Celtic_Emperor
3rd Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2002
- Messages
- 9,619
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- 0
Amen. I'm glad, again, to be posting in this thread. TM and others have brought up a good point that I personally can attest to.
And that is being here, on what is considered an 'adult' site, and still be a model christian. Theres no denying that there is sexual material on this site, and theres no denying its catering to people's carnal desires, fantasies, and otherwise inhibited fetishes. Year after year this material seems more about nudity and sex than it does about tickling. It is practically pornography of a different sort now.
My point is, this media is what would drive us away from God. Not our talking about tickling amongst eachother. But even that is a temptation in and of itself. Phrases like "where are you ticklish?" and "tell me more" create temptation from what is otherwise an innocent curiousity.
Back to me. There has been several times I almost left the tickling community and I still struggle with being here on a regular basis because I feel I don't fit in. I felt I needed to leave because what I was doing was wrong. I also still believe that I am not a fetishist. I simply do not feel emotionally or psychologically the same way as I gather some or alot of you do about tickling. The definition of fetish disturbs me. In a way though, haven't I accepted it anyway? Whether or not I am one, I am dealing with people that are. It could be said that by merely being here I am sinning.
To be honest, I don't believe thats so. As was pointed out, God loves us more than the level of sin we have. His love is unconditional. Some people sadly use this as a way out of having to take any kind of responsbility for their spirituality and spiritual growth. Its like a reckless abandon. "God will take care of it for me!". Thats so spiritually irresponsible. Also, God is more concerned with whether or not we are growing closer to Him, not what we do. There are far worse things I could be doing, and I am not doing them. Even here, I put a limit on what I feel I should be watching and viewing.
Whats makes this so hard is that people are different and have different standards. I draw. Everyone knows that. Well, maybe not everyone here but a good lot of you do know that. Anyways, what I draw may or may not be someone's pornography. Am I therefore a pornographer?
I've come to the conclusion that if it truely makes me uncomfortable and my heart is telling me something isn't right about this, then I should stop. I've felt that calling to stop before. But when I sat down, and prayed on it, meditated, it became more clear to me. I cannot control how other people are going to feel about anything I draw, whether its fetish material or not. All that I know and all that matters, to me, is how I feel about it and how I will think because of it. If I allow my own creations to pervert and consume me, then surely I've gone too far. I don't feel I've crossed that line with myself. I don't have a fetish, I have an admiration. As an artist, I am just as curious as those that talk to eachtother about tickling. It is my choice however to decide what I want to make of it.
I needn't make anything of it because I'm happy where I am and I don't feel any more distant from God because of it. Being a spiritual person is hard. Its no easy task. Its like a Jedi Knight having to live up to the code he or she has sworn to. At times it can feel more like a commitment and a promise than a desire. But in times of weakness like this its important to call on the source of life Himself. And when you just give up your sins and weaknesses to Him, you'll feel much better. I know I do.
"But am I really forgiven if I continue the same sin over and over again?"
I'm only 21. I don't know the answer to that, and even the wisest of men and women couldn't answer it. What I do know, and feel in my heart though, is that God doesn't love me any less for being here. The same goes for all of you. We needn't torture ourselves in contemplation, but rather, give it up to God and let him deal with it. "Peace be with you." He doesn't say things like that for no reason. He truely wants each and every one of us to experience peace. And if there is something thats keeping us from experiencing it, we need to get rid of it or change it.
Case in point- This community (any site within it)is and always will be a source of temptation. Only, we have the choice in what we think, say, and do. Not one of us can claim we have no control over our emotions or that a "fetish" is controlling us. Many people here have proven to me that they are fully functional people and in my eyes are a positive contribution to society.
Things aren't nearly as complicated as they appear. God, faith, and religion. People make it complicated. Alot of people torture themselves over stuff like this. I used to do it all the time. "Why am I here?" "Why am I acting this way?" "Is this wrong?" "Are you angry with me Lord?" "Please forgive me!"
Its really simple though, if this site causes me to do something wrong, I have only to call out to Him and ask for forgiveness. I know each time I do I am forgiven because I am trying to follow Him. We are not perfect. God did not create us to be perfect. He doesn't call us to be perfect. He only calls us to be a part of Him. Honestly, I don't think God cares about this place or what you do here. As long as its not a mortal sin, and your faith or service to Him doesn't weaken, and you ask for forgiveness when you do do something wrong, then I don't think anything is wrong about it.
Temptation is everywhere. This site is just one facet for it. We have the choice. And by having God as our Savior and Redeemer, what do we have to fear?
Honestly, we should be the happiest creatures on the face of this earth! Amen? 😀
And that is being here, on what is considered an 'adult' site, and still be a model christian. Theres no denying that there is sexual material on this site, and theres no denying its catering to people's carnal desires, fantasies, and otherwise inhibited fetishes. Year after year this material seems more about nudity and sex than it does about tickling. It is practically pornography of a different sort now.
My point is, this media is what would drive us away from God. Not our talking about tickling amongst eachother. But even that is a temptation in and of itself. Phrases like "where are you ticklish?" and "tell me more" create temptation from what is otherwise an innocent curiousity.
Back to me. There has been several times I almost left the tickling community and I still struggle with being here on a regular basis because I feel I don't fit in. I felt I needed to leave because what I was doing was wrong. I also still believe that I am not a fetishist. I simply do not feel emotionally or psychologically the same way as I gather some or alot of you do about tickling. The definition of fetish disturbs me. In a way though, haven't I accepted it anyway? Whether or not I am one, I am dealing with people that are. It could be said that by merely being here I am sinning.
To be honest, I don't believe thats so. As was pointed out, God loves us more than the level of sin we have. His love is unconditional. Some people sadly use this as a way out of having to take any kind of responsbility for their spirituality and spiritual growth. Its like a reckless abandon. "God will take care of it for me!". Thats so spiritually irresponsible. Also, God is more concerned with whether or not we are growing closer to Him, not what we do. There are far worse things I could be doing, and I am not doing them. Even here, I put a limit on what I feel I should be watching and viewing.
Whats makes this so hard is that people are different and have different standards. I draw. Everyone knows that. Well, maybe not everyone here but a good lot of you do know that. Anyways, what I draw may or may not be someone's pornography. Am I therefore a pornographer?
I've come to the conclusion that if it truely makes me uncomfortable and my heart is telling me something isn't right about this, then I should stop. I've felt that calling to stop before. But when I sat down, and prayed on it, meditated, it became more clear to me. I cannot control how other people are going to feel about anything I draw, whether its fetish material or not. All that I know and all that matters, to me, is how I feel about it and how I will think because of it. If I allow my own creations to pervert and consume me, then surely I've gone too far. I don't feel I've crossed that line with myself. I don't have a fetish, I have an admiration. As an artist, I am just as curious as those that talk to eachtother about tickling. It is my choice however to decide what I want to make of it.
I needn't make anything of it because I'm happy where I am and I don't feel any more distant from God because of it. Being a spiritual person is hard. Its no easy task. Its like a Jedi Knight having to live up to the code he or she has sworn to. At times it can feel more like a commitment and a promise than a desire. But in times of weakness like this its important to call on the source of life Himself. And when you just give up your sins and weaknesses to Him, you'll feel much better. I know I do.
"But am I really forgiven if I continue the same sin over and over again?"
I'm only 21. I don't know the answer to that, and even the wisest of men and women couldn't answer it. What I do know, and feel in my heart though, is that God doesn't love me any less for being here. The same goes for all of you. We needn't torture ourselves in contemplation, but rather, give it up to God and let him deal with it. "Peace be with you." He doesn't say things like that for no reason. He truely wants each and every one of us to experience peace. And if there is something thats keeping us from experiencing it, we need to get rid of it or change it.
Case in point- This community (any site within it)is and always will be a source of temptation. Only, we have the choice in what we think, say, and do. Not one of us can claim we have no control over our emotions or that a "fetish" is controlling us. Many people here have proven to me that they are fully functional people and in my eyes are a positive contribution to society.
Things aren't nearly as complicated as they appear. God, faith, and religion. People make it complicated. Alot of people torture themselves over stuff like this. I used to do it all the time. "Why am I here?" "Why am I acting this way?" "Is this wrong?" "Are you angry with me Lord?" "Please forgive me!"
Its really simple though, if this site causes me to do something wrong, I have only to call out to Him and ask for forgiveness. I know each time I do I am forgiven because I am trying to follow Him. We are not perfect. God did not create us to be perfect. He doesn't call us to be perfect. He only calls us to be a part of Him. Honestly, I don't think God cares about this place or what you do here. As long as its not a mortal sin, and your faith or service to Him doesn't weaken, and you ask for forgiveness when you do do something wrong, then I don't think anything is wrong about it.
Temptation is everywhere. This site is just one facet for it. We have the choice. And by having God as our Savior and Redeemer, what do we have to fear?
Honestly, we should be the happiest creatures on the face of this earth! Amen? 😀
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