mch5
TMF Regular
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2012
- Messages
- 272
- Points
- 18
I am sad.
My sadness is not because of my severe disability, I had 40 years to get used to the fact that I can't walk, hardly move and even breathe on my own.
I have a full life, a mind full of knowledge and wonder, and I am not expected to drop any time soon.
And yet, I AM Sad.
I'm sad for never being able to go close to fulfilling my fantasy.
Oh, no doubt, I am asking quite a lot! Being arrogant or rude (not sure about the right word) by wishing to see and experience what I wish to see/experience.
The perfect fantasy, for me, in a perfect world:
My willing "victim" is a very natural looking lady.
She is very Shy and submissive,
tied up, spread, naked, in a very tight way, as seen, almost only, in pain related bdsm situations.
Yes, this is a very sexual for me, but penetration is not necessary, I will climax anyway, at some point.
Now, she definitely is a very specific kind of "lady", but she also have a very specific kind of laughter.
She is not a screamer, but one who have a cute giggly laugh, the kind that easily, too easily perhaps, broken in silent laughter.
Yet, I do not tickle with mercy. I do not stop even if loose control...
Her suffering, almost "invisible", laughter is my piece of heaven. Watching her body trembles with laughter, her belly spasms silently, her chest struggles to inhale.. just for the air escape again in an hardly audible bits of laughter.
And I, the master evil tickler, will stop only once in a while, so she can breathe again and stay alive... so I can do it again, and again.
I sometimes even looking at it, at my extreme desire, not as tickling fetish, but a bdsm breath control game, implemented with tickling.. but no, it's definitely Tickling fetish
Of course, I am attracted to her naked body, but her laughter is what brings me to the "point of no return".
Now, in reality, I am sad and desperate.
Not because I want to just torture and I can't, I don't really want to harm anyone.
But my sadness is because that I'll never be able to get close to my fantasy, I will never be able to even try.
So,
I buy clips, which I hope to show something similar, but never does.I order customs, that... doesn't fulfill.
And these days I go to Cam sites and online"sexsells" (reddit/kik/mail/other), in hope to be a part of something that even mimics what I want to see... A close-up view of the armpit, a belly laugh, an act of ticklish submission, or just to talk about it... but they don't understand or unwilling.
No. I don't expect perfection, I don't expect fulfillment. but... I'm desperately want something... a part...
funny, I planned to write much more but my hand already tired (typing using mouse and onscreen keyboard).
How ironic is a tickler who cannot tickle...
Anyway,
What's your advice ?
Is there any hope ?
My sadness is not because of my severe disability, I had 40 years to get used to the fact that I can't walk, hardly move and even breathe on my own.
I have a full life, a mind full of knowledge and wonder, and I am not expected to drop any time soon.
And yet, I AM Sad.
I'm sad for never being able to go close to fulfilling my fantasy.
Oh, no doubt, I am asking quite a lot! Being arrogant or rude (not sure about the right word) by wishing to see and experience what I wish to see/experience.
The perfect fantasy, for me, in a perfect world:
My willing "victim" is a very natural looking lady.
She is very Shy and submissive,
tied up, spread, naked, in a very tight way, as seen, almost only, in pain related bdsm situations.
Yes, this is a very sexual for me, but penetration is not necessary, I will climax anyway, at some point.
Now, she definitely is a very specific kind of "lady", but she also have a very specific kind of laughter.
She is not a screamer, but one who have a cute giggly laugh, the kind that easily, too easily perhaps, broken in silent laughter.
Yet, I do not tickle with mercy. I do not stop even if loose control...
Her suffering, almost "invisible", laughter is my piece of heaven. Watching her body trembles with laughter, her belly spasms silently, her chest struggles to inhale.. just for the air escape again in an hardly audible bits of laughter.
And I, the master evil tickler, will stop only once in a while, so she can breathe again and stay alive... so I can do it again, and again.
I sometimes even looking at it, at my extreme desire, not as tickling fetish, but a bdsm breath control game, implemented with tickling.. but no, it's definitely Tickling fetish
Of course, I am attracted to her naked body, but her laughter is what brings me to the "point of no return".
Now, in reality, I am sad and desperate.
Not because I want to just torture and I can't, I don't really want to harm anyone.
But my sadness is because that I'll never be able to get close to my fantasy, I will never be able to even try.
So,
I buy clips, which I hope to show something similar, but never does.I order customs, that... doesn't fulfill.
And these days I go to Cam sites and online"sexsells" (reddit/kik/mail/other), in hope to be a part of something that even mimics what I want to see... A close-up view of the armpit, a belly laugh, an act of ticklish submission, or just to talk about it... but they don't understand or unwilling.
No. I don't expect perfection, I don't expect fulfillment. but... I'm desperately want something... a part...
funny, I planned to write much more but my hand already tired (typing using mouse and onscreen keyboard).
How ironic is a tickler who cannot tickle...
Anyway,
What's your advice ?
Is there any hope ?