So..who is excited for NEST?!

[texastickler]

Hey. With all this great battle talk going on I just have one question. Can I write the story when it is over?

 

[Soda Bobinski]

Slacker needs to shut up unless he wants me to punch him in his dick maw.

what's a dick maw?

What's left of his nads after we slaughter them.

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6Ft2knqarAU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6Ft2knqarAU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

 

[Soda Bobinski]

...Amnesty International is going to flip their shit when they hear what ended up happening to you.

You have absolutely no idea. Last time you got a pass because you were a rookie SAM. This time you're getting what's known as the "full rhino."

After getting caught up with Skippy and Lily's blowhole-flapping, all I have to say is I'm very much looking forward to showing them the "love" next week. You two will NOT be spared this time around.

Shut your gaping, dingleberry-encrusted beard. I'll show your face love...WITH MY FIST!! >:] Then afterwards we'll all settle around a nice bonfire fueled by all of your Steelers shirts.

NEST 2011: The Breaking of Slacker's Gathering Spirit

Wife he has so much Steelers shit. We can burn everything. His house will be bare as shit.

1. Even a threat to my Steelers stuff is punishable by death, which is obviously your goal anyway.

2. My beard is POWER and your jealousy is ugly.

3. The only thing that's going to get broken at NEST 2011 is your hand from when you punch me. After that, you're going down. Hard. And in flames. Literally.

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bHKClRKMSW8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bHKClRKMSW8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

 

[Soda Bobinski]

That reminds me...will there be chances of a Shark attack next weekend? If so, I'm turning Lily into chum since I'm sending her home in a bucket anyway.

Yeah, they sure taught me and Rhino a lesson that day.

I seem to remember my wife smacking the shit out of the rhino. That woman never stops being ferocious.

Correction: she slapped the shit out of YOU! She slapped Rhino once and he laughed at her. Most likely because of how weak the slap was.

Um, you were hiding all the way on the other side of the room. It was clear you wanted no part of her fury. I, on the other hand, was right there and saw the whole thing. She slapped the horn right off his face, and he was both stunned and frightened by the entire ordeal.

Uh, no. I was sitting on the edge of the bed closest to you. That's not hiding. Not to mention, I drove her into that state of fury after making her yell she wanted to divorce you. I made the monster and you suffered for it. I won.

You were keeping your distance. I saw it. Don't be embarrassed. Everyone learns to fear IFD in their own time.

How did I suffer? My Wife and I have continued to lead a beautiful and happy life together with our gorgeous 13. I haven't suffered a bit.

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vGY8fyLrXMk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vGY8fyLrXMk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

I pulled her off you...TWICE. But she couldn't get enough of beating you. But it's ok, Lyz. Battered Wife Syndrome is a horrible thing and most often the victim is unaware of how bad it is. Be strong, Skippy. And get help.

You interrupted our foreplay, you mean. Wife can slap me in the face any day

It's not fun to watch. In fact, it'll never be any fun until she kicks you in the tits and rips off your face with her bare hands.

Never happen. She is devoted to me in only the purest of ways.

Kinda like how I'm devoted to making her so crazy this time, she bites off your kneecaps and lovingly disembowels you? I get that.

LOL You're welcome to try, but my wife will undoubtedly prevail. She knows your tricks and is prepared to defeat you at all costs. FEAR IFD!!!!

LOL You're welcome to try, but my wife will undoubtedly fail. She knows she can't win and is prepared to suffer another crushing defeat at your hands. NO FEAR OF IFD!!!!

I fixed all your spelling errors. You should be more careful.

 

[Soda Bobinski]

For Slacker, my fist is that of a giant, spiked, hardened diamond covered in nails and tacks. And I'm going to pound and "massage" his face with it.


Oh...oh I'm sorry. Did I say burn? I guess I'll use them instead to clean my toilet and wipe Walter's butt after he takes a Walter-sized dump.


Oh ho ho ho. I think NOT. I'm throwing crabs in your beard.


LOL Sometimes it takes IFD a few rounds to really show the stubborn ones the error of their ways.


Well I'm certainly glad you're finally coming around to that fact. It took you long enough you douchy Beard.


Thank you wife for the props.


You obviously couldn't see his face then. His lip was quivering and their was fear in his rhino-y eyes.


He clearly missed when after it snapped off, I had slapped so hard the horn stuck into the wall like a ninja star.

I hope you get your meds refilled before Thursday. I want you to be 100% certain your ass was thoroughly kicked so we don't have to deal with you and Cookietits' insane delusions.

Denial is a common reaction to your fearful, anticipating bearded head.

I'm sorry, did you say something? I was just picturing the look on your mug when you wake up from getting wrecked and seeing THOSE two faces leering down at you.

That's it. I'm setting your Beard on fire.

And with that on the table, I do believe it's gametime in 6 days!!!

Dear IFD,

TJM will be physically apart this year. If needed,
and time permitting, and Miss Lee permitting, I might
be able to provide some back-up assistance.

Love,
The Manda half of TJM.

IFD would be thrilled to have a beautiful and ferocious special guest such as yourself

So instead of three shit-talking failures, there'll be four?

I just realized you called us failures. No, I will not
be a 4th shit-talking failure. But if I participate, I
would most definitely be an asset. That's grown-up
talk for WIN, Mr. Beard. ^_^

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_hHDxlm66dE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_hHDxlm66dE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

 

[Soda Bobinski]

Awwwwwww, your 10-year old mentality is trying to talk like big people. How cute!

And anyway, as pitiful as the IFD is, your help would be about as useful as imfailer's would be.

I do believe that she is the female Imfailer... Or, dare I say it, "femfailer."

I keep having this image of Slacker & Rhino standing having a calm conversation with each other, while this pile of women keep trying to take them down, but the two men are pretty much not even noticing...

I will have you know that only 6 short months ago it was Wife and I who stood calm and strong while the boys stood anxiously in our doorway, wanting to attack the vicious and mystifying pair but unsure how to proceed for several minutes before we finally led them by the hands, all sweaty from nervousness, into the "get down to business" room for a short lesson on how to get it done. Unfortunately we had to take the part of the pwnees, but we were happy to do it - for educational purposes, you understand.

Izzat a fact? So when you two had your eyes bugged out of your head when Rhino and I walked in the room, that was standing "calm and strong"? Or was it when you were trying to make hasty plans to run past us out of the room? Or could you have been "calm and strong" when you were begging Rhino not to drag you off the couch while I had Lily draped over one shoulder, with her screaming "OH SHIT!! OH SHIT!!!"?

And let us not forget that after "getting down to business", the only ones who got an education were you two shit-talkers. Granted, the lesson was poorly learned, but Pete and I are benevolent educators and are more than happy to re-educate you.

By the way, let us not forget it was your third member, your beloved 13, who happily and with no coercion on our parts, unlocked the door to your room and let us in. The IFD definition of unity is very suspect.

....

Our memories of these events seem to be somewhat inconsistent. Since there's really no way to know who's correct, we'll have to bring in an impartial third party to be the deciding vote. I'll ask Wife

He's such a dumb Beard. Of COURSE we had to lead their sweaty 4 fingered hand and rhino arm trunk respectively. I was playing the Jeopardy theme song in my head while they stood in the doorway breathing all heavy. And don't think I would forget having to actually touch his fingerless stump.

Obviously a Beard bonfire wasn't good enough for you. I'm also giving what's left of it a swirly in a used toilet afterward. Once this weekend is over you truly will have a dingleberry encrusted Beard.

No matter what you say anymore, as soon as I see your name, I'm going to be picturing those two faces leering down at a helpless you.

Don't think I'm beyond going into your hotel room and throwing your clothes out a window. And I'm putting Nair in your Beard-shampoo bottle.

We'll see who's leading who in a few short days, Meat.

I thought you wanted impartial, not delusionally biased. Let's ask Bella. She's impartial. BELLLAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a bit confused, what are we deciding? Surely there's no real debate as to whether our Lily and Skip were reduced to babbling-yet-attractive lumps of sodden defeat last November, I saw the aftermath and it looked as though they'd both run all the way to Ohio. With their luggage. In the rain. Rhino and Slacker seemed a trifle flushed as though some exertion was involved, like maybe they'd opened a few jars of pickles or something....does that help?

And there you have it. Impartial Mod is impartial.

Dibs on what's left of IFD when it's all over.

You're going to end up with a small burlap sack containing the following:

1. A couple bedraggled scraps of blaze orange fabric.

2. A few long strands of raven-colored hair.

3. The barely-recognizable ear of a Care Bears hoodie.


Enjoy.

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ARy1PR1VAkg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ARy1PR1VAkg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

 

[Soda Bobinski]

As the TMF's resident exprt in FAIL, you and your wife have exceeded even my abilities in this area.......carry on....

You just called yourself the TMF's resident expert in fail. No one will ever fail harder than that.

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9Jz1TjCphXE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9Jz1TjCphXE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

 

[BrightEyes1082]

That was pretty much the most retarded sequence of "comebacks"
I've ever read. And I've read some retarded shit. Allow me to build
you a moving sidewalk.

 

[TropicThunder]

<object width="480" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9Jz1TjCphXE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9Jz1TjCphXE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="390"></embed></object>

this made my night.

 

[slacker2114]

That was pretty much the most retarded sequence of "comebacks"
I've ever read. And I've read some retarded shit. Allow me to build
you a moving sidewalk.

Nothing could ever beat the retarded shit you've written though.

 

[tkltkltkl91]

when is it?

 

[Korastus]

when is it?

This week.

 

[Cavum]

Got to start packing today!
4 days left! Yey!

 

[Soda Bobinski]

That was pretty much the most retarded sequence of "comebacks"
I've ever read. And I've read some retarded shit. Allow me to build
you a moving sidewalk.

lol No , no ... don't look at those posts as "comebacks" of any sort.

Just a ... chronicling of some of the Kombat that has taken place in this thread.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Nothing could ever beat the retarded shit you've written though.

 

[paracarl44]

^ I think we need some to go along with the .^

 

[carol8961]

4 days!!! Yeah!!!!! Can't wait to see everyone!

 

[BrightEyes1082]

We did so much work yesterday, and neatly packed up
Miss Lee's car last night. Labor of love. I was so exhausted,
and still am because my douchebag roommate kept his TV
blaring (and snoring blaring) until 3:30am. But now I'm
making Easter dinner, and Jeff and Blossom are on their
way, and life is good. Except for Pete and Brent because

 

[RobAce]

As the leader of "The Union" I must say that I haven't seen such brazen tomfoolery (YEAH I USED IT) ever in my life. Therefore I have instructed "The Union" to provide all necessary comforts including snacks, sammiches, and dollars for Brent and Pete. And as much as I may adore IFD and as their Cabana Bob...I can not provide any support only condolences for their impending doom. As the spokesman for "The Union" I have been authorized to make the following statement:

In the course of human events there have been many tragedies in the world. Most of this with little or no warning, and the victims of these tragedies had not a thing to do about them. However, for the first time in our history we shall see devastation on an unimaginable scale that was actually asked and in most cases begged for. Therefore we as "The Union" in advance of this event pledge no support to IFD. We will only laugh, point and perhaps dance. Also, we may ask for some of the whine they will indeed be spouting to have with our cheese. Thank You.

Rob

PS. Mondy....don't you have something else you will be doing? I can ensure that.

 

[slacker2114]

Victory has NEVER been yours.

 

[texastickler]

^ I think we need some to go along with the .^

Amen Carl. This is getting better by the minute.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

OMG! Only a few more days! I got a haircut, I am almost done packing and I have my bag of tricks ready. I only have a few things left to do. I'm so glad I got most of it done over the weekend.

 

[MrTicklee]

I'm not the only one who gets excited about "bags of tricks", am I?

 

[natural tickler]

3 days until the IFD is destroyed....services for them can begin NOW

 

[natural tickler]

that case is flawed, because you cannot admit to no such fail happening....I do not FAIL tyvm

only imFAILer fails like that