c7_assassin
3rd Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2007
- Messages
- 8,703
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Apparently pop-music fans, a group that, as a whole, are so provably retarded that society cringes every time they reach for a pair of scissors, have all at once decided to become jaded and ironic, and have fallen like a pack of ravening wolves on the lyrical efforts of one unknown, artistically-challenged teenybopper.
Rebecca Black's 'Friday' has been blasted from one end of the internets to the other, and the song has been sarcastically enjoyed over 2 million times by cynical douchebags who seem to thrive on a combination of sexting and schadenfreude.
Yes, the lyrics are unreasonably awful, the subject matter is drivel, her voice is so autotuned my eardrums threw up, and the video itself is so confoundingly shot the only sane explanation is that the director has a secret glue habit, but what everyone seems to be forgetting is that none of this is even remotely special.
Here is the offending video:
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CD2LRROpph0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CD2LRROpph0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
And now, I give you four chart-topping songs from pop artists that are measurably worse:
1) The Black Eyed Peas: "I Got a Feeling"
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uSD4vsh1zDA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uSD4vsh1zDA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
How It's Worse: At least 'Friday' is only stupid about one day of the week. This shitty song starts off being about 'tonight,' and then they switch to 'party every day.' Make up your damn mind!
2) Justin Bieber: "Baby"
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kffacxfA7G4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kffacxfA7G4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
How It's Worse: "My first love broke my heart for the first time,
and I was like
baby, baby, baby, oh,
baby baby baby, oh"
I can't tell if 'baby' is what he was like when his "first love broke his heart for the first time," or if that's just how tweens have panic attacks. Maybe she dumped you because you suck at expressing emotion, you gender-neutral sex-muppet. At least I know how Rebecca Black feels about Friday.
3) Rhianna: "S&M"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc
How it's worse: Well for one thing, she rhymed 'it' with 'it,' which sounds idiotic, especially since the line "I like the smell of shit," practically writes itself. Also, she seems to think 'S&M' involves putting on a red wig and dancing around with a Miss Piggy doll. At least Rebecca Black has some idea of what Friday is, you talentless poseur.
4) Beyonce: "Single Ladies"
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4m1EFMoRFvY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4m1EFMoRFvY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
How it's worse: I swear to god, the fact that anyone thinks this isn't the most jaw-droppingly awful spectacle ever committed to film speaks volumes about how unwilling we are to face facts when the emperor has no clothes. It's three minutes of Beyonce imitating the way a peacock might dance when it's drunk and nothing else. At least in the other video I got to see other things. Also, never once does Rebecca Black refer to herself as an 'it.' Points for human self-awareness, Rebecca.
5)... Oh shit the Beyonce-bots found me. Survive me, TMF, survive me!
Rebecca Black's 'Friday' has been blasted from one end of the internets to the other, and the song has been sarcastically enjoyed over 2 million times by cynical douchebags who seem to thrive on a combination of sexting and schadenfreude.
Yes, the lyrics are unreasonably awful, the subject matter is drivel, her voice is so autotuned my eardrums threw up, and the video itself is so confoundingly shot the only sane explanation is that the director has a secret glue habit, but what everyone seems to be forgetting is that none of this is even remotely special.
Here is the offending video:
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CD2LRROpph0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CD2LRROpph0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
And now, I give you four chart-topping songs from pop artists that are measurably worse:
1) The Black Eyed Peas: "I Got a Feeling"
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uSD4vsh1zDA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uSD4vsh1zDA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
How It's Worse: At least 'Friday' is only stupid about one day of the week. This shitty song starts off being about 'tonight,' and then they switch to 'party every day.' Make up your damn mind!
2) Justin Bieber: "Baby"
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kffacxfA7G4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kffacxfA7G4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
How It's Worse: "My first love broke my heart for the first time,
and I was like
baby, baby, baby, oh,
baby baby baby, oh"
I can't tell if 'baby' is what he was like when his "first love broke his heart for the first time," or if that's just how tweens have panic attacks. Maybe she dumped you because you suck at expressing emotion, you gender-neutral sex-muppet. At least I know how Rebecca Black feels about Friday.
3) Rhianna: "S&M"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc
How it's worse: Well for one thing, she rhymed 'it' with 'it,' which sounds idiotic, especially since the line "I like the smell of shit," practically writes itself. Also, she seems to think 'S&M' involves putting on a red wig and dancing around with a Miss Piggy doll. At least Rebecca Black has some idea of what Friday is, you talentless poseur.
4) Beyonce: "Single Ladies"
<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4m1EFMoRFvY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4m1EFMoRFvY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
How it's worse: I swear to god, the fact that anyone thinks this isn't the most jaw-droppingly awful spectacle ever committed to film speaks volumes about how unwilling we are to face facts when the emperor has no clothes. It's three minutes of Beyonce imitating the way a peacock might dance when it's drunk and nothing else. At least in the other video I got to see other things. Also, never once does Rebecca Black refer to herself as an 'it.' Points for human self-awareness, Rebecca.
5)... Oh shit the Beyonce-bots found me. Survive me, TMF, survive me!
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