What would you do?

[oxoforgotso]

You found someone on here that you knew in real-life? For example, they might have posted pictures of themselves or whatever and you could obviously recognize them but they don't know that you know them.

What would you do?

 

[Redmage]

Depends a lot on who they are. My reaction would be very different if the person in question were a close friend, a colleague from work, or my mother.

 

[Angel_2]

I think Redmage is right, it depends on who the person is what our relationship is and how close I am to that person.

 

[GenericUsername]

Boo! Boring answers so far! At least elaborate on your examples, or tell us what you'd do if it WAS someone in your inner circle!

Anyway, if this happened to me I'd giggle, then send a PM stating something like "You'll never guess who THIS is! " A PM might sound weird if I supposedly know them irl, but I just think it's a slightly nicer way to go about it than just to put them on the spot in person. Give them a moment to themselves to go through the stages of "Ahh fuck! I've been found out!" to "Oh wait, what's HE doing here?" to "Well I guess this is kind of funny."

While the "depends on who the person is" argument has its merits, unless it's family I would say that if they are already social and outspoken enough on the forum to not only post actively enough for me to notice them, but also have pictures of themselves on their profile... then me getting in touch to just say hi, (almost) regardless of former relation wouldn't really be that big of a deal to either of us.

 

[chicago]

Unless we had crossed paths through forum posts or chatroom interactions, I probably would steer clear of contacting them, unless I knew them well and they seemed like the type of person to be cool about it. (Granted, we'd both be in the same boat as having the same interest and being on this site, but people tend to be fairly sensitive about their kinks.

 

[JordanNova]

I probably would not say anything. I'd hate for someone to come up to me and randomly start talking about it in real life so I wouldn't want to do the same to them. I wouldn't want to scare someone away from their fetish by telling them that I know that they are on a forum. It would be hard to look at the person in the same way though if I saw them out and about.

 

[Franky]

Ditto on the "depends on who they are" answers.
If it was a family member, no I would not contact them and well as the saying goes "the nut doesn't fall far from the tree." Nor would it surprise me.
If it was someone from work who was stupid enough to post a picture etc etc. Then it would depend on how new they are to either work or being "out." Basically if they are new to being out then I might pm them with a friendly advisory letting them know that they should be a bit more discrete. Or possibly start a thread to be more covert about it.
If it was a vanilla friend (most of my non coworker friends I met in the scene) and I if I had any interest in them and they might have an interest in me I would carefully approach them in person. If not I would probably not tell them, but I might tease them a little.

On side note;
Compared to stumbling across a co-worker on fetlife I was more worried that I would bump into a co-worker at the local bdsm club, and I was very lucky that to my knowledge it has not happened. I also, told myself that if it ever happened that I would pull the person to the side to make sure that they know and understand proper scene/community etiquette.

 

[LBFT]

I agree with Angel_2, Redmage, and Franky. It depends on who it is. It could end bad or it could go well so if you try to let the person know I would slowly, very slowly bring the Tickling Discussion up.

LBFT

 

[robmic]

Hmmm Nobody mentioned this scenario... What if you pretended that you knew nothing about them having this kink or being here, and just started bringing up little tickling thoughts or playfully tickled them a little... I wonder how they would react. Would they get creeped out or play along or get into it? Would be interesting to see....

 

[FLBowler]

If they were an extremely close friend, I'd approach in person alone. Kinks can be very personal, but if we are already close trusting friends I wouldn't have a problem. Colleague or family, I'd stay clear of them to keep that out of the home or work place. If it happen to be one of my younger cousins, I might "watch over" that being said, I wouldn't post or comment towards them, just make sure they aren't being unsafe.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I probably wouldn't act on it if I discovered someone I knew here. If it were someone I was attracted to IRL I might see where things lead by tickling them or bringing the topic up covertly in conversation more often But other than that, I'd let sleeping dogs lie and not intrude on anyone's anonymity here.

 

[TickledToDeath]

I would contact that person. Maybe not here but through email if provided. Reminisce of our past then discretely and subtly drop hints or bring the topic up and go from there.

 

[r4j20c67]

For me the key parts to this question was "posted pictures of themselves" and "obviously recognize them". I don't know about anyone else but when I posted my pics I knew there was a chance that someone I knew, or had known, or even someone I just see on a regular basis might find out. I do agree that it would depend on who the person was though, family, friend, co worker, your boss, or maybe someone you can't stand. I think it also depends on what their expecting from joining the forum. Are they looking to talk to and meet other people into tickling, or are they here just for role playing, stories, or videos. So I guess my answer would be, it depends on the situation.

 

[Redmage]

Anyway, if this happened to me I'd giggle, then send a PM stating something like "You'll never guess who THIS is! " A PM might sound weird if I supposedly know them irl, but I just think it's a slightly nicer way to go about it than just to put them on the spot in person. Give them a moment to themselves to go through the stages of "Ahh fuck! I've been found out!" to "Oh wait, what's HE doing here?" to "Well I guess this is kind of funny."

Well, you see, this is exactly why I would be cautious: I don't know that they would go through those stages. It seems to me that they would be just as likely to freak out at the thought of someone they knew seeing that side of them, flee the site, and never talk to you again.

It's always dangerous to assume that anyone else will react in the way that you would.

 

[GenericUsername]

Well, you see, this is exactly why I would be cautious: I don't know that they would go through those stages. It seems to me that they would be just as likely to freak out at the thought of someone they knew seeing that side of them, flee the site, and never talk to you again.

It's always dangerous to assume that anyone else will react in the way that you would.

Well hey, don't get me wrong, if I felt the person might react that way, or wouldn't want to hear from me in that sense, then I wouldn't contact them. However, two things to consider:

First, I am making the assumption that this person is socially outspoken and active on the forum. That would make it difficult to just avoid them, at least for me as I feel I have to enforce my anonymity strictly enough on here anyway without having to worry about hiding from people I actually know irl.

Secondly, the OP also states that the identity of this person would be "obvious", and as an example he mentions that the individual might have posted pictures. Well, that is the only way to be 100% certain of who they are. So I assume that this hypothetical person, then, is not only socially outspoken, but has also chosen to put him/herself out there with a photo. To me that is very much a conscious decision, and not one that would (or for that matter should) be made by someone who is nervous about their presence here.

As such, I'd rather just have it all in the open between me and that person, because just leaving it be might end even worse than if I just deal with it right away. Consider my whereabouts for a moment, and the fact that there are not a whole lot of Swedes on this forum. I'm hardly prolific around here, but an active member like that might well notice me even if I just stay away from them but keep posting in threads that interest me, and what then? If they try to interact with me in a thread, that could get all kinds of awkward and weird, not to mention if they choose to PM me... at that point I'd have no choice but to make a reveal, and then at best it would just seem odd that I've known about them all along but not said anything, and at worst, it might come off as a bit creepy. People are very quick to read a bunch of nonsense into your actions regardless of what you do, so as I've said, given my particular, hypothetical version of this scenario, I would prefer to just have it dealt with.

 

[Redmage]

Well, I think there's a third option: Don't avoid them, but don't tell them who you are here either. If they figure it out eventually then that's fine - how they handle it then is their own business.

 

[Maestro1874]

I agree it just depends on who it is.

 

[GenericUsername]

Well, I think there's a third option: Don't avoid them, but don't tell them who you are here either. If they figure it out eventually then that's fine - how they handle it then is their own business.

Well... like I tried to suggest, this could come back and bite you just as much. Actively engaging with them but not telling them who you are is essentially pretending to be someone else, and I think, especially if they then go on to figure out who you are on their own, that they would have a big problem with that. Try to imagine it from their perspective; they have been at a disadvantage to you without knowing what you know, they have potentially felt as if they've opened up when they've talked to you (even if it's been in public), so what are they supposed to think about the fact that you haven't revealed yourself? A paranoid person might think you're playing some kind of game, hell, even a sane person might question your motives and feel as if they have been lied to, and I know I would be seriously pissed off if someone did something like that to me.

 

[Teal]

I'd probably do... absolutely nothing.

 

[mntickler]

If I would say I was good friends with them I would tell them in real life. But just an acquaintance I would let it be and probably say nothing. Obviously we arent real friends for a reason and even tickling couldnt make it change lol haha.

 

[TripleH1]

One of my best friends who was a starving college student in L. A. did a realtickling video under the name Ryan. I had no idea until I saw her.....luckily.

 

[FLBowler]

I guess another question would be, has anyone here found anyone IRL here, any relation? Some insight to this question.

 

[TicklesFemales]

Again it would depend on who the person is and how close they are to me. If it is someone I have always wanted to tickle and I found her on here with pictures and I found out she was into tickling but I did not know that before then I would approach her when we were in private together and tell her that I recently saw her on this forum and that I wanted her to know that I am into tickling and if she is wanting to be tickled I would gladly tickle her sometime if she was okay with us having some tickle fun together. Otherwise if it were a family member I would not tell them I know they are here. I recently found an Uncle on Fetlife and have never said anything to him about it although he is not into the tickling fetish he has other fetishes that I know about now. So it does just depend on who the person is you know is in here.

 

[laughaholic89]

If I was really close friends with them already id probably slowly approach the topic cause most of my friends are like me and if we shared the same interest I think it would make us closer but I am not gonna lie that first talk would be akward.

 

[desdemona]

This actually sort of happened to me IRL only on Fetlife. I do have personal pictures there. One of my client's significant other sent me an anonymous PM and I was sweating bullets BIG time. I made a polite, somewhat cheeky reply and he outed himself. So we were on equal footing. Haven't seen him or heard from him since. And no I did not bring it up at work. I figure we're both just being discrete.