a couple of dumb crook news..

[isabeau]

A man took his dog along while he went to hold up a grocery store..the dog hopped out of the car to find a place to pee...When the man came rushing out for a quick get-away, he couldn't coax his dog into the car, so he took off and left the dog behind..The police were able to track the robber by the ID collar tag around the dog's neck, which gave out name, phone number, and street address..



A man had spent hours gazing into the window of a jewelry store. Finally he decided that he wanted some of that jewelry for himself. Knowing the thickness of the glass on the window, he looked around to find something heavy enough to break the glass. Seeing a man-hole with a cover, he pried the cover off the hole and smashed the window pane...Grabbing as much jewelry as he could he turned to make a quick escape and promptly fell into the manhole..


These are one hundred percent true...i hear them on the John Boy and Billy radio show...the one about the man falling into the manhole made me burst out in giggles..

 

[sole seeker]

ROF-LMAO! Great post, Izzy. Definite candidates for the Darwin Award.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

A man took his dog along while he went to hold up a grocery store..the dog hopped out of the car to find a place to pee...When the man came rushing out for a quick get-away, he couldn't coax his dog into the car, so he took off and left the dog behind..The police were able to track the robber by the ID collar tag around the dog's neck, which gave out name, phone number, and street address..



A man had spent hours gazing into the window of a jewelry store. Finally he decided that he wanted some of that jewelry for himself. Knowing the thickness of the glass on the window, he looked around to find something heavy enough to break the glass. Seeing a man-hole with a cover, he pried the cover off the hole and smashed the window pane...Grabbing as much jewelry as he could he turned to make a quick escape and promptly fell into the manhole..


These are one hundred percent true...i hear them on the John Boy and Billy radio show...the one about the man falling into the manhole made me burst out in giggles..

Out of a million sperm, those two were the ones that got through.

 

[Bugman]

LMAO,i really like the second one.

 

[milagros317]

LMAO 😛
Very funny, Isabeau. Not the sharpest knives in the drawer. 😀

 

[isabeau]

and what makes it really funny, it's absolutely true..there are many more, but i thought the one with the manhole was hilarious..i was uh in the bathroom when i heard it..and burst out in giggles..

 

[Bugman]

I remember reading about a guy who went to rob a bank,where he had an account,and he wrote the holdup note on the back of one of his deposit slips.Sounds like an old Woody Allen movie.

 

[Mastertank1]

My favorite, also true.

Two guys decide to rob a branch bank on 70th street in Manhattan.
They decide to do it on a Friday, because they will have lots of cash on hand for customer's payroll checks.
The two pull their guns, and menace the clerks with them, announcing that they are robbing the bank.
They then notice about 40 patrons of the bank pointing guns at them.
All 40 were FBI agents, who were on line cashing their paychecks. The New York office of the FBI was around the corner.
OOPS!
🙄

 

[bellystrokes]

Two guys decide to rob a branch bank on 70th street in Manhattan.
They decide to do it on a Friday, because they will have lots of cash on hand for customer's payroll checks.
The two pull their guns, and menace the clerks with them, announcing that they are robbing the bank.
They then notice about 40 patrons of the bank pointing guns at them.
All 40 were FBI agents, who were on line cashing their paychecks. The New York office of the FBI was around the corner.
OOPS!
🙄

OMG, if that is true, that is one of the funniest things I have heard (oh hell, even if it isn't true---what a scene for a movie).

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Two guys decide to rob a branch bank on 70th street in Manhattan.
They decide to do it on a Friday, because they will have lots of cash on hand for customer's payroll checks.
The two pull their guns, and menace the clerks with them, announcing that they are robbing the bank.
They then notice about 40 patrons of the bank pointing guns at them.
All 40 were FBI agents, who were on line cashing their paychecks. The New York office of the FBI was around the corner.
OOPS!
🙄

I guess they didn't do their research very well. Tsk, tsk, tsk.


I heard this one today. A guy from St. Paul was looking for something different to take the stains out of his clothes. So his brilliant idea is to fill the bathtub full of gasoline and soak his clothes in it. Unable to stand the smell, he had another brilliant idea: he set a dozen lit candles around the tub.
Can you guess what happened next? Yep, a pretty big explosion. Luckily no one was killed.

 

[lespieds]

The dog's collar...

You know, I never could understand why anyone would have any form of ID when they go to do a crime. Yeah sure there is DNA and stuff, but to drop your wallet, leave behind your dog with the collar, or write a stick up note on the back of your own deposit slip...

I mean that is just plain ass STUPID!

The REAL funny thing is thinking what the crooks must think when they realise their wallet is gone... You know that nervous twitching you get in your crotch when you KNOW you fucked up really bad?

I would pay $100 to see the look on someone face when they realise "Gee, my wallet must be at the bank I just went to..."

 

[Mastertank1]

there was this one guy

who took his GF along when he robbed a convenience store.
while he was holding the clerk up at gunpoint, the clerk noticed the woman who had entered with the robber. She saw a contest to win a brand new SUV and a years worth of free gas; while her BF was robbing the place, she filled out an entry form and dropped it in the slot.(!).
True story, square biz guys.
Yeah, she was blonde. Sorry Izzy.

 

[Bugman]

When i was living in Houston,i remember hearing about a moron who robbed a 7-11.He was caught on tape,and a reward poster was posted in the store window.A few days later he was standing outside the store,pointing to the poster and telling everyone who passed by,hey,thats me.The HPD was more then happy to see him,and some lucky customer got the reward money.Sometimes,you wonder if Darwin was right...

 

[lespieds]

The houstin robber - I wonder if it occured to him "I wonder what my photo is doing on the window?"

Had he held up so many places that he forgot that this was one of the places? Seems a robbery is not something that would slip the mind real soon.

 

[isabeau]

another true story....a guy, trying to break into a neighboring apartment, using his credit card, broke the credit card in half in the lock...guess which side was still in the lock? lol...and when the cops went to confront him, the other half was lying on his kitchen table...

and tsk tsk MasterTank....