Anger and Lust (*/F)

[AlmondHotley]

...

 

[siamese dream]

First you are an excellent writer. Your idea for this story is unique and sexy, and a little scary too. You have a very vivid descriptive style that shows the worsening of her predicaments without becoming repetitive.

I think intensity is just up to personal taste really. For me I would prefer less torture that she's described as hating and more sexual teasing, like I thought the early masturbation scenes were sexier than the tickling but that really is just my preference for more erotic enjoyment in tickle scenes by the lee, and might not be what you wanted to express or how others feel either, some will likely love how torturous and dark the tickle scenes got. I liked the idea of her being made to watch her friend tickle tortured too, but wasn't as much into her parents and aunt appearing in the fantasy, although again this is just personal preference, and also your skill at writing is clearly showcased throughout, so I could easily see these scenes as just the first glimpse into the mind
of this girl and the parents, aunt, ex boyfriend and demon/entity all tying into a really fascinating backstory for this character and how she came to be so erotically and nightmarishly mentally tortured like this both in her dreams and awake. So definitely keep writing what you most enjoy because you have the ability to please anyone's tastes with a detailed story I think, but everyone will be different in how intense and dark they like things, so write what appeals to you the most and what themes you want to explore, fantastic job.

 

[AlmondHotley]

First you are an excellent writer. Your idea for this story is unique and sexy, and a little scary too. You have a very vivid descriptive style that shows the worsening of her predicaments without becoming repetitive.

I think intensity is just up to personal taste really. For me I would prefer less torture that she's described as hating and more sexual teasing, like I thought the early masturbation scenes were sexier than the tickling but that really is just my preference for more erotic enjoyment in tickle scenes by the lee, and might not be what you wanted to express or how others feel either, some will likely love how torturous and dark the tickle scenes got. I liked the idea of her being made to watch her friend tickle tortured too, but wasn't as much into her parents and aunt appearing in the fantasy, although again this is just personal preference, and also your skill at writing is clearly showcased throughout, so I could easily see these scenes as just the first glimpse into the mind
of this girl and the parents, aunt, ex boyfriend and demon/entity all tying into a really fascinating backstory for this character and how she came to be so erotically and nightmarishly mentally tortured like this both in her dreams and awake. So definitely keep writing what you most enjoy because you have the ability to please anyone's tastes with a detailed story I think, but everyone will be different in how intense and dark they like things, so write what appeals to you the most and what themes you want to explore, fantastic job.

That was far more detailed a response than I was expecting, so thank you for that Siamese

I know what you mean about the brief scene of Katelyn's friend suffering at the hands of her parents and her friend's aunt, that was never gonna be for everybody. And that was the point too, at least it was my intended point - that the paranormal figure tormenting her would wish for her to experience both intense physical and psychological pain. The physical stuff was simple enough, this is a tickling forum after all (and obviously there's the insatiable arousal) but the psychological I find very tough to convey. Very easy to imagine but difficult to actually put into words people can read.

Basically it showed to Katelyn the vision of her best friend suffering a very similar fate to her own but at the hands of her parents, who were seriously getting off on inflicting that torture. I figured this would be a pretty rough thing to have to witness, in the future though it would go rather a lot further. When you consider that this figure which torments her so is (I guess) what we would recognise as a demon, it's actually pretty tame.

I fully intend to continue writing what appeals to me and to try and start planning what I would like to happen beforehand rather than just seeing what happens as I'm writing it all. Thanks again for your appraisal it is genuinely appreciated

 

[siamese dream]

I know what you mean about the brief scene of Katelyn's friend suffering at the hands of her parents and her friend's aunt, that was never gonna be for everybody. And that was the point too, at least it was my intended point - that the paranormal figure tormenting her would wish for her to experience both intense physical and psychological pain. The physical stuff was simple enough, this is a tickling forum after all (and obviously there's the insatiable arousal) but the psychological I find very tough to convey. Very easy to imagine but difficult to actually put into words people can read.

You did a great job of conveying the psychological elements, most definitely. One thing that I noticed as I read through it the first time was that all your tickling scenes managed to be unique as the story progressed, ramped up the desperation and fear with each new torment inflicted on her, AND you conveyed it without having to resort to writing lines and lines of laughter sounds and whatnot... "hahaha hahahaHAHAHA." every other line, like that. You stayed in her head instead of trying to convey an external scene and getting repetitive with stuff like that to show the Lee's reaction. This really isn't easy to do at all!! It's much less work to try to write out the sounds a hysterical lee would make phoenetically than to *describe* their hysteria and reactions to the reader without using this device. That's impressive and made it clear right away you were a talented and inventive writer.

Basically it showed to Katelyn the vision of her best friend suffering a very similar fate to her own but at the hands of her parents, who were seriously getting off on inflicting that torture. I figured this would be a pretty rough thing to have to witness, in the future though it would go rather a lot further. When you consider that this figure which torments her so is (I guess) what we would recognise as a demon, it's actually pretty tame.

I fully intend to continue writing what appeals to me and to try and start planning what I would like to happen beforehand rather than just seeing what happens as I'm writing it all. Thanks again for your appraisal it is genuinely appreciated

I can see this really getting absolutely *terrifying*then!! Look forward to seeing more from you.

 

[hawkin]

I loved this story, gritty and dark is my thing.

 

[mcgaming515]

Great story man