Admit something you recently did that made you feel like an ass

[Em Es]

It does not have to be that bad or embarassing, just anything that made you glad no one saw you do it.

Here's something I did the other day, and, yes, I felt like an ass:

I watched the 1980s film Lifeforce just to see the stunning actress Mathilda May naked, especially since there are several lingering shots of her in the nude. To my surprise and delight, Lifeforce was running uncensored for free on my cable T.V. service, so I found some time alone and enjoyed lingering looks at Ms. May. That included freeze frames.

Please note that I don't read girlie mags nor view porn, not that I condemn those who do. She just lit my fire, that Mathilda May. Normally, unless tickling is involved, I pass on viewing such stuff.

What have you done lately that made you feel like an ass?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I mispronounced "slay-vishly" as "slah-vishly" LOL

There's always something absolutely retarded coming out of my mouth. I've learned to make sure my feet taste good 🙂

 

[Knot Amewzed]

I mispronounced "slay-vishly" as "slah-vishly" LOL

There's always something absolutely retarded coming out of my mouth. I've learned to make sure my feet taste good 🙂

LMAO!!!!

Could be worse. I was the one that gave you a definition for slah-vishly.

 

[Fluffie]

I jokingly made a reference to the Church of Satan at my church's bible study. Luckily it seemed to go over the heads of those I speaking to but I still felt pretty dumb.

**note to self** Learn when to keep my mouth SHUT.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

LMAO!!!!

Could be worse. I was the one that gave you a definition for slah-vishly.

LMAO - well I wasn't gonna say anything...

 

[C.K. Storyteller]

While visiting a relative in the hospital, I tried making a joke about the rest of the family taking a walk while she was going to be attended to by nurses. She got very upset, thinking we were leaving.

Yeah, I smacked myself.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Was so tired while talking to someone about something that I accidentally incorporated another conversation I had with someone else into the topic.

Didn't feel so much like an ass, but a mortified one.

 

[natural tickler]

I am not a telephone person, I communicate better face to face...unless the topic on the phone call was interesting, controversial, etc, that might keep my interest. Bore me, and I'll fall asleep on you, which is what I did to this chick the other day, but I slept light enough to add in some mmm hmms, etc to let her know I was listenin.....cant get the laugh out my system enough to ever tell her though

 

[naughtylucy]

Fell up the stairs to my flat.

I do that most days, actually. But I feel like a tit every time.

 

[sasaxrah]

Told a few "your mom" jokes to people who don't have mothers anymore... Yeah I'm done telling those.

 

[Gnome Your Role]

Told a few "your mom" jokes to people who don't have mothers anymore... Yeah I'm done telling those.

why were you so mean?

 

[chicago]

I was on my way home from work and stopped at Walgreens to pick up some cigarettes and eyeliner. The eyeliner was buy one get one free so I got two. As I was in line, my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I answered it, but with all the shit in my hands I absent-mindedly put the eyeliners in my bag. If I hadn't realized it before I was up to pay, I woulda really looked like an ass.

 

[natural tickler]

Told a few "your mom" jokes to people who don't have mothers anymore... Yeah I'm done telling those.

I still do that, but the people italk about are good folks, so they bring it back just as hard as I give it....hilarious jokes, because I knew all of the mothers

 

[kis123]

I was on my way home from work and stopped at Walgreens to pick up some cigarettes and eyeliner. The eyeliner was buy one get one free so I got two. As I was in line, my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I answered it, but with all the shit in my hands I absent-mindedly put the eyeliners in my bag. If I hadn't realized it before I was up to pay, I woulda really looked like an ass.

At least you caught it beforehand. I had gotten home only to find out I didn't pay for stuff. And those darned alarms didn't go off either........

Well between the attack of conscience and the fact I absolutely hate thieves, it's back to the store for payment and an embarassing explanation...

 

[sasaxrah]

why were you so mean?

In two cases, I didn't know their mothers had passed. In one case, it was just thoughtless.

 

[Sandrock74]

hmmm....

I was on a ride-on mower while I was at this horse ranch/stable place. I have my mp3 player on, listening to music and watching the ladies in their tight clothes riding their horses around, all the right parts jiggling and stuff....then the mower hit the fence of one of the horse paddocks! No damage, thankfully. However, one of the horses was right there eating and it looks up at me like I am a complete retard! (sorry to any retarded forum members)

 

[adrenalayna]

I was at a casino hotel in Reno and going down the elevator with my older sister, and some drunk chick was yelling about how it was her birthday the next day. There was a pause in conversation between everyone in the elevator so I asked, "So how old are you turning?"
I knew right when I was saying it that it was NOT a good idea. There was a collective "Ohhhhhhh" in the elevator and she looked at me like she was deciding whether to hurt me or not. I felt stupid for the rest of the night. Turns out she was just turning 31, anyway. I wish people wouldn't be so self-conscious about their age.

 

[steph]

I fell out of bed.

I'm the big joke amongst all my pals~"the eternal insomniac" because I almost never sleep a decent night's sleep. Ever. An hour or two well per night at the most. Somehow I managed to not only torque the shit out of my ankle that I've been hobbling around on it for the last 2 weeks but I landed so hard on my diamond sandals that I slashed myself up good. My boss is convinced it's either broken or fractured but my PIC just had a baby so he's out on daddy leave and newgirl Stina can't find her ass with both hands. Going out on leave isn't an option.

I mean, who the hell falls out of bed? Little kids and invalids. I'm so ashamed. Once a promising athlete, I used to have a motto: if you get injured, at least have a good story to go with it. I broke my own rule and I'm so embarassed.
XOXO

 

[naughtylucy]

I fell out of bed.

I'm the big joke amongst all my pals~"the eternal insomniac" because I almost never sleep a decent night's sleep. Ever. An hour or two well per night at the most. Somehow I managed to not only torque the shit out of my ankle that I've been hobbling around on it for the last 2 weeks but I landed so hard on my diamond sandals that I slashed myself up good. My boss is convinced it's either broken or fractured but my PIC just had a baby so he's out on daddy leave and newgirl Stina can't find her ass with both hands. Going out on leave isn't an option.

I mean, who the hell falls out of bed? Little kids and invalids. I'm so ashamed. Once a promising athlete, I used to have a motto: if you get injured, at least have a good story to go with it. I broke my own rule and I'm so embarassed.
XOXO

Poor Steph!

 

[Em Es]

As if it reveals something that does not already show?!

adrenalayna, of all the stories so far, yours stands out but only because you should not have felt foolish for asking a woman her age. What does one's age (or, come to think of it, weight) reveal that does not already show, for crying out loud? And don't women realize making a big deal about such matters only perpetuates double standards?

By the way, adrenalayna, I must compliment the photos you posted. You are photogenic and an attractive woman.

Thanks to all who have shared their ass-tounding anecdotes.

 

[poopies]

Once, some guy wanted to get on my back and have me carry him around the Grand Canyon, but I was feeling stubborn and didn't want to, so I kicked him with both my hind legs.

 

[natural tickler]

There is a lady at work who is rather butch, to say the least (yes she is lesbian), and she had a very negative conversation about men..... so then I said "if you hate men so much, why you trying so hard to look like one??" Everybody laughed, but she didn't take it so well.....she took to HR, but I told them it was in jest, no malicious intent.....they didn't find it too funny

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

There is a lady at work who is rather butch, to say the least (yes she is lesbian), and she had a very negative conversation about men..... so then I said "if you hate men so much, why you trying so hard to look like one??" Everybody laughed, but she didn't take it so well.....she took to HR, but I told them it was in jest, no malicious intent.....they didn't find it too funny

My water covered monitor and desk thank you.

 

[natural tickler]

My water covered monitor and desk thank you.

you're very welcome

 

[tklee88]

I did the ice cream and cake dance at rehearsal last night...

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yeah...
hot mess. It's fun as hell, though! 😀