Areenactor
"...<I>she said tickling on the first date is acceptable.</I>..."
"Acceptable", got that; still seeking a slightly different answer. I'm wondering if it's a <I>requirement</I>. The goal is to meet, then hopefully date, and if everything works out perfectly (which it never does, I think you and I and everyone will admit) marry a member of the world-wide community.
(note, this will not be a six-week project)
Absent perfection, just dating a nice girl would be a tremendous improvement.
More to the point, is the absence of tickling on the first date a disqualification ? <B> Girls ? Opinions ? </B>Let your husband/boyfriend post if you need to. E-mail the moderators and they'll post under a fake name for you. (The moderators here are ok; they haven't landed in my back yard in a spacecraft so far.)
I just want to get a feel for the women's opinion: do you <B>have</B> to have it on the first date or not ? I know at least one girl for whom that answer was "yes" (and I am convinced she was a member of the community at large; this was long before the TMF) and I want to know if tickling a girl on the first date is a Round-1 qualification.
"...<I>no you can't rip off their clothes, or shoes and go crazy, </I>...
Awww, spoil sport ! What fun are you ? Go find a shrink to get over your Freudian repressed id ego and superego so that you can become liberated from your psychological whatever-it-is.
Really, I understand that much. My problem isn't in that direction, it's in the exact opposite. I think I'm probably too slow. I mean really, (and I'm asking the girls again) do you honestly want a guy tickling you the first time the two of you are alone together ? Sure it shows enthusiasm, but what about stability and leadership and self control and character ? Or am I being Freudian repressed or something again ? (Or maybe too old-fashioned ?)
"...<I> but a polite tickle is fine.</I>..."
Maybe the women here could offer a definition (and three examples each) of the word "polite" in that context. This is where I really get confused and a little more than just concerned; I get scared. With the wrong definition of "polite" in this context, a guy could scare away the perfect girl.
"...<I> why have a second date if you know she's a freak that doesn't like tickling?</I>..."
Hey there, I really <I>like</I> your phrasing and semantics ! Women who don't like tickling are <B>freaks</B>!! Now'yer'talking !
Anyway, back to the real topic; the reason to have the second (and third or fourth or fifth) date in those circumstances in multi-fold:
(A) While she and I may not have an ounce of passion or affection for each other, both of us have friends, and each of us can act as a very useful screen for the other. I hate the phrase "network dating" but in this case it does apply.
(B) Social Security: and I don't mean the government kind. Guys, we need to be seen in public with women in and around social events. There are more reasons behind this than I'm qualified to enumerate.
(C) Self-Esteem: No offense to the Moderators and people who make up this on-line community, but I'm not planning to sit in front of a computer screen with the TMF as the major focus of my life. It's important to have a real life, and if the girl isn't perfect, at least she's real. Many different contributions of material on the TMF are perfect, but they aren't real. Again, please don't anyone (mods or members) be offended, (especially Venray, as I want to see that entire photo set if you can ever find it).
The facts (at least for me) are that an occasional public presence with a girlfriend changes the whole functioning of a man's brain. I don't think I'm the only one like this.
(D) The psycho-physical importance of a real girlfriend: While tickling is a central interest for most of us in this community, there is still great value in just plain old holding hands and just holding each other and just sitting at the meal table with each other, and just being a boyfriend/girlfriend, and just, and just, and just,,,,, even it if never goes anywhere more than that.
(E) If you date a girl for a while, then stop dating her, you are available. Other girls do take notice; it's a wierd thing. If you don't ever date, the women won't even think of you, "yecch ! Him ???". After just three dates, your value magically increases in the eyes of other women by some strange mathematical formula that has never made any sense to me at all; but anyway, that's the way it seems to work from the way I've seen it.
