" You're kidding. Fox? Nope. No way." Karen folded her arms tight and looked straight ahead, tight-lipped and livid. This was their third date; never in a million years had she suspected that he was a....
"Give me the remote"
"I am not watching FOX, Roger"
He began to tickle her.
"No, don't, seriously...I'm not in the mood." she said, trying to fight him off.
"You need to lighten up."
"Roger, don't tickle me, I'm serious...." She started to snort
"Give me the remote, Karen." He started motoring his fingers across her navel. She buckled forward and started to laugh.
"That's not going to work, Roger!" She giggled, trying not to.
"Are you going to let me watch the news in peace?
"Get off of me!" she squealed as his fingers crawled all over her body, showing her who was in charge. Unable to fight the invasion, she stiffened, paralyzed with laughter and slowly started falling to her side, as if in slow motion. Seeing his chance, he pushed her down to her stomach, straddled her and played with her long, lithe body as she pressed her cheek down into the couch and laughed.
"Ok, that's it, now I gotcha." he announced triumphantly. She started to kick.
"So that's how it's going to be, huh??" he muttered, annoyed as he removed his tickling hands to push back her legs, and sit back on them. Temporarily reprieved, she tried to speak.
"I had no idea you were one of....." Karen burst into laughter, unable to finish her insult as he wormed his fingers into her clenched armpits. She laughed, hyper panicked. " Get away from me!" she finally wailed.
"The Mueller Report, how did that work out for ya?" He wiggled his fingers faster.
"Oh stop that!......" she frantically begged, then rode out a long, long peal of laughter as he fingers flurried maddeningly around her armpits. After giving up the fight for a moment, she suddenly came alive and squealed in reply. "Barr ended the investigation!"
"Awwww, just like a liberal to blame it on someone else. Is that what they tell you on MSNBC?"
"No, that's what I say!"
"You liberals are something else." he said under his breath as he let his fingers roam her body, undefended.
"Oh don't start calling me a liberal now, Roger!" she begged, panicking. He galloped his fingers up and down her sides, and her words turned to laughter.
"Oh you don't want to be called a liberal? Ok, what do you want to be called now?"
Karen's eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth in full smile. "Just don't call me a liberal! I can't take that!"
Roger laughed, then taunted her, leaning forward and speaking directly into her ear.
"Liberal Liberal Liberal!" He wiggled his fingers faster and Karen convulsed with laughter
"Oh please Roger, don't do that!" He made it tickle worse, and Karen bawled with laughter.
"Liberal Liberal Liberal!......I never knew you were such a snowflake, Karen....."
"Oh God, don't call me that, either!" she brayed.
"Why not? You are a snowflake!"
"Please don't!"
"I touch you and you melt! A ticklish snowflake!"
"Oh my god Roger don't!"
" How'd you get so ticklish, snowflake?"
"I'm not a snowflake! I'm not a snowflake!" she tried to convince herself. He made it tickle worse.
"Kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy cooooo, Snowflake!" , he taunted, his index fingers scooping along her ticklish underarm skin, in perfect rhythm with his verbal teasing.
"Stop it!" she screamed
"Aaaaaaaaa-Kitcchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitcchy cooooo! Aaaa...."
"Oh please don't do it again!"
Now he brought in all of his fingers and wiggled them in rhythm.
"....aaaaaa-Kitcchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy kitchy coooooooooo, my liberal hottie!"
Karen was hysterical, writhing around and trying in vain to stop the tickling, but there was nowhere to go, he had her good. Roger just sat back and enjoyed the show.
"You look really hot right now, you know that?"
She couldn't answer. Roger suddenly got serious.
"I'm older than you, young lady, and I will not have you tell me about politics!" he suddenly bellowed, and dug into her sides with his fingers intent on tickling the fuck out of her.
"What do you want from me?!!!!" she screamed.
"I want you to admit that you are wrong!"
"But I'm not wrong!"
He wedged his hands under her and started flurrying his fingers maddeningly around her hip pockets , and her laugh exploded into panic and total surrender.
"Ok! Ok! You win! I'm wrong! I'm wrong!"
"You are, huh?" He dug in even more and tickled. "Tell me again."
Her laugh was high pitched and urgent, almost like a dog's yip. "I'm wrong! I'm wrong!"
He let up and spun her around on her back, pinning her. "Look at me."
She was breathlessly panting, but she looked at him.
"So you're wrong, huh?"
She nodded softly, batting her baby doll eyes, still catching her breath.
"Say it."
She looked in his eyes.
"I'm wrong. Please don't tickle me."
He started kissing her. "Say you're wrong." he growled, nuzzling her neck.
"I'm wrong." she moaned. It felt so good to suddenly be kissed. He was like an animal.
"Say it again." he whispered, suckling her boobies.
"I'm wrong! I'm wrong!" she writhed around at his kisses, she felt floods of ecstasy rushing to her groin.
He continued kissing down her body, making out with her belly as her hands held his head.
"I'm wrong! I'm wrong!"
He suddenly reached up, grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the bed.
"You're wrong, huh?" He gave a quick little kiss to the top of her hipbone and she flinched. Amused, he blew a column of hot air over it, and she giggled. He grinned and began to nuzzle her hipline, and she burst into laughter. As she laughed, he slipped his hand between her legs.
"Karen.....you're wet! This turns you on?!"
The feel of his hand down there almost made her pass out, she was so hyper sensitive. Keeping his warm hand over her groin, he went back up, pulled her hair back and kissed the conquered liberal hard and passionate on her mouth.
****
Now it was the aftersex.
As he got himself dressed, she was reclining along the length of the couch, bare legged, long legged and pretty, vacantly watching the TV. He picked up the remote and switched it to FOX, which was on commercial break.
"I thought we had an agreement." he said.
Karen looked annoyed.
"So you have your way with me, and now you're going to make me watch FOX?"
"That's exactly right", he laughed. "Scoot over."
Instead Karen lifted her legs so he could sit down. She put them across his lap once he was seated and went back to watching.
One thing about Karen, Roger thought to himself, she had the softest feet he'd ever seen. They were so soft, the skin of her soles rippled, creamy ripples, a tactile dream come true, just teasing and tempting in their sheer innocence and obliviousness, practically daring one to touch them. As she watched the TV unknowingly, his eyes scanned every inch of them. These pretty feet didn't know anything about the real world, he thought. That's why it was his duty as an American to tickle them.
He let his fingers graze along her sole; she giggled and pulled her leg back. "Hey!" she smiled, surprised. "No more tickling. You promised."
Roger grinned at her. "I never promised." He gave her sole a light caress with the pads of his fingers, but this time he had his other hand clasped tight around her ankle, and she hitched forward, smiling, her eyes frantically scanning to see what he was doing.
He pinched her big toe and wiggled it. "You see.....This liberal piggy had a rich daddy."
Karen started to giggle. "Leave my father out of it!"
He wiggled her toe some more, then moved to the next one. "And this liberal piggy watches Rachel Maddow. " He took his fingers and started lightly grazing the pads of her toes. Karen burst into giggles.
"Oh no don't do that!" she begged.
"You like your Rachel, don't you?"
Karen put both palms flat on the couch and tried to lift herself off, but fell back laughing.
"Oh stop it, pleeeease!"
"Tell me how you love watching Rachel...now tell me!"
"I love watching Rachel Maddow! I love watching Rachel Maddow!" she giggled. "Oh my god that really tickles!"
"Say it again."
"My toes!" she squealed helplessly.
"Say it!"
"I love watching Rachel! I love watching Rachel!
"Ok then, that's better!" He moved to her next toe, lightly kneading it as he pinched.
"And this liberal piggy, this liberal piggy wants to raise taxes...."
"No I don't..." she laughed, rolling around on her back, frantic.
" Yes, you do. Admit that you want to raise taxes."
"Roger stop it!' she squealed, surrendering to the giggles.
'Admit that you want to raise taxes! Admit this little piggy wants to raise taxes!"
'Ok! Ok! I want to raise taxes! I want to raise taxes!" she screamed with laughter.
"Say it again!"
"I want to raise taxes! Oh please, Roger, stop!"
But Roger wouldn't stop. He started flicking his finger under the pad of her next toe. "But this liberal piggy loves to go shopping, doesn't she? Doesn't this liberal piggy love to go shopping? " Karen just laughed. "Say it. Say that you love to go shopping."
Karen was writhing on her back. "I actually do love shopping" she admitted, deep in laughter.
"I know you do. But THIS liberal piggy..." he tugged on her pinky toe. "..this very pretty liberal piggy just found out she's got a MAGA boyfriend. And you know what? He's going to tickle her foot....weeee weeeee weeeeeeeeeeee......all the way home......"
Roger left her toes and scurried his fingers to the center of her soft, ticklish liberal sole, grazing his fingertips gently and steadily, up and down and all around her sensitive, creamy, ripply, progressive foot skin. She lunged forward and weakly clasped his arm with both hands in a physical act of begging, resting her head on his back so she could laugh in peace, desperately trying to peel and push his tickling hand off with her other foot.
"Tell me you're a liberal."
"I'm a liberal!" she screamed, laughing.
"Say you're a snowflake."
"Oh don't make me say that!"
"Say you're a snowflake! Say it!."
"Oh Roger, I'm a snowflake! I'm a snowflake!"
"Again!"
"I'm a snowflake, Roger!"
"You're just a ticklish liberal snowflake."
"I'm just a ticklish liberal snowflake! That's why I'm laughing! Because my conservative boyfriend is tickling me!"
That was it, he couldn't wait any longer; he lifted her foot up and began nibbling on her instep. Karen fell on her back, put her hands on her tummy and just laughed and laughed and laughed. He brought his fingers into it, tickling her sole wildly and looked back at her, writhing around happily, feeling every nuance of his fingers' touch. This only made him tickle her extra bad. And the more she laughed and every time she tightened her already-shut eyes even tighter indicating that he'd hit a spot, the more he couldn't wait to brag about it online, how he'd tickle tortured his liberal girlfriend into submission. He couldn't wait to see the comments.
"You going to let me watch FOX?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say!" she squealed.
"No more bitching and moaning?"
"We can watch FOX! We can watch FOX!"
"Say it again!"
"We can watch FOX, baby! Anything you want!"
"Tell me how you love FOX News, Karen."
Karen giggled girlishly, and Roger wasn't sure if it was because he'd just started pulling on her toes, or if just the question itself tickled her.
"I'm not going to say that." she laughed.
Roger couldn't believe she hadn't learned her lesson. This was what she was drawing the line over? We'll see about that, he thought. He dropped her ankle, lunged forward and sank all ten of his fingers into her undefended midsection, tickling her as diabolically and deliberately and wickedly as possible. Karen's eyes bulged out in shock, as if she were being attacked by an animal which, in a way, she was. Each finger manned a different ticklish spot, clasped and locked into her body, she, flat on her back with no escape possible, just having to lay there and take it, feeling a different spot every microsecond sending her into spasms of laughter........ fait accompli.
"Oh my god, I love FOX!" she screamed, joyously. "I love FOX soooo much!"
"Say you love FOX News, Karen."
"Please, baby.....let's watch FOX News.........I love it! I really love FOX News!"
He kept tickling.
"You sure?"
Karen was tickled weak and reacting in slow motion as she dealt with the relentless waves of laughter being forced out of her.
"Yeah, baby........." she wanly raised her hand, as if waving the white flag... "You win."
Roger abruptly stopped, got off her, and took the remote. Karen wiped the tears out of her eyes, and fixed her hair, as she sat up, exhausted.
When the commercial break ended, Chris Wallace, Shep Smith and Judge Napolitano were discussing the many paths to impeachment.
"Aha! You see?" Karen laughed. "This is what I was just saying! "
"I don't want to hear it."
"That's your people! They're even saying it! Aha!" Karen grinned, quite satisfied with herself.
Roger whirled around. "Don't make me tickle you."
Karen face turned solemn, and she nodded obediently.
They went back to watching. Now Tucker Carlson was on the screen, and doing a long monologue extolling the virtues of the economic plan of a 2020 candidate. When it turned out to be Elizabeth Warren that he was talking about, Karen laughed again.
"Gee, Roger, FOX really loves you tonight!"
Roger grumbled and threw in another "Don't make me tickle you."
Emboldened, Karen shot back, "You can tickle me all you want! Tickling me won't change the truth!"
Karen smiled triumphantly. But when Roger once again turned and glared at her, and reality hit, just the threat of what was quite fresh in her mind, it wiped the smile right off her face.
Carlson continued to wax poetic about Elizabeth Warren's sensible and patriotic politics, but soon he was back to race-baiting and fear-mongering, and Karen was revolted.
"Ok look, I'm not watching this shit, you understand? This is bullshit. This is like the Nazis, this is like 1984. I'm not watching it, or you can take me home now."
"Just like a liberal." he muttered, shaking his head.
"Oh shut up." she padded barefoot around the apartment, gathering her things.
"Ok, fine. Stop. Sit down. I'll watch the replay when you're sleeping, ok?
"Why do you watch this crap, Roger? You can't tell that is just lies and propaganda and, just, hate incarnate?"
"I said, you can turn it off! But hey, I'm not watching MSNBC either, ok? I'm not watching the Children's Television Workshop. What's fair is fair."
"When have you people ever been fair?" she sneered.
"I'm being fair now. C'mon sit down." He grabbed her hand. "Kaaaaaren....come on. Sit down. We'll watch something else, ok?
She stood there, her hand in his hand. She was tight-lipped and livid, and couldn't bring herself to look down at his face. She hated him. She couldn't believe he was....one of them. She still felt skittish, her whole body. She wanted to just take a long, hot bath, and wash his lingering touch off of her.
"C'mon baby, sit down. We'll watch something else."
"You're not going to tickle me anymore?"
Roger shrugged. "Come on, sit down."
"No, seriously, I can't take getting tickled. Every time I'm with an older guy, he ends up tickling me. What is the deal?"
"Well....you seemed like you kinda liked it before." Karen just scoffed, and turned away.
Roger looked up at his super-ticklish liberal girlfriend, half-dressed and really pissed. She looked h-o-t, he thought. Really hot. He guessed he could skip the politics for the night. Or at least turn it down from ten, to five.
"Last chance to sit here next to me. Come on......hey.....I got Jiffy Pop for later." He raised his eyebrows and put on his best puppy dog face. Karen broke ever so slightly and cracked her sneer into something like a weak Mona Lisa smile. It was late, and by the time she got home it would be after midnight. It looked like he'd gotten the tickling out of his system. But she was sticking her ground on one point.
"We won't watch Fox."
"And we won't watch MSNBC."
And so they ended up watching CNN instead, both of them tsking and sighing, and throwing popcorn at the screen through the rest of the night.
And they lived miserably ever after!
the end!
