patience...

[Relent<]

I'm finding that as I get older I have less of it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

On the one hand, I don't waste time on unpleasant people anymore. I used to delude myself into thinking that I was minterpretting them somehow and that if I just got to know them then maybe it would make more sense. In the end though, some people are just assholes, and nowadays if I recieve even the slightest indication that a person is in fact an asshole, I start putting as many walls between me and them as possible. Then, when their assholishness reaches a peak, I can cut off all contact with them and not feel one way or the other about it.

To that same token though, some of my best friends started out as assholes--relatively speaking. If I'd had as little patience with them as I have now, I probably wouldn't know them. Does there come a point where you just don't care about friendship anymore? Sure, there's coordiality, and acquaintanceship; but what happens when that's enough? When you just don't give a shit anymore?

It's one thing to try to keep the friends you have, but when people outside of that circle are just nameless figures and faces, the world starts to feel a bit misanthropic.

 

[DarthGrinn]

From my end, it boils down to time as opposed to patience. I used to have time to go out and make friends. I used to have time to let people grow on me. I used to be able to hangout without any real plan or goal in mind other than to just chill out and have some fun.

I'm thankful for the friends I have, because they were around during a time when socializing was a big part of my life. Now, with family responsibilities mounting, as well as a growing career, everything has become more business-oriented. I don't really make friends any more; I make business contacts. I don't socialize, I network. I guess they are the same thing, just with different motivations.

It could be just another phase in life. Who knows; maybe some of these contacts of mine will find a way to upgrade into the friend 'category'. Maybe, through working together, we will end up establishing commonalities of a more personal nature (such as common hobbies, mutual friends and such).

 

[RangerLoki]

I'm the opposite, as I get older I'm finding I have more patience. I can sit and listen to people jabber on for hours and still find them interesting, I make friends easily and have to think twice to judge someone.
I'm not sure if I had a shock to my system when I was younger or what, but nothing seems to bother me anymore.

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

I feel like I'm becoming more patient and even-keeled as I grow older, too. On the other hand, like you, Relent, I seem to give people perhaps fewer chances to prove they're not assholes before just avoiding them altogether. As far as stuff like waiting for things, though? I am definitely more patient than I was when I was younger. I'm enjoying growing older. Granted, I'm at a between point when major aches and pains haven't yet become a part of my daily life, yet.

 

[Relent<]

Oh I've never had a problem with long conversations, provided that they aren't the one-sided kind that drag on and on about some manner of technical information that I either have no interest or no comprehension of. And even now, I don't find myself terribly judgmental. But there are some things I feel qualify as "red flags" when dealing with people. My list of red flags has just recently gotten longer. It used to be that I would tolerate people in this red zone for months before I finally said "to hell with them,"
but now?
It just seems like my tolerance for bullshit has decreased A LOT. Once you hit red, you get three strikes. But if you throw your bat at the umpire, that's more than a strike: I don't even know what to call that anymore.

I suppose I've just finally made another category after my red zone. I think I'll call it "N-OPE!" and reserve it for mental cases. (excluding family and co-workers)

 

[melanie2]

Patience was never one of my virtues...but as i grow older i find i have more than i did...we were put to the patience test before hubby's surgery...we had to sit at home for over a week, waiting...waiting can definitely test your patience.