Therapists comments on fetish. I would like input from you folks.

[imirritated]

I've been going to speak with a therapist for various reasons for the past couple of years,maybe once a month or every other month. I find it helpful to bounce things off of someone that has no invested interest in me. A blank slate to speak to. Now this therapist happens to also be a sexual therapist,so they are able to comment o such things.

I mentioned to her the foot fetish and tickling fetish. The foot fetish I can't explain,I just like women's feet. But the tickling,I only had one memory of it.

When I was younger I had a relative that would mercilessly tickle me,I hated it with a passion and as a young child I remember hiding when they came over or were at a family function. The worst part is,no one ever stopped this person. I wasn't the only target,other cousins and such would get it as well.

But ,I have this odd attraction to tickling/being tickled in my adult life as long as I can recall,and sexualise it when appropriate with the opposite sex.

The therapist told me that when we are young,and have things like this happen to ourselves,our mind does something to make it tolerable,hence the sado/massocistic (sp?) stuff comes out.


To this day I still can't stand her this relative without being nervous or tense,and uncomfortable. So now I over think this and feel like if I'm now into tickling because of this,what to make of that?


Rambling on. Not sure what my point is. I guess I'm looking to see who had experiences like this when you were younger,if anyone. I hated it with a passion,and now it seems to have become a passion. It makes me think I'm fucked up or something sometimes now.


Thoughts? Like I said,I'm not sure what the hell my point is.

 

[imirritated]

Please forgive my spelling and grammar!

 

[chicago]

Im of the belief that this is how a lot of things, including fetishes, develop in people. Something happens to them during childhood, they may not even remember the circumstance, but somehow it affects the brain in such a way that it stays with you.

There was a Law and Order SVU episode where a guy got turned on by people stepping on bugs because of some memory of his mother doing it as a child.

I have a few memories of being tickled as a kid that kinda stick out in my memory. Some good. Some not so good. I kinda don't really care why or how I am the way I am, it's fun and makes me happy, so I just go with it.

 

[snowdrop]

That's really interesting - I often wonder how it came about. I remember hating being tickled by family members when I was really young, but I was also aware of liking it with friends (when I was around 5). And I don't remember it happening often from family members, or it feeling especially traumatic the way you described. I also notice though that what I like more now is light, sensual tickling rather than the slightly painful overwhelming tickling I remember hating. The thought of someone being tickled against their will to the point where it's really unpleasant also sickens me. Running with your therapist's ideas maybe that was a way of converting it into something safer feeling - though like you I don't like the thought of it being something resulting from early trauma. But who knows, it could well be. That seems to be the most prominent view on most fetishes.

 

[Ekorren]

As snowdrop stated, that's really interesting.

I have both a foot fetish and a tickling fetish, and the ONE and ONLY memory from my childhood was something like, we had a midsummer party (Holiday in Sweden) and then one of my younger cousin was lieing on the floor, and tickled someones feet, and then my auntie said like "Oh, I used to do that when I was younger, and I have a foot fetish". And I was around the age of 12 or something, so I started to understand that I did like feet and such, so when she said it, my heart just dropped, I seriously felt sick and my entire body went freezing cold.

But that's really the only memory I have that might have developed me two fetishes. And in most cases, people tickle their friend and your family member tickle you and so on, but I haven't really done that. You know, when you're in high school, and someone is lieing in the couch just chilling, and someone would like tickle the persons feet if they were sitting in the couch aswell? Things like that, i've never done it. So I have like 1 memory of just talking about a fetish, and that talk was for 10 seconds or so, although, that's what I remember. I might have a vague memory of tickling someone, or how I developed either my foot or tickling fetish.

But it's a really interesting subject, that myself would like to know more about. Oh, the mysterious!

 

[shygirl08]

Fetishes are complex. I saw a TV show a few years ago on fetishes and it featured a guy that had a strong fetish for balloons. He said he was afraid of them as a kid, but it became a strong sexual force in his life. I think some people can pin things like this on traumatic childhood experiences, but as I said, they're complex. It doesn't mean that you are fucked up IF it could have somehow developed from your traumatic experience (I don't know you so I can't say). Period.

I don't think my interest in any part of BDSM comes from any family member, I can say that for sure. However, I saw a therapist who tried to spin and twist and fill in blanks with outlandish speculation and gave me cousel under that very odd mentality.. to put it nicely. All I'm saying is, make sure you have a sane therapist before you listen to his/her assessments... and make sure they listen to YOUR experiences lol. I think many aspects of BDSM are about control.. giving it up because you've had to be SO in control of everything in your life, or taking control, because it helps you feel more in control of things. I don't think it's from being abused, personally. If that were the case, kids that have been physically abused growing up would love to have the crap beat out of them. I don't buy that your relative "gave" you this fetish with their abuse. It may have developed because of it, but that wasn't because of her. You get to enjoy it regardless!

Whereever it came from for you, it's so fucking hot and awesome. You get to enjoy it, however you got it. It's not weird, it's fabulous. SO sexy. I really can't believe more people don't see it as a sexual thing, but I can't relate to "vanilla" people at all so.. yeah. It seems like an obvious thing.. even if it's not technically a fetish. I'd be more interested in knowing where your foot fetish comes from.. but then, I can relate to what you say when you say it's just always been there. That's how tickling has been for me.. and a few others.

 

[imirritated]

No clue! My therapist is great and encourages me to not think of my fetishes as bad things. So no issue there. It only came up because i brought it up.

And on feet? I do t know, i just have a wire crossed i guess.

Tried to pm you something shygirl. Doesn't work.

 

[Mitchell]

As I've posted before, my intense female foot fetish started when I was in childhood. I used to walk on my toes on my left foot, until having surgery to fix it when I was 9. My family was so fixated on my feet, that I began asking any female babysitter to smell their feet around age 5. Most thought I was a silly kid, so they said yes.

My tickle fetish evolved slowly, and came much later. It wasnt until I read articles about tickling in leg mags in my mid teens, that I began to notice tickling. After that, when I started writing to my late pen pal Don Fraser, who I mentioned before, in 1997, I then realized through my correspondence with him, that tickling was a fetish for me. It was then that I began consciously wondering whether women I saw in real life, or newscasters/weather girls. etc, were ticklish.

Maybe my fetish for tickling developed late, but this is just how it was for me.

Mitch

 

[shygirl08]

Well, I'm glad you don't have any issues with it. You mentioned it makes you feel fucked up sometimes.. and I was trying to address that.

 

[StevePerry4Ever]

So... wait, your therapist didn't say, "Tickle fetish? I'm not to familiar with that, maybe you should show me,"

and then you didn't tie her up and tickle the hell out of her and she kept begging for it to stop but then realized that is turned her on too?

It's like these tickling producers are lying to our faces!

 

[imirritated]

Shy girl,I can't reply to your message,it won't allow me.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

In my opinion, I think it has to do with the "who" is the tickler. I know some lees get creeped out if its someone they don't respect or desire. This could be the case with your relative. This person used you for their own pleasure and didn't first allow some kind of connection. Blood isn't a connection. It was a complete turn off to allow yourself to enjoy it and made you feel tramatic and disgusted by it.

 

[iloveddub]

In my opinion, I think it has to do with the "who" is the tickler. I know some lees get creeped out if its someone they don't respect or desire. This could be the case with your relative. This person used you for their own pleasure and didn't first allow some kind of connection. Blood isn't a connection. It was a complete turn off to allow yourself to enjoy it and made you feel tramatic and disgusted by it.

I totally second this. If there is no attraction, I cannot be a lee. Having an emotional bond makes it even better.

 

[Jagermeistered]

I do not think tickling is a actual fetish. I disagree with the dictionary, saying: that it is a excessive or irrational commitment. The commitment is more derived from the partition(a body-part or object), and not necessarily the action. Take bondage for example, how many positions are available to the fetishist in regards to partition? The feet, belly, armpits, boobs, ass, genitals, etc...?

The feeling of being tickled may blow my theory wide open though. And, the actor that played Grisom(during the original CSI in "Vegas"), was correct... The submissive has all the control! I have no problem with that! Play-partners make better friends then enemies...

 

[Dave Pavet]

I would only go to a Therapist for my tickling fetish if she wore spiked heels.

 

[MrTicklefeet]

I would only go to a therapist for my tickling fetish if she was barefoot and bared her midriff.

 

[voided9]

I've wondered before, what could have caused my tickling fetish. It didn't happen much when I was a kid, I can't explain it. I've accepted it though, I don't think it's something I would mention to any therapist.

 

[JoePTickle]

I've liked tickling since I was 5 or so, which makes me think that at least at one time it was a non-sexual attraction. I don't recall any unpleasant experiences as a kid related to it, but as soon at the teen hormones kicked in the two were forever linked.

 

[c7_assassin]

I strongly believe childhood experiences are the root of most fetishes... In my own particular case, I know I developed a foot fetish a lot later in life, well after my tickling fetish. So I also believe our sexual proclivities are not as set in stone as we imagine. At least not everybody's.