To the Ladies

myth77 · Aug 8, 2010

I want to hear from the women of the forum about something :bounce:

.

My best friend went out with me tonight for my birthday and was amazed at something. She thought it was unusual that guys in their mid to late 20's are still very attracted to her (She will be 40 in a couple of weeks. There is a friend of hers who is 26, who hung out with us tonight, that was sincerely interested in her). She thought I was not as surprised by such attention because I'm a few years younger. I've told her before, but I said it again. She carries herself different because she is more comfortable with who she is as a grown-a$$ woman, and it shows. I've grown more comfortable with myself as I've entered my 30's, and I can't help but show it when I go out. You don't look for approval the same way, and hopefully you are more accepting of your flaws and wonders

. Human beings can't help but want to gravitate towards someone who exudes comfortableness in their own skin. It manifests itself every time we go out, but she is still amazed by it. Admittedly, being on this forum has helped me get more comfortable with myself as a woman, aware of what I want, who I am, etc.

I want to hear from the ladies on the forum. Have you noticed a difference in yourself and your confidence as you've gotten older? Has it affected the kinds of people that are drawn to you?

I've noticed a change since I crossed 30, and it gets better all the time.

How about you?

Aimee · Aug 8, 2010

nope. i still don't like who i am inside and out...and it definitely shows.

Lamashtu · Aug 8, 2010

I've made some steps over time. I hope to make many more steps and leaps into comfortableness.

Angel77 · Aug 8, 2010

I'm getting there. It's a journey for me but I have to say, my 30's so far (when it comes to self esteem issues) seem to be a bit better compared to when I was in my 20's. I'm wondering if it's a self acceptance thing or by this time in my life, I've just realized how fast life goes and it's not worth sweating over the small stuff? Or maybe it's a combination of both? Things that I thought were such a huge deal when I was 22 would be something I would laugh about now if they were to happen to me at this time in my life (I'm now 33). I can appreciate that.

And for sure, being more positive in general does tend to bring the same out in the folks around me. I think people really pick up on those vibes, which is probably why your friend is receiving that attention, and rightfully so! Happy, confident people are sexy - no matter what their age! I'm getting there.

I got the happy part down and I think the confident part is something I'll always struggle with but it's a work in progress.

Nobody wants to hang around a Debbie Downer all of the time.

myth77 · Aug 8, 2010

Angel77 said:
I'm getting there. It's a journey for me but I have to say, my 30's so far (when it comes to self esteem issues) seem to be a bit better compared to when I was in my 20's. I'm wondering if it's a self acceptance thing or by this time in my life, I've just realized how fast life goes and it's not worth sweating over the small stuff? Or maybe it's a combination of both? Things that I thought were such a huge deal when I was 22 would be something I would laugh about now if they were to happen to me at this time in my life (I'm now 33). I can appreciate that.

And for sure, being more positive in general does tend to bring the same out in the folks around me. I think people really pick up on those vibes, which is probably why your friend is receiving that attention, and rightfully so! Happy, confident people are sexy - no matter what their age! I'm getting there. I got the happy part down and I think the confident part is something I'll always struggle with but it's a work in progress.

Nobody wants to hang around a Debbie Downer all of the time.

Amen. I may never be fully happy with everything about myself, but I accept myself for who I am way more now that I'm in my 30's. It also helped me tremendously being with a person for a long time that was seldom pleased with me. I learned how to not give a f*ck, and to appreciate what I've got to work with. When you're younger, you do tend to seek approval and be concerned with what flaws you have. One of the blessings about getting older is realizing you have a choice. You can hold on to your insecurities if you want to, but you've been around long enough to know that doesn't get you anywhere. It repels people, and worse, it draws folks to you who enjoy preying on your insecurities for a sense of their own security. Or you can actively choose to accept yourself. When you do, you become happier, and like you said, people are drawn to happier and more confident people. You may not be the biggest and brightest star, but you should learn to get comfortable with your light, and shine it hard :jester: