A little help please

[zemke]

I have a little problem. I am happily married, good job, two fantastic kids, the whole shebang....Here is the problem, my wife is not into bondage and/or tickling; I am. Evey now and then we do some real light bondage, fuzzy handcuff type stuff, but she doesn't really get into it that much.
A couple of months ago a woman at work (I will call her Heather) propesitioned me: anything I want antime I wanted it.

Heather and I talked on the phone for quite a while. During our conversation I told her that I wanted tickling and bondage. Like most people I suspected that she would run like hell. No such thing. Heather says that she has been courious about bondage. The idea of being tied up really gets her going, but had never heard of tickling as a sexual activity, but she is all game. She has sugested ideas on where I could tie her up and what I could tickle her with.(some are pretty well thought out).

So what do I do? Risk everything for something, or do I walk away and live my life with the woman that I love? I am lost...I really do love my wife.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

second option... the only way tying her up and tickling her would be okay is if your wife was okay with it.. otherwize it's not right dude. I'd say divorce your wife is she's not fullfilling you, but if you truely love your wife then deal with your unsatisfaction, don't go running behind her back to tickle torture some other woman.

 

[kopfhorer]

The following is just my two cents, nothing more or less.

I don't recommend cheating. Not only is it more trouble than it's worth, you may actually end up losing both your wife and "Heather". Have you thought seriously about talking more in depth with your wife about your needs?

Also, does Heather want a relationship with you, or does she just want play (not that there's anything wrong with wanting play and nothing more, just as long as you're both on the same page)?

Lastly, have you looked into polyamory?

 

[skipsfirstspike]

Your problem is no different really than what I imagine many men may come across. Just like someone without a fetish may get out of regular porn.
Of Course it is not ok to live out this fantasy.
Unless you have an open marriage and it is perfectly fine with you if your wife goes and lives out her ultimate sexual fantasy with someone else... which I highly doubt.
Watch your tickle vidoes, fantasize, and get your own rocks off. I can't imagine anyone telling you that it is ok to cheat on your wife.
If you absolutely cannot live without acting upon this desire, then separate from your wife, and go find someone who is better suited to you.

 

[ticklebrowse26]

You have so so so much to lose.

Your wife may not be into it, but does she really know how much you want it, and how much it means to you? If you're thinking about risking your marriage/family on fulfilling this need, you have to tell your wife how big a deal it is.

Starting an affair -- tickle related or otherwise -- will open up a can of worms you can never completely close.

 

[rhiannon]

It is a terrible idea to cheat on your wife with a colleague! Of course it is never okay to cheat, but if it was someone who didn't know a lot about you and didn't cross your path on a regular basis, it wouldn't be quite as dangerous!

This woman knows your phone number, your name, can probably find out were you live and could really make your life hell if you don't give her what she wants! If you don't know what I mean, I recommend watching "Fatal Attraction"!

So - don't do it unless you plan to get divorced. Talk to your wife again although I really doubt that you will get on the same sheet of music considering tickling. If someone is not into it, they usually just are not into it.

 

[aun_existe_amor]

Why don't you ask your wife to tie and tickle you instead? Let her get used to the idea of tickling being part of your bedroom stuff. It might be that she never wants to be tickled so if you're curious about the 'lee side at all, now is the time to explore it. If you take my advice you'll stay away from Heather. I wouldn't be happy if my husband was doing anything like that with another woman, even if I didn't want to do it.

 

[Korastus]

Don't cheat. It's not okay, regardless of your circumstances. If you love your wife, stay with her, communicate with her about what you want out of your sex life. Work it out. It's not worth throwing away something meaningful for a couple of great nights.

 

[me4o]

What I will say, will mostly repeat what the others above me said. My advice-don't do it. You say you love your wife- great. I am not married, and have never been yet, cause I'm still too young, but imagine what it would be for your kids if something went wrong. It's just not worth it 🙂

 

[TicklesFemales]

If you love your wife stay with her. Let Heather know your married if she is still willing to let you tie her up and tickle her, then tell your wife about her and that how you want to tie Heather up and tickle her but that you want your her present with you for this as well. If your wife is not okay with you just tickling Heather no sex then I would say don't tickle Heather unless you do it without your wife knowing. Its a hard decision but don't leave your wife if you love her.

 

[rhiannon]

Up to this part

I would say don't tickle Heather unless you do it without your wife knowing

your advice actually made sense!!

Seriously, if he plans on tickling Heather without his wife knowing, then he should avoid telling his wife about the whole thing completely! Not telling his wife about Heather is probably the best option anyways, because I can not imagine that she would be happy about the thought of him being around a woman on a daily basis who makes offers like "anything you want anytime you want".

If your wife is not okay with you just tickling Heather no sex

Yeah right...like Heather will go for that.....

 

[ticklemepls]

okay, this is what im going to say...

if you really do love your wife- its a no brain-er. cheating isnt an option. women tend not to forgive for stuff like that. quite honestly, if i were her, and i found out you've even discussed it with this other woman, i'd be angry as heck.

this is just my opinion, take it or leave it.... but not so sure our opinion really matters, in the end you're going to either decide that your wife is more important, or your fetish is... thats a decision only you can make.

 

[thetmfobserver]

I'll join the chorus in saying this is a monumentally bad idea.

 

[sparkybdj]

I wouldnt reccomend doing this behind her back, you might be fulfilled now...but if you really love your wife, the guilt will eventually eat ya up......not worth it.

 

[marcusb]

One word: Don't

 

[obama666]

Tough call dude and something I am going through myself right now... Once you marry them it seems to slowly, gradually go down hill... They will do all kind of shit for you, cook, sex, clean, be nice, etc. and then slowly the bottom falls out... What's Heather's motivation for doing all this stuff with you? May want to ask yourself that before taking the plunge. It's not because you are a great guy, that's for sure... There are always consequences for stuff that you do!...Good luck!

 

[skipsfirstspike]

^^
Yeah, us women really let things go after marriage.
Unlike you menfolk, who stay the same charming, dashing selves you always were.


NOT!!!

 

[obama666]

No most of you are just deceptive...never dated a guy so I don't know how they act in an intimate relationship... Marriage in general is an overall failing proposition for most over the long haul. I would never blame either sex, generically, for a failing marriage, not my thing. I sort of hope I stay married for the rest of my life but I would never do it again. I was never charming or dashing! Most men like to be left alone and have their space to some degree. Marriage does not always cater to this concept... Interested in rote, bitter comments from the opposite sex.

 

[mabus]

Let your wife know what you are considering, and ask her if it's okay.

Then after you wake up from her knocking you out, and your marriage is forever damaged, you'll have time to reconsider.......

Okay.....you happily mentioned you were happily married. That's the big difference.
SINCE your happily married, there's hope! Maybe you can even use this as an opportunity, a kick in the butt. It was going to happen eventually to a married man who wasn't getting is needs fulfilled.

Now, you have three roads to take.
-Tickle the other chick, without your wife's consent, because she won't give it.
Eventually end up fucking the other chick, because....come on! You're going to some other woman's house for a sexual activity, you'll be searingly hot and horny FINALLY getting to tickle someone else. She invited it, so she's obviously hot and horny for you. You'll both end up tearing each other's clothes off and fucking like wild animals......

-One right, moral decision - You could not go tickle her, and leave everything like it is......but remain unfulfilled and bitterness will slowly enter the marriage. Maybe not now, but it's slow creep will manifest itself.

-Or the second, much better moral decision - you seriously talk to her, or maybe in great fun, talk to her about your desires. I always wonder if someone is really serious about...sex, tickling, etc. the other person may be so worried about pleasing them they don't enjoy the whole process. This would have to be presented to me not THAT serious, because even if I agreed, I'd be worried about the seriousness the girl would be taking it if she had some weird fetish.

obama666, I don't know how bad it is. Is there hope?
To both of you, as I mentioned earlier. I'm going through a divorce. It sucks, and I haven't even started the paperwork yet. No one ever has a good divorce. It may be liberating after, believe me. My marriage had zero hope of recovery. But when I see people who DO have some hope, or a lot of hope, I encourage them to work on it.

 

[Tickle Hitman]

So true. I've seen way too many divorces that have destroyed lives. You need to truly express to your wife that this is your passion and she needs to be the object of your fantasy. This really should have been discussed prior to getting married, but my wife wasn't and really isn't into being tickled but she does it for me because she knows what it means to me. If she really loves you she will submit to you at least occasionally. The alternative can be disasterous. Don't blow it.

It is a terrible idea to cheat on your wife with a colleague! Of course it is never okay to cheat, but if it was someone who didn't know a lot about you and didn't cross your path on a regular basis, it wouldn't be quite as dangerous!

This woman knows your phone number, your name, can probably find out were you live and could really make your life hell if you don't give her what she wants! If you don't know what I mean, I recommend watching "Fatal Attraction"!

So - don't do it unless you plan to get divorced. Talk to your wife again although I really doubt that you will get on the same sheet of music considering tickling. If someone is not into it, they usually just are not into it.

 

[obama666]

wOW..sorry about that divorce thing...I just stay married for convenience, but it's wearing thin... I am probably older then you and I have always been cynical anyway. I never look at anything through "Rose Colored Glasses", ... not saying you do... As a man, speaking from experience, from a man's perspective, the less you say to your wife the better off you are. I am not saying blatantly lie...BUT!... Wife: "Why don't you bring me flowers anymore?"... Next day I bring her flowers... Wife: "Oh, you brought me flowers, hey, what are you hiding!"... oh yea, it's just me... Currently looking for a women who will tickle me half to death!!! Though switchable...Some great things about me, I don't yell, NEVER HIT (though I do own a few wife beater tee shirts, yard work) and I don't argue...AND when confronted with the truth...I don't blatantly lie... Sadistic tickling is never off the table!!! And if I am caught in a lie, you get a nice big box of whitman's chocolates... Hey what's right is right!!!

 

[Backstep]

Heather isn't doing this for your sake, she's probably doing it for her own. She could proposition anyone she wanted and engage in whatever vanilla activity her interest desired. But she chose you without knowing in advance that you were into tickling. She's therefore not doing that out of charity, and probably not because it's been her lifelong dream to be tied up and tickled. She wants a relationship with you; she probably wants to take your wife's place, not be your sexual outlet.

If you do this, you'll lose your family and probably her when she realizes you don't want to commit to a long-term relationship. And have you also considered that your work life is going to go to hell as well? When things go badly (and they will), how will you handle it when you have to deal with Heather every day while you get shredded by guilt and remorse?

You have some pent-up sexual needs? Get the kids out of the house (or get thm a sitter or whatever) and say you want to do more adventurous things. And take turns. When she's restrained (use silk scarves at first; more romantic than cuffs, IMHO), go gentile the first time. Feathers and feathery touches and light with the tongue, and don't get her going harder than a case of the giggles. Get her associating tickling with something that she wants to do again. If she climaxes, talk later about how it was a big turn -on to do that to her.

It will take time and effort and patience on your part, but it's better than throwing everything away for someone who is, frankly, going to use you far more than you'll use her when all is said and done.

 

[Naughty Summer]

As you said, you have the whole "Shebang". That must mean that this is the only issue you have in your marriage. You are very lucky then, most people can't say that.

Did you ever think that maybe you didn't like something that really turned her on? Maybe she also feels that she needs to go else where to get? Just a thought.

I too would suggest you talk to her more about it. Find out what you can do for her as well. Maybe you can both compromise. I think if you are open to her and really let her know how much you like it she may open up to the idea. Maybe tell her what you would like and start slow get her use to things. She may just find out she enjoys it. Make sure you do things that really turn her on. That way she will enjoy even just part of it.

Hope this helps and I hope you can work things out.

Remember the Grass is NOT greener on the other side. Sounds like you have a great thing going, just keep working on it, it's bound to work out for you.

 

[No_Style]

Heather isn't doing this for your sake, she's probably doing it for her own. She could proposition anyone she wanted and engage in whatever vanilla activity her interest desired. But she chose you without knowing in advance that you were into tickling. She's therefore not doing that out of charity, and probably not because it's been her lifelong dream to be tied up and tickled. She wants a relationship with you; she probably wants to take your wife's place, not be your sexual outlet.

If you do this, you'll lose your family and probably her when she realizes you don't want to commit to a long-term relationship. And have you also considered that your work life is going to go to hell as well? When things go badly (and they will), how will you handle it when you have to deal with Heather every day while you get shredded by guilt and remorse?

You have some pent-up sexual needs? Get the kids out of the house (or get thm a sitter or whatever) and say you want to do more adventurous things. And take turns. When she's restrained (use silk scarves at first; more romantic than cuffs, IMHO), go gentile the first time. Feathers and feathery touches and light with the tongue, and don't get her going harder than a case of the giggles. Get her associating tickling with something that she wants to do again. If she climaxes, talk later about how it was a big turn -on to do that to her.

It will take time and effort and patience on your part, but it's better than throwing everything away for someone who is, frankly, going to use you far more than you'll use her when all is said and done.

this is pretty much it....work it out with your wife...don't lose something so special for a fling with a co-worker you hardly know, and don't know her motives.