A serious question for everyone here.

[Ayla ny]

knowing what you want and need, and being unwilling to settle for anything less, can be nothing but good. and I congratulate you on that, Jen. I think that the problem lies with fitting that into reality. fantasy is... fantasy. perfect in every way. reality is so much more... real.

realizing that you want tickling to be a part of (yes, just part of ... but absolutely a part of) a whole relationship takes also realizing that the other parts of that relationship need to be filled by a real, whole person. something not everyone is ready for. it sometimes seems that we have spent so long focusing on the tickling that we forget how to incorporate it into our everyday lives.

Jen, you lay your cards on the table like no one I have ever seen. it is what we all wish we had the courage to do. and if karma is good... it will pay off in spades for you.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

I've had opportunities to fulfill many fantasies. And the reason why I haven't has nothing to do with fear.

I am actually waiting for that one special person who will come into my life, come to stay. The one who will prayerfully love me forever, unconditionally! And of course I would feel the same way about him.

Man.... love and tickling goes hand and hand, and as great as some of the people are whom I have played with, I want to fulfill my greatest fantasies with the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

There are times when I get discouraged and think that maybe I ask for too much. Maybe that dream person doesn't exist. It can't be worth it to wait for something that is never going to happen. But it is worth it! I'm telling you, it REALLY is!

It seems to me, from the ladies who are writing on this thread especially, that there are a lot of us who know exactly what we want.

Sometimes we get in a relationship knowing that we are settling for less (for whatever reason), but we know what we want! Why settle? Have the confidence to know that you are worth it! You CAN be real. You CAN state what you want and STICK with it and GO get it! You don't have to hide behind who you really are, or what you really hope to accomplish.

So many times we opt to stay and keep our mouths shut just to hold on to a person with this "hope" that the person will change, live up to his/her potential, or come around, or compromise, get better, grow up, do SOMETHING! And we waste the time and the tears fantasizing and fretting over something that is NOT really there instead of focusing on the reality that, if that person is NOT "the person" we can't change them or force them or convince them to be/ do something different.

Fantasies are nice, but they offer temporary happiness.

Just remember that you are worth it no matter what anyone says. And that person, your person (the "one") will find you when you least expect it. You're Worth It!!!

Live, Laugh and TICKLE
Sunriseticklee

 

[njjen3953]

Just remember that you are worth it no matter what anyone says. And that person, your person (the "one") will find you when you least expect it. You're Worth It!!!

Which is why I added this to my ad:

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=148343#post148343

 

[BigJim]

Personally Jen I think there's nothing immoral about it at all. I think everyone should fulfill their fantasies providing they are as you described.

 

[46and2]

Re: Hi, Jen...

My own circumstances are being married to a wonderful woman who unfortunately thinks my fascination is not good. Even through persistent gentle prodding to explore tickling together her reactions have left me feeling very cold inside, vulnerable, and on some levels shattered. JP

I feel ya there brother, although I've never been married I've certainley been in a long relationship where I've had to endure my partner being shall we say, less then accepting of my respective paraphilia (yep, that's what it is for me, it's beyond a fetish). However I don't completley blame her, she didn't like being tickled. How can you expect to fullfill a fantasy with someone who doesn't enjoy what you do, and isn't the least bit interested in exploring it? She was (and still is)a wonderful person, she never judged me for it. We ended our romance for unrelated reasons.
When I finally found someone who was willing to explore this with me, I realised I was with her for the wrong reasons, and she with me for the wrong reasons (......ARRRRRRRRGH!). She wanted a crutch and it turned out we had very little in common. I wasn't with her long and broke up with her as gently as I possibly could,(this is on topic just stay with me a minute and you'll see why) I felt guilty , we were using each other and I really couldn't continue. She bawled and did not want to talk to me. I found at later that she had spread my "perverted habits" ...among people I was friends with, she thought it was rather funny and it gave her some kind of satisfaction. Some of my friends who were women treated me much differently after hearing about this, and needless to say some of my friendships dissolved because of this. So the point of this sad story: I know the consequences of trying to live out a sexual fantasy with the wrong person. To awnser the original question: this is why I'm very weary of approaching anyone (whom I'd be intimate with) about my sexuality and especially about living out a fantasy. In effect I guess it's positive and those people are the kind who would make snap judgements on everyone else because of there own selfishness and insecurities (the people I hate the most). Although it's really hard to believe that I'm not the problem sometimes.

 

[njjen3953]

Re: Re: Hi, Jen...

To awnser the original question: this is why I'm very weary of approaching anyone (whom I'd be intimate with) about my sexuality and especially about living out a fantasy. In effect I guess it's positive and those people are the kind who would make snap judgements on everyone else because of there own selfishness and insecurities (the people I hate the most). Although it's really hard to believe that I'm not the problem sometimes.

That is exactly why I hesitate to even look for a partner in the vanilla world. "Coming Out" helped me heal from old wounds and I refuse to go back into hiding and repression.

 

[46and2]

Re: Re: Re: Hi, Jen...

That is exactly why I hesitate to even look for a partner in the vanilla world. "Coming Out" helped me heal from old wounds and I refuse to go back into hiding and repression.

I fully understand the logic in that...it is kind of depressing to think that you can't just meet someone your interested in without wondering "What will they think of my tickling fetish?" and "Our they ticklish?". Like you need other worries on top of all the other bullshit games that happen while dating .