Anime picture by Kimiko

[LonelyKimiko]

Heya all!

Ok, I know this is by no means that good, but this is my first proper completely original picture, so I want to hear suggestions and critisism. 🙂 . Tell me where I've gone wrong and what I need to do next time... Thankies!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

I'm too tired right now to put in the ammount of time a proper critique would need, especially for a first picture....

I could half-ass it, if you don't mind....but if I do that, it may just seem like I'm complaining and not explaining myself. And I always explain myself.

Its your choice, since you want the critiques.

Now or later? 🙂

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Hows about a basic one now to tell me where I screwed up, and a proper one later to give me some ideas what to improve next time? ^^ .

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

I'd rather just do it all at one time, if thats allright. The way I critique, its easier when I can point something out, but then immediately, in the next sentence or whatever explain what you did right or tried to do right.

It would actually be alot easier if I could use my tablet to take your picture and circle the areas that need work, so as to avoid verbal confusion. It's better if you can see what I mean, rather than me telling you. It would avoid the need for a filled out post also, since my "notes" would be on the picture.

The only reason I haven't done this type of critique to this level anywhere, is because people can be very touchy about their art being manipulated, drawn over, or whatever. And knowing how some people are here, if I do that to you, they're going to want to do it to me later when I share something, whether I agreed to it or not. And that could cause a whole new level of problems.

In retrospect, it would make critiquing a hell of alot faster and easier and less typing and all for everyone and less confusion would abound. But you would be running the risk that folks won't respect the agreement and will use this to try and really hurt people.

One thing is telling people what needs work, but another is actually showing them. Its a fine line between true help and plain insulting someone, and even if you are well-intentioned, its almost always never 50/50 that the critiquer will get a favorable reaction from either the artist or the others.

Obviously I have entertained this thought long enough.

I'll just wait until tomorrow, I think.

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Hey, go ahead and fiddle about with it 🙂 . I'm only gonna improve if I know what to do, so who cares if bad things get pointed out 🙂 .

 

[Low_Roads]

This is an awfully cute character, Kimiko, very well posed! The shoulders are well set in a slightly cocky attitude; the hair falls nicely and the sheen is quite effective; the eyes display a rather intense, predatory interest (as though she's scoping out something she likes), a mood also ably reflected in her tight little half-smile. Good color choices, not overdone, well set against the deepening blue of the background. The only thing I see that might require work is her hand, which shows little suggestion of wrist or palm. It would be great fun to see this girl in a beach setting, interacting with other distinctive characters! I hope you plan to display her in all sorts of different situations and environments!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Hey, go ahead and fiddle about with it 🙂 . I'm only gonna improve if I know what to do, so who cares if bad things get pointed out 🙂 .

*hardy laugh* Is that a trick question? Who cares?! 😀 LOL

My dear girl, you know exactly who would care because you've seen these types of things ecalate before. 😀

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Thanks LBH 😀 . I know what you mean about the hand, not so good at extremities yet, hence cutting her off at the legs 😛 .

Vlad, what I meant was feel free to write and draw over it. I'm not going to be upset if you tell me things I've done wrong, cause thats how I'm going to improve ^^ . Be merciless! 😛 .

 

[blackmagicjack1]

I have to say for your first try that's pretty damn good. Besides the hands, my only thought is the clothing. I'm not sure how to say, but they seem to lack definition, the bottoms more than the top. But really very nice, and you can only get better.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Vlad, what I meant was feel free to write and draw over it. I'm not going to be upset if you tell me things I've done wrong, cause thats how I'm going to improve ^^ . Be merciless! 😛 .

I know what you meant. You made that quite clear. But I don't think you understand what I mean and I am making it quite clear. It has nothing to do with you or me or how well this works for you and me, and I think you know that. Just be forewarned if things beyond our control happen.

Anyways....lets do this thing.

1.)First, she has no eyebrows. Unless you intended for them to be hidden behind her bangs, they should be there. I do not want to assume what type of anime style you're going for, but there are two ways I think of that you can use to appeal to hidden eyebrows. You can either draw the portions of them that should be visible, or you can make their bangs "transparent" in a way. And what I mean by that is that you draw the eyebrowed over the hair.

While the first option is more realistic, the second option has the potential to have more of an appeal. If this character were to have thicker eyebrows (I'm not suggesting she should, I'm just saying if) you wouldn't want to hide them behind the bangs because they enchance her personality or mannerisms and expressions.

With this picture, its hard to tell whats going on with the eyebrows, if anything, because they are non existant there.

Eyebrows on a woman are just as important in conveying softness and personality as the way the eyes are drawn. Keep this in mind for the future. Other than that, its no big deal right now. Moving on to eyes...

2.) Her eyes don't have the appeal they could if you had drawn them with eyelids. Drawing eyelids makes the eyes appear more 3-D, whereas without them they appear more flat and 2-D.

You did a good job with contouring the eyes and the iris themselves, though.


3.) The hair. Don't worry, most people have trouble with hair. ^^

The lines conform too closely to one another, making the way her hair is partitioned and parted seem clumped together and restricted to a narrow flow from the base of the crown of her head downward.

In future drawings, I suggest rough drafting the flow of the hair more carefully. In anime, a woman's hair is very important, and a little more forethought into the direction of the lines before you draw them would help you.

The bangs look good with this hair style. 🙂

Considering this is your first attempt, this is not such a concern.


4.) Like the eyebrows, I'm not seeing any ears. Perhaps you forgot to draw them, or perhaps it was your intention to hide them behind her hair. That happens alot with characters, and it's fine.

However, because we cannot see them, it makes it looks like they are too far back, assuming they are there. This creates anatomy issues. This is easy to correct however.


5.) The line of her cleavage for her right breast creates anatomy issues with her underarm. Because the line of that breast goes out so long, it makes her look as though she has no armpit on her right arm, making that whole section look flat and 2-D.

I can just draw samples later. 🙂

This can be a hard thing to draw, even for advanced artists, so you did as well as could be expected. Her breasts seem pointed at us, from a frontal view, dispite the fact she's almost in a 3/4ths postition with her body. The reason this happened is because of how you drew the cleavage. It is easy to correct though.


6.) Her hand could be a bit larger to create more balance, and more detail could be put into her fingers. Like her hair, pay more mind to where the fingers are going to be placed, and in what position they will be in in the final product.


7.) Her bellybutton is just a line and it doesn't add to her femininity. You could decrease the width next time and twist the line to form a sort of 6, and that should help for now.


8.) Her left leg looks twisted. This has happened because you have no established point where the knee begins and the calves start. For starters, you could contour her legs more, and like the hair and hands, plan where the thighs end, the knee begins, etc. Otherwise, its just going to look like one long mass bent in an awkward direction.

This is not a problem with her right leg, and her arms are pretty well done, in comparison. 🙂


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Overall, despite the mistakes you have made, and this being your first picture and all, you did a fairly decent job. One might criticize the background, but in my opinion its fine the way it is. Because it makes it look like it's sundown and the yellow makes it look like theres a bonfire on the beach, and its reflecting in the water, and she's dancing seductively around the fire or something.

It really sets the mood and makes one use their imagination. 🙂

If theres one more good thing I can leave you with, its that this doesn't look like your first attempt. It looks more like your second or third. You do have a good sense for what seems right, but you haven't yet developed the ability to apply it (which is fine because you will).

You're on your way, and thats great. 🙂

 

[AphxA1]

I'll just say thats its a cool picture since my drawings end up looking like the character has a limp face. 😀

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Thanks Vlad ^^ . I'm gonna give a go at another picture tonight and see what I can come up with. I've been doing some studies with eyes at the minute, basically continuing to draw them till I get it right, so I'll post them up.

By the way, I didnt mean this is my first picture, its about my 3rd or 4th, but this is the first one I've done that was completely original, i.e. not copied from another picture. I think my best one so far is this one (original also included) :

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

You're welcome. Now lets see if people are going to bitch about it, lets hope not. Cross your fingers and your toes, don't forget to blow your nose! LOL! ^______^

And that is a pretty good remake in your last post there. Its mainly a composition issue, but that will be naturally corrected over time with experience and you may not even notice it.

 

[LonelyKimiko]

^^ hope all goes smoothly.

To be honest I'd like to hear from some other artists too, like Ness or Anime 316 for example. Any advice is good really!

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Oh, of course! And I hope they do have something to say. To you. I should not be any of their concern, nor should anything I've said.

Well with LBH's critique, and now mine, I think it would be nice to see others fill in whats left of the blanks. ^^

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Oki, here is the latest bit. I've been trying to draw eyes, and this is a new one I've managed to do. Let me know what ya think ^^ .

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

You're not going to believe this, but thats actually one of the best anime eyes I've seen anyone draw on this site. Its uplifted at the corners, giving a fierce, coy, or strong look. You either already understand how the shape of the eyes can convey these sorts of things, it was pure luck, or you studied a picture (or all three). Either way, its really good.

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Thank you ^^ . I've studied a lot of pictures to try and get eyes right. I'm trying a different way of doing them now, in my new pic I'll be posting soon 🙂 .

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Yeah, there are so many different variations that can really show the personality of the character the eyes belong to, and it's just as simple as changing the contour of the eyelids. I've noticed that tinkering with the iris, and making it smaller or bigger can have a huge effect.

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Well the first pic here is the kind of Eye I've drawn there, with the full eye shape...
and the second one is the type I'm trying for now, with just the top lid and the a half circle...

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Asuka, baby! 😀

Yeah, it would be better to try different things.

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Well my next pic is turning out to look better than the one posted on this thread I think ^^ .

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Excellent!" *taps fingertips together*

 

[a1532b]

Awesome! Yet another reason why we should all bow down and worshop kimiko. Great work.

 

[LonelyKimiko]

Hehe thanks 😛 . But save the worship for someone who deserves it 🙂 .