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Ask Alchemy (you know you want to)

alchemy

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Nov 1, 2004
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Ok!
Time to ask ol Alchemy anything you might have ever wanted to know.
I did this at The Theater and it was a smashing success. I mean, tens of people...sometimes even twelves of people participated..and their curiosity was mildly subdued with highly questionable answers from yours truely.
There are a lot more people here so I'll try to answer them in as timely a fasion as I can.
Patience grasshoppers...that is your first lesson. Now...

ASK AWAY.

:firedevil :firedevil :firedevil :firedevil :firedevil :firedevil :firedevil :firedevil
 
Ok, we don't know each other but have Ohio friends in common (shoots him mischievious smile). A certain someone wants you invited to next summer's party--tell me why you think you're worthy...😉

XOXO
 
steph said:
Ok, we don't know each other but have Ohio friends in common (shoots him mischievious smile). A certain someone wants you invited to next summer's party--tell me why you think you're worthy...😉

XOXO

Wow...XOXO? That's a pretty cool name there. Wait a...that isn't your name at all is it?! Ha ha...nice try steph. I mean, XOXO would be a pretty cool name to have...and nobody would want to play tic tac toe with you...ever. You'd be all like, "my name is XOXO!" And they'd be like "Wow, with a name like that, she must be the master of the X's the the O's". Then you get to watch them literally tremble with fear of your awesome presence!
*clears throat*

Anyway...

Well Tic tac toe, I think you'll find my resume in order. I mean, it's all there, all the qualifications...and the skills....and the...words...
It's all there. So no worries.

AL

Thanks and keep those questions coming!
 
Ok, I'll bite...

Why is it when I offer someone my shopping cart in the parking lot after I've unloaded my groceries, the people heading into the store look at me like I just offered to slice their throats?
 
Of Salesmen!!!

slacker2114 said:
Ok, I'll bite...

Why is it when I offer someone my shopping cart in the parking lot after I've unloaded my groceries, the people heading into the store look at me like I just offered to slice their throats?

Slacker

Yeah, um..so that's your name so...I can call you that. ..um..but what are those numbers after your name? 2114??? Oh! You must mean the Rush album. No no slacker, it was 2112. That's ok though. I mean, you almost got it right. You were only two numbers off. The important thing is that you tried...and if you try, everyones a winner!
Now...
The reason people give you that look, besides how stupidly paranoid everyone has become, is because our society has convinced us that we should never take anything from anyone. You've heard it all: Don't take candy from strangers, don't eat the halloween candy, don't pick up hitchhikers, don't take wooden nickles, don't...eat after other people. It goes on and on! So basically, our minds are conditioned to think that if somebody has something that they are trying to give to you, they are the spawn of Satan and they are after your immortal soul. In this case, their enternal happiness in Heaven..or Hawaii is being threatened by your shopping cart. Always remember Geddy, fear, paranoia, and ignorance are some of the staples of our society. I mean, people now-a-days don't wanna take anything from nobody..er...anybody. Just the other day, I offered this unruly person a punch in the mouth, and (no surprise here), they didn't take it. They didn't even want it...madness.

So in conclusion Geddy, the lesson here is: Never give unto others lest they might try and give unto you.

Thanks for the question! ..and now, I leave you something to ponder:
With modern machinery making all the music, can we still be open hearted?
 
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If you drop an egg that is new, it breaks and u get goo

so why if u drop a broken egg, u dont get one brand new

:😱ffers bottle of crown as payment::
 
i already know you are worthy...hmmm a question..

who in your opinion is the best rock guitarist of all time? besides yourself..hehe...

o yea and what is in store for my future?
 
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alchemy said:
Wow...XOXO? That's a pretty cool name there. Wait a...that isn't your name at all is it?! Ha ha...nice try steph. I mean, XOXO would be a pretty cool name to have...and nobody would want to play tic tac toe with you...ever. You'd be all like, "my name is XOXO!" And they'd be like "Wow, with a name like that, she must be the master of the X's the the O's". Then you get to watch them literally tremble with fear of your awesome presence!
*clears throat*

Anyway...

Well Tic tac toe, I think you'll find my resume in order. I mean, it's all there, all the qualifications...and the skills....and the...words...
It's all there. So no worries.

AL

Thanks and keep those questions coming!

A tickler resume?? Alchemy, you've got to start sleeping at night!! 😛 :happyfloa

I noticed your crystal ball-does that mean you predict futures? If so, I am curious as what your crystal ball tells you about my future. Ok o wise one, predict away...... :Hyrdrogen
 
I've got a question for you. When are you coming to CT? We'd love to see you again! :upsidedow

Ann
 
Dear Alchemy,

What is that little brown man with the scary face that I seem to see in all Japanese cartoons? He looks a bit like a cactus made of poo if that helps.

Also why does bleach taste like burning?

Bye,

Headsnap
 
um in response to Headsnap's question.....why on earth would you want to taste bleach???? :shake:
 
isabeau said:
um in response to Headsnap's question.....why on earth would you want to taste bleach???? :shake:

hehe, that was a Simpsons reference I think...the little police officer's kid, Wiggam... "It tastes like burning!"

he has some great lines

"My cat's breath smells like catfood!"
 
siamese dream said:
hehe, that was a Simpsons reference I think...the little police officer's kid, Wiggam... "It tastes like burning!"

he has some great lines

"My cat's breath smells like catfood!"

Well spotted, kudos point to you! My favourite Ralf Wiggam quote ever is the one he comes out with when Bart shoves him into some bushes:

"I like bushes because they don't have prickers, except when they do. This one did. Ow."

I also still want to know who the poo-cactus man is.
 
Grade A

Goodieluver said:
If you drop an egg that is new, it breaks and u get goo

so why if u drop a broken egg, u dont get one brand new

:😱ffers bottle of crown as payment::

Hey there Goodie. Asking about Eggs huh? Yeah, eggs are very interesting. I mean, they can be scrambled...over easy...sunny side up...poached...omleted...with some cheese and onions...and the bacon....mmmm

*shakes head*

Anyway Goodie-two-shoes, the answer to your question lies in the nature of the universe. Our universe tends towards destruction. This is why it's easier to destroy than create. I mean, think of anything....your car for example. The longer you have it, the crappier it tends to get. If you want it to stay awesome, you have to work on it constantly. It doesn't get better and better on it's own. That's just not the way things work. So...you can drop all the broken eggs that you want...just have a mop ready. Oh, and next time you're dropping eggs, try dropping a few on some soccer moms. That always makes ol' Alchemy smile. :devil2:
 
Widdly widdly waaaa!

isabeau said:
i already know you are worthy...hmmm a question..

who in your opinion is the best rock guitarist of all time? besides yourself..hehe...

o yea and what is in store for my future?

Hey there isabeau! Btw, I've always wanted to ask you about your name there. I mean, why isabeau? Why not isaluke, or isagirl, or ....isashark? Anyway...
The best rock guitarist of all time?

Ok people, music is not a sport. I mean, you can go on for hours arguing about technical ability, or improvisation skills, or who swings their guitar around their head better, but where will that get you? Royally pissed off at the person that doesn't agree with you. Now, a lot of people will imediately start shouting Hendrix, and who can blame them, but there are so many factors in determining who is the best of all time, that would just be a personal opinion. Music is about emotion. Music is about self expression. So, my advice to you is to not worry so much about who's best, but worry more about who is really speaking your language on their guitar. I mean, they're really all pretty great (except those frat-boy and nu-metal guitarists...cause they just suck).
Oh and in your future I see a quasi-informative answer to your question.

There you go isashark! You can rock again. :fish:
 
alchemy said:
Hey there isabeau! Btw, I've always wanted to ask you about your name there. I mean, why isabeau? Why not isaluke, or isagirl, or ....isashark? Anyway...
The best rock guitarist of all time?

Ok people, music is not a sport. I mean, you can go on for hours arguing about technical ability, or improvisation skills, or who swings their guitar around their head better, but where will that get you? Royally pissed off at the person that doesn't agree with you. Now, a lot of people will imediately start shouting Hendrix, and who can blame them, but there are so many factors in determining who is the best of all time, that would just be a personal opinion. Music is about emotion. Music is about self expression. So, my advice to you is to not worry so much about who's best, but worry more about who is really speaking your language on their guitar. I mean, they're really all pretty great (except those frat-boy and nu-metal guitarists...cause they just suck).
Oh and in your future I see a quasi-informative answer to your question.

There you go isashark! You can rock again. :fish:

hmm you asked me a question...and hey i'm supposed to be asking the questions here hehe...well why isabeau you ask? when i first joined the forum i had an online Master..we had met in the bondage chatroom..he picked isabeau for me and Etienne for himself..from the movie, "Ladyhawke" which i've never seen...we have since broken off and he took his old nickname back, smyslov...but i decided to keep isabeau...

thanks for that answer...very diplomatic ..hmm a quasi informative answer to my question about my future? what does that mean, pray tell?
 
At one time, the past was the future!

kis123 said:
A tickler resume?? Alchemy, you've got to start sleeping at night!! 😛 :happyfloa

I noticed your crystal ball-does that mean you predict futures? If so, I am curious as what your crystal ball tells you about my future. Ok o wise one, predict away...... :Hyrdrogen

Hey kis...I think you forgot an there..supposed to have two 's .. :devil2:

Ok so...lets see what the crystal ball says...hmmm....
ok, hold on a sec...let me go over here...the light hits it better here...yeah...there we go...see it all lighting up and looking cool now...yeah, that DOES look pretty cool. So...I see....well....I see light...and...um....little roundy, sparkly things in the glass....but what does it mean? Oh, I know. The crystal ball is saying: at some point in time, you will see light..probly from the sun...where you live. Also, you'll see little round sparkly things....yeah, not too sure about that one, but hey, if the crystal ball said it, it must be true. So...if you DO start seeing the little round sparkly things somewhere, let me know, cause that would be pretty cool.

Ok so, until next time..or the next question!
 
Hello...I'm in CT....hmm......

TklDuo-Ann said:
I've got a question for you. When are you coming to CT? We'd love to see you again! :upsidedow

Ann

Hey there HyphenAnn! CT huh? Hmm...not sure I could make it all the way up there just yet. Way too many things going on right now, but I'll see you at the next NEST! I'd like to see you guys and gals again too! 🙂
 
Domo!

Headsnap said:
Dear Alchemy,

What is that little brown man with the scary face that I seem to see in all Japanese cartoons? He looks a bit like a cactus made of poo if that helps.

Also why does bleach taste like burning?

Bye,

Headsnap

Hey there snappy!
Little brown man huh? Ok, first off, you see a lot of weird stuff in Japanese cartoons. Actually, that little monster you described is one of the fairly normal things you'd see.
That little brown poo-like monster is actually the official mascot of NHK's Broadcast Satellite networks. It's name is Domo-kun and it's regularly seen bowing and saying "domo" or thank you. It's pretty much the most popular monster in Japan....next to Godzilla...and Mothra.

And as for the bleach...it's probably because you haven't drank enough of it yet. Remember, if it tastes bad, it probably means that it's good for you. :devil:

Next question!
 
Stop smelling it!

venray said:
Why does asparagus make your wee smell?

...ok, where's the frigin Delete button...stupid new keyboard...

Look man, if eating asparagus is making your...wee smell...then just stop eating it. I mean, wee is supposed to smell like wee..not asparagus. Also, you might want to go to the doctor..or psychiatrist and have that checked out. Cause I've eaten a mess of asparagus in my time...and have never once felt the urge to smell my own wee. So...if you're smell asparagus in your own wee, you've got a few issues to work out man...and asparagus is the least of your concerns. 😛

Next question!
 
Oh RATS Al! I can't view that until I get home! 😀 But I'm looking forward to it!

XOXO

steph said:
Ok, we don't know each other but have Ohio friends in common (shoots him mischievious smile). A certain someone wants you invited to next summer's party--tell me why you think you're worthy...😉

XOXO
 
No No No....I asked why asparagus made YOUR wee smell....not mine...

(I have it on good authority....or maybe just a wild rumor....)


:firedevil
 
O-kay!

Fine resume sir, VERY fine! That and with the Ohio endorser's enthusiastic review of your um, SKILLS, I think you'll fit in nicely--consider yourself one of the gang--officially speaking I mean! 😉 See ya next summer--Ohio and/or Texas contacts will keep you posted...:redheart:

XOXO

alchemy said:
Wow...XOXO? That's a pretty cool name there. Wait a...that isn't your name at all is it?! Ha ha...nice try steph. I mean, XOXO would be a pretty cool name to have...and nobody would want to play tic tac toe with you...ever. You'd be all like, "my name is XOXO!" And they'd be like "Wow, with a name like that, she must be the master of the X's the the O's". Then you get to watch them literally tremble with fear of your awesome presence!
*clears throat*

Anyway...

Well Tic tac toe, I think you'll find my resume in order. I mean, it's all there, all the qualifications...and the skills....and the...words...
It's all there. So no worries.

AL

Thanks and keep those questions coming!
 
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