Wondering about 'lers with families

[seanc130]

A question occurred to me the other night. It's pretty commonly accepted that tickling is an important form of social interaction between parents and children. Pretty much every parent seems to do it.

What I wonder is, what if you had a tickling fetish *and* children? I mean not just a tickling fascination, but a full-blown sexual fetish, like I have. I don't think I would be able to do it to my kids--it would seem very gross and wrong.

Is there some kind of circuit in the brain that you get when you're a parent that would let you 'desexualise' the action in the appropriate context, or what? And if you never tickled your kids because of your fetish, would it have a negative effect on their social and emotional development?

Just something in my mind I thought I'd throw out there.

 

[Ticklish_Cop]

That's an excellent question. I don't have kids, but if I did, I don't think I could tickle them because tickling is sexual to me. It would seem wrong to me and I wouldn't do it. Would they miss that social interaction? Would the bond between us not be as strong?

Any psychology majors out there who can shed some light on this subject?

 

[ChosenofMystra]

as one 'ler to another

I wouldn't do it because tickling is a sexual thing to me and it would be a form of abuse to the child if one with a sexual interest in tickling were to act out that scenario upon their children.

I wouldn't even feel comfortable tickling anyone under the age of 18...just because it would seem like a form of sexual harassment in my eyes.

Just my two coppers though...

 

[Majestic]

Tickling and families

Daddy and I have two children. My daughter is 16 and we dont tickle her because she doesnt like to be touched unless it's hugs so we dont disrespect that. My son is 12 and he provokes it most of the time. He sees Daddy and I tickle one another playfully and now my son cant resist giving me a poke or a tickle when he catches me washing dishes or with my hands full. Yes, it's a fetish of Daddy and mine but it is also natural to tickle children IF you can seperate the sexual from the playful. Luckily enough, Daddy and I have that ability. We love to hear the laughter coming from our childrens lips. When it comes from them it's a sign of being happy and having fun. Daddy and I use our fetish in our lovemaking but we also use it just for the fun of it. If you CANT seperate the two then I agree you shouldnt do it but if you just enjoy the sound of the laughter and can do it without any sexual thoughts....it's a good thing.

 

[Redmage]

I don't have kids, but I don't think it necessarily has to matter. I think most adults can channel a sexual interest into non-sexual activities. For example, would someone with a foot-fetish have to avoid tying their kids' shoes? If someone sexualizes spanking, does that control how they discipline their kids? I think that as long as a parent keeps a firm grasp of boundary issues they can keep sexual tickling distinct from non-sexual tickling.

But I could be wrong.

 

[RobAce]

I too have a purely sexual tickling fetish. I can not tickle someone unless I feel physically attracted to them. Having said that, I do have 2 children, both girls right now aged 6 and 4. I can play tickle with them because at least for me there is a block in brain when it comes to any children, especially my own, when it comes to "enjoying" tickling. And there is a HUGE diffrence between blowing raspberries on my babies tummy then to the tickling I do in the bedroom.
If I do it with my children, nieces or nephews its only done in fun...only for a few seconds and NEVER restrained or prolonged.
Once children I am related to or otherwise reach the age about 12 to 13 I wouldnt tickle them at all, just because I feel they are getting old enough and I wouldnt want to be part of one of their counciling sessions in their later years.

For me I can not tickle anyone unless they get in the 21 and over range.
But then again, Im 34...so anyone with a "teen" still in their age is a major turnoff to me.

Rob

 

[wendynpeter]

My guess would be that the vast, vast majority of people with a sexual fetish only sexualize an activity with a sexually appropriate partner. If someone finds they are not separating their sexuality in that way, then that may be a big problem.

 

[BellaRisa]

I understand there are those who can't seperate such things, but for many of us tickling is only sexual with another adult, and one to whom we're attracted at that. Tickling one of my daughters is in no way sexual or inappropriate, just a mom having fun with her children

I notice that those who feel tickling one's children is wrong usually don't have any children. (I said usually, please no cards and letters... ) I suspect it sounds wrong hypothetically, but when you actually have your own baby you find yourself giving a few loving tickles and realize it's just fine :

Bella

 

[satin1]

'Erotic' or 'Sexual' tickling with my wife and having a tickle fight with the kids are 2 separate things entirely to me - and there is a definite dividing line in my mind between the 2.

As noted in a previous thread, there are different types of tickling - there are some that are nice (ie. erotic or stimulating), and there are some that are not so nice - ie. making the kids collapse in a fit of giggles at all costs - and don't even ask me for the scientific descriptions

For the nice/erotic tickling (and without going into too much detail here )there are certain tools, clothes and scenarios/situations that make it a controlled experience for me and it is something that is done in one place with one person - acting out a specific scenario

Having a tickle fight with the kids is having a tickle fight with the kids as far as I can see....

 

[maniactickler]

If i had kids, i wouldnt have a problem tickling them. i can seperate the sexual part easily.

 

[kis123]

I'm with bella on this one....with a slight twist!

I can definitely separate sexual from playful tickling. I've tickled my kids playfully with no sexual thought or feelings at all. When I want my urges fed, I play with the big boys-no kids!

I noticed during my kids' childhood, I would get disturbed when other adults would tickle my children. I wouldn't allow anyone near my daughter-I was concerned that someone would take advantage of her through tickling. In other words, it's okay for me to tickle my kids but I didn't always know the motives of others so I didn't let them get tickled by others without showing my obvious disapproval-therein lies the "twist!"

It sounds strange, but my kids were never molested or taken physical advantage of either.

 

[Mimi]

Laz and I have 4 kids who are all very playful in nature and love to wrestle and tickle and be physical. We engage in all sorts of physical play with them all the time...including tickling. In no way is it even remotely tied to our fetish. Never do I think of anything beyond parent child affectionate interraction when we goof off with them. It's just a natural bonding activity between parents and children.

I get sexually aroused when I kiss Laz, but when I kiss anyone else...my kids, my parents, my friends, family, etc, it's not sexual in any way. I get sexually aroused when I hug and cuddle with Laz, but when I hug or cuddle with my kids, or hug my family or friends, it is not sexual in any way. I get sexually aroused when I tickle or am tickled by Laz, but when I tickle or am tickled by my kids, family, or friends, it is not remotely sexual.

These acts are all sexual based on the person you share them with. It's no different when you have a fetish for tickling.

That said, if someone can NOT differentiate between tickling a partner or tickling kids, and it's ALWAYS sexual for them in any circumstance, then yes, they had best avoid tickling kids completely. For most of us with children, though, there is a huge difference, and we feel no different playing with our children than any non-tickling fetish parent would.

Mimi

 

[Capnmad]

While tickling is a turn-on to me in the right context, I can't imagine not having that context-specific switch...

Kissing your girlfriend is different than kissing your mom, grandma or sister.

Just like tickling, it's a form of touch that can be sexualized depending on context. Can you desexualize it? Gosh, I hope so... 'Cause if you're tonguing your grandma, buddy, you've got problems ("I was just trying to help her with her dentures! I swear!" ).

To me, it's as simple as that. I don't try to slip my mom the tongue, and I don't tickle anyone I'm not attracted to with even the slightest sexual intent.

For those who can't gain context specificity to their tickling, and your tickling is of a sexual nature, please don't tickle anyone but those you're attracted to.

 

[wendynpeter]

That said, if someone can NOT differentiate between tickling a partner or tickling kids, and it's ALWAYS sexual for them in any circumstance, then yes, they had best avoid tickling kids completely.
Mimi

... And seriously consider professional help, 'cause that's just not healthy. At all.

 

[Luv2Tickle69]

Tickling my daughters and tickling my wife are two entirely different entities.....for my daughters, it is to simply convey playful affection and make them laugh......and while I do much the same thing with my wife....it's what ELSE it does for me that changes the dynamic completely.....that dynamic is NOT a part of how I interact with my daughters (nor was that the case with any other child.....).

Separating the two (female adults/children) was never an issue or a problem.....

 

[kingp]

Total Disconnect....

I have two young boys and like it was said earlier "Its like kissing your girlfriend and kissing your Mom or your Sis" - Absolutely NON-Sexual with Any kid, period. I kiss my kids too, and hug them....all NON-Sexual.

For me, It is ONLY sexual if it is with an adult woman who is damn cute to me....

 

[FrenzyTickles]

Really great thread, thanks

Thanks for the thoughtful question
& the reassuring replies from those of you who have kids.


As for whether the lack of tickling would have an adverse effect:
I wasn't tickled as a kid that I remember (except for a few seconds a few times by a sibling when teens) and I don't believe the lack of it had any negative impact, there was more than enough "normal" affection bestowed

(though since I had the fetish as long as I remember I would've been mortified & would've avoided it actually, but since it wasn't done to me it was not an issue - if anything I was careful not to tickle my younger sibling more than a few seconds on a rare occasion as he would collapse in giggling fits immediately & I was always very careful not to overdo it since I could see he had zero tolerance ---

and though tickling was always a sexual matter to me,
I see what you're all saying, it was ENTIRELY different on the rare occasion I briefly tickled my younger sibling growing up

I remember hearing Mel Gibson (that's another thread) stating he tickled his kids -- calling it "the torture" (hopefully he didn't overdo it!!)
And I wonder if he also has the fetish, it sounded likely, but I assume he separated it also!!

Thanks again folks

 

[E-Dawg]

2 different things

To me, tickling a grown woman is totally different from tickling a child. Anytime I tickle a child (boy or girl), I'm just being playful and it doesn't arouse me sexually at all. I never, under any circumstances, act out any sexual behavior toward children. Although I love kids, I know where to draw the line. When I tickle my girlfriend, I do it to her because the way she squirms and laughs turns me on. Her feet are my favorite part of her body for me to tickle (and massage, too)!