The TICKLING RELATIONSHIP Thread

[Amnesiac]

The TMF is loaded with accounts of lee's and ler's in search of their complimentary partners, be it for fun or more. The problem is that this issue bothers many people but is not talked about directly.

For example, we have members who have met and hit it so far off the bat that not only are they fulfilled emotionally and sexually, but also TICKLINGLY as well. Take TummyDragon and ForeverRio, or Mimi and Lazarus...most of us can only dream of the kind of tickling debauchery that goes on behind the closed doors of these guys' homes. And best of all, in their cases, there's practically no pressure to perform because the interest on both sides is equal if not greater.

On the other hand, there are SCORES of people with the memory of having their spouse/GF walk out upon learning of their partner having a tickling fetish. Most of these unfortunate souls could probably convince their partner to hide a body or indulge in sexual acts like an "Alabama Crag Dangle", but mention the desire to tickle them, and they get the high steppin'; and people actually wonder why most of us don't mention our fetish up front to a prospective partner. The consensus viewpoint seems to say "Oh, you don't know how they're going to react until you tell them, and honesty is what a relationship needs!" when the experiences of many prove that outlook to be seriously flawed.

So, some people meet up and hit it off, but most of us gotta make it on our own in the mainstream world. But success stories have happened, and the successes and the failures both might help others gain guidance for finding their match in the world.

So, for everyone who has had a successful linkage and/or marriage with a(nother) ticklephile, or successfully integrated tickling into their relationship, write out how you met and how you handled the situation...as well as what factors you think helped in making it happen and work.

And, for everyone who has had a DISASTROUS attempt at integrating a relationship and tickling, whether divorce or just plain breakup, write out what happened and why...your pain may be a tool that can help someone else.

The ball is in your court people...help one another out!

 

[Strider]

Well,without getting too into graphic details here.My girlfriend and I are both freaks,sexually speaking.I mean that in a good way,to me,that's a complimentary term,so nobody take it personally.That's basically why we met to begin with,a mutual friend(also a bit of a freak,actually)introduced us figuring our combined freakiness would meld together perfectly to create even more freakiness.Anyway,she wasn't particularly into tickling and had never really thought of it as being sexual.So,I told her I was and gradually got her into it.Admittedly,from some of the things she was into to begin with,I had an easier time to start off with than some others might.Anyway,not sure if that helped any,if you need clarification or have any questions,let me know.

 

[Mimi]

Lazarus and I met online. At that time, he was checking out the different yahoo groups, the TMF, personal ads, chat rooms, etc. looking for that special someone to share his time with. Having an interest in tickling was not even a prerequisite. He just wanted a girl who was nice and had a few things in common with him. During one of his routine searches for potential correspondants, he decided to check out Josie's yahoo group member directory. In there, he found my name listed under members in Wisconsin. Being he was from Wisconsin as well, he decided to follow up on it further and check out my yahoo profile. He claims he about fell off his chair when he first saw my picture (I think he's over-exaggerating a tad ), and decided he had to email me right then and there.

When I first started receiving emails from Lazarus, I have to admit I tried steering him in a different direction. At the time I had been married for 10 years to a man whom I shared my only child with, and while it was anything but a happy marriage, it was safe and secure and I figured I was gonna be stuck in the relationship for the rest of my life anyway, so I had resigned myself to misery. Besides, I had tried my hand at hooking up with someone online on several occassions previously, and each one either remained platonic, fizzled immediately, or was a complete and utter bomb. Needless to say I had more or less given up all hope.

I tried to kindly send him on his way in the beginning, suggesting other single female friends I had online who I knew were looking for someone just as he was. He politely followed up on each suggestion, but kept coming back to me. Finally I figured "well, he's a nice guy. I suppose I can at least humor him and correspond with him through email. He lives within a few hours drive, so if nothing else, he could become a potential future playmate." So we did just that...corresponded through email. At first we wrote back and forth maybe once a week or so. But the longer we corresponded, the more we discovered we had in common, and the more we wanted to get to know one another futher. After about 2 months, we were emailing each other every day, and by that time had discovered we had nearly EVERYTHING in common. We were both amazed and thrilled with how well our correspondance was going online, so we decided to take it to the next step and set up a time and date for a phone conversation. Several days before it was scheduled to take place, I found myself sitting home alone one night (the hubby was at the races), and having nothing else to do, figured I give him a ring and break the ice. What happened next still amazes us to this day. What was intended to be perhaps a 15-20 minute "nice to finally hear your voice" conversation, actually turned into a 5 HOUR LONG non-stop blab-a-thon. There was not one second of dead air the entire 5 hours. We clicked on EVERY topic that was brought up. We laughed, we jumped up and down in excitement, we fought to speak over one another, and we both wore the same goofy grin plastered across our faces the whole time. At the end of our talk, we both knew if we did not meet face to face to explore this new found fascination with one another further, we'd burst. So we arranged for him to pick me up the very next morning to stay the weekend with him up at his place, 3 hours north from where I was currently living.

Neither of us will ever forget the moment we finally laid eyes on one another that next day. I had been sitting in my car waiting for him to pull in, when suddenly I felt someone bounce on my rear bumper. I looked up into my rear-view mirror to see this GORGEOUS guy dressed in all black wearing sunglasses, standing on the back of my car, peering through the back windshield at me with a cocked eyebrow and a cocky grin. My heart literally stopped beating for a second or two as the thought "OMG he's HOT!" raced through my mind. The next thought that entered was "Fuck, he's way too good for me. Once he sees me he'll never be interested." He came around the side of the car and poked his head into the drivers side window. I grinned up at him and said "I suppose you're dissapointed." He flashed a huge smile across his cute face and replied "Nothing could be further from the truth."

He followed me back to my place so I could grab my packed duffle bag and leave my car at home. In the driveway to my house, he cupped my face in both hands and gingerly kissed me right then and there. It caught me totally by surprise and he's damn lucky I did not pop him one across the face for doing it. Instead I made an excuse for us to hurry and get in his car and get on the road, so we did just that.

That whole first weekend was magic. Every touch / tickle / caress /look / conversation exchanged was pure magic, and I swear both of us were near spontaneous combustion by the sheer power of it all. We knew right away that there was no turning back. In each other we found what we had been searching for our entire lives and thought never existed: the perfect partner.

We spent a few more weekends with each other confirming what we already knew, and then I made arrangements to seperate from my husband. I didn't want to hurt him, but after 10 years of ignoring my own pain and unhappiness, I knew I could not go on living in our loveless marriage, and decided for once to do what made ME happy. The seperation and divorce was a very trying and painful experience, but all parties made it through unscathed and he is now living with his fiance and they are expecting their first child together in December.

Shortly after my ex and I seperated, Lazarus and I moved in together. We've had your typical ups and downs all couples experience when learning one anothers moods and dark corners, but we don't regret a single moment that brought us to where we are now. We plan to marry in 2006, and we're even more in love now then we were when we first met (which neither of us thought was possible).

As for what made it work, well, I think it was a lot of factors combined. There was so much more drawing us together than tickling alone. In fact, tickling just wound up being a bonus since we connected on so many other levels as well. We both wanted the same things from a potential partner and relationship. We wanted someone loyal and devoted (we were both in marriages with cheating spouses), someone warm and caring and adoring and affectionate and doting (we both had spouses who were totally against any displays of personal affection), we wanted someone playful and child-like at heart (we both had spouses who were very anti-play), we wanted someone who was at least in the same ballpark intellectually (we both had spouses who were lucky to complete 5th grade), we both wanted someone who would not only accept each of our children, but would treat them and love them as their own (I had one and he had 3 from our previous marriages - neither of our ex's were particularly loving parents), we wanted someone we had more than one or two things in common with (lazzy and I share damn near every interest we have together), and we both wanted to be with someone who could light that fire we had lost so long ago. And we fullfilled ALL of those things for one another. We literally fit together like a perfect puzzle.

It worked because we both made sacrifices and put forth an equal effort to make it a reality. You HAVE to be willing to do that if you're serious about finding a partner, regardless of the circumstances. But it CAN happen. Perseverance, my friends.

Of course, a little charm never hurt anyone either.

Mimi

 

[sincerity]

Has anyone ever been to a therapist who tried to cure this fetish, claiming it was hurting relationships, or a way of trying to hide from intamacy?

 

[Ayla ny]

Mimi, that was so beautiful. SO beautiful. thank you for sharing it. it made me cry!

yay yay YAY! for both of you!

 

[derkitzelnkonig]

Been to a therapist to cure this fetish?!? No way in the world I would want to ever go to a therapist to get rid of my fetish. I think it is what gives me flare. I guess if it was truly ruining my sex life, causing me to be lonely because no one would want to be a part of it then I guess I would consider but that aint the case, there are nice people out there that can tolerate it, dont mind it, and even enjoy it. I think if your partner really loves and cares about you they will accept what you like, let you do things you enjoy, and not hate you for it. Infact, I think if the person really really loved you they would consider being the one going to the therapist, most likely a hypnotherapist, to learn to get some enjoyment out of things you enjoy, not trying to make lose a part of you that adds some spice to the relationship.

 

[b0xr]

I have had this fetish we all seem to enjoy so much my entire life. I am 46 years old and married for 21 years..been together 26 years. I am strictly a tickler..not a ticklee. My wife was not into tickling at all for most of our marriage but she is starting to come around to my way of thinking in regards to tickling. I think it's been my persistent pokes and jabs..playful tickling over the years..even during sex...that may have brought this change of heart.
She has recently allowed me more range as far as tickling her....even with bondage. If someone would have told me this would happen a couple years ago I would have called him crazy. I didn't think someone could be persuaded or convinced to actually enjoy being tickled. I thought (like me) it was something that is in your being. You are hard wired that way. I was wrong..it can happen. My wife is a bit on the "easily persuaded" side and after all these years I am finally realizing that she does have a slightly sub side and I intend on keeping her happy....and laughing !!

 

[Havsoker]

I met a ticklephile in a chat room a little over 7 years ago. She and I decided early on that we would try to get to know each other before actually meeting face to face.

We talked online for a while and then graduated to phone calls. After about a month, we decided to meet face to face.

We've found that while tickling is part of our relationship, it isn't its basis, which is what we hoped for.

We have a lot in common and the relationship continues to grow. We are now engaged and will be married in January!

Hav

 

[chrisheaven]

Has anyone ever been to a therapist who tried to cure this fetish, claiming it was hurting relationships, or a way of trying to hide from intamacy?

are you nuts or something- why "cure" it!

 

[sincerity]

are you nuts or something- why "cure" it!

I asked if anyone's THERAPIST tried to cure it/discourage it, genius.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Mimi, that was so beautiful. SO beautiful. thank you for sharing it. it made me cry!

yay yay YAY! for both of you!

Bah! You Virgos are always lookin' for an excuse to be mushballs...

MY girlfriend is tough as nails! Wouldn't catch her gettin' all sappy over a lil' STORY. Nope. Not my honey bunny. Welllll, maybe a lil' bit.


I met her online a couple years ago... apparently, I'd fooled her into thinking I was some kinda nice guy or some such nonsense, so we started chatting. Much like Meem's & Lazzy's story, the more we talked, the more things just clicked into place, feeling so amazingly right, it took us both by surprise when we finally realized what was happening. After the revelation that we liked the other WAY more than we'd thought at first, our first reactions weren't happiness, but dismay... sounds weird, until you consider that we live on opposite ends of the country, just about as far apart as we possibly ca be and still be in the Continental United States. "Oh NO!!! I like her! I REALLLLLLLY like her! NOW what the hell am I gonna do?!?!?" But after we talked about it, and realized that we each felt the same, the happiness came in like a tsunami, and we resolved to make it work, which it has been for these past couple years now. Once all our ducks are in a row (or Loonies, for you Canadians), we'll finally be together, like so many other couples in the tickling community. Yes, there are hurdles and some sacrifices, but when you look around at how many success stories there are just in this Forum alone, you should all take heart. There's someone out there for you, if you're willing to work for it instead of waiting for it to fall into your lap. Trick is, ya gotta get yourself out there, and be yourself. Trying to attract someone is just not the way. They'll come to who you are, not who you're trying to be.

Then again, being devastatingly handsome won't hurt, either. And a sensational kisser. Oh, and above all else, MODEST.

 

[JPie1]

hooray for Mimi and Laz's story and hooray for Affectionate Dan's & Ayla's story, both beautiful and inspiring...

thank you for sharing

 

[natural tickler]

Lazarus and I met online. At that time, he was checking out the different yahoo groups, the TMF, personal ads, chat rooms, etc. looking for that special someone to share his time with. Having an interest in tickling was not even a prerequisite. He just wanted a girl who was nice and had a few things in common with him. During one of his routine searches for potential correspondants, he decided to check out Josie's yahoo group member directory. In there, he found my name listed under members in Wisconsin. Being he was from Wisconsin as well, he decided to follow up on it further and check out my yahoo profile. He claims he about fell off his chair when he first saw my picture (I think he's over-exaggerating a tad ), and decided he had to email me right then and there.

When I first started receiving emails from Lazarus, I have to admit I tried steering him in a different direction. At the time I had been married for 10 years to a man whom I shared my only child with, and while it was anything but a happy marriage, it was safe and secure and I figured I was gonna be stuck in the relationship for the rest of my life anyway, so I had resigned myself to misery. Besides, I had tried my hand at hooking up with someone online on several occassions previously, and each one either remained platonic, fizzled immediately, or was a complete and utter bomb. Needless to say I had more or less given up all hope.

I tried to kindly send him on his way in the beginning, suggesting other single female friends I had online who I knew were looking for someone just as he was. He politely followed up on each suggestion, but kept coming back to me. Finally I figured "well, he's a nice guy. I suppose I can at least humor him and correspond with him through email. He lives within a few hours drive, so if nothing else, he could become a potential future playmate." So we did just that...corresponded through email. At first we wrote back and forth maybe once a week or so. But the longer we corresponded, the more we discovered we had in common, and the more we wanted to get to know one another futher. After about 2 months, we were emailing each other every day, and by that time had discovered we had nearly EVERYTHING in common. We were both amazed and thrilled with how well our correspondance was going online, so we decided to take it to the next step and set up a time and date for a phone conversation. Several days before it was scheduled to take place, I found myself sitting home alone one night (the hubby was at the races), and having nothing else to do, figured I give him a ring and break the ice. What happened next still amazes us to this day. What was intended to be perhaps a 15-20 minute "nice to finally hear your voice" conversation, actually turned into a 5 HOUR LONG non-stop blab-a-thon. There was not one second of dead air the entire 5 hours. We clicked on EVERY topic that was brought up. We laughed, we jumped up and down in excitement, we fought to speak over one another, and we both wore the same goofy grin plastered across our faces the whole time. At the end of our talk, we both knew if we did not meet face to face to explore this new found fascination with one another further, we'd burst. So we arranged for him to pick me up the very next morning to stay the weekend with him up at his place, 3 hours north from where I was currently living.

Neither of us will ever forget the moment we finally laid eyes on one another that next day. I had been sitting in my car waiting for him to pull in, when suddenly I felt someone bounce on my rear bumper. I looked up into my rear-view mirror to see this GORGEOUS guy dressed in all black wearing sunglasses, standing on the back of my car, peering through the back windshield at me with a cocked eyebrow and a cocky grin. My heart literally stopped beating for a second or two as the thought "OMG he's HOT!" raced through my mind. The next thought that entered was "Fuck, he's way too good for me. Once he sees me he'll never be interested." He came around the side of the car and poked his head into the drivers side window. I grinned up at him and said "I suppose you're dissapointed." He flashed a huge smile across his cute face and replied "Nothing could be further from the truth."

He followed me back to my place so I could grab my packed duffle bag and leave my car at home. In the driveway to my house, he cupped my face in both hands and gingerly kissed me right then and there. It caught me totally by surprise and he's damn lucky I did not pop him one across the face for doing it. Instead I made an excuse for us to hurry and get in his car and get on the road, so we did just that.

That whole first weekend was magic. Every touch / tickle / caress /look / conversation exchanged was pure magic, and I swear both of us were near spontaneous combustion by the sheer power of it all. We knew right away that there was no turning back. In each other we found what we had been searching for our entire lives and thought never existed: the perfect partner.

We spent a few more weekends with each other confirming what we already knew, and then I made arrangements to seperate from my husband. I didn't want to hurt him, but after 10 years of ignoring my own pain and unhappiness, I knew I could not go on living in our loveless marriage, and decided for once to do what made ME happy. The seperation and divorce was a very trying and painful experience, but all parties made it through unscathed and he is now living with his fiance and they are expecting their first child together in December.

Shortly after my ex and I seperated, Lazarus and I moved in together. We've had your typical ups and downs all couples experience when learning one anothers moods and dark corners, but we don't regret a single moment that brought us to where we are now. We plan to marry in 2006, and we're even more in love now then we were when we first met (which neither of us thought was possible).

As for what made it work, well, I think it was a lot of factors combined. There was so much more drawing us together than tickling alone. In fact, tickling just wound up being a bonus since we connected on so many other levels as well. We both wanted the same things from a potential partner and relationship. We wanted someone loyal and devoted (we were both in marriages with cheating spouses), someone warm and caring and adoring and affectionate and doting (we both had spouses who were totally against any displays of personal affection), we wanted someone playful and child-like at heart (we both had spouses who were very anti-play), we wanted someone who was at least in the same ballpark intellectually (we both had spouses who were lucky to complete 5th grade), we both wanted someone who would not only accept each of our children, but would treat them and love them as their own (I had one and he had 3 from our previous marriages - neither of our ex's were particularly loving parents), we wanted someone we had more than one or two things in common with (lazzy and I share damn near every interest we have together), and we both wanted to be with someone who could light that fire we had lost so long ago. And we fullfilled ALL of those things for one another. We literally fit together like a perfect puzzle.

It worked because we both made sacrifices and put forth an equal effort to make it a reality. You HAVE to be willing to do that if you're serious about finding a partner, regardless of the circumstances. But it CAN happen. Perseverance, my friends.

Of course, a little charm never hurt anyone either.

Mimi

and the best actress for a groovy tickle scene is....

j/k Meems, great story. And put the whapper away

 

[BigJim]

Hmmmmmm...

I've tickled a few girls in my time, and none of the ones from r/l seemed to warm to it. That's different from "normal" tickling of course, which you do on anyone from girlfriends of your girlfriend, to their kids. I'm talking about the heavier tickling we like to indulge in.

My current girlfriend hates it with a passion. Try it on her and her facial expression would stun a cave troll at a hundred yards on a foggy night. Go further and she makes a sound like a wolverine having porcupine quills removed from its arse using pliers without anaethstetic (no that wasn't a typo, that's the English way of spelling it).

The gals from the TMF I've met have made me truly appreciate what a life-enhancing boon it would be to be in a relationship with a tickle lover.

 

[steph]

Big Jim=yummy!
XOXO

PS~PM or email when you get the time hon~made friends w/a female cutie in the UK looking for fun

 

[Ayla ny]

I wanted to share this.

this was my horoscope on the day that Dan and I first met face-to-face.

I laminated a copy and carry it in my purse.

 

[Ghost2004]

I've said it before hon

but you guys give me the strength to keep going in my relationship!

That;s just eerie and more proof of why I believe in astrology!

FYI me and my S/O started talking the Mon after Valentines Day!

Ghostie

 

[Bagelfather]

on tickling relationships

Sometimes you go looking for things and then sometimes things just happen to fall into place. I have met a kinky lee whom I have been dating now for the last three weeks. We're both very happy and are exploring other aspects of bdsm along with tickling.

I have always had difficulty meeting women (vanilla) let alone meeting someone who is kinky like me. When I met my current gf it was a very straight forward meeting of getting to know a new friend in the area and to help her get settled into a new environment. We looked at each other and felt we had absolutely no interest romantic or sexual in the other right off the bat. However, things have since evolved and changed over time. The relationship is still young so I hope it continues to grow and we become closer. I care about her a lot, and she does the same.

If you know what your kink is and you find someone who is not like minded you probably will not be happy over the long term. I have talked at length with my gf about this and she went through a lot of pain and frustration trying to have relationships with guys who did not share her mindset of kinkyness or her love of tickling, and she was miserable. I know that she is a lot happier now being in a relationship with someone who is willing to play in a mutual loving fashion.

The other night we had our first true role playing experience. It was a little rough for her to get into character but I think it went well. Probably in another thread I might talk about what was involved to give others ideas for their own nights of play.

In any relationship you need mutual trust and understanding of what you like and dislike. You cannot be afraid to say "I like this" or "this hurts don't do that," etc. How else will your partner get to know you and become closer? If you are in a relationship and discover suddenly your dark/kinky desires that is a lot different than knowning before you get into a relationship.

My current gf and I have only been dating for a short time but we're happy right now. I cannot say where we will be 2 months from now, 6 months from now, or a year from now. All I know is that I am happy for what I have now and want to keep our lines of communication open so that stays a healthy relationship. If things do not work out then at least I have grown a bit more and am less afraid to take steps to ensure my own happiness.

 

[EvlJester]

Me and smurfy met on-line. then we started to talk after a lil while i ended up moving out to arizona to live with her. once i got here i found out about her tickling fetish and she found out about my tickling fetish, we have been happy ever since. then about a month or so ago she found out about my foot fetish as well and she really like's it. All i know is that her and i are very happy together and we are expecting a new edition to our lil tickling family. Jester.