Hello everyone!
Maybe a bit private to talk about, but I can't discuss this with many people, except my fellownians here
So I recently, after a long time, started dating someone. I was previously in 2 relationships. In both, I managed to have sex after a while, it just always took time til I was able to do it. In the first, I used no condom since my partner was using protection. In the second I always used a condom, but my partner helped me put it on, and also "masturbated" me very long before putting it on.
Well this has been a while ago, and now I met this awesome woman that I'm really in awe with. She is great, we have great times together, but I have not been able to maintain an erection so that it could lead to intercourse. It's still the beginning, and maybe I rushed it a bit too much, so for now, I don't try to have direct intercourse, but we just do different things, and she is fine with this too, as she anyway could not come by penetration, she told me.
What I notice is that she is not actively trying to "help", as my previous ex-girlfriend did, and she was (rightly so?) a bit insulted when I started masturbating myself after putting on a condom, and then not in the mood anymore for anything. Also she is still a bit reserved about the tickling thing, which I understand and respect. I'm allowed to touch her feet and lightly tickle them, but more I think would be inappropriate.
In the meantime I started working, and maybe the stress and stuff also changed my sexuality a bit, I'm not sure. I still masturbate and everything, with and without porn, so "anatomically" everything seems to be fine.
Anyway do you have any advice? Should I see a therapist specializing in sexual issues? Or should I just be patient and not put it in focus, at least for now?
Maybe its all a bit too private and in the wrong subforum, if so, I apologize. But like I said, only my best friend and my brother know of these issues in a way.
Thanks a lot!
Maybe a bit private to talk about, but I can't discuss this with many people, except my fellownians here
So I recently, after a long time, started dating someone. I was previously in 2 relationships. In both, I managed to have sex after a while, it just always took time til I was able to do it. In the first, I used no condom since my partner was using protection. In the second I always used a condom, but my partner helped me put it on, and also "masturbated" me very long before putting it on.
Well this has been a while ago, and now I met this awesome woman that I'm really in awe with. She is great, we have great times together, but I have not been able to maintain an erection so that it could lead to intercourse. It's still the beginning, and maybe I rushed it a bit too much, so for now, I don't try to have direct intercourse, but we just do different things, and she is fine with this too, as she anyway could not come by penetration, she told me.
What I notice is that she is not actively trying to "help", as my previous ex-girlfriend did, and she was (rightly so?) a bit insulted when I started masturbating myself after putting on a condom, and then not in the mood anymore for anything. Also she is still a bit reserved about the tickling thing, which I understand and respect. I'm allowed to touch her feet and lightly tickle them, but more I think would be inappropriate.
In the meantime I started working, and maybe the stress and stuff also changed my sexuality a bit, I'm not sure. I still masturbate and everything, with and without porn, so "anatomically" everything seems to be fine.
Anyway do you have any advice? Should I see a therapist specializing in sexual issues? Or should I just be patient and not put it in focus, at least for now?
Maybe its all a bit too private and in the wrong subforum, if so, I apologize. But like I said, only my best friend and my brother know of these issues in a way.
Thanks a lot!
