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People Doing the Job They Hate

Bohemianne

Bohemianne

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May 11, 2007
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Well some days ago this has been a casual conversation with a friend.

This is common. Most people stay permanently on jobs they hate and they can't seem to do anything about it, or there are factors. Why so? :zombie:

You see, if people are doing what they really love the most, I would assume a great leap in this planet. No need for whips and bloodshed.

We know that this is not applicable to all. I assume opinions. Please discuss. Thanks.
 
My father worked at a job that he hated for 16 years. He finally quit after it gave him bleeding gastric ulcers, even though it meant a loss in income. His best advice to me was, "If you can make a living at a job that you love, do it."
 
Hate may be a bit of a strong word unless you’re involved with some serious interpersonal issues, in which case you should try to move on.

Boredom is probably more common especially when the years turn into decades, and things get more complicated when marriage, kids, and other family issue enter into the picture. The best thing to do is to try and diversify within your field of choice; keep up with the latest changes and apply them whenever possible. Doing so will keep you marketable for new opportunities & invaluable to your current employer, and thus make it less likely for you to end up hating your job.
 
"Hate" is just the description. It's a discussion on lives of people. There are people docked into barges away from home for years, or maybe operating an elevator for 8 hours doing just that and nothing more.

-o0o-

Mils, that's sad to hear.
 
There are very few reasons for remaining in a dead-end remedial job indefinitely, at least in the US anyway. Anyone that claims they’re too old or too poor to advance themselves in some way is only making excuses. There are too many opportunities for personal advancement in this country and too many examples of individual who have proven it to be possible.
 
It's not necessarily about meager jobs, incapacities and pay. There are times that it's all about the designation itself. People who are not involved in major decision making are at times unhappier. On the contrary, there are those who are handling very deadly positions but prone to hypertension.
 
milagros317 said:
Yes, it was sad. He was earning much more at the job he hated than he could otherwise. It clearly wasn't worth it, but it took him a long time to see that.
Click to expand...

The big culprit is family responsibility I suppose. My grandpa once said: "when you're a family man, you have no right to get lazy on a job."
 
TonyInMyThroat said:
There are very few reasons for remaining in a dead-end remedial job indefinitely, at least in the US anyway. Anyone that claims they’re too old or too poor to advance themselves in some way is only making excuses. There are too many opportunities for personal advancement in this country and too many examples of individual who have proven it to be possible.
Click to expand...

I understand what your saying here but:

1. It has been proven that it is much harder to get a new job from the age of 50 and up because companies don't want to hire since they think they are getting a bad deal. They assume you are getting ready for retirement.

2. Many people go out and apply for jobs every day but that doesn't mean they get them. If there were enough jobs around the unemployment rate wouldn't be so hi.

3. Yes there are opportunities for advancement, but maybe not in a career one wants to be in, or maybe at a back breaking cost. There are many examples of rags to riches here in the US, but many more of people slaving away unhappily there whole lives.

Trust me, if I could get a job doing what I want to do I would get one, but I've been applying for a job in my field for two months now with no such luck, and I have a feeling it will take me a long time to find one based on the above results. Currently I have a job, but though there is room for growth I don't want to be there forever. Your idealisim is refreshing but that is not the way the world is. I have seen many people do things they didn't want to do but had to. I have also seen many people try to advance all their lives and get no where.

America isn't as wonderful and nice as it seems. There are lots of dark secrets about it.
 
Musicroxmysox said:
Your idealisim is refreshing but that is not the way the world is. I have seen many people do things they didn't want to do but had to. I have also seen many people try to advance all their lives and get no where.
Click to expand...

In a way it is true. Idealism is usually true for fresh workers, and as years pass by, this will gradually change once they get absorbed by a company's system or practice. And even more if the company's clients have different "needs." As years pass by, there are some underground options, and workers get hardened by experience. Then one day they find themselves far from the idealism they once knew.
 
Well both my parents went with jobs they enjoy. Luckily my dads "dream job" also earns him quite a bit of money, which in turn gives ME a better opportunity in terms of getting a good education and focus on what I want to do, since I don't feel the pressure to get a job to help support the family, or for that matter move out and get my own place.

My parents keep stressing to me how important it is to find a job that you love, so that's what I'm currently pursuing, but for this reason I haven't given much thought to what Bohemianne speaks of. That is, not until recently...

I've got a very close friend in the US. I met him online some 6 or 7 years ago I think, but it feels like I've known him all my life. About a year and a half ago his mother died in cancer, and he was forced to give up his university studies to go and take care of his father. Since his father was deeply depressed and wasn't able to work at the time, my friend had to get a crap job just to support the family. His dad has recovered from the loss now, but my friend is now stuck with another crap job since the dads income turned out to be insufficient to support the entire family. That means no taking up his studies again, and he feels as if he's pretty much "stuck". He does what he has to since to him family comes before his own well being, but he is gradually turning more and more bitter, and it is heartwrenching to see the gradual change. =/ His nephew who lives in the same house and who is another close friend of mine has also started to notice this recently. Hopefully things will improve for them, but it looks pretty bad right now.
 
Musicroxmysox said:
Your idealisim is refreshing but that is not the way the world is. I have seen many people do things they didn't want to do but had to. I have also seen many people try to advance all their lives and get no where.
Click to expand...
That’s true, “ideal” is a goal that may never be obtained; “better” is always obtainable if you’re willing to put the time into getting there. Doing nothing and sulking in your own misery is inexcusable in a country where the opportunity to better yourself is always accessible (not necessarily easy, but there none the less).
 
I love my job but I dislike my boss immensely. Holding out for his retirement....
 
Ideally....

Ideally, someone would know his or her desired occupation/career path from an early age. This didn't happen for me. I floundered in college, went thru some years of depression, and I'm now working at a job I like, but am very over-qualified for. If I woke up tomorrow with a strong desire to do a certain job, I'd take the steps necessary to make it happen, but I just don't have that desire right now, and I really haven't ever had that idea of a "dream" job that was realistic.

That being said, I'm pretty happy in my job, and that's a good thing.
 
I decided a long time ago that I was going to do what made me happy in life, to make a living. I knew it wasn't going to happen overnight and that it would take constant focus, determination, and hard work. As a pretty cynical person, one would think maybe I would have taken a more practical path in life, but seeing my family members spend their lives in jobs that cause them immense stress and unhappiness, I didn't want to follow those steps.

I went to school for a few years, but had to drop out due to family issues that were consuming most of my concentration. I can't go back until I'm 24 as to apply for financial aid you need one or both parents' tax information if you're under that age. My mom refuses to help me out and my father has never paid taxes. That said, I believe that to work in journalism, while a degree is helpful, it's not necessary. I plan on going back to school to take some classes in digital journalism, and maybe some other computer skills classes, but I don't like the idea of wasting more years taking classes that teach me nothing I can't learn on my own.

Right now, yeah I work in fast food. I work the job of pathetic, lazy morons and the way people look at me and treat me is what gets me the most, but I tell myself it's temporary. In the meantime, I write and edit comics for MTJ, intern with a Chicago magazine, and write for a folk music website. It's all more for the experience and to hone my writing skills than anything else right now. Oh, and the connections. It's all about who you know. If you can get someone important to give you a chance, they are going to care more about if you've actually got the chops and the experience than if you graduated from some no-name school.

So far, based on my age, I think I have covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time and I haven't let anything break my focus. I have complete confidence that I will be writing for a living at some point. I'm planning on sooner than later. 🙂

I guess the moral of this story is, if there is something you really want to do with your life, even if it seems ridiculous or impossible, I think there's a way to do it. It might not be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.
 
i think hating a job is somewhat dependent upon the people one works with. I hd a dream job once and by quite the accident i fell right into it. I was doing the things i loved best but i suddenly found myself so blinded by that love that i was getting screwed in the paycheck department. I got to learn that my dream job wasn't such a great dream afterall. For a long time i didn't really know what i wanted to do next. All i'd ever wanted to do since i was a little kid was paint for people... now what? I worked a few jobs here and there and I hated them all. What i realized was the common theme in all of them was that they really amped my social anxiety up through the roof. I had one job where every day that i had to work with a certain manager i found myself crying on the way to work.
I fell into the job i had now rather by accident, or rather just out of amusement (for sure i wouldn't get the job). I wound up being hired, being trained, working it and discovering after i started that i really loved it. The people are great and the work is both easy and satisfying. So maybe a big part of doing the job you love is by trying all kinds of different avenues instead of being stuck on just one path.
 
TonyInMyThroat said:
Doing nothing and sulking in your own misery is inexcusable in a country where the opportunity to better yourself is always accessible (not necessarily easy, but there none the less).
Click to expand...

Just curious....what group of people is just sitting around sulking and not doing anything. I think the group your discussing is a rather small portion of people compared to the group working every day to find something better.
 
Musicroxmysox said:
Just curious....what group of people is just sitting around sulking and not doing anything. I think the group your discussing is a rather small portion of people compared to the group working every day to find something better.
Click to expand...
I’m referring to the large numbers of individuals I’ve listened to complain ad nauseum since entering the work force in the early 70’s. And I’ve been guilty of singing the same song at various times as well. But eventually you should get to the point where you can’t even believe your own excuses.

You claim it’s a very small group, but there are still too many relying on corporations, unions & government for security without any contingency plan. The more options you create for yourself the less you need to depend on others.
 
I worked at a job I absolutely hated for over a year. Had to make myself get up out of bed every morning.

Gotta do what ya Gotta do to pay the bills.
 
My dad did the work-the-job-he-hates gig for 30 years. He did it because he made good money to support his family and because he was stellar at what he did. He didn't want to spend his free time getting a degree because he had never been to college and was afraid at being too stupid to handle it. Guess that's his reason...
 
i think far too many people live quiet lives of desperation because of fear and complacency. many would rather endure their miserable lives than face the fear of the unknown and do what needs to be done to change their lives. i've always embraced change and been a change agent, so it's been difficult for me to understand how one could live in a situation, be it a job, relationship or even life circumstance, that makes them miserable unless they really had no other choice. as i see it, there are few situations in which we really have no choice. i feel bad for those people, but most of us are just unwilling to examine our lives and undergo the painful process of really discovering who and what we want to be and do with our lives.

i understand this painful process all too well having gone through it twice--once when i left home for college and had to figure out who i was independent of the indoctrination of my family and the culture in which i was raised and now again as i'm recovering from a car accident that radically changed my world in the blink of an eye. daily i'm learning to accept myself with the abilities, limitations, growth and freedom i possess as i discover the person i am becoming and work to rebuild an abundant life worth living. i cannot settle for a life of mediocrity. quality of life has always been far more important to me than quantity.

the other stumbling block i see is that people place money and things above people and happiness. let me be poor and loved any day over wealthy and miserable. prior to my accident, i learned that disposable income breeds complacency. i'm happy to be where i am right now. i am neither too poor to be concerned about financial insecurity nor too wealthy to become complacent. i happily live within my means. i've had the opportunity to shift my career in a direction that would have doubled my salary but also doubled the number of hours i would've had to work. no thanks. its more important to me to have a life than to have money. having experienced it firsthand, i know that we have to make the most of each day as we never know when the life we know will instantly and forever be changed.
 
playgirl said:
i think far too many people live quiet lives of desperation because of fear and complacency. many would rather endure their miserable lives than face the fear of the unknown and do what needs to be done to change their lives. i've always embraced change and been a change agent, so it's been difficult for me to understand how one could live in a situation, be it a job, relationship or even life circumstance, that makes them miserable unless they really had no other choice. as i see it, there are few situations in which we really have no choice. i feel bad for those people, but most of us are just unwilling to examine our lives and undergo the painful process of really discovering who and what we want to be and do with our lives.

i understand this painful process all too well having gone through it twice--once when i left home for college and had to figure out who i was independent of the indoctrination of my family and the culture in which i was raised and now again as i'm recovering from a car accident that radically changed my world in the blink of an eye. daily i'm learning to accept myself with the abilities, limitations, growth and freedom i possess as i discover the person i am becoming and work to rebuild an abundant life worth living. i cannot settle for a life of mediocrity. quality of life has always been far more important to me than quantity...
Click to expand...

Bravo, Playgirl. Well said.

-Xionking
 
playgirl said:
i think far too many people live quiet lives of desperation because of fear and complacency. many would rather endure their miserable lives than face the fear of the unknown and do what needs to be done to change their lives. i've always embraced change and been a change agent, so it's been difficult for me to understand how one could live in a situation, be it a job, relationship or even life circumstance, that makes them miserable unless they really had no other choice. as i see it, there are few situations in which we really have no choice. i feel bad for those people, but most of us are just unwilling to examine our lives and undergo the painful process of really discovering who and what we want to be and do with our lives.

i understand this painful process all too well having gone through it twice--once when i left home for college and had to figure out who i was independent of the indoctrination of my family and the culture in which i was raised and now again as i'm recovering from a car accident that radically changed my world in the blink of an eye. daily i'm learning to accept myself with the abilities, limitations, growth and freedom i possess as i discover the person i am becoming and work to rebuild an abundant life worth living. i cannot settle for a life of mediocrity. quality of life has always been far more important to me than quantity.

the other stumbling block i see is that people place money and things above people and happiness. let me be poor and loved any day over wealthy and miserable. prior to my accident, i learned that disposable income breeds complacency. i'm happy to be where i am right now. i am neither too poor to be concerned about financial insecurity nor too wealthy to become complacent. i happily live within my means. i've had the opportunity to shift my career in a direction that would have doubled my salary but also doubled the number of hours i would've had to work. no thanks. its more important to me to have a life than to have money. having experienced it firsthand, i know that we have to make the most of each day as we never know when the life we know will instantly and forever be changed.
Click to expand...

I have to agree with you. I had a job that paid much better $$ and I was miserable, tired, and hardly ever home. I know I can do better but I am content for now.

And here's to my boss retiring soon, lol
 
TonyInMyThroat said:
... but there are still too many relying on corporations, unions & government for security without any contingency plan. The more options you create for yourself the less you need to depend on others.
Click to expand...

That's true.
 
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