kcantankerous
4th Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Messages
- 1,950
- Points
- 0
Hello All,
After realizing just how deep my shame for my obsessions ran (tickling and feet) I consulted my counselor - she is a behavioral professional that I employ for other reasons than this issue. I told her in generic terms my obsessions and solicited her advice as to how to proceed. She had the radical idea of just admitting it to those closest to me. The reason being to determine once and for all if there was anything for me to be ashamed about.
Since then I have slowly read some of my female friends in on my obsessions (meaning urge but not necessarily sexual). I reached out to about 8 close female confidants. In mass they each said that there wasn't anything for me to be concerned about. Mind you I told each of them just how deep my obsession/fetishes could be. I even told those who I had fantasies about tickling and or urges to ask if I could tickle/massage their feet and so forth.
I thought for sure such admissions would change their minds. This did not seem to be the case. They were more concerned that these feeling bothered me so much. Now, none of them said hey, I would love for you to . . . . . But the acceptance by them was a huge boost to my self confidence.
This all sounds like great news, however the ladies I confided in have been my friends for a significant period of time. They could very well be bias towards me. I imagine if I were to ask people less familiar with me, they would provide a more true reaction. The other thing I did not ask any of them was if they would let me tickle them or whatever now that they knew - no need to push one's luck. Furthermore, it helps that I haven't tried tickling any of them at any point in recent memory before said admissions.
I gave them each a brief overview as well as how the fun may or may not be arousing to me at some point. These admissions by me were via text conversations. My counselor wants me to be able to talk to her about these obsessions/fetishes in less general terms. I shudder to think of this as a possibility. I can't even look directly at her during the particular conversation.
I asked her if anyone ever walked up to her - without previously knowing her - and asked if she wanted to have sex? She said it happened once. I said that is how I would feel - though it is not the same - if I asked a woman (that I know or otherwise) if I could touch/tickle her feet.
I think the next step is to reveal this information to a wider group of friends. Again, in a non face to face conversation. Again, the reason for this is to slay the demon of shame surrounding something that has been a big part of my life. If it was purely sexual, which some that I tell may think it is, I would keep it to myself and potential relationship candidates.
However, I do think my friends who might be effected (or is it affected) should know that my obsession exists, and act in whatever way they are comfortable post knowledge.
I will let you all know how I fair.
K
After realizing just how deep my shame for my obsessions ran (tickling and feet) I consulted my counselor - she is a behavioral professional that I employ for other reasons than this issue. I told her in generic terms my obsessions and solicited her advice as to how to proceed. She had the radical idea of just admitting it to those closest to me. The reason being to determine once and for all if there was anything for me to be ashamed about.
Since then I have slowly read some of my female friends in on my obsessions (meaning urge but not necessarily sexual). I reached out to about 8 close female confidants. In mass they each said that there wasn't anything for me to be concerned about. Mind you I told each of them just how deep my obsession/fetishes could be. I even told those who I had fantasies about tickling and or urges to ask if I could tickle/massage their feet and so forth.
I thought for sure such admissions would change their minds. This did not seem to be the case. They were more concerned that these feeling bothered me so much. Now, none of them said hey, I would love for you to . . . . . But the acceptance by them was a huge boost to my self confidence.
This all sounds like great news, however the ladies I confided in have been my friends for a significant period of time. They could very well be bias towards me. I imagine if I were to ask people less familiar with me, they would provide a more true reaction. The other thing I did not ask any of them was if they would let me tickle them or whatever now that they knew - no need to push one's luck. Furthermore, it helps that I haven't tried tickling any of them at any point in recent memory before said admissions.
I gave them each a brief overview as well as how the fun may or may not be arousing to me at some point. These admissions by me were via text conversations. My counselor wants me to be able to talk to her about these obsessions/fetishes in less general terms. I shudder to think of this as a possibility. I can't even look directly at her during the particular conversation.
I asked her if anyone ever walked up to her - without previously knowing her - and asked if she wanted to have sex? She said it happened once. I said that is how I would feel - though it is not the same - if I asked a woman (that I know or otherwise) if I could touch/tickle her feet.
I think the next step is to reveal this information to a wider group of friends. Again, in a non face to face conversation. Again, the reason for this is to slay the demon of shame surrounding something that has been a big part of my life. If it was purely sexual, which some that I tell may think it is, I would keep it to myself and potential relationship candidates.
However, I do think my friends who might be effected (or is it affected) should know that my obsession exists, and act in whatever way they are comfortable post knowledge.
I will let you all know how I fair.
K