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Saddam Hussein Jokes

venray

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Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador.

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of $800,000.

Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to take off.

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-52

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck.

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
 
Yeah, Ray, good post. We damn sure could use a little mood-lightening.
 
After reading all of the threads on impending war and such..well...you know...

Ray
 
Last edited:
venray1 said:
[BQ: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck. [/B]

Hmmm....thought that would be the one everyone was flipping them.

Ann
 
venray1 said:
Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-52

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck.

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.


:blaugh:
 
NBC...

Had an article on the news tonight that the front line Iraqi troops were equipping themselves with civilian clothing and lots of white pieces of cloth. Think they have a plan in mind? :sowrong: Q
 
Sigh...

Why do people send me these things? And then I read them, and I think they're funny, and I post them here, and sometimes they stay funny, sometimes not...



"Going to war without France is like going duck
hunting without your accordion."
. . . . Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
. . . . Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
. . . . Rush Limbaugh

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida.
To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to
keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply
of mistresses in the house."
. . . . Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle
that was being advertised on eBay the other day:
-- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
. . . . Rep. Roy Blount (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've
proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
. . . . Dennis Miller

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that
exerted more of its national will fighting against
Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
. . . . Dennis Miller

"Raise your right hand if you like the French.
... raise both hands if you ARE French."
. . . . Old one

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam
Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves
mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people."
. . . . Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't
want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all,
France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."
. . . . Jay Leno

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German
Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?"
. . . . Old one

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it
came marching into Paris under a German flag."
. . . . David Letterman

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend
Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
. . . . Rep. R. Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer
France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
. . . . John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
 
May I join in?

Osama, The French Prime Minister, and Bush are walking along a deserted beach when they find a lamp they pick up the lamp and "clean it off" out pops a genie. Genie says I can grant you each a wish. The Prime Minister says -- I want peace for all of France and voila France became the most peaceful country in the world. Osama chimes up I want a wall built around Afghanistan so the infidel Americans can't harm me. And a stone wall was built around Afghanistan... The genie exclaimed this wall is the strongest there is! Bush thought a little and asked are you sure this wall is strong? "Yes this wall completely encompasses Afghanistant and NOTHING can get in or out"! Ok Bush said.. "Fill it with water"
 
*the news comes on and the bright, smiling face of a CNN weather girl appears*

Weathergirl: And here is the global weather report. Around this time next week, there will be a very large cloud over Baghdad and the temperature will me 3,000 degrees celsius.......
 
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