Gossip-Innuendo-Rumors-Lies...

That will be the topic for Tuesday's Making Friend Online on TMF Radio at 11 PM EST.

So tell us: Have you been the victim of any of the above on or offline?

Have you inadvertently been a party to repeating things that you have heard that later turned out to be false?

Have others done this to you?

Share your stories here, in PM to me (privacy guaranteed), or call in to the show on Tuesday night at 347-838-9015.

Tracy and I will share some of our experiences and discuss how gossip
is harmful in our everyday relationships and what we can do to avoid falling victim….

Join us if you can….

Ooooooooooooooooooh!!! The story I could tell. But I won't because I'd get in so much trouble here.

I have already received several PMs from folks...


keep em coming or feel free to respond here...

AnnieHall said:

Let's see...

According to rumors I've heard, I'm an underage boy with breast implants that likes to bully others and has no idea how to please a man. I'm also probably dating a few mods apparently. Also, Crystal and I are lesbian lovers.

And I have no feet. But that rumor is true 🙂

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ILY!

AnnieHall said:

...I'm an underage boy with breast implants that likes to bully others and has no idea how to please a man. I'm also probably dating a few mods apparently. Also, Crystal and I are lesbian lovers...

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...I didn't know you were underage!

Seriously, though... people have actually said that crap? Unbelievable. They are unaware, then, of the hundreds of NEST attendees over the past few years who've presumably met you in person?

I'm unaware of any rumors being spread about me. I've been called a pretentious, opinionated asshole, completely unconcerned with the feelings and well-beings of others, selfishly preoccupied with my personal emotional issues... but those aren't "rumors," they've been issued to my face, directly. People don't usually talk to other people behind my back, about me; they just say things like "go talk to him, and see for yourself."

Venray, can you still use this sort of material if it's totally accurate?

Yes of course....

I have been rumored to be gay, callous and unfeeling while only looking out for myself, and much older than I really am while perving young ladies. I consider these to be untrue and not worth the time to answer. Those who have met me can decide for themselves.


And I am Crystal's lesbian lover. But that rumor is true.

kered said:

I have been rumored to be gay, callous and unfeeling while only looking out for myself, and much older than I really am while perving young ladies. I consider these to be untrue and not worth the time to answer. Those who have met me can decide for themselves.


And I am Crystal's lesbian lover. But that rumor is true.

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You're the nicest guy ever! -laughs- How is your name getting sucked into rumors?

PurrBast said:

You're the nicest guy ever! -laughs- How is your name getting sucked into rumors?

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Easy to answer, really. I'm over 50 and never been married to some people equals gay. Callous by the way they see me tease with friends, seeming older because I like old movies and music from before the 1960,s while striking up conversations with young ladies such as yourself.

However, Crystal and I are still lesbian lovers.

venray said:

Have you inadvertently been a party to repeating things that you have heard that later turned out to be false?

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Due to personal experience, I absolutely hate gossiping about people. That doesn't mean I can't discuss someone with another person however, but speaking my mind about someone is entirely different from the VERY (I stress very) dubious line "So I heard person X...", a sentence which more often than not takes a turn for the worse when we are talking about gossip and rumours.

venray said:

Have others done this to you?

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Yes. Back in 7th grade I encountered a bunch of bullies in the hallway who were harrassing some poor student. Naturally (at least I thought it was natural at the time) I stepped up and defended him without really thinking of the consequences that action would have for me. I did this on numerous occasions when others were harrassed, which would have been good and well if it wasn't for the fact that I only stood up for others, but no one stood up for me.

I ended up being targeted by basically the entire school in the end. Mostly because there was a dozen or so people who spread rumours and lies about me because they felt I got in their way, which made others jump on the bandwagon and target me as well. This went on until I left the school after finishing 9th grade. Those were 3 hellish years under which I suffered both physical and psychological trauma. Since this topic is about rumours, gossip and whatnot, I guess I should focus on the psychological aspect.

I think I had it all done to me. Pretty much every humiliating statement you can think of. I was called out to be homosexual (I am not talking down on homosexuals here, but in the context it was meant in a derogatory way), people claimed I never showered, that I played with barbie dolls and whatever other toys that could emphasise my being a big baby that deserved to be bullied, and I believe even my penis size was debated at some point. I was also accused of being an illegal immigrant because my last name is latinized, but that didn't really turn out into something they could bully me for so they gave up on that after a day or two. I could go on with things they did, but this is what I recall on the top of my head, and there isn't really a point in making a long list either way. Safe to say, I had my fair share of rumours and lies spread out about me and I know how that can make people who would normally treat you as a decent human being shy away and instead treat you like some outcast.

I guess I should be lucky the rumours never really spread into my own class... At least not that much, there were like two or three people going after me, and the girls talked about me behind my back a lot but they never really did anything mean other than that. Some of my friends got targeted together with me though, so I ended up alienating myself from everyone - including them. I can take the abuse relatively well, but I couldn't stand watching others get targeted BECAUSE of me...


If there have been rumours and gossip about me later on in life it is nothing that ever reached back to me (aside from one time that is not all too relevant to get into right now). But I don't really think there's a problem with it anymore... I mean what's there to gossip about anyway? I'm not a very interesting person, at least not on the surface, and because of the past experiences I have a really hard time opening up these days, so the surface is what most people will ever know.

I've been rumored to be both K-Skate and amk714. Sometimes both at once.😱

Amusing ones aside, there was a particular incident I was a somewhat target of. Not certain if the other person involved wants to discuss it opening, so I'll not.

No matter what, 'tis sad some have little to do but spread scuttlebutt about.

See..now I Knew this was happening to a lot of people around here and the whys and ow to deal will be discussed on tomorrow's show.....

Thanks for all of the responses and PMs we have received so far....

Oh, the bullshit things I've heard about me! ...and from whom and how wrong they are is almost more hilarious...

In fact, the last two female friends I made here, shortly after we became acquainted, were immediately approached by folks carrying years-old smears -- folks I know who've never given a damn to get to know me or be bothered with things like truth when they could afford to ignore it... The fact that said female friends were sensible enough to listen to the facts and come to their own conclusion told me something wonderful about them, and the fact that we remain close friends should tell the slanderers something about me.

And so, I'd just like to offer a little something really very simple and, I think, self-evident on the topic, since Ray's trying to tackle it here, of all places...

Gossip and slander are pernicious and continuous attacks on a person with many possible repercussions (emphasis on continuous). If you don't stop it early, it's too late. Therefore, when someone accuses the victim defending themselves from the slander that they are to blame for "not leaving it alone", it exposes the accuser as foolish. The victim is responding to a continuous attack on their reputation that can damage their prospects and kill relationships. And if you use this accusation after you have initiated, promoted, or even tacitly approved the slander by your inaction, it reveals you as hypocritical and quite possibly, sadistic.

People should likewise become mindful of where their involvement in gossip and lies cross the line into the legal definitions of defamation and misrepresentation (both intentional and negligent), for the sake of themselves and others connected to its initiation and promotion. I have.

"Gossip-Innuendo-Rumors-Lies..." forms the acronym "G.I.R.L."

Heh!

Sorry -- no point to that -- just random observation! 😀

Capnmad said:

"Gossip-Innuendo-Rumors-Lies..." forms the acronym "G.I.R.L."

Heh!

Sorry -- no point to that -- just random observation! 😀

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ROFLMAO...now THAT was unintentional....

As far as I know...

Nothing like that from the folks on here... but in real life... you betcha that has happened.

There have been rumors flying around that I have a part time job as a male dancer, and that I have a 12 inch dingaling.

unclebill said:

There have been rumors flying around that I have a part time job as a male dancer, and that I have a 12 inch dingaling.

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Happily, those rumors have not been denied.

Where do I start? There are still people after all these years who think I'm really a guy. They later added that Drew is really a tool to support my false female status. There are people who've claimed I've said or done several things over the years...both here and in everyday life.

I even had one bitch (she really is one too) claim that I was having an affair with a priest with whom I was working. People were dumb enough to believe it. So, I finally quit my position in the parish to shut them up.

I regret to say that I've occassionally shared in such nonsense myself over the years. So many people saying that something is true must make it so, right? Yeah, right! We all get duped. Some of us are dumb enough to pass it on to others.

We live and (hopefully) learn.

This is why I'm a hermit. Yes, it creates an awesome air of mystery about me that I can use to inflate anything even remotely cool about me into something moderately cool about me, but overall by restraining my appearance and interaction with people to important or significant moments has allowed me to avoid this kind of crap...because from what I've observed, when this sort of thing happens, it works like a brand and it follows you everywhere...and I'm not about to risk contaminating the only haven I have.

That's also why I cultivate an image about me, because if anything is gonna stick, I'd prefer it be something both authentic AND safe. Everybody here knows I'm a pervert and porn addict, but they also know that I'm completely harmless. This is fine with me because this way people know what to expect for themselves as well as from me, and so there's no unexpected surprises.

I wish I could take the nonchalant "whatever/people are gonna say what they're gonna say" approach, but my well-deserved hypervigilance says that's a proposition that gambles everything of worth on a chance...not a safe bet in my opinion.

unclebill said:

There have been rumors flying around that I have a part time job as a male dancer, and that I have a 12 inch dingaling.

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Rumors that you start about yourself will be a topic for another show...

Theres an ugly rumor suggesting that i might really be a bleeding heart liberal.