a guy who wants to increase his physical sensativity

[scorpionldr]

Right now I'm really irked. As I'm sure a few people have read, recently I've gone from single to unavailable. Typically I'd be extremely happy and probably sexually excited, but last night made me reconsider things. My girl and I go out, and she takes me to hooters and we go to the theaters and check out Borat. We're making out, we're cuddling, we're both in love. No problem there. We get back to my room, we get ready, and altho her parents don't want her screwing me the first time she stays over with me, we get on the airbed I bring from home and get a little busy and I play by most of her parent's rules. I make out with her, I tickle her, I discover a special spot and she is brought to orgasm by me.

It sounds like we're doing a lot of the things we should, but for the life of me, I am just not aroused. Maybe it's because I fell asleep with her in my arms in the theater, maybe it's because it's late, god only knows. I can't even do myself with her next to me, and this is the same guy that can't talk to her on the phone without ending up stiff as a board. so, after forcing things for myself, we go to sleep, in the morning we try again (get a little sexual motivation in her to wake her up so she can go to work happy). Nothing still.

I know my girlfriend wants to arouse me. Hell, I think I want my girlfriend to arouse me. I mean if I didn't why would we be together and turned on by eachother?

just this level of desensativity to me is a complete shocker. I'm 22 years old. I'm 290 pounds (unfortunately thanks to a nice killer college schedule). Is there any way to make my body more pysically sensative in order to be able to give my girlfriend the pleasure of knowing she pleasures me? I know we want this relationship to not turn south, and we both know emotionally we're a perfect match, but if sexuality is important (like it is) and I stay the way I am, to put it bluntly I'm fucked (or not, which is what this is about).

 

[Capnmad]

So far, you're describing a once and done situation. So it didn't happen. So what? Did you have a good time? Did she have a good time? If the answer to both of these is "yes", then there's no problem. You were probably tired -- falling asleep, it being late -- these things can affect guys and gals alike.

Relax, get some rest, put it out of your mind, and make sure you're well rested for your next date. If you let this one time worry you, you're just going to add stress and/or performance anxiety to the mix later on. Just make your goal having a good time (and showing her a good time) and relax. The rest will take care of itself in time or under the right conditions.

 

[scorpionldr]

Yea, I know this, and she sorta said to not worry about it, but in my mind, as stupid as it sounds, I broke "man's law". Those rules that men should morally follow to keep respect for themselves. Like we should have control of our bodies in the right situations. I think I'm gonna go off the porn for a long while to see what happens.

 

[Icycle]

Yea, I know this, and she sorta said to not worry about it, but in my mind, as stupid as it sounds, I broke "man's law". Those rules that men should morally follow to keep respect for themselves. Like we should have control of our bodies in the right situations. I think I'm gonna go off the porn for a long while to see what happens.

It's actually not that uncommon for a man to have performance problems, and there are a lot of potential causes. Drugs and alcohol for instance can interfere with physical arousal. You didn't mention whether you had anything to drink that evening, but that could certainly have something to do with it. Stress and anxiety are another common cause of problems. The fact that this is a new relationship, or the fact that you a heavy class schedule could be contributing to your difficulties. And now the very fact that you are worried that it could happen again could cause it to happen again.

Having difficulties with physical arousal does not automatically mean that you are not turned on by your girlfriend, nor does it make you less of a man. I would certainly suggest laying off alcohol before laying of the porn as a potential solution. And try to relex and not stress out too much about this problem or other problems. Try general stress reduction techniques, like exercise or meditation. And finally, when you are initimate with your girlfriend, even if you have trouble with physical arousal again, hands, tongues, and sex toys can be a lot of fun too!

 

[cloudgazer2k]

Capn and Icycle have made some very valid points. stress kills the sex hormones big time. but i have discovered that if you take things slow and prolong the play, it might help.

 

[scorpionldr]

It's actually not that uncommon for a man to have performance problems, and there are a lot of potential causes. Drugs and alcohol for instance can interfere with physical arousal. You didn't mention whether you had anything to drink that evening, but that could certainly have something to do with it. Stress and anxiety are another common cause of problems. The fact that this is a new relationship, or the fact that you a heavy class schedule could be contributing to your difficulties. And now the very fact that you are worried that it could happen again could cause it to happen again.

Having difficulties with physical arousal does not automatically mean that you are not turned on by your girlfriend, nor does it make you less of a man. I would certainly suggest laying off alcohol before laying of the porn as a potential solution. And try to relex and not stress out too much about this problem or other problems. Try general stress reduction techniques, like exercise or meditation. And finally, when you are initimate with your girlfriend, even if you have trouble with physical arousal again, hands, tongues, and sex toys can be a lot of fun too!

Well, you are right about stress....I basically work the schedule of a man who's considering to drop himself from a 20 story building if he doesn't have anything else to do (well I WAS considering that, things have been compromised now). What I am basically getting at is I have a 12 hour college day. Every Day. I get up, usually at 9 in the morning, and usually do not come back until about 9 o clock at night, with maybe a half hour, 45 minute break in between. A lot of my alcohol problems before her I was working on solving, and a lot of the time I was pushing myself to stay sober (i made a drastic decrease in my intake when I was usually at school). If I drink anything, it might be a beer or sparx or somethin. Stress reduction......um, YEA, I don't have any techniques. Begin the day, end the day, usually do a minimum amount of work, maybe turn a porno on, last five minutes, sleep. Oh, and a real plus here, I'M A MUSIC EDUCATION MAJOR (well, for now)!!!! Although my gf doesn't want me to skip class or drop out, I've been toying with the idea of bowing out for a bit and maybe getting a job as a telemarketer....I like the idea of pissing people off calling them.