The art of bringing up a massage

[SpiritBomber]

Hello! I was wondering if anyone had any advice about or knew how to bring up the topic of foot massages with a friend? I have many female friends with very nice (often ticklish) feet that I would like to offer a friendly massage to. I even know for a fact that a few of them would probably greatly appreciate a foot massage, especially after work. However, I don't know how to approach the topic without coming across as creepy. I may be overthinking things, as I often do, but whenever I visualize the scenario my imagination always turns to the worst case scenario.

 

[COOLCAT88]

Ask them " Hey, you have pretty feet, so can I massage them?"

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[SpiritBomber]

Yeah... That direct approach seems a little... TOO direct.

 

[COOLCAT88]

Honesty is the best policy?

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[SpiritBomber]

I mean... you're not wrong. But like many, I'm not open about my interest in feet. So just saying "Hey, you have pretty feet. Want a massage?" Makes me think I'll get a negative reaction. Or at least like they'll view me as a weirdo. A bad kind of weirdo. They already think I'm a good weirdo lol

 

[COOLCAT88]

How friendly are you with these female companions?

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[SpiritBomber]

It varies. Some are like family. Some are just good friends. A couple are friends that I've only known a short time. Many I've known for years.

 

[CapturedDoll]

For most people giving someone a massage is a sensual act of bonding.

But because you are not comfortable with your fetish for feet... at least as far as communicating that aspect to people... you NEED to learn how to be comfortable FIRST. You can't expect your friends to engage in the activity you want just because its under the guise of a friendly massage. You know its more than just friendly. And you are risking losing these friendships.

You need to find a girlfriend. If you want one of these friendships to turn into a relationship or say a "friends with benefits" type scenario... you need to put in the work first to get to that step.

Can't fly a plane if I asked you to... relationships are not that different.

 

[CapturedDoll]

I should add I've had a lot of men and women have asked to give me a massage over the years... not ONE of them was just to be friendly. And I knew it every single time. Simce I was probably 14. One in particular I let and as soon as it began I told him to stop. I just didn't want his hands on me. I wasn't attracted to him.

Looking at your profile I see you are a student. What you are trying to do is an Amatuer move. And a weak one. I don't say that to hurt you. Please don't take it that way. We all start as Amateurs. Im still one in some areas. But... this particular one women are already on to. I'm telling you straight up. And I gurantee you probably every single woman you are about to ask or would ask... has already been asked. You can still try it.., but... its seen as a sleazy, underhanded move by most women. A con if you will. Its better to be upfront. Or go through the regurlar stages of dating. Working up to intimate gestures.

 

[CapturedDoll]

Women who ARE interested in you will touch your hand, your arm. Laugh at most things you say. Smile a LOT. The woman that does THAT yes ask to give her a massage.

 

[SpiritBomber]

Looking at your profile I see you are a student. What you are trying to do is an Amatuer move. And a weak one. I don't say that to hurt you. Please don't take it that way.

Roll over. Try not to cry. Cry a lot. Lol just kidding. But yes I see what you mean. Im not the type that goes around creeping on girls or trying to pull any moves on them, weak or strong. Which, according to some is the reason I've never had a girlfriend. I'm working on it It just seems harder and more frustrating to not be an amateur when I don't have many of the basic building block experiences that everyone else seems to have to work with.

 

[CapturedDoll]

Roll over. Try not to cry. Cry a lot. Lol just kidding. But yes I see what you mean. Im not the type that goes around creeping on girls or trying to pull any moves on them, weak or strong. Which, according to some is the reason I've never had a girlfriend. I'm working on it It just seems harder and more frustrating to not be an amateur when I don't have many of the basic building block experiences that everyone else seems to have to work with.

I completely understand. And I'm so happy you didn't take what I said as demeaning. *phew* I've been sitting here on pins and needles waiting for your response.

Try this. Learn soon how to make a dish. Then say. Would you like to come over and have dinner with me? That shows interest without putting your hands directly on the person. Or... ask the person to go to a movie. (And don't look at your phone all night...) Its old school but it shows that you can ask for a date... while taking the pressure off the person. Hands on contact is extremly intimate. Remember theres a first move to get to... And thats holding someone's hand. That first touching of a persons hand sets off sparks like you woulden't believe. For you as well. Soon to be followed by a first kiss... not long after comes the massages... Its the natural way to get to the building blocks of intimacy.

 

[CapturedDoll]

To continue see I'm telling you to AVOID "the game". You would be rushing past the beginning blocks of forming intomacy if you asked for a massage. Every women looks forward to all of the firsts as do men. A first hand holding... a first kiss... a first hug. A first massage. Take it slow. Whats the rush?

 

[SpiritBomber]

I completely understand. And I'm so happy you didn't take what I said as demeaning. *phew* I've been sitting here on pins and needles waiting for your response.

Try this. Learn soon how to make a dish. Then say. Would you like to come over and have dinner with me? That shows interest without putting your hands directly on the person. Or... ask the person to go to a movie. (And don't look at your phone all night...) Its old school but it shows that you can ask for a date... while taking the pressure off the person. Hands on contact is extremly intimate. Remember theres a first move to get to... And thats holding someone's hand. That first touching of a persons hand sets off sparks like you woulden't believe. For you as well. Soon to be followed by a first kiss... not long after comes the massages... Its the natural way to get to the building blocks of intimacy.

I already have the dish covered. The 'student' on my profile is a bit outdated. Probably should update it. I worked as a cook for a couple years. So I'll try your approach. Also, I'd just like to state for the record that I am not a creep who was looking for an excuse to fondle women. I know you didn't say it, but I just don't want any misunderstanding. You and I have similar thoughts on relationships and intimacy, but I had been thinking that offering a massage might be an alternate route to a relationship. You know, since the traditional way hasn't worked out for me so far I appreciate your advice and I will do my best to use it properly

 

[CapturedDoll]

I already have the dish covered. The 'student' on my profile is a bit outdated. Probably should update it. I worked as a cook for a couple years. So I'll try your approach. Also, I'd just like to state for the record that I am not a creep who was looking for an excuse to fondle women. I know you didn't say it, but I just don't want any misunderstanding. You and I have similar thoughts on relationships and intimacy, but I had been thinking that offering a massage might be an alternate route to a relationship. You know, since the traditional way hasn't worked out for me so far I appreciate your advice and I will do my best to use it properly

Any time! Remember... everyone comes with their own natural chemistry. Everyone looks different. Everyone talks different. Everyones smells different. Pheromones come into play. Its kinda like we're all own music album. We play our album and if someone doesn't understand the music we wrote.., the arrangement of the music... its ok! We try the next person. And the next. Eventually we'll find the person whos meant to hear our music. And the song is sweeter for it. The fact your thinking about this and what you have said since your original post means your probably a good man. So... don't worry. Take the pressure off of yourself and enjoy letting different people hear your music. And writing new songs to add to your playlist. (Like cooking- thats awesome!) You are adding layers to who you are. Women love that. A multi facted human being is really awesome. Don't underestimate yourself and your own value. Theres a difference between self assured and over confident. You just need to become self assured. And your in the process of doing that.