Sorry people, just had to post this

[revolter]

I just felt like telling what's been taking me down for the last few months, and what better place than here, in a community?

I'm on the edge of having a mental breakdown, I'm even considering suicide, but I haven't found the 'courage' to go over to the act yet. My mom died last year and my life has been a hell ever since. Not that my family is to blame or anything, far from it. It's just that this lack of motherly affection slowly got the best of me. On top of that, every time I like a girl, she ends up ripping out my heart and cutting it to pieces. Not even one of them realising the impact of what they just did. My friends try to comfort me, but nothing helps. Considering my young age ( I'm 18 ), I really think I have a problem, but I don't want to go to a psychiatrist.

Just had to get that of my chest, I'm sorry I wasted some of your precious time.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

You aren't wasting anyones time here. I applaud your courage in stating where you're at. There was a time when I considered ending my life. (I didn't even recognize it until I found myself on the edge of a cliff looking for a spot to jump where trees wouldn't break my fall.) I felt that the pain would never end and that I'd never be able to find joy. I also, in part, was thinking that it would make those who'd hurt me sorry for their actions.

In the end, I realized that they weren't in charge of my life. I am. So, I turned all that anger and pain into a different kind of "I'll show you!" I made it work for me rather than letting it destroy me. Today, I'm happily married and love my life. That never would have happened if I'd ended it.

I understand your reluctance to see a psychiatrist. It took me a long time to accept that I needed help from someone too. There's nothing wrong with needing help...only with needing it and not looking for it. Your post here is a first step in reaching out. Even if you don't get a psychiatrist right away, find someone you can talk with. Having some sort of support is a big help. In the meantime, I for one am willing to listen.

Ann

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Don't you be sorry!!! That's what the community is for, to support each other.

I personally have never been in a situation as bad as yours, but whenever something bad happens, the best thing is always to find someone to talk to. A psychiatrist, a relative, a friend, just someone to talk to. It is hard to do, but once you start, all the pain and hurt inside seems to pour out with ease. Get it off your chest, and I'm sure you'll lose the suicidal thoughts.

We're here for you, Revolter. I know you can pull through.

 

[venray]

You have found the right courage, friend. You spoke about your feelings to your friends here. It does not take courage to end ones life, but the total lack of it.

Keep talking to us here, to your friends and family when you can...If it gets too much to bear, seek professional guidance. It is not a matter of being too old or too young....and you have wasted no one's time.


Email or PM me any time you like if you need to talk or vent or anything at all.

[email protected]


Ray

 

[jordan]

I'm even considering suicide

This is something you shouldn't even think about, killing your self doesn't solve problems. It creates more, I don't know if your a God fearing man or not so I won't go down a riligious road with you. Lets say you killed yourself, who really suffers? It would be your whole family, they would moran you and they would ask questions like "Was there something I could have done?" Or, "why did he have to die, he was so young?" And than we could start the whole cycle over again, one sucicide after another. I understand what you are going through, I've lost nearly my entire family. Thats whats wrong with being adopted to an older family, people die way too soon in my life. Sense I came to live at the Littles, when I was 5months old I've have been to 10 funerals, the last was my best friends. I miss him so much, but I never wanted to kill myself, in fact his death brought me closer to God. Its strange how though. Everyday I think of him and how much he suffered, as I bet you do your mom. Listen suicide is not the answer you are going to have to find a new way to go about things. Move to a new state, get new friends, stop thinking about your mom. (Don't forget her, just don't keep pondering over her.) The only way you are going to get better is if you take it slow, little by little. You are 18, you have a full life ahead of you.

 

[BigJim]

Suicide is pointless Revolter, especially as you want to live. If you didn't you would'nt have posted here. MY God, but I know what you're feeling because I went through something similar in my mid-late teens.

whatever it is you're feeling and suffering from, there are others who know what you feel like my friend. Please e-mail me if you want to talk as I'd be more than happy to listen and suggest.

 

[jordan]

Uh revolter listen, if you have something you really want to say, and are a bit shy about it. Email me at...

[email protected]

I'll be happy to listen.

 

[jordan]

You see? People care, I didn't even know Bigjim asked you to email him before I sent a message.

 

[kurchatovium]

Please don't commit suicide revolter. I now things are rough now but in time things will get better. There may be a whole bunch of good stuff down the road aways for you if just see things through. If you need to talk just email me at [email protected] . Hope I have been helpful to you.

 

[MadKalnod]

I can understand your reluctance to see a psychiatrist, having been in the same position, but I must urge you to do so nonetheless. I doubt you'd hesitate to see a medical professional if you suffering from a broken bone or a haemorraging wound, and you shouldn't in this case either.

Mental Illnesses like depression are not the kind of thing you can home-cure or leave unattended. While the emotional stresses you cite are no doubt signifcant factors, sometimes you need an expert to determine if there aren't physical causes as well. All the positive thinking in the world won't help if there's a genuine medical problem such as a neurochemical imbalance involved. I've learned first hand that stresses in the mind can have a profound effect on the body, and treating the body can often help heal the mind.

Don't be afraid of seeing a counselor; they deal with problems just like what you're facing six times before breakfast and can tell you how to get through it. Don't be afraid of anti-depressant medication, should it be prescibed, as it can be an invaluable tool in helping you do the work you need to do to get better. I'm not saying to get fitted with an IV drip of Zoloft first thing, mind you; I'm just saying not to be alarmed at the prospect. There's a certain social stigma attached to mental illness, and you seem to be feeling uneasy about seeking treatment because of that, but I find that thinking of it as just another medical condition can overcome that unease. I wasn't a lesser person because I needed to take Prozac for my depression any more than my brother is somehow unworthy because he needs to take a battery of medicines for his liver; and you shouldn't feel that seeking help for your condition is a sign of weakness either.

I won't lie to you, even with all those tools it can still be a long and difficult process to get better. I still have bad days and all the old negative thoughts come bursting back to the front of my mind again. The thing is, because of what I read and learned to do during the time I saw a counselor and took the medication, I can usually have these feelings beaten back into submission within a day, sometimes even hours.

The path is long and it insn't easy, but it does go on, and you shouldn't be afraid to follow it.

 

[ticklishbbw]

I can relate

Revolter,

Take it from someone who has been exactly where you are, you need to talk with a professional. I know your profile says belgium, but I'm sure this is the same as in the states, consider seeing a counselor, or psychologist, instead of a psychiatrist. It is generally a more relaxed atmostphere. Even if you go only once, it will make you feel better.

What the others have said is correct, suicide is not the answer, but what you are feeling is a very valid emotion. I have been through something similar, death of a close family member, nasty breakup of a relationship ...and had the exact same feelings. I talked to a counselor, talked to a couple of close friends, and I worked through it. It took a lot of time, and it wasn't easy, but each day it got better.

You're too young to give up yet (not that any age is a good age), try to find something to take your mind off of it, something that you enjoy doing. Don't let these incidents take over your life. A death in the family is a horrible tragedy, but the pain will subside. People who "rip your heart out," are a unfortunately a dime a dozen. Don't give them the satisfaction. They are not worth it. That is the lesson I had to learn as well.

Hang in there. If you need to chat or vent you can email me at [email protected] Take care

Debbie

 

[Limeoutsider]

Drop me a line anytime, [email protected] or AIM at spookysaint121.

 

[nosforatiop]

Hey bro! Whatever's getting you down don't let it take over your life! More importantly don't let it take your life. Death of a loved one is tough to deal with I know, I'm sure there is more involved then what your telling, and noone can completeley understand your take on the situation except you, I would urge you like the others to seek some professional help. Or at least call this number when you feel you can't go on: 1-800-784-2433, It's a hotline particularly aimed toward those considering suicide. Please also consider this: How would it effect your loved ones? What would your loved ones who have passed on want for your life? By taking your life you are destroying something that your mother strove to build.

God Bless.

 

[revolter]

Wow, thx for all the support, I knew I came to the right place. I vented my anger yesterday and I'm starting to feel a little bit better ( don't worry, no one got harmed in the process ).

As for doing something to change my mind, Tae Kwon Do will soon start again and so is soccer season. 2 perfect ways to vent your anger ( especially soccer, it's competitive for a reason ).

Again, thx all for the kind words.

 

[Dave2112]

Dude, I ain't gonna candy-coat this for ya. I have scars on my wrists that I have to live with for the rest of my life, and they're always fun to try and explain. The hard part about feeling the way you do is how you come across to other people, if you mean to or not. People are gonna pick up on these things. Sooner or later, before you know it, you're going to wind up having something done to you that you don't like.

Now, why would I go and say something like that? To try and get you to take control yourself. Progress is ALWAYS more effective when it is self-initiated. I'm not a big believer in psychiatry as an exact science, but I am in NO WAY going to tell you to avoid professional help. I'm at a point in my life where I can deal with the issues in my life, but it took me along time to get there and I leaned on innumerable people along the way.

The death of a family member can mess with your head and your perceptions for a long, long time. After I lost my son, I was a wreck. Seven years later, I still fall apart from time to time, but I've accepted things. Don't try and find a way to make everything all better all at once. Take a day at a time. "Today, I'm gonna stay together. I'll worry about tommorow when it comes." It sounds stupid, but it helps.

Lean on your friends, lean on your relatives. You'd be surprised who really cares about you when you need them. And as far as girlfriends go, let me give you some serious advice that you may not want to hear. Stay out of relationships for awhile. How long? As long as it takes. You are the only person who should matter to you right now. You don't need another person to justify your existence. On top of that, you could wind up ruining a potentially good relationship if you're not prepared to give into it what you must. You are not prepared right now.

You're 18, bud. You have all the time in the world. This is a friggin' TOUGH age, man. Everything seems messed up and you're not sure what a lot of your emotions even mean. THIS IS NORMAL!!! Welcome to adulthood, my friend. I'd like to say it gets easier, but it doesn't. What does get easier is how you deal with things. Situations that used to rile me up or depress me ten or fifteen years ago don't even get my heartrate up now. And so it will be with you.

Make an appointment to just talk with someone. Do it today. Take that step, then worry about the next one. Let us know how things go, we're here for ya.

 

[BigJim]

As for doing something to change my mind, Tae Kwon Do will soon start again

Damn, I need to get back intraining. Soooooo close now. I'm a 1st kup.

Anyway mate, like Dave I've got scars to show my battles with depression and they're NEVER fun to explain, especially when you work in an atmospher that is high-stress anyway.

You EVER want a private chat mate, just click on the tab at the bottom of this post.