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Try this in a small town

Toesheldback

TMF Master
Joined
Sep 24, 2014
Messages
997
Points
18
My wife and I moved recently from one of the biggest cities in the US to a small town. Needless to say, being a city boy moving to the country has been a culture shock.

My wife and I are pretty outgoing - her prob more than me - and we both made friends quickly in this small town. The funny part is that my wife “overshares” (TMI) especially when she’s had a couple glasses of wine. So now, most of the women in town (and presumably the men) know about my love for f/f tickling. We were out last night and two women approached me and said, something to the effect of, “I hear you like women tickling each other”.

So, now that the secret is out there in the open, I’m considering owning up to it. Like I alluded to earlier, none of my my male buddies have mentioned it at all (contrary to popular belief, guys really don’t talk about sex that much, IME).

The downside is, if my wife gives or receives a quick poke in the ribs, I’m kinda worried people are gonna look at me sideways. My fetish isn’t so crazy that something like that would turn me on; I’d be like a “normal” person reacting to that.

WWYD?
 
I’d say don’t risk it. Small towns aren’t usually accepting of this stuff.

Source: I live in one
 
My wife and I moved recently from one of the biggest cities in the US to a small town. Needless to say, being a city boy moving to the country has been a culture shock.

My wife and I are pretty outgoing - her prob more than me - and we both made friends quickly in this small town. The funny part is that my wife “overshares” (TMI) especially when she’s had a couple glasses of wine. So now, most of the women in town (and presumably the men) know about my love for f/f tickling. We were out last night and two women approached me and said, something to the effect of, “I hear you like women tickling each other”.

So, now that the secret is out there in the open, I’m considering owning up to it. Like I alluded to earlier, none of my my male buddies have mentioned it at all (contrary to popular belief, guys really don’t talk about sex that much, IME).

The downside is, if my wife gives or receives a quick poke in the ribs, I’m kinda worried people are gonna look at me sideways. My fetish isn’t so crazy that something like that would turn me on; I’d be like a “normal” person reacting to that.

WWYD?

Roll with it sir. I was outed back in high school and it wasn’t just people making comments or calling me out. I was caught in the act at a party tickling a girls feet. I survived just fine as I chose to handle it as if it was no big deal and that I couldn’t care less what people thought. Unless they wanted in, lol.
 
My wife and I moved recently from one of the biggest cities in the US to a small town. Needless to say, being a city boy moving to the country has been a culture shock.

My wife and I are pretty outgoing - her prob more than me - and we both made friends quickly in this small town. The funny part is that my wife “overshares” (TMI) especially when she’s had a couple glasses of wine. So now, most of the women in town (and presumably the men) know about my love for f/f tickling. We were out last night and two women approached me and said, something to the effect of, “I hear you like women tickling each other”.

So, now that the secret is out there in the open, I’m considering owning up to it. Like I alluded to earlier, none of my my male buddies have mentioned it at all (contrary to popular belief, guys really don’t talk about sex that much, IME).

The downside is, if my wife gives or receives a quick poke in the ribs, I’m kinda worried people are gonna look at me sideways. My fetish isn’t so crazy that something like that would turn me on; I’d be like a “normal” person reacting to that.

WWYD?

What was the tone and context of that comment? Did they seem squicked out? Curious? Intrigued? Were they flirty? Judgemental? Nonchalant? Just plain nosey?

My opinion depends heavily on your perception of that interaction.
 
What was the tone and context of that comment? Did they seem squicked out? Curious? Intrigued? Were they flirty? Judgemental? Nonchalant? Just plain nosey?

My opinion depends heavily on your perception of that interaction.

I’d say they were amused, both at the tickling revelation and also at my discomfort at being confronted. Definitely not judgmental at all.
 
I’ve been “outed” before, and I downplayed the degree of how much I love f/f tickling. I tried to make it seem like I’m just like every other red-blooded male who likes it when females strip down to their bras and panties and has a tickle fight.
 
Yes, several of my my wife's friends have known of my interests; a few have even tickled her "mercilessly" in front of me, you know, just to mess with my head.

I didn't mind.
 
Yes, several of my my wife's friends have known of my interests; a few have even tickled her "mercilessly" in front of me, you know, just to mess with my head.

I didn't mind.

Same. To both of your sentences.
 
My close friends know, some acquaintances might suspect, and most people who know me casually would probably be a little bit shocked. I guess I seem mostly "normal."

More people would know about the bondage/dom stuff than tickling, just because the latter for me is a subset of the former.

It reminds me of a story. Two weekends ago I was sort-of-volunteering as a roadie at a music festival. A band was trying to tie a big nylon sign into a PVC frame over a stage. It was a little bit challenging to get the sign taut. As a rigger, I can be a little OCD sometimes about tying stuff, so I stepped in to help.

As I untied and retied everything with adjustable knots and smoothed out the banner, apparently they saw me. One of the ladies said to my wife, "Wow, he's pretty good at that. Is he like a sailor?"

"Um, no."

"Fisherman?"

"Nope."

"Boy Scout leader?" She just wouldn't let it go.

"No, he's kind of a...hobbyist," my wife finally said.

"Hmmm..."

So maybe a few more suspect now. But I've never minded friends knowing. They're all cool with it. Hell, for me it turned into a video store.
 
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I’d say don’t risk it. Small towns aren’t usually accepting of this stuff.

Source: I live in one

I agree. The problem with a small town is everyone knows each other and everyone talks. While you may get a few positive responses from it, I feel like there will be more strangeness / negativity from it than positivity. The other thing is that most people probably ly won't say anything to your face out of politeness but will certainly talk when you leave the room.

While I believe in letting people be free and live their best lives, I also believe it's best to keep fetishes on the down low and behind closed doors. There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking to tickle people. A lot of people find tickling others to be fun, fetishists or non-fetishists. However, adding the fetish to that generally takes it to a level which may make some people uncomfortable.

I'd say keep it to close friends and a small social circle. The entire town including the preacher, teachers, mayor, etc. shouldn't be aware of it. (I realize that's an overdramatization. You get the point)
 
Hey ToesHeldBack,

Firstly It's a great thing your wife is comfortable with your (our) kink, so comfortable she shares it with other people haha.

I feel like this is really just a preference that you and her should decide on.
Regardless if you were in a city or small town most people hang around the same circles of people consistently. There could be a discussion on where ppl are more accepting vs less accepting in what size area or it being easier to blend back in a crowd if it doesn't go so well ect but there isn't something very definitive with those topics prob.
So it really just comes down to your comfort level and hers.

Don't know you guys at all! Maybe something to consider is maybe your wife likes sharing something like that bc she enjoys the reaction it elicits from you. ect

Anyway enjoy best of luck.
I grew up in a city and went to college in a small country town... My experience was the small town people were kinder.. but thats just mine and everyone will have their own.
 
I look at it this way: people are ALWAYS going to talk, no matter how normal you think you are. If they're not talking about your kink, they'll find something else about you to talk about. Let them. Don't waste your time seeking the acceptance of other people. Your focus should be on YOUR life, not what anyone else is doing or their opinions about your life. Once you accept that, you'll find life to be a lot less stressful.
 
Small towns are hard! I live in one and just went through a breakup and have like almost zero friends now. Thankfully I'm moving to a different areas so fingers crossed.

As for being outed, if you don't mind it getting out on social media and family and friends finding out then I'd say go for it! If there is anyone in your life that you could potentially ruin a relationship with then I'd say don't risk it. For me, I have to be very careful, I don't share my face in any of the videos, only obscured because if it ever got out I'd be ruined. haha
 
I’ve been “outed” before, and I downplayed the degree of how much I love f/f tickling. I tried to make it seem like I’m just like every other red-blooded male who likes it when females strip down to their bras and panties and has a tickle fight.

This.

My style is to neither deny, or nor admit a deep, dark "fetish."

Instead, you make it seem like it's just one of many things you like (which is almost certainly true anyway) -- rather than a singular over-riding compulsion -- and the person implying your liking to tickle girls is some kind of big scoop or pervy scandal is just exaggerating for their own attention. I've never seen that reaction strategy not work.
 
I'd say forget about it. I grew up in a moderately wealthy "small town" suburb... surrounded by other small towns that didn't really make an impact one way or another. I thought moving would make a change, so I moved to the shore/farming part of the state. It's considered less income. Only difference I really saw was more women had children, we were older.... met someone who was crazy for me but I really couldn't deal with the issues on the side. Then I got another job.... and moved to the "first state of the US". More moms, more homeless, much less interest overall. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, seems to be looking for much of anything here.

So my advice, just do your own thing. You'll be happier.
 
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