addiction

[Edge]

I think it comes down to your "needs" vs. "desires." Some of us may "need" tickling as part of our life and others may simply "desire" it. If you're with someone who doesn't want any part of it but you love her more than you love tickling then stay with her.

 

[MBDex]

FWIW, fetishes are objectification.

I'm not sure I agree that all fetishes, or all parts of a fetish, are based in objectification. Many are, and I certainly have my decade of experience with the objectifying parts of tickling, but my play experiences frequently took me to places past how pretty someone's feet looked (not to say that they didn't, I've tickled some lovely ones!), a bigger focus for me became how great it is to bring joy out of someone who loves being tickled as much as I like tickling them.

Much of my addiction was based in objectification, and moving away from that has shown me how much more there is to my enthusiasm for tickling.

 

[MBDex]

Wow, what a great thread and discussion! Thanks for starting this with your question about addiction, takatala!

I've had a few posts on this wonderful website forum about my addiction to women's feet and their tickling.

If you'd like to read more, here are a few links to check out:

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?297168-Sending-out-an-S-O-S

https://helpwithaddictiontoday.word...ly-have-a-porn-addiction-after-watching-this/

My experience sounds alot like hcdreader's having to break my habit of watching tickling videos for hours on end.

I'm now at 276 days of not watching a tickling video and masturbating to orgasm while doing it. It hasn't been easy I can tell you that.

I'm still struggling in my relationship with my spouse, but I can say that I've made huge progress in our relationship over the last year with me not using the time I'd normally use to masturbate to foot tickling videos, and instead use it to getting healthier in my body and mind (physical exercise and meditation).

I give alot of the credit of my ability to resist the temptation to consume endless hours of ticking media to Noah Church who has a YouTube channel dedicated to helping people addicted to pornography.

If you haven't seen or listened to his work, it's worth a few minutes of your time if you are like me.

It's obvious that there are many on this thread who are not like me and don't struggle with these fetishes of women's feet and tickling said women's feet.

I am in awe of you all. Truly I am.

These two fetishes are my character flaw and also something I'm learning to appreciate about myself that I am so addicted to these two things in my life.

As Tara Brach talks about, I've had to have 'tea with Mara' when it comes to my two fetishes.

https://www.tarabrach.com/inviting-mara-to-tea/

And so far, tea time hasn't been so bad.

Again, I just really appreciate all that's been said on this thread.

I so appreciate this community of people who share in some way a piece of how I view the world.

It's not always easy talking about these things, but at least it helps to know we're not alone.

Happy Sunday to you all and wishing you all kindness and compassion today and always with yourself and others. But first and foremost with yourself.

I'm trying to get better at both the self and others part. A very easy thing to say, a monumentally hard, yet still achievable, and ultimately, something I think will be incredibly valuable to the rest of the planet.

Looks like we're kin! Been there, buddy. Keep fightin' the good fight!!

 

[Littlechambers]

Great post. My opinion is that everyone is different. For me- it can be cheating to do the T word with someone else. And for me, I do want my partner to be into the same things I’m into. It is just a matter of finding someone who is open to doing what you like, or happens to like it as well.
Is it an addiction? I feel that’s a strong word. Every day I come home and watch TV- am I addicted to TV or is it just a habit built on my desire to do something?
I think it’s only an addiction if it’s hurting yourself or others. And we are each responsible for finding the balance of meeting our own needs, and the needs of other others, without doing harm.

 

[laughtermech]

Hi takatala, sorry so late w/ my reply. Thanks for your kind words. Rereading what I posted from last year, I guess I was trying to get rid of my fetish, but really only the online portion of it, if you will. Was trying to focus on real life aspects for expression of my fetish. To be quite honest, I’ve gone back to my online fetish ways. Can’t remember how many days I lasted. Still not quite sure what to make of my last year and a quarter since I posted last. Am in a bit of a depression I think about my life. Am seeing a therapist, and trying to just keep getting up everyday and putting one foot in front of the other (no pun intended). I think the real issue for me is my lack of intimacy in my primary relationship with my spouse and my other relationships. There is a tremendous amount of shame I carry having this fetish and teying to keep it hidden from others. My wife knows about my foot and tickle fetishes, but we have a host of other relational problems that make it hard to progress to intimacy. Guess I’ll just stop there and not bum too many people out.

 

[laughtermech]

Thanks MBDex. Appreciate the kind words and encouragement. Truly, I do.

 

[dvnc]

I'm not sure I agree that all fetishes, or all parts of a fetish, are based in objectification. Many are, and I certainly have my decade of experience with the objectifying parts of tickling, but my play experiences frequently took me to places past how pretty someone's feet looked (not to say that they didn't, I've tickled some lovely ones!), a bigger focus for me became how great it is to bring joy out of someone who loves being tickled as much as I like tickling them.

Much of my addiction was based in objectification, and moving away from that has shown me how much more there is to my enthusiasm for tickling.

I wasn't seeking agreement. I was stating a fact.

fet·ish
/ˈfediSH/

noun
noun: fetish; plural noun: fetishes

1. a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

For some, here, it's a paraphilia. A paraphilia is a "(previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. No consensus has been found for any precise border between unusual sexual interests and paraphilic ones.

 

[TMF Jeff]

I wasn't seeking agreement. I was stating a fact.

fet·ish
/ˈfediSH/

noun
noun: fetish; plural noun: fetishes

1. a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

For some, here, it's a paraphilia. A paraphilia is a "(previously known as sexual perversion and sexual deviation) is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals. No consensus has been found for any precise border between unusual sexual interests and paraphilic ones.

Not that you're seeking agreement, but I don't agree with that either 🙂

Tickling may not be a fetish by the original use of the term, which comes from talisman-ism - "an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit." But I tend to go with what wikipedia has to say about common usage of the term -

"In common parlance, the word fetish is used to refer to any sexually arousing stimuli, not all of which meet the medical criteria for fetishism. This broader usage of fetish covers parts or features of the body (including obesity and body modifications), objects, situations and activities (such as smoking or BDSM)"

I mean, it's an extremely fine point to hang a disagreement on. Everyone knows what you mean when you say you have a tickling fetish, and people aren't, in my experience, likely to say "Wait a minute, a fetish can only be an object, what you're saying doesn't make any sense."

 

[dvnc]

I quote the dictionary. You excerpt from wikipedia.

How a culture or subculture changes use of language is specific to that group, and wikipedia is modified outside of language definitions. Much like "normal" people hearing TMF folk talking about a "lee" or "ler", it's only relevant to the "common parlance" of the subculture.

Means that a small group redefining the meaning doesn't change where the word comes from or it's original use.

Mind ya, they don't know that we've had this discussion before. 🙂

Oh, the wiki for "sexual fetishism" is a clearer:

Sexual fetishism or erotic fetishism is a sexual fixation on a nonliving object or nongenital body part.[1] The object of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object is a fetishist.[2] A sexual fetish may be regarded as a non-pathological aid to sexual excitement, or as a mental disorder if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life.[1][3] Sexual arousal from a particular body part can be further classified as partialism.[4]

 

[MBDex]

Thanks MBDex. Appreciate the kind words and encouragement. Truly, I do.

Of course, man! Anything I can do to help a fellow tickle-person move through the world. 🙂

As for what dvnc was saying, I don't really feel a need to define my, or anybody else's, kink/fetish/paraphilia by what a dictionary says it is, and I don't see those scholarly, almost clinical definitions as helpful in this situation. Everybody's experience with this sort of thing is different, and we can use dictionary definitions as a way of identifying an experience, or improve understanding of one another, but I caution against labeling someone's kinky patterns in such a black-and-white way. People first!

 

[HallKogan]

I was browsing around looking for a story posted here and stumbled on this.


https://www.ticklingforum.com/showt...rote-a-Book-About-Addiction-Thought-I-d-Share

 

[laughtermech]

Thanks for sharing this HallKogan. Will check it out.

 

[HallKogan]

Thanks for sharing this HallKogan. Will check it out.

Welcome

 

[MistressTickleM]

I don't think it's cheating if sexual parts are left out of the equation. All my lees wear shorts and I don't tickle what is in the shorts. Also, a part of the reason I am still single and never married is that I've been on here since 2001 and I have ran into so many unhappy people who have spouses who won't play. I resolved long ago, either I'd have my future hubby into it or I wouldn;t marry. it is looking like the latter option is going to be my fate. I am launching my tickling business in the spring to satiate my tickling needs and get a little cash on the side for it. I dont think there is anything wrong with that. this doesn't control my life though it has made getting through the loss of my mother easier because I can come on here and talk to individuals who think at least to some degree like me. I love tickling and always will. I have been a ler since age 3 and I will lee for close friends (sometimes, you just need to feel it. It is great stress-relief and the endorphin release is so powerful. This is a great discussion and there are some great answers here.

 

[DebonairDavid]

Hi guys,

My first post here!! I am excited to be here and so I decided to post something.
I encounter a guy that had such an addiction to his fetish that it was ruining his life, productivity and even relationship. Like couldn't stop trying to get women into his fetish.
His wife found out and started to seriously question her relationship with him. I adviced him and I could make some massive change for the better. But it got me wonder...Is there a lot of us experiencing that?
So please guys let's share what you think, if you know someone or experience it yourself.


How did you deal with it?
What are your worries, your fear about your fetish?
What are your dreams and are you realizing them?
Do you think it is cheating to do it with someone else while in relationship?
Did your fetish took over your life?

Thanks guys!! 🙂

Did you manage to help this guy overcome his addiction? Are he and his wife still together now?

As my own experiences with it, my fetishes started off as curiosity and later interest in childhood, but became a problem in response to my parents not satisfying my emotional needs, due to how bad their own childhoods were, and my hormones exasperating my Autistic symptoms, causing me to struggle with having appropriate relationships with women and still be single to this day. On top of having an internet addiction, I've also consumed quite a bit of porn over the years as well. To answer your questions:

• I recently realized my addiction to my fetishes was causing so many problems in my life, and made the decision to focus on more important things, such as getting into electrician apprenticeships, cleaning up around my apartment, and completing errands. However, trying to get all of that into motion has been a challenge because not self-caring has to led to a number of chores not being completed, which made me feel overwhelmed and annoyed at first, but I managed to wash a sink full of dishes earlier. My occasional knee pain decided to rear it's ugly head again, but I'm treating it, despite how crabby it's making me feel. I've also started to binge watch reruns of Transformers Energon, but its not like spending all day watching it. I'd say this knee pain is really the only thing holding me back.
  
  
• I don't have any fears or worries about my fetishes themselves, but I have worried about my behavior problems causing relationship problems. This one female friend told me I shouldn't mention my problems with previous women unless the woman I'd be seeing asks about it. While I did have some fears of the woman's parents making snap judgments because my track record with women, I've learn to overcome that by putting my foot down and respectfully pushing back, saying I struggled with a lot of issues growing up but I worked through them and became a better person. Despite this being a bit controversial, I don't mind calling them bigots right to their faces because them thinking I'm still the old me is a slap in the face to the new me, especially when the new me is more than willing to treat their daughter like a lady.
  
  
• I don't understand your context about dreams and realizing them when it comes to overcoming addictions to fetishes
  
  
• While a fetish is a sexual interest in something, participating in a fetish and having actual intercourse are two different things, especially when tickling in and of itself is so vanilla. Its also worth mentioning that fetishizing someone and having sexual thoughts about them (ex: seeing them naked or imagining yourself having sex with them) are also two different things. So no, I don't think participating in fetish is cheating on a partner.
  
  
• Yes. Also, not to be a grammar Nazi, but you said took instead of take. 😛