knicks255
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2012
- Messages
- 506
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- 16
(psst. Hey. Hey it's Knicks. I'd like to note that this is a work of parody, not meant to insult anyone who posts about their real life experiences or anything. I'm just making a joke. It's not actually meant to be a good story, I'm sure there are plenty of those around here in other places. Now in a 'sec here I'm gonna go into the joke. Here it comes. The joke. OH BOY HERE IT I-)
Hey everyone. My name is Johnny Superpack, I'm 6 foot, 170lbs, and I'm single and ready to single. I had the most crazy cool rad real life tickling experience last night! It was, as the kids say, "the shit".
I work at a small local store that sells nothing but pictures of my sweet abs, layered on various products. Anyway, my boss decided to have our biannual office party this week for convenience of storytelling reasons. And let me tell you, it was CRAZY. I couldn't believe it when I got the notice! I was at my desk with a few of my coworkers when I found out!
"Wow I can't believe our office party takes place in a medieval dungeon" said Janet, my super attractive coworker with short brown hair who I think likes me by the way.
"I know, right?" said Erin, my super attractive coworker with long red hair who I think likes me by the way.
Doug didn't say anything. I have no respect for Doug because he never speaks.
"I'll drive us.", I said, jingling the keys to my newly purchased Ford. Everyone cheered. Except Doug because he's a real shit.
Anyway, the directions we got to the local Medieval Dungeon lead us out past the Wal-Mart, and Janet spoke up. "Hey, could we stop? I kinda want to get a soda."
"Oh, I'll bet you do.", I replied, winking, hoping somehow someone could read this as a sexual innuendo.
Finally we reached our destination. The building said "YE OLDE MEDIEVALE DUNGEONE" on it, as if written by someone who knew absolutely nothing about Old English, but I didn't really care much. We parked my really good car and went inside, after admiring the car for about 40 more seconds. Let me tell you about my cool car in another topic.
Anyway, the building was very authentic, torchlit and everything. There was also a neon Budweiser sign but they had beer back then so that's okay. A bartender looked at me with impressed eyes, at least I think they were impressed, he was wearing a knight's helmet so I wasn't totally sure.
Our boss was in the corner at a table, he smiled and waved at me, his enormous bushy mustache bouncing as he moved his head. "Hello, Coworkers!"
"Ooh, what's that?" Janet asked, pointing to the corner. A large wooden pair of medieval stocks was waiting there, calling a siren call to me, like a siren who calls.
"Oh, those are Stocks are devices that were used internationally, in medieval, Renaissance and colonial American times as a form of physical punishment involving public humiliation. The stocks partially immobilized its victims and they were often exposed in a public place such as the site of a market to the scorn of those who passed by." I said, wisely.
Everyone was impressed by my knowledge, and by the time I was done, Janet had already climbed in.
"These are a lot more comfortable than you'd think.", she said, giggling in a nervous but excited (perhaps nervcited) manner.
"Oh yeah? What about now?" I slyly slid my fingers along Janet's side, and she yelped.
"Oh no! Don't do that! I'm a 10/10 ticklish on my armpits, sides, and stomach, which I am telling you for some reason!"
Still smiling slyly in a sinister scheming way, I continued to slide my fingertips up and down Janet's side as she wriggled and yelped as she stared up at me, her eyes full of requests for me to continue tickling her because I was really good at it.
"Oh, Johnny-heee!" Janet was now giggling intensely as my fingers continued to tease her sides. Doug was just staring at us. Doug didn't care.
"Well, you two look like you're enjoying yourselves!" Erin approached, holding three beers. She left Janet's on the table, took a sip from one, and handed the other to me, ignoring that asshole Doug completely.
As I used one hand to continue poking at Janet, who was still yelping and etc., I took the other and took a sip of the alcoholic beverage. The bitter taste reminded me of my own tragic backstory, which I will describe in great detail in a later post.
There was an uptick in the amount of giggling from Janet as Erin, too, took a hand on her other side, a sinister smile crossing her face. "Oh, you were right, Johnny, this is fun!"
I nodded and leaned down to grin at Janet, who was also grinning as she writhed around. There was a whole ton of grinning. Even my boss was grinning. Doug wasn't. Fuck Doug.
Suddenly, with a yelp, Erin fell over backwards, landing perfectly in the middle of another set of stocks in an incredibly convenient coincidence. "Oh, shit!" she grumbled as the stocks fell shut and locked themselves due to gravity and increased convenience.
As Janet giggled, she cast her eyes on Erin and smiled wider. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Get her now! Go for her sandals, her feet are super ticklish."
Not questioning as to how or why she knew that, I just went for it anyway. Erin immediately screeched as my fingers made contact with her foot. "No, dammit! My feet are easily a 12 on a ten point scale regarding ticklishness in case you were wondering or needed to document it for future use!"
I documented this for future use and continued, digging my hand-parts into her foot-parts with a great degree of quickness. She gave me a glare the entire time, but it was the kind of glare that translated to "I am greatly enjoying this but I do not wish to reveal it until it is most appropriate for a future story you might write about this." Keeping one hand on Erin's left foot, I kept up tormenting her, while my other fished around for Janet's right side, interrupting her heavy breathing with another frantic round of laughter.
"My word!" said my boss, who was stroking his mustache that was two times larger than the last time I had mentioned it. "It seems that Johnny has found himself in a fortunate situation!"
Indeed, I had. I was tickling two beautiful women who definitely liked me, at the same time! What could be better? WHAT INDEED?
"I have a tickle fetish!" shouted Janet, and Erin, simultaneously. I was stunned! What luck!
"We should come back and do this every week!" Erin said, between bursts of hysterical laughter due to my really good tickling skills.
"I'll even pay for it! You have drastically improved my life!" Janet added.
"I ALSO HAVE A TICKLE FETISH" yelled my Boss.
"ME AS WELL" said Doug, the first time I had ever seen Doug say anything.
And then Doug and My Boss had a tickle fight, and so did the bartender, who was now over here for some reason, and it was really great and everyone declared me the new hero of the bar/medieval dungeon.
I couldn't wait to come home and tell everyone my amazing true tickling story, so I got in my car and pressed the flashing red button. The car grew massive wings and I flew to my sky fortress, from which I am typing this. I hope you all enjoyed my 100% true story. Stay golden, friends! Johnny Superpack, out!
(i am deeply sorry but this was fun as hell to write, special thanks to Beckers for inspiring the concept.)
Hey everyone. My name is Johnny Superpack, I'm 6 foot, 170lbs, and I'm single and ready to single. I had the most crazy cool rad real life tickling experience last night! It was, as the kids say, "the shit".
I work at a small local store that sells nothing but pictures of my sweet abs, layered on various products. Anyway, my boss decided to have our biannual office party this week for convenience of storytelling reasons. And let me tell you, it was CRAZY. I couldn't believe it when I got the notice! I was at my desk with a few of my coworkers when I found out!
"Wow I can't believe our office party takes place in a medieval dungeon" said Janet, my super attractive coworker with short brown hair who I think likes me by the way.
"I know, right?" said Erin, my super attractive coworker with long red hair who I think likes me by the way.
Doug didn't say anything. I have no respect for Doug because he never speaks.
"I'll drive us.", I said, jingling the keys to my newly purchased Ford. Everyone cheered. Except Doug because he's a real shit.
Anyway, the directions we got to the local Medieval Dungeon lead us out past the Wal-Mart, and Janet spoke up. "Hey, could we stop? I kinda want to get a soda."
"Oh, I'll bet you do.", I replied, winking, hoping somehow someone could read this as a sexual innuendo.
Finally we reached our destination. The building said "YE OLDE MEDIEVALE DUNGEONE" on it, as if written by someone who knew absolutely nothing about Old English, but I didn't really care much. We parked my really good car and went inside, after admiring the car for about 40 more seconds. Let me tell you about my cool car in another topic.
Anyway, the building was very authentic, torchlit and everything. There was also a neon Budweiser sign but they had beer back then so that's okay. A bartender looked at me with impressed eyes, at least I think they were impressed, he was wearing a knight's helmet so I wasn't totally sure.
Our boss was in the corner at a table, he smiled and waved at me, his enormous bushy mustache bouncing as he moved his head. "Hello, Coworkers!"
"Ooh, what's that?" Janet asked, pointing to the corner. A large wooden pair of medieval stocks was waiting there, calling a siren call to me, like a siren who calls.
"Oh, those are Stocks are devices that were used internationally, in medieval, Renaissance and colonial American times as a form of physical punishment involving public humiliation. The stocks partially immobilized its victims and they were often exposed in a public place such as the site of a market to the scorn of those who passed by." I said, wisely.
Everyone was impressed by my knowledge, and by the time I was done, Janet had already climbed in.
"These are a lot more comfortable than you'd think.", she said, giggling in a nervous but excited (perhaps nervcited) manner.
"Oh yeah? What about now?" I slyly slid my fingers along Janet's side, and she yelped.
"Oh no! Don't do that! I'm a 10/10 ticklish on my armpits, sides, and stomach, which I am telling you for some reason!"
Still smiling slyly in a sinister scheming way, I continued to slide my fingertips up and down Janet's side as she wriggled and yelped as she stared up at me, her eyes full of requests for me to continue tickling her because I was really good at it.
"Oh, Johnny-heee!" Janet was now giggling intensely as my fingers continued to tease her sides. Doug was just staring at us. Doug didn't care.
"Well, you two look like you're enjoying yourselves!" Erin approached, holding three beers. She left Janet's on the table, took a sip from one, and handed the other to me, ignoring that asshole Doug completely.
As I used one hand to continue poking at Janet, who was still yelping and etc., I took the other and took a sip of the alcoholic beverage. The bitter taste reminded me of my own tragic backstory, which I will describe in great detail in a later post.
There was an uptick in the amount of giggling from Janet as Erin, too, took a hand on her other side, a sinister smile crossing her face. "Oh, you were right, Johnny, this is fun!"
I nodded and leaned down to grin at Janet, who was also grinning as she writhed around. There was a whole ton of grinning. Even my boss was grinning. Doug wasn't. Fuck Doug.
Suddenly, with a yelp, Erin fell over backwards, landing perfectly in the middle of another set of stocks in an incredibly convenient coincidence. "Oh, shit!" she grumbled as the stocks fell shut and locked themselves due to gravity and increased convenience.
As Janet giggled, she cast her eyes on Erin and smiled wider. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Get her now! Go for her sandals, her feet are super ticklish."
Not questioning as to how or why she knew that, I just went for it anyway. Erin immediately screeched as my fingers made contact with her foot. "No, dammit! My feet are easily a 12 on a ten point scale regarding ticklishness in case you were wondering or needed to document it for future use!"
I documented this for future use and continued, digging my hand-parts into her foot-parts with a great degree of quickness. She gave me a glare the entire time, but it was the kind of glare that translated to "I am greatly enjoying this but I do not wish to reveal it until it is most appropriate for a future story you might write about this." Keeping one hand on Erin's left foot, I kept up tormenting her, while my other fished around for Janet's right side, interrupting her heavy breathing with another frantic round of laughter.
"My word!" said my boss, who was stroking his mustache that was two times larger than the last time I had mentioned it. "It seems that Johnny has found himself in a fortunate situation!"
Indeed, I had. I was tickling two beautiful women who definitely liked me, at the same time! What could be better? WHAT INDEED?
"I have a tickle fetish!" shouted Janet, and Erin, simultaneously. I was stunned! What luck!
"We should come back and do this every week!" Erin said, between bursts of hysterical laughter due to my really good tickling skills.
"I'll even pay for it! You have drastically improved my life!" Janet added.
"I ALSO HAVE A TICKLE FETISH" yelled my Boss.
"ME AS WELL" said Doug, the first time I had ever seen Doug say anything.
And then Doug and My Boss had a tickle fight, and so did the bartender, who was now over here for some reason, and it was really great and everyone declared me the new hero of the bar/medieval dungeon.
I couldn't wait to come home and tell everyone my amazing true tickling story, so I got in my car and pressed the flashing red button. The car grew massive wings and I flew to my sky fortress, from which I am typing this. I hope you all enjoyed my 100% true story. Stay golden, friends! Johnny Superpack, out!
(i am deeply sorry but this was fun as hell to write, special thanks to Beckers for inspiring the concept.)
