicing SMTK with my wife... something that Kujman wrote about. It's a fascinating and extreme (but safe) way of play, purely based on the mood, consensual non-con (where there are no safe words), SM relationship, and trust. For me that is as close to what I always dreamed of doing. We both love it, and I have a hunch you would like it too.

 

[tickle_prince]

As far as I can remember, I always loved to see women in pain. Or getting desperate, crying, begging. Being tortured. My love for tickling might fall into other categories such as foot fetish (which I also have), sapphism, playful domination and others. But at the core, what REALLY turns me on above all is that tickling can be a display of exquisite cruelty.

I was around 20 when I first joined the forum. I was already on the more hardcore side, but thinking back on it, my fantasies were somehow tamer than they are now. Some 15+ years later, they have reached such a level of cruelty that they have become almost abstract. Something Dante could have written. The talented artists and writers of our community (chief amongst them Redscript and Kunzite) have most certainly been a source of inspiration, but it does not explain the phenomenon entirely.

It is like my inner erotic world has a life of its own. It grows. It refined itself over the years. Layer after layer, it built itself upon itself until it became the beautiful monster I am now staring at whenever I allow my thoughts to drift towards it.

I am happy to keep it to myself. I do not feel the adolescent need to throw it into everyone's face, to write stories inspired by it anymore. And I consider myself a very balanced person. As a kid, I used to be worried that I would grow up to become the bad guy I could see in action movies. That I would end up shot by James Bond, thrown off a tall building by Bruce Willis, neck broken by Schwarzenegger, etc... Are villains not sadists, I reasoned. The appeal of keeping a beautiful woman to torture at my leasure was too much, I had to be the bad guy, it was my nature.

And yet as I grew up, I discovered that my sadism was not a determining part of my personality, nor that it was going to make any choices for me. I turned out to be a pretty okay person: a loving father, an excellent husband, a competent employee and a good son.

Although not worried one bit by this side of me, I am sometimes baffled by the most extreme characteristics of my erotic imagination. I love it dearly, but I wonder whether any of you have ever felt the same. Ever felt your tickling fantasies have a life of their own? Ever been surprised at how cruel and/or sophisticated they can be? Did they keep getting more intense and out-of-this-world as you aged, or did they on the contrary become tamer and more grounded? I am very curious to hear your opinion~

Dude...your like a fine wine my friend! You simply get better with age!

 

[Tenebrae]

Thank you all for the new replies! I do not have much time right now but I shall be back to discuss more in the coming days

 

[Hiphophooray]

I'd love for my boyfriend to be more sadistic to me in tickling.

Maybe he'll eventually grow into it

 

[gyobfan4]

I can 100% relate to that, and the fact that you write that you are a well-balanced person tells me that everything is as it should. There is nothing wrong with being sadistic, actually, for some (including me) it's part of the fun. I'm heavily into the torture of tickling, bastinado, and heat play. I love the tension, the fear, and the panic of torture.
Actually, I'm practicing SMTK with my wife... something that Kujman wrote about. It's a fascinating and extreme (but safe) way of play, purely based on the mood, consensual non-con (where there are no safe words), SM relationship, and trust. For me that is as close to what I always dreamed of doing. We both love it, and I have a hunch you would like it too.

I'm fascinated with the SMTK style of play. Are you planning to go to an event in the future with your wife? I would love to attend since that's the only way I can get invested with what I'm into but don't have the money for a trip to America which sucks hard.

What do you and your wife do with SMTK? I like the idea of a stocks punishment scene and being buried in sand, the headspace must be wild going by the pictures I've seen.