I find some (not all) of these responses as bordering on delusional... some kind of whomever-can-be-the-most-beta-wins contest.
. Or. perhaps some of you through no fault of your own are on the autism spectrum and have difficulty reading people. That's fine.
But to the first group I'd ask, have you ever kissed on a first date? If so, when
you kissed that girl on that first date, weren't
you the one who committed what I'm reading above as "Crossing any touch boundary"? Didn't that kiss of
yours violate the line about "DON'T TOUCH STRANGERS. Just don't"? And have you ever tickled someone without first saying, "I'm about to tickle you now; is that okay?" (If so, how dare you? For my first witness, I call... you.)
Or, have you ever gotten naked and had sex with someone on a first date? If you ever have, were the 5 sexual positions you did with her okay, but a split second poke would have been over the line... since it was
a first date?
The reality is whether it's a poke in the side on a first date, French kissing on a first date or intense sex on a first date, none of those are right or wrong based on some list of pre-set, first date
touching rules. On the contrary -- they all feel right vs. feel wrong based on the flow, back-and-forth, preamble touching, mood, momentum, vibe, shared feeling, interpersonal connection and correctly reading people. This is common sense. Take for example a casual first touch, then she returns it, then the touching escalates in frequency and intimacy -- then it escalates a whole lot more -- the notion that a split second poke
at that point would still be 100% of the time inappropriate -- because it's a
first date -- would make no sense to normally socialized people. (I don't think it even would make sense to my detractors in their real lives; I think they just get off on the virtue signaling of typing the lecture in a comment section.)
Btw, I'd read none of these responses until this morning. What actually happened last night? I simply wasn't that attracted to her, and the level of undefinable "repartee" to which I referred in the OP was fine, but not stellar. So I bailed on my plan. In the end, I
did adjust my actions to the situation, exactly as I'm advising anyone to do.