I doubt your tickle fetish is what is slowing you down. It's your attractiveness. Attractiveness encompasses many things and it's something that some have naturally while others must study it to become it. I suggest you study the characteristics that your ideal woman would find attractive. Write these things down along with ways to embody this. It can be as simple as "a buff body"->"go to the gym".
When you're able to accept yourself everyone around you will accept you.
GQ
I think I generally look pretty good, definitely on par with most guys. I've been working 50 hours a week doing data entry but try to get five days in at the gym, at least. FYI, it's transitioned from weight training to all cardio, as despite being stronger, I guess I fit the bill for "fat" or "filling the frame just a bit too much"; moreover I'm doing it for my health. On the other hand I don't think this takes me out of the race totally, as only tonight, just two hours ago, I saw about 10 fat guys with girls that I'd date.
And whats with this "accept yourself" biz? I don't want to get into a tangent, but let me explain things here.
I accept myself, I just don't think
others accept me. I get ignored online (whereas only a few short years ago I could still hit someone up on a myspace and still grab a date, now........nothing. At all).
On the other hand I have a friend who is
in a relationship,
has a decent job, and is in a band that plays out regularly, and he constantly puts himself down. His latest kick is he thinks he's a sociopath (and depressed, but thats another matter) and wants to go into therapy to save him from himself. Ironically, my best friend here, is actually more viable for a relationship than I am, yet is shyer, more socially reserved, and much less open than I am. Something is askew......
This. I guess I look at it as all being more of a "grass is always greener" perspective.
I've spent the majority of the past decade in relationships (college will do that to you >_>). 3 major ones with about a year break between each, and I've found that I enjoyed the time as equally (if not, in some cases, moreso) than when I was in relationships. I bettered myself, I did things that were otherwise difficult to do in relationships (wanna pick up and go somewhere far away? It may be more costly with 2 people, but with just you... WHY NOT?!), etc etc. No matter what my status at the time was, I never particularly desires the other side of the boat. When I was single, I was happy being single and made it my goal to use the time to make myself a better person (ate right, worked out constantly, studied hard, worked hard, etc etc). However, that particular air seemed to draw me into more social settings would would lead to me ending up either dating someone or in a full blown relationship. Once I was in one, I didn't feel any more fulfilled than I was when I was single. I was just as happy with both, just in different ways. Things had changed, my time was now spent in other ways, but that was fine.
Personally, while I've found a particular level of attractiveness is halfway important, I've found demeanor is everything. My friends and folks that I know are basically split into two groups: those who can find relationships and those who can't. Those who can't are not particularly more or less attractive than those that can... what they are, however, is more afraid to just jump in ask a girl out even when they are completely likely to get rejected. This is where the "girls only like jerks" misnomer comes about. The "nice guys" are generally guys who are too scared to ask a girl out for fear of being rejected, so instead they wait and bide their time until they are sure she is interested, making sure that the situation is perfect. Then enters "the jerk", who does NOT bide his time and just asks her out. Since she is either oblivious to Mr. "Nice Guy"s feelings or just flat out tired of waiting on him, she goes out with Mr "Jerk". And suddenly you another person singing the woes of nice guys finishing last.
I think you enjoyed it because you had an actual relationship experience, and probably broke up for legit reasons (IE not something stupid). I, on the other hand, have simply done a bunch of what I'd call one-and-done dates (where you basically go out with the person, and end up not talking to them or seeing them again), and of course the two month long ventures I mentioned before (where the aforementioned stupid reasons to break up did happen both times). Granted, it is my demeanor. I grew up being treated roughly outside my home and gently inside. I became introverted. I'm starting to break the shell for myself tho, getting away from net dating (although it would be nice to find any at all, really...) and asking girls out. The latest trend for me appears to be asking the girl, getting the number, texting the girl maybe once or twice to attempt some sort of conversation, and finding through one way or another I get ignored into leaving them alone. Soo that's a pain in the ass as well.
I've always thought that people would think me weird for this... and hell, maybe this is just my lazy ass enveloping my ideas for dating...
I've always had a strict intolerance for 'pursuing' a love interest. Meaning that if she says no, it'll mean no tomorrow, the next day, three months from now, and into the next century. I am very much against the idea of even mildly pestering the girl- asking her out, giving her flowers, just bugging her in general- if she isn't attracted to you in some way from the get-go. Now, obviously this idea is in no way true. There are people who have developed attractions to other just because of their determination to impress them or whatnot... I just absolutely hate the idea. Don't get me wrong, I've never been big on the idea of 'soul mates' and whatnot, but I don't think that the start of a relationship should be forced. Sure, it could take time to get to know the girl/guy well enough to date them... but if they ever tell me 'no', then it's just no. It's not, 'well, maybe her preference will change tomorrow', it's just no.
Yea, I tend to do that. I stick with a strict "one chance" policy for a girl to show she's interested. After that? The sweetness stops, I turn away, and move onto another. Its worked with some, others it hasn't. But no, I definitely
do not stalk anyone, so get that one off the list.
I think a major problem is A: open minded girls are hard for me to find, and B: I have basically zero social circle now.