• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

A Treatise on Self-Righteous Nonsense

Ok time for a more proper response. I understand what you mean by there being a clique here. But its not a bad one. The UKTF has a clique, an impregnable group of friends who have taken over the UK tickling scene. You cant join in, you cant go to meetings and you cant voice an opinion. Its a shame. The TMF isnt like that. These people are friendly and helpful. The large amount of people here mean that a clique cant function properly. Yes the beautiful female members will visit the attractive hunky male members for tickle sex and they will no doubt live their fantasy over and over in tickle videos etc but thats because this is porn. Having breasts gives you the ticket to do what ever you want in the porn industry and as a man you will follow. Thats the way its always worked for every man who enjoys porn from johnny castle to the 17 year old discovering XXXcams.com for the first time, women are #1.
Having said that re-approach this board to see you are surrounded by 1000s of single middle aged men and realize you wont find anything but online friendships here. Secondly start to join in and aim to get some online friendships going. Hey presto, your in the 'clique' 🙂
 
I would say it is pretty natural that people who know each other personally or from chats will act different around each other than around the people they don't share that kind of closeness with. That's life!

I am not part of what you call "cliques", but I still don't feel like I am treated differently because of that in any way. I feel like people agree with me if they agree with me or don't if they don't, because they share or don't share my opinion, and not because I am not part of a clique.
 
You choose not to involve yourself, Tidas. You just said it yourself in outlining the areas where you spend most of your time.

That's not my problem, or anyone elses. YOU choose your involvement. No one seems to be smiting you for spending most of your time in A/v, are they? Yet you reach out and lash at people who spend more time in areas that you don't?

The people that seem the most tiffed about a clique are those who seem to predominantly spend time in A/v. Now, shit, if there's any kinda clique, it's the A/v folks. =P

But seriously, where's your concrete evidence that there's a clique, one and two, how it's completely impeding on your time downloading, watching and commenting on work done here, if there is one?

This is exactly the type of attitude I'm talking about. I don't spend my time solely in A/V. I never even mentioned it. Not only have I not lashed out at anyone, I am trying to argue a point logically, only to be responded to with accusatory tones, and harsh language. Hardly an inviting attitude wouldn't you say?

Bella, I really do respect you and your position, but again, you miss the point. When in the past attempts have been made to discuss something, I have been ignored or met with hostility. I have no problems with people thinking I am boring, or not someone they want to be friends with, but having your post skipped over in a thread is not indicative of a group that behaves in an engaging and friendly manner is it? It's not a ball and court situation, it is a fact or fiction situation. The fact is, there are groups on the forum who act to the exclusion of others. Not just yours, but as CrystalLight so *cough* eloquently pointed out, the Media folks, the writers, the artists, the chatroom lurkers, many groups. I think we should all take a lesson from Ryan from Rook's and just be nice to people. Especially people who share the same unique thread we all share.
 
Ok time for a more proper response. I understand what you mean by there being a clique here. But its not a bad one. The UKTF has a clique, an impregnable group of friends who have taken over the UK tickling scene. You cant join in, you cant go to meetings and you cant voice an opinion.

I managed to join in, go to meetings and voice differing opinions seemingly with no issue. I might just have lucked out, I dunno.
 
This is exactly the type of attitude I'm talking about. I don't spend my time solely in A/V. I never even mentioned it. Not only have I not lashed out at anyone, I am trying to argue a point logically, only to be responded to with accusatory tones, and harsh language. Hardly an inviting attitude wouldn't you say?


So, because of how you took my post and the lack of emoticons except for a (=P) face, it automatically was accusatory and harsh?

What am I accusing you of exactly, besides claiming there is a clique?

A quick look at your past posts before entering this thread showed that you were mainly within A/v and posting happily there.

Tone can be a card thrown both ways, Tidas. Because as far as I saw, I was discussing a point logically with you. Yet you seemed anxious to quickly peg me as someone who was treating you unfairly instead of as an adult like my main intent was.

-- Perhaps the hostility you noted in the latter part of your post is due to your interpretation of posts.
 
So, because of how you took my post and the lack of emoticons except for a (=P) face, it automatically was accusatory and harsh?

What am I accusing you of exactly, besides claiming there is a clique?

A quick look at your past posts before entering this thread showed that you were mainly within A/v and posting happily there.

Tone can be a card thrown both ways, Tidas. Because as far as I saw, I was discussing a point logically with you. Yet you seemed anxious to quickly peg me as someone who was treating you unfairly instead of as an adult like my main intent was.

-- Perhaps the hostility you noted in the latter part of your post is due to your interpretation of posts.

The truth of my prior posting with regards to the subforums I posted in is irrelevant in this case, as it was the assumption you brought to the table. Your diction is accusatory and harsh, "smiting" "lash out" "tiffed" When none of those words describe anything that was contained in my posts. This whole discussion is moot anyway. The fact that I make posts for years, and barely receive a response, and I make one about there being an "inner circle" and I am inundated with responses seems to indicate that I am correct in my appraisal of the situation.
 
only to be responded to with accusatory tones, and harsh language. Hardly an inviting attitude wouldn't you say?

I vouch for CrystalLight dude that she means only good 🙂
 
The truth of my prior posting with regards to the subforums I posted in is irrelevant in this case, as it was the assumption you brought to the table. Your diction is accusatory and harsh, "smiting" "lash out" "tiffed" When none of those words describe anything that was contained in my posts. This whole discussion is moot anyway. The fact that I make posts for years, and barely receive a response, and I make one about there being an "inner circle" and I am inundated with responses seems to indicate that I am correct in my appraisal of the situation.

Okay, I apologize that those words came off as so, even though they weren't really directed at you..

And I think that your OP invited conversation and discussion, and you got it; just not the kind you might have been hoping for, or actually the kind that you were. Either way, you just don't want to be happy with anything that is said and that's unfair to those who might be interested in talking to you or even getting to know you, that you'll cut it off as soon as it gets a little rough around the edges.

I am sorry for coming off harshly, however. It wasn't my intent.
 
The fact that I make posts for years, and barely receive a response, and I make one about there being an "inner circle" and I am inundated with responses seems to indicate that I am correct in my appraisal of the situation.

Again...I don't consider me being part of the "inner circle" you are referring to, but I still get responses to posts! Not to all posts of course, but to posts that others find interesting enough to respond to!

I don't think one has anything to do with the other!
 
Okay, I apologize that those words came off as so, even though they weren't really directed at you..

And I think that your OP invited conversation and discussion, and you got it; just not the kind you might have been hoping for, or actually the kind that you were. Either way, you just don't want to be happy with anything that is said and that's unfair to those who might be interested in talking to you or even getting to know you, that you'll cut it off as soon as it gets a little rough around the edges.

I am sorry for coming off harshly, however. It wasn't my intent.

I think most of what you said here is fair. I probably do have a bit of a chip on my shoulder due to past experiences, and those of my friends here. That being said, I am not cutting anything off because it's being harsh, I just don't see the need to attack me and not the issue. I am glad that wasn't your intent, and I believe that to be the case. We all love the forum, and criticism is not always taken lightly. Perhaps my anger stems from jealousy, perhaps not. Either way, my name is Mike, and it's nice to have met you. (here's an emoticon for you. 😀 )
 
I think most of what you said here is fair. I probably do have a bit of a chip on my shoulder due to past experiences, and those of my friends here. That being said, I am not cutting anything off because it's being harsh, I just don't see the need to attack me and not the issue. I am glad that wasn't your intent, and I believe that to be the case. We all love the forum, and criticism is not always taken lightly. Perhaps my anger stems from jealousy, perhaps not. Either way, my name is Mike, and it's nice to have met you. (here's an emoticon for you. 😀 )

PM Sent. :twohugs:
 
rofl ... ok like the guy who keeps singing after the songs ends...this thread has come to a nice close 🙂
 
The cliquers do many things differently than me. They are more social, spend more time in general discussions, probably attend gatherings and munches. I can't go to gatherings, and I don't spend much time in general, so that sets me apart.

Well, dude, there's your answer right there. It's not weird that people who like interacting with people more are going to...interact with people more.:shrug:

You want to join in, join in. You're gonna be judged on the content of what you post, not who you are.

Unless you start a thread specifically complaining about cliques and how everyone always ignores you...you do that, and we might start judging you. 😉
 
I dunno, I've been here since before the TMF and I've only begun being more active in the past year or so. I'm not a member of any clique, nor do I try to be. My threads get responses and I participate in discussions. I've never felt that any person or people here were ignoring me or keeping me down.

You just have to be yourself and participate in things (discussons, a gathering, chat room, phone call, whatever) and you will make friends. Believe me, you will make friends. I'm thrilled about being in the Fortress of Nerditude with friends I made here at the gathering this weekend. We'll have a blast!

That's my advice.
 
This is exactly the type of attitude I'm talking about. I don't spend my time solely in A/V. I never even mentioned it. Not only have I not lashed out at anyone, I am trying to argue a point logically, only to be responded to with accusatory tones, and harsh language. Hardly an inviting attitude wouldn't you say?

Bella, I really do respect you and your position, but again, you miss the point. When in the past attempts have been made to discuss something, I have been ignored or met with hostility. I have no problems with people thinking I am boring, or not someone they want to be friends with, but having your post skipped over in a thread is not indicative of a group that behaves in an engaging and friendly manner is it? It's not a ball and court situation, it is a fact or fiction situation. The fact is, there are groups on the forum who act to the exclusion of others. Not just yours, but as CrystalLight so *cough* eloquently pointed out, the Media folks, the writers, the artists, the chatroom lurkers, many groups. I think we should all take a lesson from Ryan from Rook's and just be nice to people. Especially people who share the same unique thread we all share.


Thank you for your kind words of respect, it's mutual 🙂 Having said that, disagreeing with you doesn't mean I missed your point. The fact is that if your posts have been skipped over on occasion it has nothing to do with Cliques or inner circles, it happens to all of us; heck, I recently made a post about one of my favorite comedians and received *0* responses. I didn't take it as a reflection of my so-called status and position; it meant no one wanted to respond, nothing more. I would think the fact that you're being addressed right now would indicate that people here do indeed respond when the topic is engaging no matter who you are 😎
 
Thank you for your kind responses Bella, and I was wrong, perhaps you do get my point after all. I think CrystalLight had a touch of it too, that maybe I interpret things as hostile, when they aren't necessarily that way. Fair enough. I also agree that this is a valid topic of discussion. I didn't start the thread, but I think I have certainly learned a bit from it. However, I am not alone in my original point, and I know that the concept of cliquishness is felt by many here. I maybe slowly changing my mind about the current TMF, we'll see.
 
Honestly, I think that this post delves into the deeper recesses of human nature and social interaction. In a perfect world everyone would notice the
feelings and opinions of everyone else and respond equally.
But this gets into bias. So many people talk about prejudice and bias.
But how can we be absolutely unbiased? I believe a person utterly
lacking in bias is a person with absolutely no opinions or feelings of their own
and that is the antithesis of life.
Having biases and feelings about people and things is what makes us human.

Therefore what might be called 'cliques' form without any concerted effort
from the 'members'. I can certainly sympathize with Tidas having been shy my entire life and being a social pariah for the first half of it.
While our situations may be different, I definitely know what it's like to feel
ignored by a close-knit group of friends (when in actuality there was no
premeditated intent on their part to do so).

However, I also realized several years ago that I was a social pariah not
because other people viewed me as strange or wierd, but because I was
unwilling to risk the potential rejection of voicing opinions in a public setting.

Breaking into a group of people who are unfamiliar with you and making them
warm up to you may be a difficult undertaking if you are withdrawn and have an introverted personality. But it's certainly not impossible. It's just a struggle that you will only have the personal satisfaction of being glad you made later in life!
 
I am not alone in my original point, and I know that the concept of cliquishness is felt by many here. I maybe slowly changing my mind about the current TMF, we'll see.
I'll start off by saying Mike, I've seen you post over the years (when I was still lurking) and always thought of you as an active member. Your girlfriend (that you turned on to this world) got her own account and posted around too. There is perception for ya. I looked at you as active as anyone else here.

Beyond that, I will say though, people not involved or that don't try to make friendships here or get to know people here find it easy to join on the bandwagon of a silly word like clique. It's easier for those people to just blame it on the word and move one. It's easier for people to hate/distrust/look down upon people by making them out to be bad/not worth their time/jerks, than it is to put themselves out there and go find out for themselves. People say Bella and CystalLight are in a clique, and its easy to say "yep I agree". Then, just changing that little idea within themselves automatically changes how you read what they say, WHAT you read into what they say, and so forth. Truth is when I delurked, Jo is the first person I pm'ed about something, and I got none of the big scary tough girl people like to make her out to be. We had a good convo and its lead to her being my best friend a year later. First time I sent Bella any kind of correspondence just to ask if I could come to her gathering, she invited me to stay at her house. Both times it was hard to reach out to a total stranger and put yourself out there, but it had to be done, and the rewards since have been non stop.

So I'm not at all challenging you, just saying that there is a VERY unfair burden being slapped on people with a word such as clique, which by definition requires exclusivity, and then said people are told, "defend yourself and tell me WHY I'm wrong". The truth is they were labeled to begin with, so those bringing the labels should be the ones to explain themselves in detail, not the other way around.

The hard truth is, its hard to feel like we're on the outside looking in. We've all dealt with that on some level throughout our lives. When we're kids its the worst, because those cliques do form and they can't be penetrated and people carry those scars/experiences with them throughout their lives and it becomes an insecurity that rears its ugly head from time to time whether we want it to or not. How we handle that insecurity helps make us who we are. I suggest to people in that group trying to make a change for themselves and wanting to know people and get active, don't look at a group of people and say "how do I get into that group", look at individuals that you'd like to know a little bit better and try to get to know people one on one. Because they are NOT cliques, there is no magic pass to achieve to automatically be friends with everyone. Just be honest and straightforward with people, and let them know you enjoy their posts and would like to get to know them better and let the chips fall where they may. Being friends with any one person or group here, myself included doesn't make or define who anyone else is as a person. You are your own puppeteer in life. :bubble:
 
I find it interesting that the OP has yet to say anything more...aside from pointing out that nobody had responded after 49 views. I couldn't help noticing, however, that the post was made during a time that, for most here, is late at night on a work night. So, that could also play into things. I myself just saw this thread for the first time while taking a quick look to see what was up before fixing dinner. I'd be curious to see a response from the OP now that the topic has been discussed openly...yet again.

My personal take, having been around since before the TMF was born? It was a much more hostile and (to me) uninviting atmosphere in the old newsgroups than I have ever seen it here. In fact, that is why I never joined in on them in spite of the wealth of good material being shared. However, that doesn't mean that anyone (myself included) is going to enjoy feeling ignored, left out, etc.

I've been a pretty active member here since Drew & I joined back in 2001 (right after our wedding). In that time, there have been a few occassions when I've felt left out of things. Each was the result of my own inability to join in...whether because of life circumstances keeping me from being online or simply being in a frame of mind where I didn't feel like getting involved in stuff.

Not everyone is able to join in things as much as I...and many others. Sometimes, we forget that others aren't as fortunate in their freedom as we are. It's only natural that those who have had a chance to interact more, esp. in person, will be quicker to respond to those whom they know than to those who are relative strangers. I suppose it's because there's a certain level of comfort and familiarity that has been developed. Given a reasonable opportunity, we would likely respond in kind with those whom we have not yet had the priveledge of getting to know.

We may also forget, as was pointed out in the OP, that not everyone views their love of tickling the same way that we do. I think that this, while unfortunate, is a natural and unintended side effect of the fact that we each tend to approach things from our own unique perspectives. Because, for many of us, tickling is something that we are very passionate about (though still on a variety of levels) we're going to address and defend it just as passionately.

I'll use myself as an example here, lest I annoy anyone else by using them. As anyone who's seen a good portion of my posts is aware, I am big on community. That's my experience of tickling...as a means of interacting with friends and a sometimes tool in building relationships. That's my own reason for being here. If it were simply a sexual thing, I wouldn't be here at all. (I don't need to be. I'm here for the friendships and community, not the fetish.) Because of this unique view/experience, I tend to come across rather harshly at times, even though I don't intend to do so in defending the community and those in it.

I, like many others, need to try to keep in mind that everyone's experiences are different and not react as if they were the same as my own. I know I can sometimes get crazy about those who insist that is MUST be a sexual thing. That's not my experience. So, I can understand how some must feel much the same. Does this type of thing play into the sense of being left out or pushed away. Perhaps.

There are areas where improvement is necessary. We can sit here and argue the individual points until we're blue in the face. But, until we each accept responsibility for our own shortfallings and act to correct them ("for the sake of the community" :neenerneener:), nothing is going to change.
 
What's New
10/4/25
Check out the TMF Chat Room. It's free to all members and always busy!

Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1704 ***
The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Top