are girls mostly attracted to guys with a muscular body

[me4o]

I think people who choose their partner based on looks are silly. But that's not what the question is about anyway. I myself am a rather big guy( 6'5" 260-280 lbs) and although not everything is muscle, I'm qiute powerful and strong 😀 Enough with that 😀 So anyway, some girls like me,some don't, if we are talking just about appearance. The same with them- I ,for example, have a thing for red haired and green-eyed girls, but none of my girlfriends has actually looked like that. What I am trying to say is that you shouldn't be concerned by the way you look if you're comfortable in your skin. If someone likes you or not just because of that, it's not good. People should like you the way you are 🙂

 

[tickmankyle1]

The problem isn't you; the problem is the bar scene.

The bar scene is full of people who are going out cruising for mates. It's essentially a meat market.

Don't bother with it. 95% of the people you could wind up with in the bar scene are people you'll regret winding up with (editor's note: this statistic is completely made up).

Do what you love to do. Do it well. You'll meet other people who also love it, and from those people you'll meet someone worth keeping. The reasons? A) You'll already have something in common. B) Competence breeds confidence - if you're doing something you love and do well, it will show. And C) the same things girls find attractive, you'll find attractive. And you'll meet girls with those attributes doing the things that you love, for the same reasons I gave above.

If you find you're not fitting in with people, find new people. There are people out there who can't wait to get to know somebody just like you.

I'm about 5'10 and 130 pounds, clumsy, scrawny, and pretty goofy looking (but I wear it with style!). I was shy and awkward in high school and never felt comfortable in the frat/bar scene. Then I found raving and I've never looked back. People I love who also love me, and I couldn't be happier.

Just find your home. The rest will fall into place.

I guess that is why i fell in love with the dead scene and deadheads. Cause they don't care where you come from, what you look like, the color of your skin or color of your hair. You go to a parking lot and see a guy or girl walking around naked and it is like kool different strokes for different folks. No one really would go up to them at a show parking lot and go off on them for being naked. I just liked it cause I felt like I fit in with others who look at all of use as humans not women or men or blacks or whites or yellow but as one race. For example I went to a rush show in chicago this past summer and while in the parking area I saw a guy by a van with a dead shirt on and asked him what shows he had went to. In the end we talked to each other and his friends and sister for 4 hours before the rush show. To me that is what life is about meeting people who don't care what jeans you have, or phone you have, or type of shoes. Thanks God for dead heads the good ones that is not everyone is nice.

 

[GQguy]

Ummmm. If you're not fit dude...get into the gym. Muscles almost always help. The only time it doesn't is if you're those weird steroid types....and that would only apply to 0.0000001% of the population. I've never heard a woman say " Johnny has put on 15lbs of muscle and it is a complete turn off!" or "I wish johnny didn't have those ripped abs and big biceps" So the answer is yes...girls are mostly attracted to guys with a muscular body. I know alot of the girls here are speaking from their own personal taste...god bless them....but they are one woman. I've dated tons of women and been blown off by tons...Being more buff certainly helps!

Consolation: As some have mentioned before the three C's are very important and if you have high levels of all three C's will definitely beat out the muscular guy. I say why choose. Be the buff guy and have all three C's. Then you'll be able to pick the girl you want as opposed to worrying whether she is attracted to you or not. This forum in no way represents real life....but in the real world good men are very hard to find. Be one of those good few and you'll never be lonely.

I like ticklish 9's response too...especially the part about doing something well....that is VERY attractive.

In the end you can't just focus on one aspect of attraction (physical) in this case...bt it is good to step up your game in aspects that are deficient. I say always improve yourself and never settle. Incidentaly you'll never have to settle when it comes to your mate.

GQ

 

[maniactickler]

I hope women arent just attracted to muscular guys or im freakin screwed!

 

[Mephistopheles]

Ummmm. If you're not fit dude...get into the gym. Muscles almost always help. The only time it doesn't is if you're those weird steroid types....and that would only apply to 0.0000001% of the population. I've never heard a woman say " Johnny has put on 15lbs of muscle and it is a complete turn off!" or "I wish johnny didn't have those ripped abs and big biceps" So the answer is yes...girls are mostly attracted to guys with a muscular body. I know alot of the girls here are speaking from their own personal taste...god bless them....but they are one woman. I've dated tons of women and been blown off by tons...Being more buff certainly helps!

Yes, but the thing is that alot of the more intelligent women I meet kinda see the trade off that's going on, the time you spend in the gym is time not spent learning shit, so if you're really buff you get the "just another dumb weight-pusher"-stamp and you've lost to the less buff man who seems more sophisticated.

 

[Bohemianne]

the time you spend in the gym is time not spent learning shit,

Indeed, I say again... the FAT brain comes first.

 

[GQguy]

Yes, but the thing is that alot of the more intelligent women I meet kinda see the trade off that's going on, the time you spend in the gym is time not spent learning shit, so if you're really buff you get the "just another dumb weight-pusher"-stamp and you've lost to the less buff man who seems more sophisticated.

I'll take that even further. A smart girl won't put a buff guy into the "dumb weight pusher" category till she talks to him. She'll watch him and how he interacts before she makes that call. The not so buff guy simply won't be noticed as much to even be judged even if he were a genius(unless it were on display which is rarer....think musician, politician, leader). All things being equal most women would take the buff MIT twin over the thin/not in shape/not buff MIT twin.(a small minority might choose the thin twin because their afraid of someone else might steal the better looking twin if she had him.(rare))

A corvette with a dodge neon engine will still turn heads till they hear the engine roar. A taurus might have a corvette engine....but no one is looking....until they test drive. Test drives take time and of course there has to be a reason to test drive in the first place. Attraction is quick and we disqualify potentials fast to keep the process efficient...dating takes a while and alot of resources. Imagine taking out every girl you were marginally physically attracted to in hopes that you might have chemistry? The wasted resources! The number of women! Thats how women work it.

It's in every guys best interest to be in the best shape they can be in if they are looking for a woman. This way more women are apt to notice you and peak their interest see what you're REALLY made of. As a guy you'll attract women all across the spectrum from homely to gorgeous, dumb to smart and everything in between and YOU get to pick what you want instead of the other way around.

Be your best self. Will women like a buffer you? Yes! Will women like a more educated you! Will women like a more socially savvy you? Yes! Which will have the biggest impact...depends on the girl. I say why not improve on all fronts?!

GQ

GQ

 

[kis123]

I'll take that even further. A smart girl won't put a buff guy into the "dumb weight pusher" category till she talks to him. She'll watch him and how he interacts before she makes that call. The not so buff guy simply won't be noticed as much to even be judged even if he were a genius(unless it were on display which is rarer....think musician, politician, leader). All things being equal most women would take the buff MIT twin over the thin/not in shape/not buff MIT twin.(a small minority might choose the thin twin because their afraid of someone else might steal the better looking twin if she had him.(rare))

A corvette with a dodge neon engine will still turn heads till they hear the engine roar. A taurus might have a corvette engine....but no one is looking....until they test drive. Test drives take time and of course there has to be a reason to test drive in the first place. Attraction is quick and we disqualify potentials fast to keep the process efficient...dating takes a while and alot of resources. Imagine taking out every girl you were marginally physically attracted to in hopes that you might have chemistry? The wasted resources! The number of women! Thats how women work it.

It's in every guys best interest to be in the best shape they can be in if they are looking for a woman. This way more women are apt to notice you and peak their interest see what you're REALLY made of. As a guy you'll attract women all across the spectrum from homely to gorgeous, dumb to smart and everything in between and YOU get to pick what you want instead of the other way around.

Be your best self. Will women like a buffer you? Yes! Will women like a more educated you! Will women like a more socially savvy you? Yes! Which will have the biggest impact...depends on the girl. I say why not improve on all fronts?!

GQ

GQ

You're painting women with an awfully broad brush and your conclusions aren't necessarily true. Do I find a muscular body attractive? Sure, nice to look at.....no doubt. Has one been in my bed yet? No and there's a reason for that. If a man looks like he can have any woman he wants, he tends to have any woman he wants. I'd rather have the man who wants me and if he isn't so pretty or buffed that's fine with me too.

Besides, I'm more interested in what's between his ears because that's what gets me to the bedroom, not his body. At my age, men should know what to do once they get there so looks are not the forefront in relationships. Come to think of it, they never really were.

 

[Mephistopheles]

I'll take that even further. A smart girl won't put a buff guy into the "dumb weight pusher" category till she talks to him. She'll watch him and how he interacts before she makes that call. The not so buff guy simply won't be noticed as much to even be judged even if he were a genius(unless it were on display which is rarer....think musician, politician, leader). All things being equal most women would take the buff MIT twin over the thin/not in shape/not buff MIT twin.(a small minority might choose the thin twin because their afraid of someone else might steal the better looking twin if she had him.(rare))

Be your best self. Will women like a buffer you? Yes! Will women like a more educated you! Will women like a more socially savvy you? Yes! Which will have the biggest impact...depends on the girl. I say why not improve on all fronts?!

GQ

GQ

You assume that stereotypes do not impact women's perception of men. They do. And since alot of the buff types are brainless guidos or college fratboys who spend more time in the gym than they do elsewhere, the stereotype puts you at a disadvantage if you're bodybuilder-shaped.

And ofcourse you also need the body type for actual muscle. If you've got a skinny or plump bodytype, good luck, but without the genes you'll never make it. As for me, I could be a professional bodybuilder but I've chosen to devote my life to science so seeing the trade-off I'll never get past being just athleticly build. And that has worked fine for me so far.

Since you recognize the fact that having a chat is very important in the business of love, you do need to be able to be a good conversationalist and I just don't see that happening when spending alot of time in the gym. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be in shape, but building excess amounts of muscle just for the sake of building muscle mass isn't going to do you much good.

 

[kis123]

You assume that stereotypes do not impact women's perception of men. They do. And since alot of the buff types are brainless guidos or college fratboys who spend more time in the gym than they do elsewhere, the stereotype puts you at a disadvantage if you're bodybuilder-shaped.

And ofcourse you also need the body type for actual muscle. If you've got a skinny or plump bodytype, good luck, but without the genes you'll never make it. As for me, I could be a professional bodybuilder but I've chosen to devote my life to science so seeing the trade-off I'll never get past being just athleticly build. And that has worked fine for me so far.

Since you recognize the fact that having a chat is very important in the business of love, you do need to be able to be a good conversationalist and I just don't see that happening when spending alot of time in the gym. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be in shape, but building excess amounts of muscle just for the sake of building muscle mass isn't going to do you much good.

This^

I won't be foolish to say that one shouldn't care about his/her appearance and overall health. By all means, go to the gym and watch what you eat--it can only improve your overall quality of life. If money weren't an issue I'd be back at the gym myself. But I'd go to the YMCA, not these fitness clubs that are little more than meat markets. When I was a "Y" member, everyone was there to exercise, encourage those of us who were struggling, and just to kick back and socialize after a rough workday. Man I miss the "Y".....but I digress.....

When it comes to looks I've dated some interesting gentlemen; only two of them had solid mass bodies. The others were of average, slim, and even super husky build. All had one thing in common; a pleasant face and great conversation. If you can't stimulate my brain, you won't be stimulating anything else.

 

[GQguy]

You assume that stereotypes do not impact women's perception of men. They do. And since alot of the buff types are brainless guidos or college fratboys who spend more time in the gym than they do elsewhere, the stereotype puts you at a disadvantage if you're bodybuilder-shaped.

And ofcourse you also need the body type for actual muscle. If you've got a skinny or plump bodytype, good luck, but without the genes you'll never make it. As for me, I could be a professional bodybuilder but I've chosen to devote my life to science so seeing the trade-off I'll never get past being just athleticly build. And that has worked fine for me so far.

Since you recognize the fact that having a chat is very important in the business of love, you do need to be able to be a good conversationalist and I just don't see that happening when spending alot of time in the gym. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be in shape, but building excess amounts of muscle just for the sake of building muscle mass isn't going to do you much good.

Oops! Just reread the initial post and noticed that the thread was addressed to the ladies. Oh well! I digress

Alot of buff guys tend to be the brainless guido types? That's a gross overgeneralization. I never said anything about being a guido or being in a fraternity or even a body builder. I'm simply stressing that all things being equal MOST(not all) women would go for the buff guy. I'm not comparinng dumb buff guy vs smart skinny guy...No.... I'm comparing smart buff guy vs smart skinny guy. The OP asked "are girls mostly attracted to guys with muscular bodies" Not brains over brawn, loner vs frat boy or guido vs non guido. Who said excess muscle? Hell what exactly is excess muscle? I'm saying that having the appearance that makes it readily apparant that one works out is great for attracting women. Physical, intellectual, emotional attraction is needed between two people. The OP sounds like he's got the intellectual and emotional down...the physical isn't where he'd like it.

Being buff gives a guy a greater chance to talk to the girl. He'll get noticed more. He'll stand out in a crowd. All a guy needs is a chance to talk to the girl...the hard part is getting that shot! It's very hard for her to know that she's going to be intellectually and emotionally attracted without first being physically attracted.


Kis said it best. "If a man looks like he can have any woman he wants, he tends to have any woman he wants". That's the realm I suggest the OP exist in. This way he picks the woman that is best for him....as opposed to settling.

Even Kis, all things being equal as in both guys are both equally able to make you feel special...You wouldn't pick the more buff guy over the skinny one?

Guys reading this....ask a guy that never went to the gym and suddenly started if his love life has improved. An overwhelming majority would say "it has"....a vast minority will say "no change" and an infantesimally small amount will say it's "hurt" them. I've been the skinnny guy...and i've been the ripped guy...guess within which period I dated the most? Of course I was my most fit as I earned my electrical engineering degree from arizona state.

Brain and brawn are not mutually exclusive. An hour in the gym doesn't mean one less hour studying or reading. It usually means one less hour on the TMF(net). Or one less hour playing video games. One less hour of sleep.


So what is the best advice for our friend here? Stay non fit? Or....stop hanging out on the TMF so much, get into the gym with that time and see what happens? Which one will result in an improvement of his love life?

GQ

 

[ndj101982]

Oops! Just reread the initial post and noticed that the thread was addressed to the ladies. Oh well! I digress

Alot of buff guys tend to be the brainless guido types? That's a gross overgeneralization. I never said anything about being a guido or being in a fraternity or even a body builder. I'm simply stressing that all things being equal MOST(not all) women would go for the buff guy. I'm not comparinng dumb buff guy vs smart skinny guy...No.... I'm comparing smart buff guy vs smart skinny guy. The OP asked "are girls mostly attracted to guys with muscular bodies" Not brains over brawn, loner vs frat boy or guido vs non guido. Who said excess muscle? Hell what exactly is excess muscle? I'm saying that having the appearance that makes it readily apparant that one works out is great for attracting women. Physical, intellectual, emotional attraction is needed between two people. The OP sounds like he's got the intellectual and emotional down...the physical isn't where he'd like it.

Being buff gives a guy a greater chance to talk to the girl. He'll get noticed more. He'll stand out in a crowd. All a guy needs is a chance to talk to the girl...the hard part is getting that shot! It's very hard for her to know that she's going to be intellectually and emotionally attracted without first being physically attracted.


Kis said it best. "If a man looks like he can have any woman he wants, he tends to have any woman he wants". That's the realm I suggest the OP exist in. This way he picks the woman that is best for him....as opposed to settling.

Even Kis, all things being equal as in both guys are both equally able to make you feel special...You wouldn't pick the more buff guy over the skinny one?

Guys reading this....ask a guy that never went to the gym and suddenly started if his love life has improved. An overwhelming majority would say "it has"....a vast minority will say "no change" and an infantesimally small amount will say it's "hurt" them. I've been the skinnny guy...and i've been the ripped guy...guess within which period I dated the most? Of course I was my most fit as I earned my electrical engineering degree from arizona state.

Brain and brawn are not mutually exclusive. An hour in the gym doesn't mean one less hour studying or reading. It usually means one less hour on the TMF(net). Or one less hour playing video games. One less hour of sleep.


So what is the best advice for our friend here? Stay non fit? Or....stop hanging out on the TMF so much, get into the gym with that time and see what happens? Which one will result in an improvement of his love life?

GQ

One thing I will admit too is that when I used to work out I had wayyyyyyy more sex with my girlfriend of the time. The adrenaline gets going, feel better about yourself, and you just have more energy.

 

[kis123]

Kis said it best. "If a man looks like he can have any woman he wants, he tends to have any woman he wants". That's the realm I suggest the OP exist in. This way he picks the woman that is best for him....as opposed to settling.

If a man settles, he chooses to do that. Men are the hunters and they choose who they find attractive and they generally are the ones who approach so if a man is "settling" it's because he chooses to do that.

I want the man who's confident but not arrogant; someone who can hold intelligent and stimulating conversation and shows genuine interest in me is the one who will win my heart and a place on the right side of my bed. That can come packaged in almost any body type.

Even Kis, all things being equal as in both guys are both equally able to make you feel special...You wouldn't pick the more buff guy over the skinny one?

Again, you're thinking and assuming for me again.

I stated earlier that a "buff" body is nice to look at but after nearly 48 years of living, I have yet to have one in my bed. I tend to avoid them because they're always looking for the latest, greatest, hottest thing and they don't tend to stick and stay when they can have any woman they want. I want a man who wants to spend the quality time with me......not me, Sally, Suzy, and whoever else he can share his buff body with. I can't make a man stay with me if he wants to go but I can control my choices and pick someone who I have a good chance at a long-term relationship with by avoiding the drama.

Guys reading this....ask a guy that never went to the gym and suddenly started if his love life has improved. An overwhelming majority would say "it has"....a vast minority will say "no change" and an infantesimally small amount will say it's "hurt" them. I've been the skinnny guy...and i've been the ripped guy...guess within which period I dated the most? Of course I was my most fit as I earned my electrical engineering degree from arizona state.

Whatever makes you think that only guys who go to the gym get sex? What makes you think that women are only attracted to ripped men? Several women on this forum have stated they prefer the slimmer guys; are they lying?

It's good that you have the smarts and the body but don't assume that every man does. I've talked to some very attractive but vapid and empty men. I've talked to men who appear less physically attractive but we've had great conversation and great times together. The gym is nice, but it's not a requirement to get my attention. Besides, most gyms are no more than meat markets anyway; I'd rather talk to a man who goes to the YMCA than Ballys for a multitude of reasons.

So what is the best advice for our friend here? Stay non fit? Or....stop hanging out on the TMF so much, get into the gym with that time and see what happens? Which one will result in an improvement of his love life?

GQ

Honestly it sounds like you're selling your preferences on everyone else. If you like the "fit" and "ripped" look, that's great for you. There are women who's preferences astound me on a daily basis. I've seen some of the hottest women on the arms of some less than attractive men. I've seen 400 lb guys with 100 lb women and vice versa. I've seen a lot that you could never explain as far as male/female matchups are concerned. Live a little longer and look around along the way and you'll see exactly what I mean.

Eventually looks fade; learn to develop other things to attract women other than just looks. Because in some women like myself, focus merely on looks is a turn off.

 

[ticklemepls]

I think it's a fair assumption that most women like men with muscle (in a healthy dose of it anyways) .... though not all women are the same. Some of us prefer to look more into the actual person and their personality than anything. I honestly think people in general are too shallow and miss out on a lot in life basing things on how people look.... I'm not perfect, but I try not to judge people before I know them....

IDK- I guess growing up it got burned into my brain theres more to people than how they look... looks aren't everything- hell they aren't anything if the person is a complete jerk or an idiot.... I'd rather have someone who I connect with on various levels than just someone who is 'hot' or 'cute' or whatever... just my 2 cents I guess

 

[me4o]

You're painting women with an awfully broad brush and your conclusions aren't necessarily true. Do I find a muscular body attractive? Sure, nice to look at.....no doubt. Has one been in my bed yet? No and there's a reason for that. If a man looks like he can have any woman he wants, he tends to have any woman he wants. I'd rather have the man who wants me and if he isn't so pretty or buffed that's fine with me too.

Besides, I'm more interested in what's between his ears because that's what gets me to the bedroom, not his body. At my age, men should know what to do once they get there so looks are not the forefront in relationships. Come to think of it, they never really were.

I don't know how old you are, nor am I going to ask. But this is really wise, and I have to say I am sorry I don't meet people with your views more often 🙂

 

[GQguy]

If a man settles, he chooses to do that. Men are the hunters and they choose who they find attractive and they generally are the ones who approach so if a man is "settling" it's because he chooses to do that.

I want the man who's confident but not arrogant; someone who can hold intelligent and stimulating conversation and shows genuine interest in me is the one who will win my heart and a place on the right side of my bed. That can come packaged in almost any body type.



Again, you're thinking and assuming for me again.

I stated earlier that a "buff" body is nice to look at but after nearly 48 years of living, I have yet to have one in my bed. I tend to avoid them because they're always looking for the latest, greatest, hottest thing and they don't tend to stick and stay when they can have any woman they want. I want a man who wants to spend the quality time with me......not me, Sally, Suzy, and whoever else he can share his buff body with. I can't make a man stay with me if he wants to go but I can control my choices and pick someone who I have a good chance at a long-term relationship with by avoiding the drama.



Whatever makes you think that only guys who go to the gym get sex? What makes you think that women are only attracted to ripped men? Several women on this forum have stated they prefer the slimmer guys; are they lying?

It's good that you have the smarts and the body but don't assume that every man does. I've talked to some very attractive but vapid and empty men. I've talked to men who appear less physically attractive but we've had great conversation and great times together. The gym is nice, but it's not a requirement to get my attention. Besides, most gyms are no more than meat markets anyway; I'd rather talk to a man who goes to the YMCA than Ballys for a multitude of reasons.



Honestly it sounds like you're selling your preferences on everyone else. If you like the "fit" and "ripped" look, that's great for you. There are women who's preferences astound me on a daily basis. I've seen some of the hottest women on the arms of some less than attractive men. I've seen 400 lb guys with 100 lb women and vice versa. I've seen a lot that you could never explain as far as male/female matchups are concerned. Live a little longer and look around along the way and you'll see exactly what I mean.

Eventually looks fade; learn to develop other things to attract women other than just looks. Because in some women like myself, focus merely on looks is a turn off.

Not too sure how to multiquote a thread so bear with me!

When I said "settle" I mean that when he settles on his potential he also settles on his mate. To have your pick one must be on top of his game on all levels. In this thread we're simply focusing on the physical. If he asked "are women more attracted to educated men" My response would be similar to this thread. If he asked "are women more attracted to leaders" i'd respond similarly....but we're talking about the physical.

For the OP he isn't going to lose IQ points and the degree he's working on by going to the gym. YMCA, basement gym, LA fitness or Ballys or even just military physical training...it doesn't matter. Be the best fit guy you can be is my message and yes, women will respond. He'll still be the same guy 6 months later after working out a bit....just looks differently. Will still treat women the same, still be the same conversationalist ect. Not all buff guys are arrogant pricks...just me ;O)...I kid I kid!

I never said that guys that are buff get sex. I know many that don't in fact! My roommate is great looking tall and has far more women approach him than me...but he's arrogant and can be crass. But at least he has the opportunity to expose his true colors. The shorter skinnier guy next to him won't simply doesn't get the same attention he does. Hell even I don't! Lol. I said however that one's love life is likely to improve if they were to get fit/buff. I never said that men with average builds do not have great sex lives. I'm saying that putting on muscle can change that great to excellent!

Myself and the OP are at different points in our lives than you are. Things are different for the mid 20 age group. Women respond to everything you've mentioned except that the physical aspect carries weight too. Charm, intelligence, social savvy, ambition ect....but build certainly counts too. The OP wouldn't have started the thread had he not noted the effect that a nice build has on the women around him. Meeting people is tough at any age. The "meat market" bar, clubs, parties ect is a quick and efficient way to meet people that are all there to meet people to date(for the most part). A nice build works in attracting women. An intelligent/fun and charming convo gets their phone number. An emotional connection gets the first date.

In the end it's up to the OP. If he puts on ten pounds of muscle and doesn't get a better response from women i'll buy him a beer and eat a print out of all of my post in this thread. If a woman seriously turns him down for having a more buff body i'll eat a print out of the whole thread!

And I agree that one cannot rely on just looks to attract women. Money helps too! Ok...just kidding. But developing skills, knowledge, education, contacts, confidence can all be very attractive and WILL gain more weight as one ages.

Forgive me, but I love talking about dating and the dynamics between guys and girls. One of my favorite topics to chat about with women I just meet! So it's been my pleasure! Still learning.

I think i'm beating a dead horse here so i'll retire....maybe i'll go to the gym and workout 🙂

GQ

 

[kis123]

Not too sure how to multiquote a thread so bear with me!

When I said "settle" I mean that when he settles on his potential he also settles on his mate. To have your pick one must be on top of his game on all levels. In this thread we're simply focusing on the physical. If he asked "are women more attracted to educated men" My response would be similar to this thread. If he asked "are women more attracted to leaders" i'd respond similarly....but we're talking about the physical.

For the OP he isn't going to lose IQ points and the degree he's working on by going to the gym. YMCA, basement gym, LA fitness or Ballys or even just military physical training...it doesn't matter. Be the best fit guy you can be is my message and yes, women will respond. He'll still be the same guy 6 months later after working out a bit....just looks differently. Will still treat women the same, still be the same conversationalist ect. Not all buff guys are arrogant pricks...just me ;O)...I kid I kid!

I never said that guys that are buff get sex. I know many that don't in fact! My roommate is great looking tall and has far more women approach him than me...but he's arrogant and can be crass. But at least he has the opportunity to expose his true colors. The shorter skinnier guy next to him won't simply doesn't get the same attention he does. Hell even I don't! Lol. I said however that one's love life is likely to improve if they were to get fit/buff. I never said that men with average builds do not have great sex lives. I'm saying that putting on muscle can change that great to excellent!

Myself and the OP are at different points in our lives than you are. Things are different for the mid 20 age group. Women respond to everything you've mentioned except that the physical aspect carries weight too. Charm, intelligence, social savvy, ambition ect....but build certainly counts too. The OP wouldn't have started the thread had he not noted the effect that a nice build has on the women around him. Meeting people is tough at any age. The "meat market" bar, clubs, parties ect is a quick and efficient way to meet people that are all there to meet people to date(for the most part). A nice build works in attracting women. An intelligent/fun and charming convo gets their phone number. An emotional connection gets the first date.

In the end it's up to the OP. If he puts on ten pounds of muscle and doesn't get a better response from women i'll buy him a beer and eat a print out of all of my post in this thread. If a woman seriously turns him down for having a more buff body i'll eat a print out of the whole thread!

And I agree that one cannot rely on just looks to attract women. Money helps too! Ok...just kidding. But developing skills, knowledge, education, contacts, confidence can all be very attractive and WILL gain more weight as one ages.

Forgive me, but I love talking about dating and the dynamics between guys and girls. One of my favorite topics to chat about with women I just meet! So it's been my pleasure! Still learning.

I think i'm beating a dead horse here so i'll retire....maybe i'll go to the gym and workout 🙂

GQ

You're not beating a dead horse; you are stating your opinion in an intelligent and concise manner. Even though I don't necessarily agree with you, as long as you handle yourself in a mature manner, I have no problem discussing anything with you.

You're right--there is a large age gap between us. But when I was in my 20s, my priorities and views on relationships were pretty much the same. I gave a guy a chance even though he wasn't necessarily my so-called "type" and I didn't let my friends or family's opinions dictate who I dated. I'm still very much the same way now; the man I'm with defies everyone else I dated in looks, personality, opinions, and how he thinks. I almost didn't give him a chance until we started chatting; if I would've shut him down on looks alone I would've been a fool and would've missed out on some really great fun (and lots of great sex)!

Why don't we just split the difference and say one should present their best to the dating-relationship ring? That's going to be different from person to person. For instance, your standard of excellence is to present your physical body in its best condition. If that's high on your requirement level, that's your business and to hell with anyone who doesn't understand it

My level of excellence is personality and other attributes a man can bring to my life's table and are they compatible to mine. Also, a man that cannot teach me something new isn't going to last with me for five minutes so intelligence is paramount. Everyone has their list of what they'd like in a potential mate. Just don't box it in too tightly; that one you give a chance that you wouldn't do normally may end up being your wife someday--you'll never know.

 

[kis123]

I don't know how old you are, nor am I going to ask. But this is really wise, and I have to say I am sorry I don't meet people with your views more often 🙂

I'm probably old enough to be your mother!

But thanks for the compliment.........

 

[Mitchell]

It's not all build and muscle, trust me.

My best friend is 5 feet 10, and weighs in the 140s. He has a gf now, and has had other gfs and LTR's.

I think it really depends on the girl. I even think about this when musing about what type of girl would be attracted to me.

I'm 6 feet, and generally weigh about 175 to 180. I cant go over that weight, due to my bp.

I do have a bit of a pot belly. I know I need to hit the gym more.

My real life LTR's were when I was much thinner, before I gained weight.

As for what type of girl would be attracted to me now: I would need someone who would value several qualities. Intelligence, honesty, and honorablity. The type of girl who would like or love Mitch would be a girl who wants an intelligent conversation about world affairs. The type of girl who would like Mitch, would be a girl who would be extremely open, and could ask my opinion about anything, while knowing she would get an honest answer, without my being hurtful. The type of girl who would like Mitch, would want a guy who.. if he says he's going to pick her up for a date at 7pm, or call at
7pm, Mitch will be on the phone or at her house at 7pm, or, if I cant be, there will be a phone call or email explaining why.

I dont believe there is any set type of what girls like. Guys with muscles date girls. Guys with brains date girls. My father, and my friends fathers, definitely weren't/arent, muscle men. They were/are intelligent professional men, whose wives married them for their personality attributes. Although that was in the 1960s/1970s, there are still women like that today. A girl who would want those qualities, sounds like she would be right for you.

Mitch

 

[Coup de Grace]

i'm a guy and would have to agree cause i know guys that treat girls loke shit and dogs and have a different girl all the time. ME i would treat a girl like an angle/ queen and i get nothing.

That's not across the board though. For the most part, I treated women well AND got my fair share of hotties and dates. I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'm no slouch either.

Generally, women are more attracted to men that are outgoing and confident with a natural charisma and a larger than life personality... and that was me. Being 6'2" helped as well since I normally towered over the average guy and stood out in a crowd. In addition, women like men that can entertain them, make them laugh and forget about the crap going on in their life.

When I was younger, I lacked confidence in myself and didn't come out of my shell until I went to college... and that's where the fun began. Women don't want a guy that's timid and unsure of himself.

 

[ticklemepls]

Generally, women are more attracted to men that are outgoing and confident with a natural charisma and a larger than life personality... and that was me..

Women don't want a guy that's timid and unsure of himself.

...... yes, this may be true, but someone who acts over confident is a huge turn off and rather annoying... its a fine line...

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

Whats wrong with a woman who likes more muscular guys ? the answer is....absolutely nothing.

People now tend to want to be ''politically correct '' when it really much more refreshing when they are honest .

I don`t think anyone here would have any problem with a female who says I like to date guys who are more in shape than really skinny or really out of shape dudes.

Most normal guys who work out alot do take pride in their appearance . Whats wrong with that ? [ I`m not talking about the sterotyped juicer musclehead who has about three brain cells ]

The truth of the matter is the first things we see on a person is their general body structure and face.

I do thing guys who are in shape do tend to have more self-confidence and I think that radiates off them . Again, not talking about the small minority of stuck up ''pretty boys'' who think they are gods gift to women.

Bottom line is you like what you like; none should be put down because they like one thing over another. Screw political correctness on that count

 

[Ticklish9's]

Everyone has different tastes, we can all agree on that.

Confidence comes from competence. If you are good at things, you'll be confident in yourself. It doesn't matter what those things are, either! If you're a fantastic body builder, you'll be confident; if you're great at painting Warhammer models, you'll be confident too. When you're outside your comfort zone you'll be less comfortable, of course (a body builder painting warhammer models would feel just as out of place as a warhammer painter in a body building competition).

The trick to it is to not be ashamed to know that you're not (and can't be) good at everything, to draw strength from the knowledge that you have your own skills and abilities and to use that strength to counteract the fear that arises when you are out of your element. That's what will be perceived as confidence, and trust me when I say that if you have that sort of confidence you will never, ever have a problem with making friends or attracting people to date.

And the best part is ANYBODY can feel like that at ANY time! It does take a bit of work but it's attainable. 🙂

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

Everyone has different tastes, we can all agree on that.

Confidence comes from competence. If you are good at things, you'll be confident in yourself. It doesn't matter what those things are, either! If you're a fantastic body builder, you'll be confident; if you're great at painting Warhammer models, you'll be confident too. When you're outside your comfort zone you'll be less comfortable, of course (a body builder painting warhammer models would feel just as out of place as a warhammer painter in a body building competition).

The trick to it is to not be ashamed to know that you're not (and can't be) good at everything, to draw strength from the knowledge that you have your own skills and abilities and to use that strength to counteract the fear that arises when you are out of your element. That's what will be perceived as confidence, and trust me when I say that if you have that sort of confidence you will never, ever have a problem with making friends or attracting people to date.

And the best part is ANYBODY can feel like that at ANY time! It does take a bit of work but it's attainable. 🙂

I definately agree with the with the last half of your opinions; The first part , not so much

While what you said can definately be true , in most cases self confidence is built by societies definition of what is fashionable, or in demand.

Check out a magazine rack, magazine after magazine of ''pretty people'' on the shelves . Not alot of magazines for people who paint warhammer models. Not saying thats right or wrong; it a simple matter of demand from those who buy magazines.

The chances are if you are considered nice looking and buff my ''societies standards '' then you may well have an inner confidence just because you fit that mold.

Thats why people like Brad Pitt, Jessica Alba, George Clooney, and Halle Berry are unvoidable if you read or watch television. They exude a confidence that is undeniable. Not saying its right or wrong, but its how it is.

 

[Ticklish9's]

I definately agree with the with the last half of your opinions; The first part , not so much

While what you said can definately be true , in most cases self confidence is built by societies definition of what is fashionable, or in demand.

Check out a magazine rack, magazine after magazine of ''pretty people'' on the shelves . Not alot of magazines for people who paint warhammer models. Not saying thats right or wrong; it a simple matter of demand from those who buy magazines.

The chances are if you are considered nice looking and buff my ''societies standards '' then you may well have an inner confidence just because you fit that mold.

Thats why people like Brad Pitt, Jessica Alba, George Clooney, and Halle Berry are unvoidable if you read or watch television. They exude a confidence that is undeniable. Not saying its right or wrong, but its how it is.

I disagree. I will gladly concede that people who fit predetermined social models have an easier time of it; as a scrawny, goofy looking nerd I can certainly attest to that! But confidence comes from within; it has no need for external comparisons. And when you make that realization, and you follow your passions, then there's nothing that can hold you back. And I speak from experience in that regard, as well.

The confidence of others has no bearing on your own! You can be confident even if other people are confident too. The trick really is to simply find what you love and do it. Your passion will generate ability (people get good at things they do often, and the things they do most often tend to be the things they like the most) and your capabilities will generate confidence. Do what you love! The rest will follow.