Advice with the new boyfriend

[Time_of_your]

I have a new boyfriend, we've been dating for about two months now.
He found out I'm ticklish about two weeks into the relationship and pretty much every time we see each other - he tickles me.
It's usually quick, ribs, feet, stomach, neck, etc. But sometimes it's for a long time.
He's developing a reputation in front of his family as loving to "torture" me (so says his mom).

You guys all seem very cool on this site, so I'd like to ask you for some advice:

He has this habit of pre-tickling me before he tickles me. And I'm so ticklish, I react even before he touches me.

He kind of wiggles his fingers in the air and draws closer to me. I usually giggle and pull away even before he gets me, I think that's why he always attacks me when I least suspect it.

Just wondering how you suggest I react to this 'wiggling'. If I develop a strong state of mind, I can stay put and let him get close enough to touch me.

But here is the thing...

I want to let him know soon that I like it when he tickles me.

Before I actually TELL him, I want to sort of let him know, subconsciously by the way I react to tickling, just to kind of build it up to him.

What do you suggest I do before/during/after he tickles me.

I was thinking, if he's wiggling his fingers at me, I'll put my two hands on his shoulders, smile, look straight in his eyes and maybe even kiss his cheek.

I was thinking, when he's tickling me, just let him do it, not pull away or run away.

Maybe after he tickles me, I'll kiss him.

Any other thoughts/ideas?

Jen

 

[Armpit_licker]

Why are so many ladies(normally always females) on here so afraid to tell there significant other there fetishes/kinks/turn ons? I don't get it..

Unless your underage and scared I don't see why any couple wouldn't share what turns them on......it's just a common thing you do..and tickling is such a cute innocent fetish/turn on......

I don't get it.

I've seen like 5 threads in the last 5 months asking advice on how to tell a BF they like to be tickled.

How about "I have a tickle fetish and it turns me on to be tickled, and it seems you like to tickle me a lot..do you have any fetishes also?"

It's so easy..... unless again, your very young...

 

[Tinkerhead414]

OMG, just react naturally. If you are having fun then he will see it. It doesn't have to be a big deal. If you want to kiss him, kiss him.

My ex and I played a game when we were first going out where I would tickle her, and to stop me, she would kiss me, and then after a few seconds I would continue. But it's not like we planned it, or anything. Just do whatever.

 

[Morpheus72]

How do you tell him? As I've said in other threads....you just tell him. He tickles you, you say something along the lines of "That feels awesome, keep it up".

No reason to feel concerned about it.

 

[sasaxrah]

After, just say "awww why'd you stop?" or "that was crazy fun, you should keep going." Positive reinforcement. 😀

 

[Gothika]

it sounds like to me he is into ticking to for someone to tickle that much they must be so i would not be affraid of telling him

 

[tickler4u2]

It sounds like to me that he is into tickling too. Also, I too don't understand why you are so concerned. What I would do if I were you, is turn it into a game. Point out to him that you know he likes tickling you and do something simple. Lie on a bed, put your arms over your head and say, "I bet I can take anything your can dish out". That will encourage him to tickle you even more. That's one thing you can do. Next, you could encourage him to tie you up. Trust me, 99% of men are into this. When you are tied up, just say something like "OMG - I hope you don't decide to tickle me now! I'm so vulnerable" I guarantee that he will torture you to your hearts content. You could even mention that you find it sooooo erotic to be in such a vulnerable position where he has all the control. I think you're in girl 😉

 

[Marquis De Sade]

After, just say "awww why'd you stop?" or "that was crazy fun, you should keep going." Positive reinforcement. 😀

This. And just do whatever you want and feel like doing. Why overthink it? You're obviously both enjoying yourselves.

 

[melancholy_chic]

If he really tickles you that often, did you ever think maybe he has a thing for it too? Maybe the next time he tickles you, ask him (without sounding demeaning or freaked) why he constantly does it. It's possible that you could "out" him first and then you wouldn't be so afraid of it. It's probably a good idea to let him know in one way or another that you approve. Be casual about it.

In response to armpit licker's query: I won't tell a significant other about it just in case we break up under bad circumstances. My sexual kinkiness is not something I want spread around a group of friends. (I will also say that I would never date anyone I was friends with for that reason). You may still have the same mutual friends when you separate.

 

[Armpit_licker]

If he really tickles you that often, did you ever think maybe he has a thing for it too? Maybe the next time he tickles you, ask him (without sounding demeaning or freaked) why he constantly does it. It's possible that you could "out" him first and then you wouldn't be so afraid of it. It's probably a good idea to let him know in one way or another that you approve. Be casual about it.

In response to armpit licker's query: I won't tell a significant other about it just in case we break up under bad circumstances. My sexual kinkiness is not something I want spread around a group of friends. (I will also say that I would never date anyone I was friends with for that reason). You may still have the same mutual friends when you separate.

Sorry, but I find that crazy.

You won't tell your BF about your kinks due to MAYBE breaking up and MAYBE it being on bad terms and then MAYBE him telling others you have a tickling fetish? lol

 

[CuteJill143]

HaHa. Cute 🙂 Tickling in the beginning of a relationship is always the most exciting. It was easy to tell mine. Do what I did and tell him in a text message. I felt much less awkward. His reaction was sweet. I was driving home when I told him and he texted back "yeah it was obvious and you better get back here right now so I can kiss you and tickle you" He was very happy that I told him. I have a strong trusting and understanding with him, he knows how hard it was to tell him. IT might seem hard hunny, but the advantage is that you ARE being tickled, as I was. If hes the one initiating the tickling, its MUCH easier to a certain extent. Just hint around. My guy already liked my feet and tickling so it wasn't so bad. He even comments all the time how he loved tickling me and my reactions to it from day 1. HE thought it annoyed me at first but now since I've told him, he does not hold back. HE says my giggling and squirming turns him on a lot. Sometimes life is all about taking that gamble or a risk. He obviously likes tickling you already, so what do you have to lose. NExt time you two leave each other, text him and let him know how much you enjoyed it 😉.

 

[CuteJill143]

and by the way I forgot. Its much worse to try and tell someone who doesn't tickle at all...consider yourself lucky. You don't need to try and get him to tickle you!!! Yay!

 

[melancholy_chic]

Sorry, but I find that crazy.

You won't tell your BF about your kinks due to MAYBE breaking up and MAYBE it being on bad terms and then MAYBE him telling others you have a tickling fetish? lol

Exactly. That actually happened. And I may be crazy, but I'm completely ok with that.

 

[kis123]

Sorry, but I find that crazy.

You won't tell your BF about your kinks due to MAYBE breaking up and MAYBE it being on bad terms and then MAYBE him telling others you have a tickling fetish? lol

There have been more than a few stories on this forum where member's spouses and SO's have blabbed their kink to other family and friends. It is a legitmate concern, especially for me. At my age, and coming from a very repressive family, I would be devastated if my secrets got out.

I don't turn it into a big production; I just tell him I like it. For some fellas, that's all they need to hear.....men like to please.

 

[Time_of_your]

Exactly. That actually happened. And I may be crazy, but I'm completely ok with that.

I really liked your advice melancholy_chic and don't worry about other people laughing at you because you are shy (like me) about telling your boyfriend about your fetish. You're not crazy.

Everyone comes with different shyness levels, go at your own pace and comfort level.

The stupidest thing someone can do is tell another person they need to change into someone like them.

 

[Time_of_your]

HaHa. Cute 🙂 Tickling in the beginning of a relationship is always the most exciting. It was easy to tell mine. Do what I did and tell him in a text message. I felt much less awkward. His reaction was sweet. I was driving home when I told him and he texted back "yeah it was obvious and you better get back here right now so I can kiss you and tickle you" He was very happy that I told him. I have a strong trusting and understanding with him, he knows how hard it was to tell him. IT might seem hard hunny, but the advantage is that you ARE being tickled, as I was. If hes the one initiating the tickling, its MUCH easier to a certain extent. Just hint around. My guy already liked my feet and tickling so it wasn't so bad. He even comments all the time how he loved tickling me and my reactions to it from day 1. HE thought it annoyed me at first but now since I've told him, he does not hold back. HE says my giggling and squirming turns him on a lot. Sometimes life is all about taking that gamble or a risk. He obviously likes tickling you already, so what do you have to lose. NExt time you two leave each other, text him and let him know how much you enjoyed it 😉.

GREAT IDEA!!! I just might steal it from you.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

Exactly. That actually happened. And I may be crazy, but I'm completely ok with that.

I don't think you're crazy for not wanting to seem like a freak to your friends 😛 I know how you can break up with someone and if they know a secret about you that's kinda personal that you told them, to get back at you they could tell other people, i understand how that can happen. I don't think I've ever told me girlfriends it turned me on and that it was a fetish, and i think just one of them figured it out lol..

 

[melancholy_chic]

I really liked your advice melancholy_chic and don't worry about other people laughing at you because you are shy (like me) about telling your boyfriend about your fetish. You're not crazy.

Everyone comes with different shyness levels, go at your own pace and comfort level.

The stupidest thing someone can do is tell another person they need to change into someone like them.

Thanks. And I hope everything goes well for you if or when you attempt to open up. I've also found that showing confidence in something helps to disolve any embarrassment or shyness that might arise. Sometimes assuming an aire of confidence and unabashedness (even when it might not be there) helps to win people over.

 

[Time_of_your]

Thanks. And I hope everything goes well for you if or when you attempt to open up. I've also found that showing confidence in something helps to disolve any embarrassment or shyness that might arise. Sometimes assuming an aire of confidence and unabashedness (even when it might not be there) helps to win people over.

That is a really good piece of advice - I never considered that before but it's SO true!!