Maybe it's just because I'm young, slowly growing comfortable with my desires.
Part of the answer for sure: the perennial kid in a candy store. But everything becomes old at some point. So enjoy it for what it is for you right now. Because by the 99th time you see a lousy loose hogtie or an actressfaling it in a video, you'll toss your cookies.
I disagree with those here that say you're obsessed- here's why: you're looking for that
one sppecial person (and may have her).. you want to share this with
her, and at the same time want
her to be enjoying it as well. Very commendable and rare in the TK world. I don't hear you saying that you're out to get every ticklish girl and carve notches on your bedpost. You're thinking it out and looking for the best route.
As for being young- enjoy it. Stay young. I started very young, much more so than most.. even have photos from ages 9, 10, 11, making stocks, even putting homeroom teachers in them during colonial days, and at home with neighborhood kids. I was building devices before 12, and by 15/16 doing bondage layouts for House of Milan. So by the time I was 18/20 there was no one around with my experience as Bishop used to tell me... so I moved forward and progressed it to new levels. But there's few out there into those levels.
Point being- most begin far later than I, perhaps you too, so they seem to be in more of a hurry to 'get to it'. They feel time is running out. It won't. TK and such things will always be there. Rest assured it
does wear off. Not completely, but when things & people start to repeat themselves?? It gets old. So bide your time and you'll find your niche... and the right gal.
I thought I was a freak with these kinds of feelings lol. Glad to see there's an entire community for it.
In the decades I've been at this, I've heard that said a bazillion times- so don't feel alone or out of place. It's sort of a right of passage-
everyone feels they're a freak and all alone until they connect. Nowadays there's many into it (years ago there was nobody).. and with the WWW it's far easier of course... but even then you have a world full of nitwits, egos, jerks, and such mixed in with the good folks. You have to do quite a bit of weeding.
In many ways, in the past it was easier- you had to use snailmail and use the phone. Today people hide behind keyboards and can't live up to what they preach--you never know what you're getting on the other end.
Rest assured- you'll find your way.