giantfan121262
1st Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2003
- Messages
- 2,033
- Points
- 0
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.
>For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following 'Rules' on our front door.
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy and walks on all fours. Although they doesn't speak clearly,
they communicate extremely well, especially cats.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for
money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does
not apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using
friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the
latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars
for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!!!
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and
having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but
sarcasm.
>For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
>necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following 'Rules' on our front door.
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy and walks on all fours. Although they doesn't speak clearly,
they communicate extremely well, especially cats.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for
money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does
not apply to cats), never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using
friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the
latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars
for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!!!
