Trigger Warning: Suicide Discussion

[CapturedDoll]

So I'm bringing this up because of an experience I just had 2 nights ago. And if it can help someone else I'd like to share my story.

First off let me say I was diagnosed with Type 2 Bipolar Disorder about 5 years ago. And it's been an uphill battle ever since. I've been on medication since then. But medication doesn't always help me. Like the other night...

I got into an argument with my Gf. And I was already wasted on beer. I had been in a good mood all day up until this point. And then that happened. Suddenly I was so upset I started to lash out and cry my eyes out. And this kept going and going until I finally walked inside, grabbed a knife, and plunged into my chest.

I didn't go to the hospital because I can't afford it. And I'm taking care of the wound on my own. So far so good. I just hope its not infected. So far it doesn't seem to me.

Besides helping people, I just needed to vent this. Thankfully I have my Bf to help me. I DO have a Therapist who's great but I can only talk to him once a month because of the program I'm on to be able to afford my medication.

So since I have a bunch of friends here I feel safe enough to talk about this here. I wasn't going to but like I said if I can help peole with this post I'm more than happy to do it. Plus I'm still extremely depressed still.

If you are suicidal... there is help available. I can't say I'm out of my negative head space yet but I'm working on it.

Thanks for listening.

Doll

 

[EBunbury]

Please consider the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255.

 

[CapturedDoll]

Please consider the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255.

I'm about to talk to my Therapist. But thank you.

 

[BlasterMaster]

I recommend at least seeing a doctor for your wound Doll.

Do the hospitals around your area have any programs for financial assistance?

 

[FrenzyTickles]

I'm not sure this is universal but in some areas hospitals won't charge more than 100? 300? if you don't have insurance.
(You may need to ask, some may not volunteer that info.)

----- Or Medicaid might cover you fully, they should work with you, especially with a wound like that.

That must be deep enough & you're obviously really lucky you're still breathing.

You don't want to find out it's infected when it's too late.

*

 

[Nedward]

Holy shit. The wound must be superficial or you would probably be more incapacitated.

Please get help. The casual, almost cheerful tone in the OP, is what's most troubling.

 

[CapturedDoll]

Cheerful? At the time of this posting, not quite.

I'm really good though. It was about half an inch deep so pretty superficial. In fact its healing amazingly well. I got lucky.

This was just an episode of my Disorder. I'm good now. Thanks to everyone who reached out. <3

 

[Hiphophooray]

Yes definitely never hesitate to go to the ER if your injured. They can not refuse you, and it's rare for them to come after you for payment with much persistence, if any.