The Power of Vulnerability - TED Talk

[chicago]

If feelings, psychology, emotions, vulnerability, etc squick you, I urge you to click the back button now. I really do not wish for responses that are not constructive or useful.

With that said, I'm always interested in learning things that can lead to more happiness in life, less self-doubt, etc. This search takes up a very big chunk of my life and time, but I find it worth it. Last week, in my DBT class, the social worker / facilitator mentioned a woman Brene Brown and she has some really enlightening TED talks. I thought I would share here as I think there are some that may be able to get something out of it.

 

[chicago]

Another of her TED talks that I just finished watching is one that I think EVERYONE can learn from. Criticism and judgment are rampant not just here, but in day to day life and experiencing it can be tough, worse if it's coming from a mean-spirited place. She uses a great quote from Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" speech:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

 

[Wolf]

TED talks have some great stuff. One of my faves is the quickie about Starting a Movement.
Two things I wish I'd learned much, much earlier:
You're a lot stronger when you take off the armor,
and if you can't accept and love yourself, how can you really believe anyone else accepts and loves you?

 

[chicago]

TED talks have some great stuff. One of my faves is the quickie about Starting a Movement.
Two things I wish I'd learned much, much earlier:
You're a lot stronger when you take off the armor,
and if you can't accept and love yourself, how can you really believe anyone else accepts and loves you?

So much this. And like she says in the first video, vulnerability can lead to pain and disappointment and shame, but it also leads to love, compassion, and happiness and you can't numb the bad feelings without numbing the good ones. You have to radically accept vulnerability to start building inner strength, which seems like a dichotomy, but makes a ton of sense.

 

[TicklesXXX]

But sometimes you are very sad and with angst, with your self-esteem vanishing on your eyes... And still people that love you can help you feel better.

 

[chicago]

But sometimes you are very sad and with angst, with your self-esteem vanishing on your eyes... And still people that love you can help you feel better.

Of course, when you are in emotion mind it can be hard to do your own self soothing. For long-term consistent happiness though, I don't think you can let that depend on others all the time.

 

[Wolf]

So much this. And like she says in the first video, vulnerability can lead to pain and disappointment and shame, but it also leads to love, compassion, and happiness and you can't numb the bad feelings without numbing the good ones. You have to radically accept vulnerability to start building inner strength, which seems like a dichotomy, but makes a ton of sense.

Spot on.
I've always found that the strongest people don't deny their pain; they accept it, and in accepting it, they become more compassionate of others' pain, and in helping others, they help themselves, etc, etc, etc...
Emotional pain is very much like physical pain; you can't heal the cause of it if you don't admit there's pain in the first place. And vulnerability isn't just about acknowledging there's pain. It's about acknowledging you still can be hurt again, and accepting it.

 

[The Internet]

Don't know why I can't get the first one to play, but saw the second one, love TR (I wrote a song about him once!), love that speech.... I love how she says: "If you're going to create, you're going to have crap thrown at you", ha, how correct she is. Good to hear, and easy to forget.

To be fair, creative people can be some of the biggest critics -but at least they have a leg to stand on; people who don't enter the arena, let's see you do better!

 

[Ticklurk]

Brené Brown is a social work rockstar.

 

[chicago]

Yaaassss

 

[piyr]

Pretty wild that you posted this. I just spent the last few days listening to Ted talks. I'm doing a pretty mindless job right where I'm lucky that I can listen in the background while I'm doing my work. The one you posted sounds interesting. I'll give it a listen for sure. In the meantime, there are a few Ted Talks I like by Esther Perel. Good stuff.