NEST Advice
I decided to start this thread as more a list of suggestions for future NESTees, be they newbies or other. This is not a criticism or praise thread, but recommendations to future participants who don’t know what to expect, or feeling out of place, are facing their own learning curve to tackle. Contributions encouraged.
If you’re thinking about attending next year, consider the following:
Start your NEST now. If you’re a lurker, or shy, quiet, reserved or whathaveyou, de-lurk immediately. Start posting. Show us what you’re about. You have nothing to lose by being known and talking to people here, unless you’re some sort of sawed-off jerk. Let’s hope you’re not. The vast majority of the people here are very kind, friendly and understanding folks. Get to know at least a handful of people online (think, kids: handful=5) very well -- people you can feel comfortable with. That’s the first place to start. I can’t emphasize it enough. This group will be crucial to your enjoyment of festivities. If you’re not a member of a group, you may feel left out. Knowing one or two people isn’t enough, as they may abscond with another clique, and you will have no plans, know no one else, and empty time and idle hands are very unfortunate things for an aspiring ‘ler to have. As the charming Bella told me, “It’s all about who you know.” The more people you know, the better.
While you may be discouraged at being left out, don’t be offended by cliques. You will need them to an extent. Cliques are naturally formed by every large group of people for the sake of communication dynamics and comfort (you can’t very well have a group of 50+ people trying to participate in the same conversation, now can you? At least, not efficiently.). NESTers (wait, is it NESTees or NESTers? Oh,well...) seem to be a fairly amorphous group, bound by a common interest, but cliques, naturally, will form. You may eventually find yourself in one, too, as you get to know people. There may be future efforts made to make things less segregated, and give some greater sense of belonging or direction to activities, or perhaps, more organized plans may evolve which would be especially useful to newbies, but if not, you should be prepared for the possibility of not knowing where to go or what to do. You’re responsible for your experience. Regardless of conditions, this is why that core group of five people is so crucial -- when in doubt, if you’ve made these friends in advance, they’ll probably be able to hook you up with some direction or place to go.
Know that people aren’t just there for tickling. It’s a social event. Try to be sociable. Even if you’re shy. Most people are multifaceted, no matter our common interest. I hope you’re multifaceted, too. It makes you more interesting. I came chiefly wanting to meet people -- to find more people like me -- enjoy the company of others, revel in the diversity of people and personalities, and of course, join in the activities related to our common interest. Some in attendance may not be interested in tickling or being tickled at all (however counterintuitive that may first seem when attending a gathering of ticklephiles). They may just really need to feel out the scene first. Not everyone is as comfortable in their own skin as you, or some may be more so. Understand and appreciate the diversity of the human condition in this regard, and respect it. Feel free to offer invitations to activities to anyone or ask to participate therein, but understand you may be turned down for any number of reasons. If you’re meeting someone for the first time and have only chatted with them briefly prior, I don’t think asking them if they want to play is untoward (it is, after all, our common interest, and they always have the choice to turn you down), but also offer them the option to just talk if they’d rather. I still don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, and it gives them another way to better know you, if they want. If they’d rather not do either -- and some may not -- you did what you could, invited politely, offered conversation as an alternative, and that’s all you can do. Unfortunate? Perhaps. But there’s no shame in being turned down.
Know that there will be some discrepancies between online personalities and how they are in real life. Some persona discrepancies are bigger than others. On one side there is misrepresentation, and on another, misinterpretation. The human condition is riddled with both, which is why communication is an art, not a science. Just do your best, roll with it, and get to know people as they are if you have the time, and hope they’ll try to get to know you as you are as well. If you are offered no time, suck it up, and move on. Don’t get hung up on trying to get to know any one person, no matter how nice they may seem. There’s still a bunch of people you likely haven’t met, most of them very cool. Try to shake off the shyness and get to know some of them. People you've missed out on this time may very well be there the following year and may be more able and ready to spend time trying to get to know and understand you and others the next go round.
Elders of the community or simply those well connected with others might pick up some slack if there are blanks in the schedule by letting others know if there are get-togethers going on in their rooms.
I think it’s not only good to know as many people as possible, but also an exceedingly bad idea to go to one of these things knowing few to none, no matter how much you may want to attend, or how much you want to get out of your shell. While I don't want to discourage anyone from going who really wants to, if you don’t know anyone well, or only one or two, I would actually recommend NOT attending unless you are of the extraordinarily lucky, very few, very open and gregarious variety. Hence, the “Start your NEST now” recommendation. But that must be your decision.
However, I’ve made a protocol for a bad planning situation:
IF you’re facing the worst-case scenario, which in my assessment would be:
1.) You have ignored my recommendation of starting your NEST now (one year in advance), and know few to none, but have decided out of personal desire or need to attend NEST anyway.
2.) You’re not especially gregarious in person, but more the quiet, reserved sort who takes a bit to get warmed up to people before conversation really starts flowing, and face the prospect of asking to tickle/be tickled by someone with the same apprehension of a schoolboy asking a girl to dance for the first time.
3.) There’s a big question mark in the schedule where there seems to be essentially nothing planned.
The DON’Ts:
1.) DON'T seclude yourself to your room. No one knows who you are, or where you are.
2.) DON'T leave the hotel. You don’t know where the Hell anyone else is either, and trust me, trying to find anyone beyond the confines of the hotel is far too troublesome.
The DOs:
1.) DO find the room of an organizer, and see if there’s anything going on. (You may have needed to visit this room to register or somesuch. Even if you missed registration, find out who the organizers are and spend at least a bit of time getting to know them -- they are very much your hosts and should be acknowledged early on, not to mention, thanked for their service. Their work is what has afforded you a place there.)
If you can’t find the organizer’s room, or there’s nothing going on there...
2.) DO wander the hotel aimlessly. All floors.
Now, I understand, the second “DO” does sound strange, perhaps even counterintuitive. Nevermind that. Trust me. Do the second “DO”. If need be, take a snack or a book to read while you walk (Who knows? It may be a while).
Why do the second “DO”? Probability dictates if anyone recognizes you from a net pic or the social, and you’ve presented yourself as at least a half-way decent human being, sooner or later, someone entering or leaving a room where there’s some impromptu tickling going on will recognize you and say, “Hey! We’re tickling people over in Room X! You wanna’ join us?”
And there you go.
I lucked out at one point after a late evening of unfortunate aimlessness, was discovered by a fellow NESTee, and directed to a room of people playing almost immediately after stepping out of my room. You may not be so lucky, and it may take a while, so, like I said, bring a snack. 🙂 Eventually, odds are someone will find you and direct the lost lambs to the rest of the flock (...or to the slaughter, depending on your preference. 😉 ). And there, discern protocol on tickling/being tickled by others by watching those around you, asking questions where you remain uncertain, and cautiously following suit in participating.
These opinions are my own.
If anyone has anything to add to these, please do.
If anyone disagrees with any of these, please make yourself heard.
I want to make sure next years newbies have at least as good a time, or hopefully, better than I had.
I decided to start this thread as more a list of suggestions for future NESTees, be they newbies or other. This is not a criticism or praise thread, but recommendations to future participants who don’t know what to expect, or feeling out of place, are facing their own learning curve to tackle. Contributions encouraged.
If you’re thinking about attending next year, consider the following:
Start your NEST now. If you’re a lurker, or shy, quiet, reserved or whathaveyou, de-lurk immediately. Start posting. Show us what you’re about. You have nothing to lose by being known and talking to people here, unless you’re some sort of sawed-off jerk. Let’s hope you’re not. The vast majority of the people here are very kind, friendly and understanding folks. Get to know at least a handful of people online (think, kids: handful=5) very well -- people you can feel comfortable with. That’s the first place to start. I can’t emphasize it enough. This group will be crucial to your enjoyment of festivities. If you’re not a member of a group, you may feel left out. Knowing one or two people isn’t enough, as they may abscond with another clique, and you will have no plans, know no one else, and empty time and idle hands are very unfortunate things for an aspiring ‘ler to have. As the charming Bella told me, “It’s all about who you know.” The more people you know, the better.
While you may be discouraged at being left out, don’t be offended by cliques. You will need them to an extent. Cliques are naturally formed by every large group of people for the sake of communication dynamics and comfort (you can’t very well have a group of 50+ people trying to participate in the same conversation, now can you? At least, not efficiently.). NESTers (wait, is it NESTees or NESTers? Oh,well...) seem to be a fairly amorphous group, bound by a common interest, but cliques, naturally, will form. You may eventually find yourself in one, too, as you get to know people. There may be future efforts made to make things less segregated, and give some greater sense of belonging or direction to activities, or perhaps, more organized plans may evolve which would be especially useful to newbies, but if not, you should be prepared for the possibility of not knowing where to go or what to do. You’re responsible for your experience. Regardless of conditions, this is why that core group of five people is so crucial -- when in doubt, if you’ve made these friends in advance, they’ll probably be able to hook you up with some direction or place to go.
Know that people aren’t just there for tickling. It’s a social event. Try to be sociable. Even if you’re shy. Most people are multifaceted, no matter our common interest. I hope you’re multifaceted, too. It makes you more interesting. I came chiefly wanting to meet people -- to find more people like me -- enjoy the company of others, revel in the diversity of people and personalities, and of course, join in the activities related to our common interest. Some in attendance may not be interested in tickling or being tickled at all (however counterintuitive that may first seem when attending a gathering of ticklephiles). They may just really need to feel out the scene first. Not everyone is as comfortable in their own skin as you, or some may be more so. Understand and appreciate the diversity of the human condition in this regard, and respect it. Feel free to offer invitations to activities to anyone or ask to participate therein, but understand you may be turned down for any number of reasons. If you’re meeting someone for the first time and have only chatted with them briefly prior, I don’t think asking them if they want to play is untoward (it is, after all, our common interest, and they always have the choice to turn you down), but also offer them the option to just talk if they’d rather. I still don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, and it gives them another way to better know you, if they want. If they’d rather not do either -- and some may not -- you did what you could, invited politely, offered conversation as an alternative, and that’s all you can do. Unfortunate? Perhaps. But there’s no shame in being turned down.
Know that there will be some discrepancies between online personalities and how they are in real life. Some persona discrepancies are bigger than others. On one side there is misrepresentation, and on another, misinterpretation. The human condition is riddled with both, which is why communication is an art, not a science. Just do your best, roll with it, and get to know people as they are if you have the time, and hope they’ll try to get to know you as you are as well. If you are offered no time, suck it up, and move on. Don’t get hung up on trying to get to know any one person, no matter how nice they may seem. There’s still a bunch of people you likely haven’t met, most of them very cool. Try to shake off the shyness and get to know some of them. People you've missed out on this time may very well be there the following year and may be more able and ready to spend time trying to get to know and understand you and others the next go round.
Elders of the community or simply those well connected with others might pick up some slack if there are blanks in the schedule by letting others know if there are get-togethers going on in their rooms.
I think it’s not only good to know as many people as possible, but also an exceedingly bad idea to go to one of these things knowing few to none, no matter how much you may want to attend, or how much you want to get out of your shell. While I don't want to discourage anyone from going who really wants to, if you don’t know anyone well, or only one or two, I would actually recommend NOT attending unless you are of the extraordinarily lucky, very few, very open and gregarious variety. Hence, the “Start your NEST now” recommendation. But that must be your decision.
However, I’ve made a protocol for a bad planning situation:
IF you’re facing the worst-case scenario, which in my assessment would be:
1.) You have ignored my recommendation of starting your NEST now (one year in advance), and know few to none, but have decided out of personal desire or need to attend NEST anyway.
2.) You’re not especially gregarious in person, but more the quiet, reserved sort who takes a bit to get warmed up to people before conversation really starts flowing, and face the prospect of asking to tickle/be tickled by someone with the same apprehension of a schoolboy asking a girl to dance for the first time.
3.) There’s a big question mark in the schedule where there seems to be essentially nothing planned.
The DON’Ts:
1.) DON'T seclude yourself to your room. No one knows who you are, or where you are.
2.) DON'T leave the hotel. You don’t know where the Hell anyone else is either, and trust me, trying to find anyone beyond the confines of the hotel is far too troublesome.
The DOs:
1.) DO find the room of an organizer, and see if there’s anything going on. (You may have needed to visit this room to register or somesuch. Even if you missed registration, find out who the organizers are and spend at least a bit of time getting to know them -- they are very much your hosts and should be acknowledged early on, not to mention, thanked for their service. Their work is what has afforded you a place there.)
If you can’t find the organizer’s room, or there’s nothing going on there...
2.) DO wander the hotel aimlessly. All floors.
Now, I understand, the second “DO” does sound strange, perhaps even counterintuitive. Nevermind that. Trust me. Do the second “DO”. If need be, take a snack or a book to read while you walk (Who knows? It may be a while).
Why do the second “DO”? Probability dictates if anyone recognizes you from a net pic or the social, and you’ve presented yourself as at least a half-way decent human being, sooner or later, someone entering or leaving a room where there’s some impromptu tickling going on will recognize you and say, “Hey! We’re tickling people over in Room X! You wanna’ join us?”
And there you go.
I lucked out at one point after a late evening of unfortunate aimlessness, was discovered by a fellow NESTee, and directed to a room of people playing almost immediately after stepping out of my room. You may not be so lucky, and it may take a while, so, like I said, bring a snack. 🙂 Eventually, odds are someone will find you and direct the lost lambs to the rest of the flock (...or to the slaughter, depending on your preference. 😉 ). And there, discern protocol on tickling/being tickled by others by watching those around you, asking questions where you remain uncertain, and cautiously following suit in participating.
These opinions are my own.
If anyone has anything to add to these, please do.
If anyone disagrees with any of these, please make yourself heard.
I want to make sure next years newbies have at least as good a time, or hopefully, better than I had.
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. The only one that tried was the very lovely Lori, but all that happened was she lovingly punched my arm and said why aren't you ticklish? That story is in another post. The other people outside were, now remember I was tired, I barely looked and I didn't know them yet, so I may be wrong. My guess is ticklishgiggle,Bratgirl and Lisha (You're The Best) possibly in Jamie's pink wig. Jamie may have been there as well. Once I checked in, I washed my face took a deep breath and said to myself get social. I went downstairs back to the lobby and everyone was gone. So I decided to catch up on some work on the hotels computers. Jamie came down to the lobby with Bratgirl and I thought they were a couple some other guys were watching TV I think Sugar was with them as well. Like an idiot I didn't talk to anyone. Mostly because I was so angry with myself for acting like a snob and an idiot when I arrived. I could have met some of the coolest people at NEST before most people even arrived 
.
I will have to cut down
We all can't be as beautiful and perfect as you. 
) you'll quickly be enveloped in a positive blast 
