Are Websites like MYSPACE to blame for child molestors?

[TicklishLurker]

In today's 24/7/365 information age, it is nearly impossible for a parent to catch everything their kids do.

My parents punished me in such a way that I would never have even been tempted to do what I was told not to do. As a result I never did drugs, never went away with strangers, never joined a gang.

I'm speaking from observations here - but a large number of parents I see today are just plain lazy. They come into the library, drop their kids off in the primary room, then go do whatever they want for an hour or two. They don't care if their kid is running around ripping books off shelves. Or come out and pound on the computers. Think nothing of a stranger talking to the kid. (We had an actual pedophile try to get a little girl to give him her address a couple years back.) When we ask them to monitor their children they say "I don't want to stiffle them" and all this bullcrap. Or expect us to do it. Saying they don't have time to be a parent. So why did you have kids?!

Sure, I'd love it if anyone under 18 was forever banned from MySpace. But since that's unlikely to happen, it's up to parents to make sure their kids aren't on there. If you think your kid is getting on the net at a friend's house, you tell that friend's parent your child is not allowed to do that. If they're doign it at the library you can make arrangements at the library that the child cannot do that the same way you can make arrangements that they can't check out certain books or R-rated movies. If it's at school you call up the school and say you don't want your kids on the internet and if they need to do it for a school project they can only do it under your strict supervision.

Yes, I don't have kids, but I do know the ins and outs. I have nieces and nephews to start with. I know the library procedures. And if your kid's friend's parents don't like the way you look after your kid then your kid shouldn't be hanging out with those kids in the first place.

 

[Tamia78]

My parents punished me in such a way that I would never have even been tempted to do what I was told not to do. As a result I never did drugs, never went away with strangers, never joined a gang.

I'm speaking from observations here - but a large number of parents I see today are just plain lazy. They come into the library, drop their kids off in the primary room, then go do whatever they want for an hour or two. They don't care if their kid is running around ripping books off shelves. Or come out and pound on the computers. Think nothing of a stranger talking to the kid. (We had an actual pedophile try to get a little girl to give him her address a couple years back.) When we ask them to monitor their children they say "I don't want to stiffle them" and all this bullcrap. Or expect us to do it. Saying they don't have time to be a parent. So why did you have kids?!

Sure, I'd love it if anyone under 18 was forever banned from MySpace. But since that's unlikely to happen, it's up to parents to make sure their kids aren't on there. If you think your kid is getting on the net at a friend's house, you tell that friend's parent your child is not allowed to do that. If they're doign it at the library you can make arrangements at the library that the child cannot do that the same way you can make arrangements that they can't check out certain books or R-rated movies. If it's at school you call up the school and say you don't want your kids on the internet and if they need to do it for a school project they can only do it under your strict supervision.

Yes, I don't have kids, but I do know the ins and outs. I have nieces and nephews to start with. I know the library procedures. And if your kid's friend's parents don't like the way you look after your kid then your kid shouldn't be hanging out with those kids in the first place.

TicklishLurker, Well said! You said it way better than I did. I grew up in a strict household, and I wouldn't ever think of doing anything wrong because my parents punished me in such a way that messing up would be unthinkable to me. There are ways for parents to try and monitor their kids, and you've listed some good ones.

--T

 

[venray]

Funny, but punish your kids too severely these days and DSS will take them away for you in a minute....dont even MENTION the word spank....

Become a parent.....raise a kid for 6 years...then tell me how easy it is to get them to listen and turn out right.....

R 🙄

 

[aun_existe_amor]

Funny, but punish your kids too severely these days and DSS will take them away for you in a minute....dont even MENTION the word spank....

Become a parent.....raise a kid for 6 years...then tell me how easy it is to get them to listen and turn out right.....

R 🙄

Exactly !!!

 

[TicklishLurker]

Funny, but punish your kids too severely these days and DSS will take them away for you in a minute....dont even MENTION the word spank....

Become a parent.....raise a kid for 6 years...then tell me how easy it is to get them to listen and turn out right.....

R 🙄

Considering that Children's Services wouldn't even investigate my brother and his wife even though there was proof she was beating him in front of the children, I wouldn't put too much stock in them. They leave kids in abusive households all the time. Sometimes the foster parents are abusers as well.

I still say it's up to the parents to make sure their kids are safe and stop trying to find a scapegoat. They always want to blame everyone else when they could've done something about it back when their kids were young and still listened.

I don't want kids anyway.

Edit: Keep in mind I'm basing all my statements on observations of today's parents. The ones who refuse to disapline. They're like real life versions of Ned Flander's beatnik parents. And then wonder why their kids turned out like they did. Obviously not all parents are like them, but this is the vast majority I see at work. Because some self help guru told them it's wrong to "stiffle" a child by disaplining them and teaching them right from wrong, they won't do it - then blame everyone else when the child does something bad.

 

[kis123]

My parents punished me in such a way that I would never have even been tempted to do what I was told not to do. As a result I never did drugs, never went away with strangers, never joined a gang.

I'm speaking from observations here - but a large number of parents I see today are just plain lazy. They come into the library, drop their kids off in the primary room, then go do whatever they want for an hour or two. They don't care if their kid is running around ripping books off shelves. Or come out and pound on the computers. Think nothing of a stranger talking to the kid. (We had an actual pedophile try to get a little girl to give him her address a couple years back.) When we ask them to monitor their children they say "I don't want to stiffle them" and all this bullcrap. Or expect us to do it. Saying they don't have time to be a parent. So why did you have kids?!

Sure, I'd love it if anyone under 18 was forever banned from MySpace. But since that's unlikely to happen, it's up to parents to make sure their kids aren't on there. If you think your kid is getting on the net at a friend's house, you tell that friend's parent your child is not allowed to do that. If they're doign it at the library you can make arrangements at the library that the child cannot do that the same way you can make arrangements that they can't check out certain books or R-rated movies. If it's at school you call up the school and say you don't want your kids on the internet and if they need to do it for a school project they can only do it under your strict supervision.

Yes, I don't have kids, but I do know the ins and outs. I have nieces and nephews to start with. I know the library procedures. And if your kid's friend's parents don't like the way you look after your kid then your kid shouldn't be hanging out with those kids in the first place.

Have your kids and attempt to "punish" them the way you (and I at that matter) were punished and see what happens next. These kids know what the laws are and will call 911 themselves. They don't have the wisdom maturity and common sense to realize that once social services gets involved all hell breaks loose.

You don't always know what goes on behind closed doors and if your kid is having fun at "Jonny or Sally's" house when their parents go to bed, how are you going to know?

It's great to know that you have all the answers in theory. I'm curious to know how things will go when you actually become a parent, have to work 40-50 hours a week just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Yeah, some parents are lazy and clueless. Yeah, some of these kids go in public and act like they've been let out of cages. But there are some of us parents who do the very best they can and still may not get it perfect. Are they lazy and shiftless too? No one is going to raise the perfect child even though that is many parent's intentions in the beginning prior to reality setting in.

You cannot compare the same upbringing you got to how kids are raised today. It simply isn't the same as it was when I or you were kids. Systems are in place that take a lot of parenting away from parents and give rights to kids not even old enough to accept responsibilities from their actions. Simply put, until you become a parent and walk a mile or two in my and the other parents on this thread's moccasins, you really don't have a total understanding.

You simply just have some kids nowadays that you're not going to stop them from themselves. They are just too head strong and incapable of following anyone's directions but their own. What if you end up with one of them to raise? They'll dare you to punish them and hold the phone will 911 on speedial!

 

[isabeau]

doesnt anyone find it ironic that i cant get on myspace because i am not of age?????????????//

isabeau

 

[maniactickler]

doesnt anyone find it ironic that i cant get on myspace because i am not of age?????????????//

isabeau

Well if you sent your pic to them, then no. they must think you look under 18. 😉

 

[sparkybdj]

nice !!!

Any powerful tool can always be used for good or evil. The evil is no more to be blamed on the tool than the good is to be credited to the tool. Does the company that makes test tubes get the credit when the cure for a disease emerges from one of their tubes? Of course not. No more does it get the blame when a biowarfare organism is made in one of their tubes. It's the same with MySpace. It's only a tool, which can be used for good or bad purposes.

The unfortunate thing is that we live in a society where no one is willing to take responsibility for their own actions or lack thereof anymore, and NO I'M NOT SAYING IT'S THE KID'S OWN FAULT!!!! I'm saying it's the parents who fail to adequately supervise their kids who cry the loudest to have myspace regulated or shut down. I have a 14 year old niece, and she is an avid user of myspace. I help my brother and his wife monitor her usage and contacts on myspace.

About two years ago, a guy who claimed to be 13 was pressing really hard for a face to face meeting. (This was not on myspace, but on a very similar site)She was then 12. My brother and I unobtrusively were at the meeting place at the appointed time. There was no 13 year old boy. There was a man in his early 40's, wearing the identifying garments of the boy she was to have met. We pointed this out to my niece, and sent her home with her mother. My brother and I then had a conversation with the would be molester of my niece. I think he may be out of the hospital soon.

BUT: I don't blame anything on myspace, and do not wnt to see it regulated or shut down. I want to see parents do their jobs, the way I helped my brother do it. 😡

Call the cops? Too much concern for the molester's 'rights'. Far as I'm concerned, a molester has none. 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

Mastertank1

u my friend have earned my respect !! I too have a niece on myspace, and i keep tabs on her as well. Her mother does the same, and if I was in the position u were in, i would do the same. just my opinion.

 

[sparkybdj]

Exactly !!!

i have 3 boys, and they listen to me without question, ok, without much question, lol. not out of fear, out of respect, which i have taught them. I respect my parents, thats just how it is. my oldest, who is now 18, and lives with his mother and stepfather, show nothing but respect for me, and his mother, and her husband. I am not saying it is easy, its not, but when you bring a child into this world, you have to teach them. Thats the way they learn. Its not up to a community to raise a child, its the parents job.

 

[kis123]

i have 3 boys, and they listen to me without question, ok, without much question, lol. not out of fear, out of respect, which i have taught them. I respect my parents, thats just how it is. my oldest, who is now 18, and lives with his mother and stepfather, show nothing but respect for me, and his mother, and her husband. I am not saying it is easy, its not, but when you bring a child into this world, you have to teach them. Thats the way they learn. Its not up to a community to raise a child, its the parents job.

Teaching children to respect parents and others is easy to me. It's one of the things that I consider "parenting 101" stuff. It's stuff we should know naturally. When I go in public places, that's not always the case, yet hope springs eternal!

I'm not talking about the obvious stuff. I'm talking about the stuff that wasn't around when I was a kid that's out there now. Wow, I feel like a techno-dinosaur when it comes to the electronic information age, but these kids seem born right into it. That's the stuff that's hard for me to keep up with.

I've been blessed to have raised a 20 and 16 year old without a lot of incident. There are some parents right now that don't even know if their kids are dead or alive because they have run away or have been adbucted. A lot of that comes from meeting the wrong person and establishing a relationship with someone that only intends to harm your child. Children don't understand that parents aren't there to make their world less "fun." We'd just like them to live long enough to experience the world and have real fun in the appropriate environment.

I personally think MySpace is internet junk food! It's all over the place in appeareance and I personally don't like the spam profiles that show up in my email-and I don't even subscribe to it! But, as long as there's some moderation and order and the pedophiles are getting exposed and locked up, then I guess it does have a purpose after all.

 

[venray]

I agree with everyone who says it is the parents job to safeguard their kids...

I consider having sites like myspace monitored or regulated a part of doing my job as a parent......

It would not effect the way in which adults talk with one another and could be used to set up a safer site for kids as well....

It should consist of do's and donts as far as posting personal info and warnings about talking and sharing info with people they dont really know.....

 

[sparkybdj]

well said

Teaching children to respect parents and others is easy to me. It's one of the things that I consider "parenting 101" stuff. It's stuff we should know naturally. When I go in public places, that's not always the case, yet hope springs eternal!

I'm not talking about the obvious stuff. I'm talking about the stuff that wasn't around when I was a kid that's out there now. Wow, I feel like a techno-dinosaur when it comes to the electronic information age, but these kids seem born right into it. That's the stuff that's hard for me to keep up with.

I've been blessed to have raised a 20 and 16 year old without a lot of incident. There are some parents right now that don't even know if their kids are dead or alive because they have run away or have been adbucted. A lot of that comes from meeting the wrong person and establishing a relationship with someone that only intends to harm your child. Children don't understand that parents aren't there to make their world less "fun." We'd just like them to live long enough to experience the world and have real fun in the appropriate environment.

I personally think MySpace is internet junk food! It's all over the place in appeareance and I personally don't like the spam profiles that show up in my email-and I don't even subscribe to it! But, as long as there's some moderation and order and the pedophiles are getting exposed and locked up, then I guess it does have a purpose after all.

thats tru, and i am a member of myspace, but I have also have had friend requests from young ones on there, im talkin 12 y/o to 16 y/o. ok thats right around my kids ages, if I found out, and I would find out, that my kids were asking a 40 y/o to be their friend, id smack them. Parents need to be involved, plain an simple.

 

[sparkybdj]

I agree

The problem isn't with sites like MySpace. The problem is with our joke of a justice system that doesn't punish pedophiles properly to begin with. (You know, I checked the Megan's Law website and found close to a dozen registered sex offenders - all whom raped children 14 and younger - living with in 10 blocks of my home, and some living within two blocks of the local elementry school.) It also lies with improper parenting and websites like Google Earth that can locate anyone, including people who have private phone numbers.

Of course, I believe there should be a global law that prevents anyone under 18 from being on the internet in the first place. But damn it, parents, stop expecting the rest of the world from doing your job. PARENT YOUR CHILDREN! Stop being so bloody lazy. You don't want to take the time to protect them, to punish them, to look after them the way a good parent should. That's what website filter technology is for. That's why a child should not have a computer in their own room but rather in the living room where you can check over their shoulder. That's why they should only be allowed online when you are home to monitor them.

MySpace wasn't even originally made for interaction between "normal" people - it was started by a failed musician for bands, singers, record producers, etc to promote and interact. Both Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond have profiles there. So does William Shatner, John Lovtiz (probably the only celeb who actually runs his own profile while the others are run by workers for the record companies or actors), Jamie Kennedy, and many others. It's "devolved" into a dating site now, sadly, but it was meant to help singers and other entertainers.

MySpace is not to blame. Lack of punishment and lack of parenting are.

Every thing u said was righ on in my opinion.

 

[kis123]

thats tru, and i am a member of myspace, but I have also have had friend requests from young ones on there, im talkin 12 y/o to 16 y/o. ok thats right around my kids ages, if I found out, and I would find out, that my kids were asking a 40 y/o to be their friend, id smack them. Parents need to be involved, plain an simple.

No one is saying that parents shouldn't be involved. But stuff does fall through the cracks and kids can be quite devious when they want to do something that they know their parents wouldn't approve of. Many of these are the ones falling into predators hands.

You can have parents raising children to the best of their ability and still can have a problem. You're not with them 24 hrs/day-even then some of them can find a way to get into trouble.