Tickling and children

[TTT for joy]

I know, that it is a very sensitive topic on this forum, but I'd like to have a civil discussion on it.
I was once playing with my seven years old niece and she asked me to tickle her. Tickling is a very sexual thing to me and I just can't bring myself to think of it in any other manner, So I was in a situation that felt very awkward to me.
Did anything similar ever happen to you? If so, how did you cope with it?

 

[Myriads]

So I was in a situation that felt very awkward to me.
Did anything similar ever happen to you? If so, how did you cope with it?

Keep your replies to the OP's basic questions here. Do not be descriptive about the tickling or minor, or this thread will be vanished.

Myriads

 

[CassandraMarie]

For me it is two very different situations. It's a separate type of tickling. When I first learned of my fetish with my fiancé, I had a moment of feeling weird about the topic. Then I realized it is not the same act, they are not the same motivations. I hope this helps

 

[Avenger314]

I personally have what I think of as a 'switch' or 'lever' in my mind. It can sometimes be sexual for me, but I can push the switch over to be just impish, fun, and playful.
That having been said, I tend not to tickle kids. There's that 0.001% chance someone would make a connection between that, and if they know I like tickling as applied to sexual activity with age-appropriate consenting girls, and draw the wrong idea. It's unlikely but I don't like to gamble.

Myriads, I hereby pre-emptively waive all griping rights if you need to delete this post for any reason, just do please shoot me a PM if you can so I know not to re-post .

 

[saratk]

I've actually thought of this too. What i would do if in that position. I agree on the whole "switch" in my mind..for me it's because it depends on context. If it's someone who I don't have potential sexual feelings for, I can separate. If I was doing to an adult I thought was attractive, even in a silly way, I will have those feelings. That being said, just to not confuse things for myself, I do not seek out to tickle kids. I do agree I wish I could have more "innocent" experiences so I feel ok about it...

 

[chicago]

Its like kissing. I dont kiss my grandma the same way i kiss my boyfriend.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

I tend not to tickle kids. There's that 0.001% chance someone would make a connection between that, and if they know I like tickling as applied to sexual activity with age-appropriate consenting girls, and draw the wrong idea. It's unlikely but I don't like to gamble.

Yeah, there's definitely that issue. You tickle the wrong kid, the parent sees and gets mad (or someone else) because they think you're sexually abusing the kid but you're not because it's not sexual. So you definitely gotta worry about that... kinda like my sister. She can be uptight, if I'm doing anything with my nieces, tickling, whatever, she'll say it's inappropriate. Not because she knows I have a tickle fetish though, she's just uptight sometimes.

For the most part though, I tickle kids, I'm not one of those people that always find it sexual. I have to be sexually attracted to the person for it to be sexual. I'm not attracted to kids. And sometimes tickling kids can be more fun because they can be way more ticklish than adults. But about your awkward question... I get into awkward situations sometimes.. Not because I'm tickling a kid, but because I was tickling a kid and the parent was there and I didn't think about it before and I don't know how the parent is going to react to some grown man tickling their kid.

Now to the OP's question:
When it comes to your niece... if you feel awkward you probably shouldn't do it, but how do you tell her no? It's not like you can tell her you have this fetish and I'm an adult and your parents might not like it or whatever...

 

[Amnesiac]

I'm very lucky in that I too have "the switch" and can turn it off when I have to. My niece was into it too when she was younger, and I indulged her, but by using the lessons and skills that I learned here, I was able to do the job well without hurting her or pushing her boundaries. Everything was under her control and totally G-rated. The knowledge that I wasn't getting turned on and that everything was appropriate made it easy for me to be comfortable with it, although, like Avenger said, there is the worry about how other adults would take it. So thankfully, she's the only one I ever indulged.

Now, the fear of her having an actual tickle fetish and turning up at a gathering in the future after she turns 18...that's a WHOLE OTHER FEAR that I DID have. So far, though, I think we're both in the clear.

 

[robmic]

I agree with a lot of those who have responded so far. It's two completely different things. Tickling a woman cannot even be thought of in the same way as playfully tickling a child. Getting those thoughts mixed up... yuck, ptoo, barf, ick! Well, you can playfully tickle a woman, just not the other way around!

 

[Socal Tickling]

I have a little cousin who likes to play tickle whenever I'm around her. I treat it as a a parent tickling their kid. Just a way of bonding. Like Chicago said, you kiss your grandma a different way than you would your SO.

 

[tickletherapist]

Like Chicago said, you kiss your grandma a different way than you would your SO.

Agree with it.
Even if my, let's say, physiology somehow interprets it as something sexual, I will have absolutely zero sexual intentions towards kids.
It's the same as with getting massage for muscle relaxation. You can experience accidental arousal, some trigger might work, but that doesn't mean you are going to have sex with the massager at all.

So there's no reason not to play and not to make them smile and learn that gentle tickling touch may be pleasant and fun. And kids are cute when tickled

 

[AlexEmpire]

Its like kissing. I dont kiss my grandma the same way i kiss my boyfriend.

What an excellent way of putting that.

 

[ticklemepls]

Cant say anything more than I also agree with those saying they're two different things. The way my husband and I engage in tickling is different than the way I view it with others. Though I do realize others cannot make that distinction and for you- I'd say you're best to just not partake in it with anyone unless it's the right setting. As far as "coping with it"- its who you are, you cant change it so instead of focusing on the "bad" aspects, move forward with how you know you're comfortable with the activity- and that is the best I can say.

 

[Amanda]

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING BEFORE YOU RESPOND AND OFFEND.


I am in complete disagreement with all of the above. I actually find it deeply upsetting. To me, the experience of tickling or being tickled is comparative to inflicting or receiving an orgasm. It is a physical manipulation of certain body parts to evoke an involuntary physical (and psychological) response. Ive felt sexual about it since i was a child, and ive always wished that t didn't exist as some strange "joke" among relatives and children. It deeply offends and upsets me -- I, a person with verrrry little that upsets or offends me. I even use to get so jealous, that i would be sick to my stomach, when my girlfriend would do it to her nephew.

I understand society sees it differently, but i am posting here because it is the only supportive place i could think of. She hasnt done it to him or anyone else in so long, but it honestly still makes me more upset than if she had let a man be sexual to her in some other way. I do not hope anyone feels this way, but at the same time, i sort of do... Just to have someone to relate to.

It seems trivial, immature, and strange,
I know.... But it burns me down to my core. Does anyone feel similar? Ive
Read somewhat related things on yahoo, and people are just torn to shreds. That is not what i need.

Please IM me on here if you want to have an honest, sensitive discussion.

 

[Royaltickles]

Tickling kids, well I do like to. I love tickling. Even though it is a fetish for me it does not mean that I'll do anything sexual. I understand what the parents are thinking though, I mean they don't want strangers tickling their kids. I believe if it is your kid, or you got the parents permission and not doing anything naughty (which it is illegal to) then it's fine. There is a difference between playful tickling and sexual tickling.

 

[shark]

I tend to avoid kids in general. That being said, chicago's response pretty much sums it up.

 

[TKLVR18]

I personally have what I think of as a 'switch' or 'lever' in my mind. It can sometimes be sexual for me, but I can push the switch over to be just impish, fun, and playful.

We seem to be in the minority, eh? I'm the same, 90% of leeing is totally not sexual and just playful and, as you say, impish.

~K

 

[TS41]

Comment deleted

 

[tksleepwalker]

I am allergic to kids, so i just avoid them... if push comes to shove, the "switch" is always there for all situations...

 

[Gitana]

For me, that switch that everyone keeps mentioning only works sometimes depending on the context and the people. For kids I will tickle them only briefly because I refuse to torture them with tickling. In my opinion, intense tickling should only be reserved for people who can handle it and are not completely vulnerable to defend themselves or vocalize their displeasure with it. That's where it slips into being super uncomfortable with me. I hate it when adults don't know when to stop and over do it to the point where the kid clearly doesn't like it and it's pretty much abusive as far as I'm concerned. You can betray a child's trust that way, and it really makes my blood boil. Then these same children usually develop deep aversions towards tickling when they get older, which is what happened to almost every single one of my girlfriends. They all had dads that would tickle them senseless to the point where they couldn't breathe or it hurt and later on in life they don't regard those memories too fondly.

 

[L_o_s_e_r]

"For kids I will tickle them only briefly because I refuse to torture them with tickling . . . I hate it when adults don't know when to stop and over do it to the point where the kid clearly doesn't like it and it's pretty much abusive . . . You can betray a child's trust that way"

Gitana saved me the trouble of typing most of my reply to this topic. The more I've thought about it through the years, the less inclined I've been to tickle a child even briefly/playfully. Adults who tickle children in a prolonged manner carry the sadistic aspect of tickling too far; save the need to tickle a submissive for fellow adults.

 

[tickling=feet]

My nephews say 'tickle me' sometimes. I generally say 'no its a monday' (insert whatever the day of the week it is at that point) "I dont tickle on mondays" then carry that along. They generally stop for awhile. When it starts up i do it again.

 

[eugene_mast]

Its like kissing. I dont kiss my grandma the same way i kiss my boyfriend.

Great way to think about it!!

 

[toyou444]

Its like kissing. I dont kiss my grandma the same way i kiss my boyfriend.

This.

Even growing up knowing tickling made me feel "different" then it seemed everyone else there was a disconnect between tickling a cousin or tickling a gf.

For me, and this may just be me, I am more ticklish with someone I have a bond with. So when I was dating they could tickle me, but a casual friend could not get the same reaction.

Now as a full grown adult the "sexual" response only comes from tickling and being tickled by my wife. Being tickled by anyone else from friends to family will get the shrieking laughing response but nothing else...same with tickling them.

But I fully understand people getting weirded out by it. Everyone is different in how they think and how they react.

~ toyou

 

[MaxSpeer]

Even though tickling is very sexual to me, it's only that way when I with someone I am attracted to. I tickled my kids when they were growing up but, like Chicago said, kissing my kids and kissing my lover are not even in the same planet. Furthermore, I can tickle an adult woman and not feel a sexual response if I am not attracted to her already. So it's not a matter of switching off for me. It's only about switching on with someone I love or I am into. Tickling anyone else is just fun stuff.