Ok, lets bring the white elephant, the purple one and the polka dotted one out also.
People want someone to step and be real.
Someone who is in the "hierarchy" of cliques in the forum to stand on a mountain and say yes, those people who see the cliques are right.
Ok. Fine. Ill do it.
THERE ARE CLIQUES/FRIENDSHIPS/CLOSE KNIT FRIENDS ON THIS FORUM!
Hello, Im Robace252 and I belong to or talk a lot with the following cliques/groups:
Silly people, P&R people, TK Discussion people, video people, Gen Discussion people, TMF Radio people, Images people, vid producers, artists, writers, MODS type people, Lurkers who never post in the open, people that have no established close knit friends, people who have been to gatherings, people who have never been to gatherings, and yes even people who hate cliques/groups...my PM box is almost bursting at the seams, I am about 40 away from the 500 limit.
I could ramble off a list of all the individual members of these groups if that would make anyone feel better, but that would take me several hours to write out.
The thing is....I talk to all of them. They all talk to each other even. Now perhaps a few members here and there have closer ties because of age, race, life experiences, divorces, parents and a whole collection of other things. People who like f/f, m/f, f/m, m/m or furry or whatever. But that is life. It happens. Within these groups are members who are set in their ways and get along fine but do not "joke around" with others because they are happy with what they have. And thats fine too.
If people want to call them cliques...you know what that fine. What ever words make people happy and feel however they want to feel is fine by me, not that it matter because my opinion means exactly the same as anyone else's around here.
The reason why some people see no cliques is because they are welcoming people into their groups with no pre-judgements, and no conditions. Therefore they do not see it. And I agree.
While others see cliques because of inside jokes, cute sayings on signature lines and such, as well as the correspondence between people. If that is what make you think there are cliques, I agree that there are.
So again I have a quandary. To clique or not to clique...that is the question.
Me, I could care less.
I have friends, and continue to add more everyday. I have people that hate me, and continue to add a few more everyday. You know what, thats life.
Like the old song goes..."Its alright now, Ive learned my lesson well. You cant please everyone, so you've gotta please yourself" (not my cancer prevention type of pleasing...thats later on)
People are going to take being called a clique personally, and perhaps there are good reasons. Its called stereotyping. Something a lot of people would hate to have thrust upon themselves. Just because someone has a lot of friends, has inside jokes, talks off-line, meets in person with or whatever does not necessarily make them "clique-ish". What happens if they just happen to be a great person, friendly and welcoming. They do not want people to assume they are uppity, and have people they would like to befriend not want to because they warned about the evil cliques and cliquers.
Perception is word. And one person is not anothers. Everyone looks at the relationships and dynamics here on the forum in different ways.
Ahh well I have a brilliant idea. How about a little compassion and think of those other people and their feelings too?
So I should lessen my forum enjoyment, change my mannerisms and participation to show compassion to peoples feelings that I do not know or know if they even care what I do? I can not assume every single person that reads my post may be upset because I mention Shemp (does not exist I'm told) or sperm eggs? I cant do that nor would I ever want anyone else too. Yeah there are inside jokes and relationships that not even I the "pseudo-celeb", wanna be, asshole, friend or whatever people want to think of me, that I am not privy too. And it does not bother me. I focus on the relationships I have and work on getting to know others. No one has ever said no one can join in the fun and messing around. If we are talking about namecalling with "loser" and "pathetic" or "whiners" well, I can not quite say I agree or disagree. Because as it is said for people to stand up and be real....both sides can take heed to that.
Where one might be taking it personally and lashing out, the other side is as well. One side may very well be acting cliquish in defense, but the other side is just as much whining about the whole situation.
I look it at like a big house party, where some are content on standing outside hearing the fun and they walk away and complain about those jerks who never invite me even though they know I live next door and had nothing to do. But yet....that person never even knocked on the door to let them know they were interested or wanted to join in. Its up to the individual to make it known they wish or would like to be acknowledged. I can't go around PMing every single one of the 77,000 members asking if they would like to have a private inside joke with me, or put in their signature pic "IM ROBACE'S RADIO *****". In fact several people that I have PMed in the past either did not respond, or if they did it was "Sorry, not much time for TMF friends I have real life ones I dont need internet friends."
Do I feel insulted about being associated with cliques...well first off I do in a sense because I have friends that do nothing more than attempt to reach out to people to make more friends and have fun....and for that they get called all sorts of names. Heck I have had people PM me and tell me they have a less opinion of me because as in the words of ones person "I slum around with Crystal Light". So perhaps this whole episode may not seem like an insult, many are taking it that way. Some are upset and others happy as evident by the words and PM's of support going to those that "outing" the cliques.
On the other hand...I could care less what anyone else thinks. I am here to enjoy myself, make a lot of friends I might not otherwise EVER had got to meet and have an extreme amount of fun while I do it.
Just remember one thing...
Fair is a carnival not life. That goes here on the forum as well.
Not everyone is going to be accepted by everyone...but before people start bashing...give others a chance to get to know you, or get to know them.
And on more of a level than who is "clique" savvy and not.
Rob
