A Male's Guide To Finding Female Lee's In So-Cal (& Elsewhere)

[HallowedGround5]

The following is a guide to all male lers who are looking for a female lee and losing hope. I know there are a lot us out there. If you haven't been able to find a lee partner yet, this guide may just help you find one. My sessions generally last for hours and are always extremely satisfying.

First, a bit about me. I'm a 25 y/o male ler. I joined TMF about 6 years ago; and, it took me quite a while to find a proper female lee that was really into being tickled relentlessly. I never gave up and eventually found exactly what I was looking for. Here's how I did it and continue to do it.

A COUPLE MYTHS
Before we get into how you can land a great lee, I am going to debunk some myths that a lot of men believe are holding them back from success.

1.) I'm not attractive enough. Maybe you're concerned that your looks (or lack there of) will stop you from being able to find an attractive female lee. You couldn't be more wrong. Looking for a lee is like online dating... except it's much easier. You aren't looking for a "relationship", just a partner to tickle - this means that your prospective lee is going to care much less (if at all) about how attracted they are to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm an attractive guy; but, I am no GQ model - it didn't matter.

2.) Most lees only want to be tickled by their boyfriends. Wrong! Actually, it's been my experience that most female lees are looking for tickling, and that's it - or outside of their current relationship. I know it's hard for we tickling enthusiasts to imagine... but a lot of men that aren't into tickling will simply refuse to really tickle their girlfriends the way they want.


MAKING FIRST CONTACT
Most men I know simply don't understand how to talk to women; and, they are even worse at making first-contact, in regard to tickling. I've talked to female lees that I know personally; and, they all say that 99.9% of the messages from guys that they get look something like this: "Wow! I would give anything to suck on your sexy toes!" As far as opening statements go, that kind of statement will get you nowhere, fast. Here's what she's thinking... "This guy doesn't even know me; and, he's making assumptions about my body and what I want - what a creeper". Here's a better way to make first-contact: "Hey username, how's it going? [Insert valid comment about something she posted and/or has on her profile here]". That's it - no need to mention tickling, her feet or how much you want to suck her toes. This statement does two things. Firstly, it shows that you are confident. Secondly, it shows that you are observant and interested.

FOLLOWING UP
Now that you've taken the first step, it's time to follow-up. If you don't hear back from her... don't contact her, for at least a week anyway. If she's at all interested in contact, she will reply rather quickly. At this point, you must not have a "canned" reply for her reply. Instead, your reply to her reply needs to relate directly to whatever she says to you - do not change the subject. Let me say that again - DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Here's an example of what not to do and what to do:

Her Reply: "Hey [your username]. Yes, I just joined the forum. I haven't met anyone yet. I'm just looking to meet some cool peeps who share my passions."

Your Reply (wrong): "Oh yeah? Cool. I just noticed that you said your feet were very ticklish; and, I have HUGE foot fetish as well. If you're ever looking for someone to massage/suck on/tickle your feet... look no further."

Your Reply (right): "Oh yeah? Cool. I remember when I joined - it can be a bit awkward at first. There are some cool peeps on here, if you just know where to look. Let me know if you need some tips."

Alright, so do you see the difference? At this point, she either is going to decide to continue your conversation or not. If she does, you're 75% of the way there. Why? Because you listened to her and got inside her head a bit. She said: "I just joined" and you said "it can be a bit awkward at first". You read her mind and she probably feels way more comfortable with you than she did two seconds ago.

THE COURTSHIP
I know, I know... calling it a "courtship" sounds ridiculous; but, that is what's happening. I can't give you a step-by-step for this stage, because everyone is different. The trick is to move at her pace, but push her just a little. She'll let you know when she is ready to move to the...

THE MEET-UP
Now, you've both gotten to know each other fairly well; and, it's time to meet in-person. Where do you go? I recommend agreeing on a location that offers several places you can walk to, if things go well. If you live near a park/beach, consider those. First-off, remember to control yourself. If you're meeting-up, it's likely that you have discussed tickling her. It's easy to assume that you can just pick-up where you left off, when you go to meet her. You can't. It's best to pretend that you've never discussed tickling, when you meet in-person. She's probably going to be very nervous. Hell, so will you. Do not bring-up the topic of tickling - let her do that. Instead, treat the meeting like a casual date. Ask her about her day, week and other interests. Find a common interest to discuss and just let the conversation happen naturally. Eventually, when she feels comfortable, she will bring-up the topic of the night. Just relax and talk about it - don't stress. Be honest with your desires; but, don't freak her out. Do say: "I'm looking for someone I can tie-up and tickle for relatively long periods of time." Do not say: "I want to tie you to a bed and tickle the shit out of you, until you lose your mind." After you discuss tickling, you'll most likely have decided whether you both want to go forward with a "session". The place you decide on will be up to both of you. Now, before you part ways, make sure you tickle her for just a split second. I recommend pinching her sides, when you go-in for a goodbye hug. This is important, because you'll get her mind going - you're teasing her. Make sure you don't overdo it. You don't want to scare her.

THE SESSION
Congrats! You've made it to the final stage - the session. You're not out of the woods yet. Make sure you don't tie her up if she doesn't want it. Ease into it. Start-off light and progress at a pace she is comfortable with. Make sure you agree on a safe-word, in case she wants you to give her a break. If you do things right, you'll likely go-on for hours; and, if you really do things right, you'll have landed a loyal ticklee partner. There's nothing like getting that text or phone call: "Come tickle me tonight!"

 

[TickleMyFancy]

Good luck to all the boyzzz 🙂

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Meh this all wonderful advice, but I keep getting guys that act like they want a session with me, we start chatting, we set up a potential date, and they either cancel or disappear. They are some of the same guys that post around like they want it and are desperate. One guy canceled three times! Then he randomly got on Yahoo and was telling me how he hadn't played in two years! Then he was telling about this other woman he thought he was going to play with and I was like why do you think I care!? It is hard for me to feel sorry for the guys that say they are desperate now. Although I am hoping some of them that say they are really desperate are and they actually really truly want it.

 

[socktickler86]

Summary

Step 1: Use common sense
Step 2: ??
Step 3: Profit!

Of course, how flattering of an idea it is that girls can now look at guys on here possibly using some guide to win over a girl just to tickle her.

 

[rhiannon]

You aren't looking for a "relationship", just a partner to tickle - this means that your prospective lee is going to care much less (if at all) about how attracted they are to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm an attractive guy; but, I am no GQ model - it didn't matter.

Sorry, but I think you are wrong here. For most women, if it's just about sex or, here, tickling and not about a relationship, they will care MORE if they are attracted to you! I mean...hey, if I only want tickling (you can replace that with sex here), the only thing that DOES matter is that I am attracted to the person while looks are not as important as personality once I am looking for a relationship.

Where you are wrong is that all girls are attracted to GQ models...we aren't. We have our tastes. And looks isn't the only part of attraction, there's also charme and wits.

 

[socktickler86]

Sorry, but I think you are wrong here. For most women, if it's just about sex or, here, tickling and not about a relationship, they will care MORE if they are attracted to you! I mean...hey, if I only want tickling (you can replace that with sex here), the only thing that DOES matter is that I am attracted to the person while looks are not as important as personality once I am looking for a relationship.

This is a bit perplexing to say the least. I am under the impression most girls (and in fact, most TMFers period) here enjoy tickling because of the feeling and sensation of being tickled. I don't think most people here are mainly in it because a good looking person is doing something to them. Sure both is nice, but I don't think tickling can be elevated to "fetish" status if it isn't because someone specifically likes the actual tickling.

Take that!

 

[GQguy]

This is a bit perplexing to say the least. I am under the impression most girls (and in fact, most TMFers period) here enjoy tickling because of the feeling and sensation of being tickled. I don't think most people here are mainly in it because a good looking person is doing something to them. Sure both is nice, but I don't think tickling can be elevated to "fetish" status if it isn't because someone specifically likes the actual tickling.

Take that!

By that logic guys too shouldn't care about looks. Attraction is key here whether physical, emotional or mental. Physical attraction is most important in no strings attached flings because it takes the least amount time.

But I think your advice is sound. GQ looks doesn't equal attraction and guys should go for that girl. Of course being the most handsome version of yourself helps.

 

[TickleMyFancy]

By that logic guys too shouldn't care about looks. Attraction is key here whether physical, emotional or mental. Physical attraction is most important in no strings attached flings because it takes the least amount time.

But I think your advice is sound. GQ looks doesn't equal attraction and guys should go for that girl. Of course being the most handsome version of yourself helps.

All this is true lol

 

[socktickler86]

By that logic guys too shouldn't care about looks. Attraction is key here whether physical, emotional or mental. Physical attraction is most important in no strings attached flings because it takes the least amount time.

But I think your advice is sound. GQ looks doesn't equal attraction and guys should go for that girl. Of course being the most handsome version of yourself helps.

That's not what I said. I didn't say they don't care, I said it's not mainly because of the attraction. This may be a lot less true for girls, but most the guys on here could clearly care less if the girl is attractive/interesting/not socially awkward (at least that's the impression I get from how guys act). Remember, this isn't like going down to a bar and hooking up with someone for a vast majority of members. It's not a target rich environment so to speak 🙂. I mean, god, some guys almost piss themselves if a girl even talks to them. So for this situation, contrary to your everyday encounters, physical attraction is a bonus, not mandatory for most people.

And just to say it again, I strictly mean this for this kinda tickling fetish. The rules are way different otherwise of course. In fact, the more I think about it, the less this may apply to girls at all. I think we all know of the kinda guys who say they'd fly out just to tickle some girl they just met so for girls, they probably do actually get to have a standard.

 

[FLBowler]

I agree, that attraction has a lot to do with how things start, but when it comes to faceless starts and conversations, I think most guys have become too forward and come off too desperate, I'm not trying to start a fight by that comment, but even if i'm not into m/m they push and pressure us to do anything, even as little as cyber tickling. With patience comes great rewards, yes i know that someone can only wait for so long, but it doesn't get better if you fight and try to make it better.

 

[Leo tickles]

So basically don't tell women that you haven't had any action in 10 years. Don't act like it, either. Be a respectable human being and don't treat women like they are better than you or are some kind of prize. Understand they are people just like you looking for the same thing as you are. Build from that until you guys want to meet, then have fun.

And if all two people are doing is tickling, attraction is key.

 

[GQguy]

That's not what I said. I didn't say they don't care, I said it's not mainly because of the attraction. This may be a lot less true for girls, but most the guys on here could clearly care less if the girl is attractive/interesting/not socially awkward (at least that's the impression I get from how guys act). Remember, this isn't like going down to a bar and hooking up with someone for a vast majority of members. It's not a target rich environment so to speak 🙂. I mean, god, some guys almost piss themselves if a girl even talks to them. So for this situation, contrary to your everyday encounters, physical attraction is a bonus, not mandatory for most people.

And just to say it again, I strictly mean this for this kinda tickling fetish. The rules are way different otherwise of course. In fact, the more I think about it, the less this may apply to girls at all. I think we all know of the kinda guys who say they'd fly out just to tickle some girl they just met so for girls, they probably do actually get to have a standard.

I respect your opinion, but I don't agree that it's an accurate representation of reality. By your logic the guys here are extreme tickle purist....not caring about looks right? Then why don't guys tickle other guys? Attraction has to be there right? Guys don't tickle guys...not because they're guys but because they're not attracted to guys. Attraction is key.

I think the TMF is alot like a bar. Just like most dating situations. Those individuals that are able to create attraction the fastest meet the most people! Attraction has numerous facets...could be physical, could be emotional, mental or even spiritual. But the physical is the easiest and fastest way to judge someone....that's why it's so important in a bar....or on the TMF when talking to a female that has 100 pm's in her mailbox. As for guys...it's no different than the bar. Guys that haven't gotten laid/tickle in a long while are more desperate. The supply of willing partners for said guy is low so his demand is high(business 101). So he'll take what he can get. The rules are very much the same as the bar.....

hot girl at bar gets 100 guys asking her to dance/hot girl here has 100pm's a day

average looking girl at bar has 10 guys asking her to dance/average girl here get's 10 pm's a day

homely girl has desperate guys asking her to dance/homely girl here has desperate guys pm'ing her

And the girl gets her pick of the litter.

But for the guys that don't have GQ looks of Brad Pitt.

I suggest:
1) Post alot! In all forums. Be funny and fun...even if you're not in real life ;o) No really...you want to paint a picture of a normal fun loving guy that has a tickling fetish. Women are on guard in general when it comes to guys on the net....being on a fetish site only makes them more wary of weird dudes...and we all know...we have plenty of weird dudes here.

2) Post a pic. A good one with you smiling. A pic with you doing something cool. And a pic of you hanging out with friends. Paint a picture of what it's like to chill with you.


GQ

 

[socktickler86]

I respect your opinion, but I don't agree that it's an accurate representation of reality. By your logic the guys here are extreme tickle purist....not caring about looks right? Then why don't guys tickle other guys? Attraction has to be there right? Guys don't tickle guys...not because they're guys but because they're not attracted to guys. Attraction is key.

But this does happen! A lot! I'm not sure why you haven't noticed it.

There is something I have forgotten in my analysis, however. Many guys here admittedly have low self-esteem or no confidence. So if attraction were key, that wouldn't automatically mean they're solely attracted to the hot chicks. You may be right unfortunately.

 

[Paige]

Well the way I see it...anything that involves a physical action that turns each other on, does in fact need to have some sort of actual visual attraction to ignite the fire.

It would be very unrealistic to just assume that since you both are into tickling that age and appearance aren't going to matter. Not saying that anybody actually said that though. But while we're on this topic; yes, I think physical attraction is very helpful.

Just be realistic with yourself and don't be surprised if some people are not attracted to you.

Hey Gang, first-time poster here (good evening to one and all ). Found this topic very interesting and agree 100% with Raystanz. About a year ago I was chatting with a guy on another fetish site and was looking forward to some casual fun. Unfortunately when I met him there was zero attraction so I couldn't proceed. So while a Brad Pitt type is not required, there still has to be some inkling of attraction.

 

[grandizer]

Well written thread my friend. Kudos!

 

[GQguy]

But this does happen! A lot! I'm not sure why you haven't noticed it.

There is something I have forgotten in my analysis, however. Many guys here admittedly have low self-esteem or no confidence. So if attraction were key, that wouldn't automatically mean they're solely attracted to the hot chicks. You may be right unfortunately.

Really? Straight guys tickle straight guys? Wow. I didn't know that. Shit dude, guys are acting like they're in jail. Next thing I know we'll see ticklees traded for cigarettes and the new tickle abuse video. Damn.

A guy with low self esteem still wants a chic right? The question is how much quality that girl has. A desperate guy will go for a lesser quality girl. But if the option is there for the hot chic he'll take it in a heartbeat.