Non Sexual tickling

[PhillyBondage]

Parents all over tickle there children as a playful thing. Does anyone find this disturbing. I knew as a kid i wanted them not to because I knew I enjoyed it a little to much. They would never have understood that. Has anyone else had similar experiences? Do you cringe when you see someoen tickle their child. IDK, since i cant separate sexual tickling form non sexual tickling I almost think its comparable with sexual abuse. I mean I have no long term mental scars because of it, but it is pretty disgusting to me that parents tickle there child not knowing if the child will interpret it sexually. Do any of you TMF'ers tickle your children?

 

[Korastus]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tickling#Social_aspects
"Tickling is defined by many child psychologists as an integral bonding activity between parents and children.[10] In the parent-child concept, tickling establishes at an early age the pleasure associated with being touched by a parent with a trust-bond developed so that parents may touch a child, in an unpleasant way, should circumstances develop such as the need to treat a painful injury or prevent harm from danger.[10] This tickling relationship continues throughout childhood and often into the early to mid teenage years"


I think to compare such things to sexual abuse is a massive oversimplification, and entirely unfair to boot. It is illogical for us, as people who enjoy tickling in a sexual context, to interpret it that way for others around us who may or may not feel the same way.

 

[Mz Chaos]

You remind me of a boss I had years ago.

I was an avid T-Shirt collector. I had about thirty of them.

I was called in the office on a few occasions because of the shirt I was wearing that particular day.

One said... "I'm mechanically inclined... I screw up everything." I couldn't wear it because it had the word "screw" in it.

Another had a picture of Frankenstein's monster laying on a slab connected by wires to a huge machine... it said... "Some mornings I need a jump start." I couldn't wear it because it had the word "jump" in it.

So... I ask you... who had the dirty mind?

It's folks like you who make a lot of us parents afraid to play and be affectionate with our kids thus depriving us all from that close bonding that should be natural between parents and their offspring.

Yes... I tickle my kids... I still do and they are grown. I'm their mom... I wiped their asses, I bathed them... does that make me some sort of a perv because I touched them in some way while they were partially or fully unclothed?
When they are sad or upset I hug them close, stroke their hair, kiss their foreheads. Does this make me a baby-raper just because hugging, kissing and stroking is also a part of sex?

So... I ask you... who has the dirty mind?

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

IDK, since i cant separate sexual tickling form non sexual tickling I almost think its comparable with sexual abuse.

Though I don't share that feeling, I can certainly understand it. I've had tickling used to introduce sexual touch in actual sexual abuse over the years. But, because tickling is not primarily sexual for me, I still don't consider tickling alone to be sexually abusive...provided the intent to be abusive is not there. If I were wired differently and were unable to seperate the two, as so many are, I might feel differently.

 

[lemoncake]

A lot of times people tickle to express love and affection, and to make someone smile, not to turn them on. I think a good parent knows how to separate that. If you can't share love and affection with your kids, then what should you share? I know some people who view tickling as the same feelings as laughing really hard at a great story or joke. I guess its easier for some people to separate than others?

 

[Adam]

As far as tickling fetishists go, I think the good parents among them are able to separate the two scenarios. In the case of vanilla folks, they aren't going to get turned on by tickling and are just going to view it as a playful type of bonding between parent and child. I think it really depends on what side of the fence you're on.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I understand how the OP's comments can be controversial, but I think that some of ya'll are coming down a little too hard on him. He's not saying that anyone and everyone who tickles their children are child molesters. He's saying that for HIM, tickling cannot exist without sexual feelings, so if he were to tickle a child it WOULD be inappropriate. He doesn't understand how this works for other people, and is asking about it in an entirely respectful and non-judgemental way, (aside from the "disgusting" comment, which I don't think was the best choice of words). Give him a break

And also, saying that "good parents" can separate tickling and sexuality, when the OP has clearly stated that he CANNOT, is clearly implying that he's not a good parent, and quite rude, IMO.

Now, for me personally, tickling is playful first and sexual second. I frequently tickle my little niece, and it means nothing. However, due to the fact that I'm a lee, I could never enjoying being tickled by a member of my family I would feel disgustingly violated. So I do get your point.

 

[BellaRisa]

The problem with being a parent versed in the Kink World is that you know too much about what might be a kink, which is damn near everything. You can't spend your life as a parent fretting about what benign activity may actually be sexual, you'll go insane and never touch your child which is SO much worse. Seriously, everything you can think of from brushing their hair to clipping their little toenails has it's own Yahoo kink group and a chatroom and a magazine, probably German I tickle my daughters all the time, they love it. If it ever becomes weird for them, they'll complain and I'll...wait for it...stop doing it , just as family members stopped tickling me when I reached puberty and it got creepy for me. Respecting their wishes and paying attention to their cues is enough to keep them safe and well-adjusted

 

[venray]

Parents all over tickle there children as a playful thing. Does anyone find this disturbing.

Do you cringe when you see someoen tickle their child. IDK,

I almost think its comparable with sexual abuse. I mean I have no long term mental scars because of it,

but it is pretty disgusting to me that parents tickle there child not knowing if the child will interpret it sexually. Do any of you TMF'ers tickle your children?

He's not saying that anyone and everyone who tickles their children are child molesters. He's saying that for HIM, tickling cannot exist without sexual feelings, so if he were to tickle a child it WOULD be inappropriate.

No Skip....he is saying that he finds it disturbing and disgusting that people do this to their kids......not that if HE were to do it it would be so, but that for anyone to do it makes it so...

Some people cannot separate playful tickling from sexual, but they need not pass judgement on those that can...

 

[CrystalLight]

The problem with being a parent versed in the Kink World is that you know too much about what might be a kink, which is damn near everything. You can't spend your life as a parent fretting about what benign activity may actually be sexual, you'll go insane and never touch your child which is SO much worse. Seriously, everything you can think of from brushing their hair to clipping their little toenails has it's own Yahoo kink group and a chatroom and a magazine, probably German I tickle my daughters all the time, they love it. If it ever becomes weird for them, they'll complain and I'll...wait for it...stop doing it , just as family members stopped tickling me when I reached puberty and it got creepy for me. Respecting their wishes and paying attention to their cues is enough to keep them safe and well-adjusted

Thank you. I couldn't think of a way to word my reply without getting angry. You summed it up beautifully.

However--

but it is pretty disgusting to me that parents tickle there child not knowing if the child will interpret it sexually. Do any of you TMF'ers tickle your children?

First of all, you sit here and claim it's "so disgusting", then you want to know who of us do it? Why? So you can try to slam into us for doing something that your incapable of knowing the difference between?

Tell me your joking.

 

[LD_Tickler]

For a forum full of deviants celebrating aberrant practices, we sure are judgemental...

Philly, I sympathize a bit with what you're saying. In my mind, tickling is sex. I don't tickle guys, for example, and I imagine I'd have a hard time tickling my kids if I ever have any. Still, Bella's right; it doesn't make sense to insist that people refrain from normal activity just because it might have abnormal applications. Following that principle would lead to never being able to do anything.

 

[CarolinaTickler]

First of all, you sit here and claim it's "so disgusting", then you want to know who of us do it? Why? So you can try to slam into us for doing something that your incapable of knowing the difference between?

Yeah I didn't really understand that part of this thread either...


I don't see anything wrong at all with a parent playfully tickling their child. Can tickling be sexual abuse? Possibly depending on the situation, but that is true of almost any kind of touching between an adult and a minor. I think to make a blanket statement like, all tickling is sexual abuse is being too minimalistic. Tickling between parents and their children or among siblings is thought by psychologist to serve as a bonding mechanism and most classify it as part of the highest grade of social play.

 

[CrystalLight]

For a forum full of deviants celebrating aberrant practices, we sure are judgemental...

In which post are you referring this to?

 

[LD_Tickler]

In which post are you referring this to?

All the ones slamming the OP. Seems to me he's genuinely asking for opinions and giving his, just not in a particularly sensitive or well thought out way.

 

[CrystalLight]

All the ones slamming the OP. Seems to me he's genuinely asking for opinions and giving his, just not in a particularly sensitive or well thought out way.

Kinda contradictory post. Because of his insensitivity we need to be sensitive to his question?

And this:

but it is pretty disgusting to me that parents tickle there child not knowing if the child will interpret it sexually.

Is not a question; it's an opinion. So we all know what happens when one person has an opinion. Another person will have an opinion. And another, and another, and another, and another..

 

[LD_Tickler]

Kinda contradictory post. Because of his insensitivity we need to be sensitive to his question?

So we all know what happens when one person has an opinion. Another person will have an opinion. And another, and another, and another, and another..

I guess what I really mean is that I don't think his post was meant to be malevolent, it's just not carefully worded. I don't think he deserves all the rage flying at him.

I cringe when I see man on man tickling, for example, that's disgusting to me. It's my problem of course, not theirs. I feel like OP meant something similar.

 

[CrystalLight]

When you start bringing those kind of outlooks into the whole 'parenting' sphere, things tend to get a little hostile. Seeing opinions like the OP had made in reference to things that parents do made me bristle. Why? Because it felt like he was convicting me of being sick because I may or may not tickle my child.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Well then tell him why you don't think it's sick. I can see why that would grind your gears, but still, when people start slamming other people for their opinions, that seems overly judgemental to me. Confront the ideas, not the people offering them.

 

[CrystalLight]

I've seen no slamming in this thread, LD.

 

[venray]

I have seen no slamming of the OP but only of the ideas he has offered....

I do notice that many are clarifying his opinions for him and telling the rest of us what he "meant"....something that no one can do but the OP himself.....and he has chosen not to...

 

[LD_Tickler]

I've seen no slamming in this thread, LD.

I have seen no slamming of the OP but only of the ideas he has offered....

I've detected some rudeness and hostility that's not necessary to refute OPs point.

 

[PlayfulCarbonara]

For most normal people- no matter how you look at tickling, it is different in that kind of situation. Tickling your kid or your sister or brother or whatever is a whole world of a different type. No different than wrestling with them.

Wrestle with your sister and it's not much different than wrestling with one of your friends... except you're more likely to get annoyed with each other than you and your friend would and end up ticked off for a long while.

Wrestle with your gf or some other cute and non-related girl you'll more than likely find yourself naked and panting... hopefully in a bed but probably not.

 

[PhillyBondage]

Wow, some people are quite opinionated. I was just asking others to state how they felt about this, not wanting to start a war lol. So i guess the consensus is, tickling is not sexual for many so you do tickle children. I guess the important thing is to stop if you at all see it turning sexual when your child hits puberty. I think the problem is some parents don't know when to stop. I hear that some of you can separate the sexual feeling from tickling. I def wish i could, but don't know how. How can you be tickled without being turned on. Is this something you can learn? I think the problem is, many parent don't realize how tickling affects their children. I mean my parents don't know and at first i didn't even understand.

 

[PhillyBondage]

i guess i should not wait so long before returning to post.

 

[MaxSpeer]

I can hug and kiss my daughter. I've been doing it for 16 years. Never once in all that time did I feel odd. The feelings I have for my daughter are on another planet to the feelings I have when I hug and kiss another girl who is not related to me. My love for her is a divine feeling.

I tickled her when she was small. Same thing. Daddy making his girl laugh. My son, on the other hand used to tickle her so much that I actually felt like protecting her and would ask him to stop so she could breathe.

So tickling is something entirely different in these circumstances. I think everyone who has a child will understand that.