Serious Suggestion Required from TMF Family

[FAIS]

I'm completely straight in sexual orientation. All life I've only thought about LERing M/F. But off late I've had a brain freeze. It happened at work where I saw a male coworker tickling another male coworker. Now he's very strong and tall so the LEE is immobile laughing audibly and that's why the action caught my attention. This happens on and off at work. It made me worried initially that what if he tickles me ? He's thrice as strong as me and taller. He'd grip me and since I'm straight and Ler it will be embarrassing.

However he has up to now never approached me. And now I wonder why ? Somehow inside of me a Lee is waking up. I feel like approaching this guy myself and giving him a proposition of tying me up and tickling me up. Testing my limits. I want it because I want to feel what a combination of power of tickling can do to me. As a Lee I'm virgin and his hands are so big they can cover the entire width of my torso. BUT I'm LER & STRAIGHT

What should I do ??

 

[Libertine]

What should I do ??

Admit you're bi.

 

[robmic]

Jesus Christ Libertine, don't be such a homophobic! Maybe you're a closet bi yourself and too scared to admit it!
FAIS, in my opinion, I wouldn't fixate on that guy. 1, you both work in the same place and if he wanted to he could make your life at work a living hell, and 2, it's always better to keep your personal life and your work life separate. Just ask someone that had a workplace romance go bad! If being tickled is something that you think you want to try, find someone outside of work to tickle you. That way your livelihood will be secure.

 

[TMF Jeff]

Jesus Christ Libertine, don't be such a homophobic! Maybe you're a closet bi yourself and too scared to admit it!

How was what he said homophobic? My reaction was along those lines too.

FAIS, it sounds like you're realizing that you're not as gender-specific (or top/bottom specific) as you might have thought you were, which is completely fine.

I don't know that I'd approach that guy about tying you up, though, unless you're pretty confident of how it will be received.

 

[robmic]

How was what he said homophobic? My reaction was along those lines too.

Because it sounds just like the knee-jerk reaction of one! "Admit you're bi." Seriously? Come on! I'm not Bi or gay, but I hate seeing people bash someone that is just asking for some advice here.

 

[Hemmen]

Because it sounds just like the knee-jerk reaction of one! "Admit you're bi." Seriously? Come on! I'm not Bi or gay, but I hate seeing people bash someone that is just asking for some advice here.

That's fine, but your reaction was even more knee-jerk. On top of that, it was a personal attack. Libertine wasn't bashing anyone, he was encouraging the OP to look at himself honestly.

I thought the same thing as he and Jeff; why are you taking such offense at thoughts that aren't even directed at you?

 

[Myriads]

Sexual orientation and Fetish orientations can have independent and different orientations.

Thanks to the modern ideas of sexuality, where one is always thought to be all in one box or another, this causes problems. There is no way to designate the possible split for many people.

One can be sexually heterosexual, but have a non-gender specified fetish reaction. We are complicated creatures.

Myriads

 

[Wolf]

That's fine, but your reaction was even more knee-jerk. On top of that, it was a personal attack. Libertine wasn't bashing anyone, he was encouraging the OP to look at himself honestly.

I thought the same thing as he and Jeff; why are you taking such offense at thoughts that aren't even directed at you?

Libertine was assigning a label to someone ("Admit you're bi") based on his own perception. You think that wasn't personal?

 

[Hemmen]

I should have added: robmic's advice on the workplace was completely right. All other considerations aside, you should never mix your personal life with your job.

 

[a7hgsir4h3jk]

Sexual orientation and Fetish orientations can have independent and different orientations.

Thanks to the modern ideas of sexuality, where one is always thought to be all in one box or another, this causes problems. There is no way to designate the possible split for many people.

One can be sexually heterosexual, but have a non-gender specified fetish reaction. We are complicated creatures.

Myriads

On point!

Take me as another example: I know I'm not attracted to women. I have no desire to form a sexual or romantic relationship with another girl. Conversely, whilst I have no interest whatsoever in tickling girls or seeing them tickled, I wouldn't mind being tickled by one. Maybe you feel similar, OP.

It's also important to remember that whilst a person's actions may be influenced by their orientation, actions do not define orientation. For example, if a lesbian were to "play" with a man, that experience alone wouldn't necessarily make her attracted to men.

Admit you're bi.

I wouldn't jump straight into saying he's bi. As tempting as it may be to speculate, we can't exactly go around pointing fingers and saying, "you're straight/gay/bi because I say so". It's up to the OP what he wishes to identify as in terms of sexual orientation.

 

[Hemmen]

On point!

Take me as another example: I know I'm not attracted to women. I have no desire to form a sexual or romantic relationship with another girl. Conversely, whilst I have no interest whatsoever in tickling girls or seeing them tickled, I wouldn't mind being tickled by one. Maybe you feel similar, OP.

It's also important to remember that whilst a person's actions may be influenced by their orientation, actions do not define orientation. For example, if a lesbian were to "play" with a man, that experience alone wouldn't necessarily make her attracted to men.



I wouldn't jump straight into saying he's bi. As tempting as it may be to speculate, we can't exactly go around pointing fingers and saying, "you're straight/gay/bi because I say so". It's up to the OP what he wishes to identify as in terms of sexual orientation.

Props for giving a well thought-out answer instead of just shouting "homophobe."

Having said that, might I suggest that it wasn't necessarily a case of "because I say so." It's still possible for some to be confused or in denial about their orientation. I can't say the OP is either of those things, but is it something they might want to consider?

 

[FAIS]

Oh wow !! There's a debate going on. It accurately reflects the debate which has been going on in my mind since so long. I finally gave up and decided to post here. Good to see admins giving their feedback too along with everyone else. I don't mind any of it. I'm just going to soak it and see where it leads me to.

Let me move it a little forward please. While I don't feel sexually attracted to this man I really want to experience getting tickled past limit by him. Not any other man just him only because of his power and built. But tickling only and solely. However I can't promise I'd not be erect while going through it that I admit. However think of sex with him and it's a turn off. Complexity !!!

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

My advice. It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is. You can sort that out over time. But if you approach this guy and make the proposition, I don't see that ending well. There's no way to do that without coming across as gay or bi, which I'm assuming you want to avoid.

This guy who tickles his male co-workers probably doesn't have the fetish. He probably sees tickling as an easy way to brighten up the office doldrums and hasn't thought through the potential for termination for the kind of harassment known as "hostile work environment." In short, this guy is a Human Resources tickling time bomb.

If you make your proposition to him as you've described, he'll likely think, "OMG, this guy gets turned on by tickling and he wants ME to dominate him!! EWWWWW!!!"

This is a case in which honesty is not the best policy. You want this guy to tickle you, become his best friend. While you are in his vicinity, put yourself in vulnerable positions that invite tickling. Like reaching up for something on a shelf high on the wall. When he's in earshot, maybe tell a story of a massage you got that tickled like crazy, emphasizing your extremely low tolerance. Ask him to scratch your back, and then start to squirm a little when he does.

There are lots of possibilities. Use your imagination.

Good luck!

 

[Sensualswitch10]

A lot of well reasoned responses here. As a lifelong ler who learned to be a lee in his twenties, I would echo the sentiment that FAIS give leeing a try. And being tickled / ticklish is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a natural response. And perhaps FAIS, you just have a little "man crush" on your large dominant office mate. Many straight men including myself develope a strong feeling of admiration for another man that has no sexual connotation. Sounds like that may be what you've got going on. And if it doesn't end up coming to fruition with said gentleman, I'd still recommend trying it with a lady. You might be surprised at the stimulating power of being tickled!

 

[Vanillaphant]

Interesting thread this.

I’m no expert on the matter, but certainly my assumption was that fetishistic desires don’t always accord with one’s sexual orientation. So I wouldn’t worry about labels as far as that stuff’s concerned.

The fact that your co-worker is male may be significant… then again, it may not. As an outsider looking in, one can only speculate obviously, but it sounds to me like it’s the lack of control (or the prospect of it) which is exciting these desires. In this case the element of control is based in physical strength… But, to get hypothetical for a moment, could it not just as easily have been a female co-worker, whose element of control came from, say, her senior position vis-à-vis you? My feeling is that it’s not so much about your co-worker as a person as what he represents symbolically. But like I say, that’s just speculation. 

Either way, I don’t think it’s anything to be worried about. Probably something to be excited about, if anything. Something to explore further, no doubt.

 

[Hemmen]

I think robmic made the best suggestion, so I'll quote it:

FAIS, in my opinion, I wouldn't fixate on that guy. 1, you both work in the same place and if he wanted to he could make your life at work a living hell, and 2, it's always better to keep your personal life and your work life separate. Just ask someone that had a workplace romance go bad! If being tickled is something that you think you want to try, find someone outside of work to tickle you. That way your livelihood will be secure.

That's really the most important consideration here. Don't lose sight of it in all the talk about orientation, labeling or the nature of the fetish.

 

[FAIS]

My advice. It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is. You can sort that out over time. But if you approach this guy and make the proposition, I don't see that ending well. There's no way to do that without coming across as gay or bi, which I'm assuming you want to avoid.

This guy who tickles his male co-workers probably doesn't have the fetish. He probably sees tickling as an easy way to brighten up the office doldrums and hasn't thought through the potential for termination for the kind of harassment known as "hostile work environment." In short, this guy is a Human Resources tickling time bomb.

If you make your proposition to him as you've described, he'll likely think, "OMG, this guy gets turned on by tickling and he wants ME to dominate him!! EWWWWW!!!"

This is a case in which honesty is not the best policy. You want this guy to tickle you, become his best friend. While you are in his vicinity, put yourself in vulnerable positions that invite tickling. Like reaching up for something on a shelf high on the wall. When he's in earshot, maybe tell a story of a massage you got that tickled like crazy, emphasizing your extremely low tolerance. Ask him to scratch your back, and then start to squirm a little when he does.

There are lots of possibilities. Use your imagination.

Good luck!

I really Like your advice. And I'm going to follow it in letter & spirit. You are right totally.

 

[FAIS]

I think robmic made the best suggestion, so I'll quote it:



That's really the most important consideration here. Don't lose sight of it in all the talk about orientation, labeling or the nature of the fetish.

Oh He men & Robmic Thank You very much

 

[TKLVR18]

I think the problem that you may be having here, FAIS, is that you may not be in this for the tickling or the sexual connotations but the humiliation-related ones. A guy can be completely straight and like the idea of being tickled by a strong, inescapable guy (as you've brought that up several times) for the unadulturated helplessness and embarrassment of it (I can think of one friend of mine straight off the top of my head that's like that!). It doesn't necessarily mean you're sexually attracted to him, just the helplessness.

I'm something of an anomoly myself when it comes to tickling. I'm sexually attracted to the idea of lerring. As a 'lee the attraction isn't particularly sexual in nature, it's the feeling of playful yet safe bullying and humiliating taunting that come along with it that helps me be able to 'let go' so to speak and switch my brain off. But I'm different in that respect than 99% of our people, and people are always trying to make it about sex for me because that's their frame of reference. I think something similar may be happening here.

~K

 

[robmic]

Oh He men & Robmic Thank You very much

Just watching out for ya man. Hate to see someone's life turned upside down by doing something that's not the wisest choice.

 

[Oddjob0226]

Jesus Christ Libertine, don't be such a homophobic!.

How does it even indicate a phobia, though?

 

[TKLVR18]

Okay guys that's enough back and forth on the homophobe controversy, a Community member is asking for our help. This isn't the time nor place.

As for what to do about your situation, because I failed to mention my thoughts on that earlier--first figure out what you want. You wanna take a risk on some workplace fun and see if he'll go after you, wait for him to do it again and then just mutter something to the tune of, "fuck I don't think I could handle that" around him. If he's picking on this other guy often, chances are he'll get 'that look' in his eye and go straight for you xD

If you wanna play it safe then don't do anything and enjoy watching it from afar. Personally I'd get butterflies and a quick adrenaline kick watching it, so I'd probably enjoy just that much x)

~K

 

[Oddjob0226]

Okay guys that's enough back and forth on the homophobe controversy, a Community member is asking for our help.

A community member had a suggestion on the subject and another one just made up something puzzling about the suggestion, ref.

Without clarification, that's going to make people less inclined to ask questions or offer suggestions here, and still leaves me confused as to the meaning.

 

[marvelsm]

Well FAIS I would consider professional help before going any further in this also someone said keeping the workplace for work only seems a good idea.

 

[foot fun]

"Either you suck dick or you do not suck dick" Not that there is anything wrong with that...