22 Clues when to "Call it a Night"

[Tamia78]

1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and
wiggling my butt while yelling WOOHOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass
and honestly believe I could do it too. (...well, truth is, I could do it heh!)

4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more
like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor (which
I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.

6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I
love them sooooo much.

7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to
start work.

8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek
sitting next to me.

9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade
teacher!

10. In my drunken haze, throwing up just means I have created more room for MORE booze!

11. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand
on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

12. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on
their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

13. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really
good at it.

14. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me
by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

15. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely
like the kitchen floor.

16. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T
take this the WRONG WAY but..."

17. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when
I sit on it.

18. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown
moves.

19. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I
happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

20. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly
pants to cut
down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

21. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their
fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

22. I start believing that everyone in the room wants
to see my boobs. (What??? That's NOT true? 😱 )

 

[bellystrokes]

Where did you find my list, babe?

 

[sole seeker]

11. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

21. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

Oh Tamia, dear, I think it's time you and I partied!

Nice post.

 

[milagros317]

LOL 😛
Very amusing list. 😀

 

[Mastertank1]

In your case, my dear;

Number 2, number 12 and number 22 are most definitely true, drunk or sober!

And walking around with your shoes off can be extremely dangerous, especially if Soleseeker or I are around!

 

[Tamia78]

Goddess, Where do you think I found your list? On the bathroom wall! 😱

Sole and Mastertank......where are we going this weekend?

 

[Mastertank1]

How about

Goddess, Where do you think I found your list? On the bathroom wall! 😱

Sole and Mastertank......where are we going this weekend?

rendesvouz in Pittsburgh and party at my place?
I'll get in the booze and munchies!

 

[guitman69]

15. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely
like the kitchen floor.

18. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling takedown
moves.

22. I start believing that everyone in the room wants
to see my boobs. (What??? That's NOT true? 😱 )

A few comments on the above:

15. This is a true story. One night we were partying after one of our karaoke shows (we used to run a karaoke business). Now I had to drive home so I couldn't drink until we got there. So I start drinking and talking to my friends and a few hours later, Mrs. guitman goes to bed. A couple hours later everyone leaves and I go into the bedroom. I can't find my wife. I go into the bathroom and find her passed out on the floor TOTALLY NAKED! It took me about 5 minutes to get her off the floor and put her to bed.

18. Now I already mentioned that I used to be a karaoke host, so I worked a lot in bars. Now I'm a big guy, but you wouldn't believe how hard some of the smallest women can grab on to you and squeeze. A couple of times, I was afraid my head was gonna pop right off.

22. That ones always true? I've been in a couple gay bars and even they want to see boobs!

 

[steph]

OMG Goddess, CLASSIC!
XOXO

 

[Illtcklu]

11. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand
on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

*takes drink* YEAH! I need my one dollar bills!


Oh shit.......... I have absolutely no idea where my purse is...............