Quintessentially British!

[TklDuo-Drew]

Doctor Who
Torchwood
The Yardbirds
The Animals
John Mayall
Ale........too many good ones to list



Drew

 

[Mister Scruff]

All the French, all the Argentinians or all the Exocets?

All three. We're just THAT hard.

Do you think it's possible to hump a French girl to death, then?

I dunno. Fun to try though.

Either that or the Americans asking QE II to be their head of state.

No, if they did that she'd go over there to further her career in Hollywood, and like them better, then she'd never return and we'd be stuck without some old person taking all our tax money.

Bloody German immigrants, they come over here, take all our taxes...

Hornswoop me bungo pony.

Is that some sort of Cornish prison language?

Nope, didn't catch any of that.

Jackie Smith? Husband? Claimed pornos on her Westminster expenses?... Never mind.

Oooooooooohhhh my God, I sooooooooo cannot believe you said that Mister Scruff.

No I'm not joking, I think I actually did. She even looked like Matt Lucas as well

What do you call a Cornish spiritual leader? The Dalai Farmer.

What do you call a Cornish pimp?...




No seriously, I'm asking. I'm down there next month and it gets lonely

 

[Mephistopheles]

Quintessentially british?
Great domestic football league, shite national team.

Quote from my newspaper: "Football is a simple game of 11 versus 11 and in the end the English win."



And Brittain is also the home of the most incoherent system of measurement in the world.

 

[Mister Scruff]

And Brittain is also the home of the most incoherent system of measurement in the world.

That's just bollocks. I'm 1828.8 millimeters tall and weigh 0.08391458845 metric tonnes and I'm proud of it. Long live European measurements!

 

[Lord Doctor]

Aren't you all forgetting something?

 

[Mephistopheles]

Aren't you all forgetting something?

That brits also have small penises?

 

[Lord Doctor]

Pots and kettles

 

[Colonel Chapman]

I’m sure no one has overlooked our crack military and the kilts as right proper formal military dress.
Right then!

It's a man's life in the modern army …

 

[Mister Scruff]

Aren't you all forgetting something?

Doctor Who, you mean? The clap is a better export than Doctor Who.

Also I refute the suggestion that all British people have small cocks by pointiong out that my penis is 180 Imperial centi-yards long.

 

[Evil Dave]

Don't forget Northern Ireland! ;D

Sorry, I was being a quintessentially British pedant and taking Britain as meaning England, Scotland and Wales.

If we were talking about 'The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland' then of course, that'd be a different story.

 

[Evil Dave]

Aren't you all forgetting something?

You're absolutely right, I don't think anyone's mentioned The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy yet.

 

[subZer0]

You're absolutely right, I don't think anyone's mentioned The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy yet.

It's not as bad as saying England and meaning Britain though...

He he!

I think my country has much to be proud of. Aside from fucking Scousers though. I hate them so much...

On a much lighter note, thanks to you Yankee Doodle-Doo's for your kind and much appreciated words. It's nice to see positive comments about my country once in a while...!

EDIT: Mr. Dave, I seem to have h4x0r3d myself and quoted the wrong post. It was meant to be #35. Ha! I am stupidhead!

 

[Mister Scruff]

I think my country has much to be proud of. Aside from fucking Scousers though. I hate them so much...

Oh, you...

 

[BigJim]

And don't forget the Hogwart's Motto (pardon me, but I'll forego the Latin): Never tickle a sleeping dragon!

That would be draco dormiens nunquam titillandus.

 

[BigJim]

And Brittain is also the home of the most incoherent system of measurement in the world.

You should have seen the currency we had until 1971, then!

There were 240 pence, 960 farthings, 20 bob and 80 threepenny bits to the pound!

Oh and we also had two different miles, both of which were much bigger than the kilometre.

 

[BigJim]

All three. We're just THAT hard.

Although no one area can agree that they’re not THE hardest, naturally.

I dunno. Fun to try though.

Given the nature of your average company of peasant infantry, you’d be stirring the prrige and getting sloppy seconds though.

No, if they did that she'd go over there to further her career in Hollywood, and like them better, then she'd never return and we'd be stuck without some old person taking all our tax money.

Bloody German immigrants, they come over here, take all our taxes...

Not that I’m a die-hard monarchist by any means, but the Civil List is a kinda pissy amount of money.

Is that some sort of Cornish prison language?

No, I invented that one. Or to be more exact, I nicked it from a video game.

Jackie Smith? Husband? Claimed pornos on her Westminster expenses?... Never mind.

I got the reference, just didn’t know what relevance it had.

No I'm not joking, I think I actually did. She even looked like Matt Lucas as well

Some people have no standards.

What do you call a Cornish pimp?...No seriously, I'm asking. I'm down there next month and it gets lonely

I dunno… Jethro?

 

[BigJim]

Aren't you all forgetting something?

I forget a lot of things.

 

[BigJim]

I’m sure no one has overlooked our crack military and the kilts as right proper formal military dress.
Right then!

It's a man's life in the modern army …

And of course kilts and cracks go together, if one does it traditionally.

 

[hollygolightly]

Things I love about Britain (I'm not British but i live here)

Stephen Fry
Emma Thompson
Yorkshire puddings
Full English
Radio 4
ppl on the escalator standing on one side
pancake day
my university
different accents, especially northern
all desserts
M&S food
topshop

I don't like...
high tuition fees
class system
lack of proper bread

 

[Mister Scruff]

lack of proper bread

Now see here, you: Warburton's is the best bread in the world. None of your doughy Yank shite for us, nosiree, nor any of that fancy gay bread that they eat on the Continent. No. Good old Warburton's. Bakers born and bred.

EDIT: Also "Dad's Army"

 

[InspectorJapp]

Where yours are world beaters of course. I gotta hand it to you though, one of your commentators is the most famous in all of broadcast history for getting just the tiniest bit excited when you beat us in the 70's.

The norwegian national team sucks big dangly donkeybits for sure, but our league is utter crap too, so that's to be expected.

And yes, Bjørge Lillelien was a great man:
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[InspectorJapp]

Quote from my newspaper: "Football is a simple game of 11 versus 11 and in the end the English win."

Which paper is that? "The drunken loon gazette"?

Let's count the great titles won by the english national team:
1. 1966 World Cup
2. Umm...

 

[Excess]

Brit sucks! Except for Rowen Atkinson. And Eddy Izzard. And James Bond. And women with good british accents, y'know, the sexy kind, not the claw your own ears apart kind. And everything that doesn't suck. But that stuff doesn't count because I said so.

 

[Artoo]

And women with good british accents, y'know, the sexy kind, not the claw your own ears apart kind.

They exist?

 

[Excess]

They exist?

They don't?